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Tymless
Last seen 3 hours ago
Shambling Undead
Star
Shambling Undead
Record
372/187/322
Win Percentage
53%
Orc
Star
Orc
Record
232/113/213
Win Percentage
52%
Overall
[R]
Star
Overall
Record
1439/604/1099
Win Percentage
55%
Archive

2019

2019-11-06 22:59:54
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2014

2014-12-12 20:59:57
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2014-10-15 03:14:35
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2014-09-26 18:27:29
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2010

2010-02-09 21:53:57
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2009

2009-12-22 19:32:28
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2009-12-04 22:20:17
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2009-11-02 17:29:27
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2008

2008-01-25 06:16:11
rating 4.6
2014-06-29 04:16:40
13 votes, rating 4.2
Since I started again
Since I started again with the humor blogs might as well shoot one out now.


Drunks at the Bar
Two drunks realize that they are sobering up and only have $1.25 between them. So, they buy a hot dog from a hot dog stand and go into the next bar.

They do shot after shot until the bartender demands that they pay up. The drunk with the hot dog opens his zipper and puts it through the opening. The other drunk gets down and starts sucking on it. The bartender throws them out.

The drunks go to several bars with this routine until they are beyond drunk.

"Man," one of the drunks says, "that hot dog trick worked great."

"Actually," the second drunk says, "I ate the hot dog at the second bar."


I am a Man.
Me: Say "I am a man" after everything I say.
Friend: Alright.
Me: You broke up with your girlfriend.
Friend: I am a man.
Me: You decided to get drunk.
Friend: I am a man.
Me: You went to the bar.
Friend: I am a man.
Me: You found a hot chick there.
Friend: I am a man.
Me: You invited her to your house and she said yes.
Friend: I am a man.
Me: You both came into your room and had sex.
Friend: I am a man.
Me: Next morning you wake up.
Friend: I am a man.
Me: And she says...
Friend: I am a man.

On an Island
Three men are stranded on an island. They are close to starvation, when a Native Tribe finds them and takes them back to their camp. The leader says:" Go in a jungle and bring back a fruit, then we will let you live". They go out looking for fruits, the first guy comes back with a peach. The leader says:" Now take the peach and shove it up your bum, if you laugh, we will kill you."
He attempts it but has to laugh so they cut his head off. The second man appears back from his trip with a grape. The leader gives him the same instructions, but the second guy doesn't seem to have any problems, but bursts out laughing mid way through his test. He too is beheaded.

In heaven the two guys meet, the first guy says:" I laughed because the peaches fuzz was tickling my bum, why did you laugh?"
The second man responded:" I was doing fine, until I saw the third guy come back with a Pineapple."


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Comments
Posted by Jeffro on 2014-06-29 15:26:57
\o/ Jokes are fun. Keep 'em coming!
Posted by Jopotzuki on 2014-06-29 21:50:12
Why would the men laugh while showing big fruit up their bum? I guess it would hurt a lot.
Posted by Tymless on 2014-06-30 03:54:23
I am guessing over-analyzing a joke takes the fun out of it.