“With Handicaps drawn and the amazon ladies high on drugs and the ref bribed by promies of 'i luv u long time' the coin was flipped and Essetesford chose to receive.

The mummywell lads already looked downcast as draws tend to follow when opposing teams get first drive.

Looking to take the initative against the non bashy zons, Mummywell placed 3 of their mummies on the LOS including the two sidesteppers in an attempt to stop the Zon drive before it even got started.

The first few turns went well and mummywell brought their strength to bare against the Essetesford line, frustrating them into a foul using their ball carrier \o/

This left the carrier exposed and he was summarily sacked, however the ball was not in a position to be retreived by mummywell.

Keeping the pressure on the zon offense Essetesford tried to break a couple of players forward into scoring positions, but these were marked up and tickled a bit. ;)

The ball went down again and had some tacklezones put on it, but the most dangerous zon on the field (an ag4 SF lady, eurgh) scoffed at the tacklezones and made of with the ball into scoring range.
Despite being battered to the ground again by one of the blitzras she picked herself up, dodged out, picked up the ball and GFI'd for the score.
1-0 to Essetesford Town.

This left Mummywell with 3 turns to equalise and put in more hurt.
They duly obliged with the hurt and did get a blitzra into scoring range requiring some dodge dice to sack him, but Essetesford were up to the task and the half ended 1-0.

during the half time break, coach Gritter had some stern words with his men and told them they were going soft.
Gritter: Dis aint gonna be another bore draw ladz, we can win dis!
Chris Coleman: whaddya mean we can win dis? Everyone knows we only score once a half, and anyway teh fans wanna see another pitch clearance!
Gritter: i mean we score in turn 5 and smash bash and stamp on anything in our way!

So, with 10 zons lining up in front of the firing squad... i mean the high scoring Mummywell team it was game on again.
Mb hits came hard and fast with zons leaving for the hospital or nursing sore heads in the KO box as mummywell comfortably retrived the ball and formed a 'fast' moving cage.
With 5 amazons left the opportunity was there to form the cage within scoring distance for Chris Crutches Coleman for a turn 4 score, however the lads felt another turn of grinding was needed and risking a GFI score was tempting fate.

Another gang foul later and a multiblock from Danny 'Bandages' Murphy the the cage cruised over the line leaving Mummywell with 3 turns to try and win the match or ars it up completely!

Unfortunately 4 of the 6 amazon KO's made it back on to the field making the 'ars it up' option look more likely.

Nevertheless mummywell went for gold and just left one safety back and all 4 mummies on the los with blitzra and throwra on ball retrieving duties.

The fans were so excited by this stage that they invaded the pitch.
The pitch invasion was very much an equal opportunites attack on the players with even numbers of players left stunned, however with Essetesford having less players to start with this made their attempt to win the match more unlikely.

Essetesford chickened out of setting up a 2db blitz down one flank and chose to protect the ball first and instead launched a successful 1db blitz to pose Mummywell a scoring risk.

Mummywell marked up the lone amazon receiver before surging after the ball and surrounding those shielding it.

The triksy amazons managed to get away though and despite a 2db with no tackle on the carrier kept hold of the ball....

Essetesford then put one of their players into scoring range for the next turn before desperately passing to him as nobody could protect the thrower that turn.... the pass was good and Gritter grimaced.

Mummywell had one chance left to win as they had purposely left Jimmy 'Krankee' McGregor in scoring range.
The mummywell blitzras successfully brought down the Essetesford ball carrier ending the scoring risk; Huzzah.!

Then Chris Coleman, remebering his coaches halftime advice went to retreive the ball, his surehands did not fael him and he unleashed an unsteady long range pass to Wweeeeee Jimmy Krankee.

The pass was good and Jimmy gfi'd over the line for a shock score.

Much wootage was had all round although not all Oldskool Mummywell fans were happy about the display.

"Im a bit worried" muttered one old timer interviewed after the game.
"We passed up a perfectly good pitch clearance, and for what?!?!? so we could throw that silly ball about like a bunch of elven pansies!"


gg Cyrus and gl in the league :)”