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Past Players of These Shorts Dont Lie
| Player | Position | Games | SPPs | Skills | Injuries | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 14 | Kurz | Blocker | 1 | 0 | Block, Tackle, Thick Skull | |
| 7 | Sh'ort | Blocker | 5 | 0 | Block, Tackle, Thick Skull | |
| 5 | Too Short | Blocker | 7 | 0 | Block, Tackle, Thick Skull | m |
| 2 | Short Wayne II | Blitzer | 18 | 4 | Block, Thick Skull | d |
| 6 | Shortn Sweet | Blitzer | 29 | 42 | Block, Thick Skull, Guard, +ST, Mighty Blow | d |
| 5 | Da Shorts | Longbeard | 8 | 7 | Block, Thick Skull, Tackle, Stand Firm | d |
| 4 | Rather Shortened | Troll Slayer | 9 | 8 | Block, Thick Skull, Dauntless, Frenzy, Guard | n |
| 3 | Delaware Shortovowich | Runner | 36 | 85 | Sure Hands, Thick Skull, Block, Dodge, Dump-Off, Fend, Kick-Off Return | -ag |
| 8 | Shortshooter | Longbeard | 7 | 2 | Block, Thick Skull, Tackle | d |
| 14 | Da Short | Longbeard | 6 | 0 | Block, Thick Skull, Tackle | m, n |
| 2 | Short Wayne | Blitzer | 15 | 20 | Block, Thick Skull, Mighty Blow, Guard | m, -av |
| 10 | Marvin the Short | Runner | 31 | 64 | Sure Hands, Thick Skull, Block, Pass, Accurate, Nerves Of Steel | n, d |