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 Issue 16 - May 26th 2515
Q+A with the Great Gobbo
by The Great Gobbo

amelsetlmatch: “When will you make a Goblin Cheaters team in Stunty?”
GG: “Nevva mush, an eres y. I iz der besterest Blud Bowl koach evva an it wud be tew eesy fer me if I koached in der stunty leeg. Owevva Nige iz playa manager of a squig teem an likez it az she is still lernin ow ter koach gud.”

Roland: “Will you ever play an all-goblin (12) underworld team?”
GG: “No, I ent avvin a buncha mewtantz runnin rownd me kave lookin all freeky an everyfin.”

Cdassak: “Will we see dARR Green Tide in da Box?”
GG: “Nah, wun o der fings a gud manager does iz get proppa fixtures fer iz side. I az ter be kwite pikky wen it kumz ter oo we play else I starts runnin outta ladz. Hence no box.”

Xnoelx: “Is there any truth to the rumour that you're just a tall fat Snotling?”
GG: “No yew cheeky sod der ent! Of all der nerve!”

Dalfort: “Where did you first meet Honest John and can you tell us about it?”
GG: “I furst met Honest Jon in me local boozer, Der Bridge Inn. Ee wud kum in every Sunday lunchtime wiv a bag full of fingz ee wud be lookin ter sell. Cash only mind. Anyway we got chattin an it turned out I ad found sum fings dat ee kud sell fer me nice an kwik an it went frum der.”

Dalfort: “Is there a Mrs_Great_Gobbo?”
GG: “Der only wuman in my life iz me likkle gurl Nige an I likez it dat way az I iz tew much gobbo fer wun female ter andle!”

“When can we expect Green Tide replica shirts available from all good outlets?”
GG: “Dey iz available frum der merchandising kart now. Plese note we as stopped putting players names on der back o shirts as we gowes frew so many players it nearly bankrupted me in replacing der kit.”

Badoek: “If you HAD to pick a date for one night: Zara the Slayer or Bertha Bigfist, and why?”
GG: “I wud pikk Berfa az big gurls try arder!”

Badoek: “Which race do you prefer to play against?”
GG: “Vampires az dey spend moast of der time attackin eech over!”

Badoek: “With the amount of money going around in Blood Bowl I expect you to have some budget for education. Have you considered taking spelling and grammar lessons?”
GG:” Is tew kallin me fikk?

Harvestmouse: “If you could take any fantasy goblins and make them into a Blood Bowl team, what would they be like?”
GG: “Der wun I kan fink off wud be der Green Goblin an iz speshul pumpkin bombz. Apparently dey work by givin off supa eet dat melts steel. So dey wud reduce all AV ter 7 like Claw
Green Goblin
MA 6 ST 3 AG 4 AV 7
Dodge, Bombardier, Secret Weapon, Stunty

NerdBird: “What is The Great Gobbo's aversion to gobbos using secret weapons?”
GG: “Nuffin, but der Tide iz all bowt showin der world ow grate us Gobbos really iz.”

NerdBird: “How many roads must a goblin walk down, before you call him a man?”
GG: “Yew kan kall im a man wenevva yew want so none. Yew wud probly get a smakk fer it tho!”

Harad: “If you could sign one player, who would you sign?”
GG: “Chuck Norris MA 6 ST na AG na AV na
Skills = 'Being Chuck Norris'
If an opposing player is in Chuck Norris's Tacklezone they get knocked back D3 squares back and suffer an automatic Casualty Roll. (Stunty players get knocked back D6 squares back and Titchty players get knocked back 2D6 squres) If the knocked back player passes through any of his Team mates squares they get knocked down and must make an Armour Roll.

Chuck Norris automatically passes all Agility Rolls.

Chuck Norris automatically scores if enters the Endzone even if he doesn't have the ball.

If Chuck Norris is targeted with a Fireball or Lightning Bolt he will kick it back at the opposing Teams dugout causing all reserves to make an Injury Roll.

When Chuck Norris Kicks Off the ball will land wherever he wants it to. If the ball lands on a player that player must make a Casualty Roll.”

“Is there any truth to the rumours that the Green Tide is a) a front for (dis)organized crime b) an elaborate tax evasion scam c) the consequence of losing a bet?”
GG: “Yes.”

Drunkagent: “What makes you so Great?”
GG: “Everyfin abowt me, but espeshully me endless supply o kunnin”

Wreckage: “Why do they call you The 'Great' Gobbo?”
GG: “Kos itz me name stoopid”

Wreckage: “What's generally in a goblins diet?”
GG: “Temazepam.”

Wreckage: “Don't you feel useless sometimes, you know being a goblin?”
GG: “No.”

Wreckage: “In a 5 round match in a cage, no rules you vs Alexis Tsipras, who would win?”
GG: “Dunno, nevva erd of em. I’d rather go five rowndz in a kage wiv Alexis Texas!”

Wreckage: “What is your biggest humanitarian accomplishment?”
GG: “Probly pullin dat forn outta Niges paw wen I furst met er.”

Wreckage: “Do you think the market should be free or restricted and if restricted in what way?”
GG: “Restricted. It shud be klosed on Sundayz.”

Wreckage: “Do you just coach or have you ever played BB yourself?”
GG: “I az nevva played der game. Before I likked dat toad an went inter koachin I woz wurkin az an artist in Amazonia.”

Wreckage: “What's the root of twenty-two?”
GG: “A potato?”

Wreckage: “Who is your biggest idol, who inspired you?”
GG: “Animal frum der Muppetz.”

Wreckage: “Are you pro or anti 'spiked' balls?”
GG: “Anti definatly, koz dat fekkin skwirrel tekz em an stikkz em in igh places ter piss me off!”

Wreckage: “Is there some way to meet you in person?”
GG: “Yew kan buy me a drink in der Bridge Inn if yew want.”

Wreckage: “What is your opinion on trolls?”
GG: “I likez em, dey eetz any Jehova Witnesses oo nokkz on me door!”

 
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