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Waagh



Joined: Apr 13, 2019

Post   Posted: Feb 03, 2021 - 02:57 Reply with quote Back to top

Welcome to ESPN here we will have random shows from time to time based on leagues that Coach Waagh is in when he feels like making them. enjoy or don't
Waagh



Joined: Apr 13, 2019

Post   Posted: Feb 03, 2021 - 02:57 Reply with quote Back to top

"Around the Khorne"

Jim Green: Hello everyone and welcome to “Around the Khorne” you've watched the show you know the deal panelist get the opportunity to give their opinion on a topic, they gain points for good points, they get muted for saying something dumb. The panelist with the most points at the bend of the game gan drone on about whatever they want for a little while at the end of the show. We have a great panel today, Owie Long, Him Hasasaw, Sneezing A. Snot, and Woody Oak. We’re about halfway through week one in the NBFL and a lot has happened and there is a lot to talk about.

Woody the sinners suffered huge losses in their game against apparently unironically named Destroyt is it time for Doofr to hit the panic button?

Woody: Well Jim, I know that Doofr lost four players including both his draft picks and all four players carrying guard but i really don’t think he needs to hit the panic button just yet. He still has Maclin and Shu +1 . His team was probably too big to begin with anyway and probably needed a trim to be honest +1 that being said Doofr is going to have to manage those funds carefully the rest of the season +1

JIM: Owie, C’attle wins 2-0 but the Redbulls walk away relatively unscathed. Have the C’haos gone soft?

OWIE: Good question Jim. This is not the same C’attle team from a couple seasons ago. This team has as much sure hands as a human team +1 and more blodge than an elf team, +1 WHAT HAPPENED TO THIS TEAMS TESTICLES? I mean tentacles… There was a time in C’attle every player that didn't have Claw MB tackle was a dirty player. +1 lastly, this team has no Minotaur!? C’ATTLE has no cow? This makes no sense to me. I don't know if i want to live in a world where C’attle has no cow and the gang fouls are not perpetrated by a player with dirty player +1

JIM: Him, the Beards and Brontos end the game in a 0-0 score and no cas did they even play?

HIM: No. +1 +1 +1 +1 +1

JIM: Sneezing A. the Dolts lay a beat down on the Krakens do the dolts do it again?

SNEEZING A: no, no I don’t think the Dolts do it again. The dolts are one bad game away from disaster and then they are MUTE

JIM: Then they are free to use some inducements… NORSE NORSE NORSE

Well with a total of 5 points it looks like Him Hasasaw is the winner of this weeks game and so as is tradition Him the floor is yours!

HIM: I want to take a minute here to talk about marking players. MARK YOUR DAMN PLAYERS nothing is more frustrating to me than seeing some dumb coach get got by diving tackle because he didn’t mark his players. We all laugh and joke about who uses what to mark this or that but it doesn't matter how you do it as long as it makes sense to you. Mark em’. Not only will you coach better you will also coach faster. If you have to mouse over every player every turn the game is going to take forever. Mark the players so we don't have to watch your molasses running uphill in the winter speed playing self try to coach blood bowl this is high tv here just take the time at the start of the game to mark and we won't have to sit through your four minute turns.
DrPoods



Joined: Nov 14, 2013

Post   Posted: Feb 03, 2021 - 14:30 Reply with quote Back to top

Starts scratching names in “Da Book of Grudges”...

_________________
"Gallifrey falls no more"
Do your part! Join the Adoption Agency NOW!
Waagh



Joined: Apr 13, 2019

Post   Posted: Feb 05, 2021 - 18:28 Reply with quote Back to top

“Fist Shake”

SNEEZIN’ A: Hello everyone it is a lovely Friday morning, I am here with Max Spleenripper as always and this is “Fist Shake” GOOD MORNING Max!

MAX: Good morning Sneezing A, how are you doing today?

SNEEZIN’ A: Wonderful Max Wonderful ready for another day of being right and another day of YOU MAX, OF YOU, being wrong about everything as usual.

But let's forget about that for a minute. Let's talk about how we are alike, let's talk about what bonds us, what makes us friends, let's talk about blood bowl. Where do you want to start?

MAX: There are so many places we can start we can start in the NCBB we can start in the NBFL, there are a couple games I want to talk about for sure, I want to talk about NY and Philly, and I want to talk about Tampa Bay and Nawlins. How about you Sneezin’ A? Are there any games you want to talk about?

SNEEZIN’ A: I want to talk about the upcoming match Woodington and Houston, and I want to talk about the unlikely undefeated after two games No Skin! That's where I think we will start.

No Skin… No Skin MAX SPEENRIPPER is 2-0-0 after two weeks. I don't think many saw this coming. I don’t THINK YOU saw this coming Max because you have been on the No Skin hate whaaggon since the draft. BUT I SAW THIS COMING and furthermore I'm going to go ahead and say it.... I think this team is playoff bound. BOOM there it is I said it. Let's look at their division for a second. The Skavens, beat em’. Pittsburgh, utter collapse in week one that teams season was over before it started. The Bedlam have yet to show us anything they haven't played. But right now they are my favorite.

MAX: WHOA WHOA WHOA SNEEZIN’ A. you are way off base here. WAY OFF BASE. This is the easy part of the No Skin schedule. You look at Pittsburgh and yeah they are a little beat up but they have something a lot of teams don't have. They have GREAT COACHING. The Bedlams are better than anyone gives them credit for and honestly I just feel like eventually this no skin team is going to start taking casualties and then they are going to fall apart.

