“An epic stunty madness match!

Started normally enough with a goblin drive down the right flank to score, the drive only marred by the splatter of thrown snotling bomb viscera across the Runtz clean (ish) shirts.

The game restarts and the Runtz blitz but are just not fast enough to get to the ball. Ogre and theoretical physicist extraordinaire Richard Fynogre dashes back to help cover the ball only to be blitzed by the Runtz’s Pogoer ‘Stickit’ as the Ogre topples backwards Stickit can be heard to scream ‘Renomalize the inherent infinities out of that Dick!’ but before Stickit can go one and demonstrate a new class of diagrams for integrable field theories he has his pogo stick shoved up him by Roland Eotvogre who chuckles ‘Is just like taking contour integrals around a pole heheh’.

The Large Ogre Colliders finally free up the ball when Eotvogre sits down heavily on goblin Vel-low who immediately vanishes, he is later discovered wedged between Eotvogre’s buttock… when asked in a post match interview what he was doing there Vel-low, clearly disturbed, ranted about a search for dark matter and weakly interacting particles in the deepest darkest places of the Old World… Ogre Irwin Schodoger is particularly fascinated by the disappearance of Vel-low and is heard to wonder aloud ‘Iz ze gobbo alive or iz ze dead.. or iz ze both… later I must try zis with some nasty catz’. Despite the humour of dubious relevance or Physical accuracy the half ends with neither side able to add to the score board… largely due to an argument breaking out amongst the Ogre scorers as to the value of the sum of all positive integers.

Second half starts with the Colliders inventing a new game of pass the gobbo, rolling 14 block dice and not knocking a single Goblin over. Bored of the lack of death or dismemberment involved in the ‘pass the gobbo’ game Yuichitogre invents a different game – gobbo diving - by belly flopping on the head of a luckless green skin. This game catches on quickly among the Colliders who perform a range of elegant dives onto the prone forms of the Runtz splattering the goblins in the process… they will be picking goblin parts out of their collective navels for weeks to come! Decimated by the swan diving ogres the Runtz can do nothing to prevent and equalizer being scored against them.

With few goblins left the Runtz find themselves once more overwhelmed by the intellectual power arrayed before them and concede a second score as Richard Fynogre launches snotling ‘Hydrogen’ down field to score. The match is all but over, the Runtz fail their own TTM attempt to tie up the game but in a bewildering display of too little too late insanity the Runtz gobbos go into an ogre blocking frenzy knocking two of the Colloiders down and injuring one of them!

A truly hilarious game, I’ve never had so much fun being POed to death before. Well played and I look forwards to our next encounter.
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