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 Issue 11- November 14th 2510
Obituaries/Valedictories
  • Aghieh, Dragon Warrior for the High Princes

    Today Aghieh disappeared during a match with the atloxl tanks.
    My first Mega-star, and for several games recently, the only reason the team has had a chance.

    However, rumours have sprung up that he decided to disappear due to pressure from the team manager with reference to him being a 'TR weight' and therefore 'hindering the redevelopment of the team'. These were soundly rebuked by the coach.

    Coach James_Probert had this to say: "You're claiming that Aghieh has decided to disappear due to pressure from the upper heirarchy of management with in the team with regards to the injury he's been carrying, utter nonsense."

    Aghieh was marked out to have the potential to be a legend early in his carear, when his intensive physical training regime began to pay off, and when he became notably more agile after a game with Les Morts-Vivants he looked set to become a shining star.
    However, the fairy-tale was to crash and burn just a few games later, against Brutal Deluxe Reborn as he picked up a broken neck that would impair his reflexes to this day.

    He then proceeded to become even more skillful, and, as he got older, he began chasing records... getting faster, even in his old age.

    As the team began to deteriorate around him however, he seemed to become aware of the hard choices facing the management, as they sought to prepare the team to compete in the venerated Xenophobes' Federated Leagues annual competition for High Elves.

    And so Aghieh vanished into the crowd when shoved there by Lance A. Abscess, never to be seen again!

    At the time of his disappearance, he was:

    #6 Active HE Stars
    #2 Active HE Blocker
    #13 Active HE MVP
    #6 Active HE Oldest Player
    #1 Active HE Most Blocks
    #1 Active Dragon Warrior Star
    #2 Active Dragon Warrior Blocker
    #2 Active Dragon Warrior MVP
    #1 Oldest Active Dragon Warrior
    #1 Active Dragon Warrior Most Blocks
    #18 Highest Rushing Dragon Warrior

    #4 All-time HE Blocker
    #3 All-time HE Most Blocks
    #6 All-time Dragon Warrior Star
    #6 All-time Dragon Warrior Blocker
    #8 All-time Dragon Warrior MVP
    #6 All-time Oldest Dragon Warrior
    #2 All-time Dragon Warrior Most Blocks

    Rumour has it that Lance spent long hours in therapy nursing his guilt over this terrible travesty. Only the consolation of a great many scaly women of the night, the wisdom of bartenders and vast quantities of pharmaceuticals were sufficient to bring him back to the field. He commissioned a skink, whilst acting as a footrest, to write notes of apology in iambic pentameter to Aghieh's bereaved relatives. Sometimes, tossing and turning on his piles of gold coins surrounded by debatably beautiful female saurus he can be heard muttering to himself, "It wasn't me, It was the crowd's fault" over and over. Such great emotion for a cold blooded reptile with no tear ducts...

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