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Heeeey Sportsfans! Lorenz Bootbaeur here live for Cabalvision!
We're back on the misty isle of Albion and on our way to the village of Llyn Barfog - a dismal place of ill repute generally avoided at all costs as it's home to the Fimir. We however are actually trying to find them in all this mist for our match vs. the Misty Isle Gators at the Murky Water Dome stadium. It's quite the slog getting the team and all their gear through the endless fens, bogs, quagmires, marshes or whatever else you want to call this insect plagued hell that we've spent the last week navigating. Soaked to the skin at the end of the day, you'll be kept up by the sounds of something slithering or crawling around - not for the faint of heart, that's for sure! The pixies are fine with it being accustomed to living in this sort of habitat, and the giants- well nothing much phases them really, though I can't say the same for yours truly and the rest of the extended team. We'll be looking to get this over with and back to the Two-Headed Dog for a well deserved bath, shave, meal and several pints of Gwoft Ale! That's right folks, the Beerbog Brewery has just unveiled a new ale supported by the Beerbog Behemoths own Gwoftirbnewfg, an upcoming star in the Albion and Norsca regionals we're sure!

The Fimir of course are reviled and feared throughout Albion, filthy one-eyed beasts with cudgels for tails who really shouldn't have a place in Blood Bowl if you ask my opinion! Known daemon summoners with some really nasty habits as far as mating goes if rumours down the local pub are to be heeded too! Needless to say, the cheerleading squad made their way back to the Two-Headed Dog Inn and won't be attending this match just in case.

Oh, hey! I almost forgot - here's someone you avid Blood Bowl fans will already know - Vinny Valhalla has made the trip with us from our last match against Vostok Iron-Head. Well known in Norsca, Vinny is rightfully a star and can do something those Fimir can't - play ball, that's what! Vinny was impressed by the Behemoths play, and approached the staff afterwards expressing a desire to play with the team whenever needed. He also has an appreciation for the Beerbog breweries selection of gruits and ales - fine taste there Vinny!

Well, back to the pre-match here! This should be a good one - though the Gators don't have too much in the way of ball handling except for those accursed daemons, they've certainly got something to show in the blocking department and might even give the giants some trouble. Nuffle forbid if they start laying into the pixies - that could prove disastrous!
On the Behemoths side, they've got a speed advantage and the giants can tie them up as long as they work together - though that's asking a lot from a giant, I'll say! Either way, I'm sure we're in for a great game.

This pitch is in need of some love though now that I get a close look at it - in comparison, it makes the Behemoths converted cattle paddock look like one of the great stadiums. Sure, sure it's the only patch of dry land for miles and all that, but the Fimir could learn how to paint a straight line - I'm quite sure those sidelines aren't legal! Anyhow, that'll be for the ANBBA to take a look at - I mean that is what we pay them for isn't it?

On to other things - the Behemoths have a new look! new logo and new colors - I gotta say I'm impressed, and the pixies love it too! From what I heard, the old purple team colors clashed with their complexions - they're more into earth tones.

As always, we're brought to you by the fine brewers at the Beerbog Brewery...and speaking of which, how about a word from our sponsors...

Gwoftirbnewfg the giant appears in his team uniform engaging in what appears to be a mock scrimmage on the line of a Blood Bowl pitch. A whistle blows and he and a human opponent in a non-descript uniform strain to throw each other down. In the background grunts and various other sounds of armour crashing together as well as the roar of the crowd is heard. Gwoft quickly throws down his opponent with a satisfying thud and strides confidently off the sidelines towards you with what appears to be a smile on his face. An elven cheerleader in the Beerbog Behemoths colours hands him a towel and an appropriately large pint of beer as he walks even closer towards you

A manly baritone voice that clearly isn't the giants is dubbed in though Gwoft's mouth moves

Hi I'm Gwoftirbnewfg, the Beerbog Behemoths own captain and leading blocker and when I'm not taking care of business on the pitch I like to relax with a fine pint of Gwoft Ale. Rich and creamy with delicate hints of moss and elderberry - aaah that hits the spot!...

Gwoft takes a large sip and grins his eyes slipping into a reverie, his face fading into scenes of a moor with birds flying overhead and a quaint wooden building next to a stream with smoke curling from a brick chimney . This again slow fades into the interior of a brewery with a bespectacled old dwarf checking several rows of kegs with some strange brass and glass contraption. After checking several kegs, he turns around towards you and gives you a hearty thumbs up.

A different soothing voice narrates

...brewed in small batches with quality local ingredients in Albion's own Beerbog Brewery, our dedication to quality surpasses even the strictest requirements. Accredited dwarven brewery technicians from the World's Edge Mountains are on site ensuring that *your* beverage experience is the the best it can be.

the scene fades back to Gwoft now relaxing on a large velvet divan with a comely elven attendant in skimpy attire to the side, hoisting an ornate silver tray with grapes and other exotic fruits . the original voice dubs over Gwoft's again

...you're the king of your own castle and and you've worked hard to build that moat and repel invaders, so when it comes time to take a load off - why drink any old peasant swill? Drink the best... drink Gwoft!

the scene fades back to the match in progress

...aandd we're back! oh, it looks like the ball is in play already, Behemoths receiving - good, good!

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