“We welcomed a big bunch of Chaos worshippers to the store. The seemed dead keen on buying us out, and here at Casualties R Us, customer service is our game.

They received, and the sales rolled in immediately. They left the ball loose, so Troubled Elbow went for it, and had to be saved by the apothecary for his trouble. That was early! The crowd threw the spill back all the way over to Leif, who caught it! Handoff to Foot Crushed, Ed put him, terrible throw, right next to a wall of Chaos. They into us, fouling shorties, threatening the trees, and scoring quickly.

Perfect Defence against us, Cracked Ribs to Post Trauma, Ed put him over the top, and he sprinted in. Lovely. Ha! They didn't even move. Then the rain came down.

They stumbled with the ball, and Cracked Ribs was over and away, but their goat was quick to hit feet and the lad just isn't what he used to be, off for the day again. So close. Left them a long bomb in the rain, no trouble, they scored. Kick too deep to get the last-gasp equaliser, but the rain cleared and Miffing Douf put on a small show at the back.

Our start, Paininthe Neck went over the top, but again the throw was a rough one in traffic and he was out. They caged up, Creaky Knee wrestled it free, and Leif tried to put Luckier Break over only to hit Creaky. Not a day for our throwing game.

They couldn't pick up, so Miffing Douf, only man standing, punted it, then got smashed properly. With Leif fouled off too, we called it a day, Gunner Kick and Luckier Break the only two left able to field.

What a brilliant day of sales. 9 good ones and 1 foul one, we'll take that. With a performance like that, it's time for a serious look at a tournament for some even bigger sales.”