SNEEZIN’ A.: YOU CAN FEEL ANY WAY YOU WANT ABOUT IT BUT THAT DOSEN'T MAKE YOU RIGHT. I'm tired of arguing about this with you it's like arguing with a brick wall. Pick another subject.

MAX: Fine. Let's talk about how TERRIBLE Tampa is.

SNEEZIN’ A: No argument here. Did you see that game? It looked like a bunch of blind mice running around with no plan at all hoping to find the end zone.

MAX: Exactly. At least they found the end zone a couple times. But Nawlins’ found it one more time. Nawlins looked like some kind of passing masters. I heard somewhere that their Coach Bill Brasky once caught a T-shirt thrown into the stands by Payton Manning.

SNEEZIN’ A.: I heard that Bill Brasky once held the worlds record for most eggs consumed in a 24 hour period. But that is neither here nor there. The fact of the matter is Brasky didn't really have to win this game because Arc just gave it to him. Some of the risky rat stuff worked out for him more of the risky elf stuff worked out for Brasky and now here we are. AND BEFORE THE AUDIENCE HAS ANYTHING TO SAY THIS COMPLETE BUTCHERING OF BOTH TEAMS HAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH THE FACT THAT THIS BROADCAST IS SPONSORED BY…

“Waaghs Waffels, When you wonder what wonderful waffle can wain your wondrous hunger, Waagh’s waffles want to waive your wanton appetite.”

MAX: Welcome back. I want to direct our attention to another game. Let's talk about what I feel like is a major upset in Philly beating New York! The croaks made a damn good run at the playoffs last season falling just short and the newcomer comes up and upsets one of the division's mainstays.

SNEEZIN’ A: BACK IT UP A STEP, sure coach ex-con has been in the east for a while but “made a run at the playoffs and came up just short'' one of these teams had to make the playoffs but this is one of the more miserable divisions in the NBFL. I don't think this game is a huge surprise and I don't think that this division gets much better with the addition of coach Fool. Have you seen him talking in discord? Way too polite and everyone knows nice guys finish last around here.

MAX: You’re mistaking kindness for weakness Sneezing A. with the expanded playoff I think that this team is a definite playoff contender. Coach Garc has started a new team and we’re going to get to that later more in detail but with the young teams and fairly favorable matchups in their division I think it would be a huge mistake to count a NCBB playoff coach out of the NBFL playoffs this early in the season. This is so you SNEEZING A. SO YOU. FIRST YOU TRY TO COUNT OUT PITTSBURGH NOW PHI… GET IT TOGETHER. DO SOME REASERCH INSTEAD OF JUST MAKING THINGS UP AS YOU GO ALONG.
SNEEZIN’ A: I’m not counting him out of the playoffs. I am counting Pittsburgh out. But I'm not counting out Philly just yet. All I said is that nice guys finish last. Did you hear me say that this is a team of nice guys? The coach may be a little soft but don't count out the players just yet. All I'm really saying here is NY just isn't that good. They choke when it matters. Like here against fresh meat. A good opportunity to start the season right, and what happens here? *makes choking sounds with hands around throat*

MAX: Mature Sneezin’ A. Real mature. Let's move on we're wasting time. I'm sure our viewers are pinching it off by now and starting to lose interest.

SNEZZIN’ A: Well let's wrap it up before they wipe and talk about two paper factories. The upcoming match between Woodington and Huston. This is definitely the game of week 1.

MAX: You’ll get no argument from me. Wood elf mirror!? Vegas has the over set at 6. And the under at 8.

SNEEZIN’ A: I am going to take the over on that on Max. This game should be a good old fashioned shootout. Both these teams are relatively new and will be looking to skill up some players by scoring copious amounts of touchdowns. In addition. These two coaches are two that seem to always find a way into the playoffs. This should be a good one.

MAX: Woodington is the smaller team. I look for them to take a wizard and a couple star players. Edril seems likely but with a wiley coach like Garc it is really anyone's guess. This team is built for popping the ball with plenty of guard, wrestle and, a ST4 war dancer. But I don't expect there to be a whole lot of caging and bashing here.

SNEEZIN’ A: If you can't protect the ball why bother trying. Keep scoring and hope your opponent makes the mistake.

MAX: Exactly and experts as we are we have plenty of room to be talking bout what we think these guys are gonna be doing and how they are going to be getting it done. That's all we have for today folks. We hope you enjoyed the show and especially enjoyed the anti climactic ending that we seem to provide every time.

SNEEZIN’ A: What do you mean anticlimactic? We told them the show is over. What else do you expect!?

MAX: I DON’T KNOW! SOMETHING WITH A LITTLE CLASS A LITTLE RESPECT SOME KIND OF WRAP UP OR TEASER INTO WHAT THE NEXT SHOW MIGHT BE ABOUT!?

SNEEZIN’ A: THE NEXT SHOW!? THAT WOULD IMPLY THAT WAAGH USES SOME KIND OF FORESIGHT THAT HE THINKS AHEAD THAT HE DOES ANYTHING OTHER THAN SPOUT GARBAGE AS HE ENDLESSLY DRONES ON

*music starts and the mics are cut Sneezin’ A. and Max can be seen in the background nose to nose yelling at one another as you uncomfortably think about how no one was wearing a mask and someone is gonna end up with the rona*
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