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Calm Kaoz
Roster [R] Goblin

We manage to Survive



A badly coached, pacifist and intellectual bunch of little greenskins.



- Club History -


The Calm Kaos Company foundation involved a bunch of goblins, a smuggling of warpstone, a teleporter and a drunk guy from a different dimension that nothing have to deal with the weird italian '18 summer and the political struggles that are still afflicting the country.

The meeting of this promiscuous protagonists gifted us with one of the finest licterature club that gobs have ever seen... well, probably the only one and, if luck is with us, the last one. You'll certainly agree with me that to cross the golden door of the best poetry accademy of Tilea beeing totally drunk, with some gobs, a lot of warpstone and two trolls it's not an easy task. Things went wrong, people get angry and a ball was hanging around minding it's own business... welcome to Calm Kaoz Company! Maybe not the best poetry club but for sure not the best blood bowl team!






- Notable Active Players -







Pazolini "What Da.." Creep IV The Chainsaw Rider

Pazolini is probably the most famous active (and highest paid, sigh) player of the team, and also the smallest one! Despite the size, him and his motorcycle chainsaw, named "Passion, Perversion and Pain" shortly "PPP", are always welcomed by the roars of the crowds. His performance on the field is comparable only with his damn good ability to make lot of money out of the merchandising and the selling of his poetry book "Memories of a Pervert and his Chainsaw" . There's even some player named after him but just a few of them can actually say to be in his entourage!
Pazolini "What Da.." Creep IV Da Poet

Pazolini is known for his neorealistic style heavly influenced by Tilean culture, his writings explore the relation between society, religion and sexuality. The attentive reader will found a provocative but effective trend that reminds to the political controversies of the last century.

Here's some lines from the book "Memories of a Pervert and His Chainsaw"

- ’tzil menz will ‘xploit menz, ‘tilz manzkind iz divided ‘nto zlaves ‘nd masterz no peace will be . Reazon of all bleah of world iz here. Luckily me a gob and wiz my chainsaw me go and give a lessonz to arrogantz badheadz baz-tard humanz causing all diz trouble to oderz!


- Iz da sand of da pitch, not da sin of da foul, dat zeparate uz from heaven

- Me zavagely love life, me like mine and peoplez perversion. Me motto iz zex, chainsaw und poetry. Ow is dat go to end? Well, me a gob, a gob wid chainsaw... Du kan make gud guess.”
Pazolini "What Da.." Creep IV Da Resultz
Did You Know #3
Pazolini "What Da.." Creep IV Did you know?

Pazolini favorite (After his chainsaws-bike obviously) is a Witch Elf from the Black Panters of Palenque, a certain Pazzolina the Creepy One . A couple of Paparazzi insinuate that they have a relation and that they even bring Pazolini's chainsaw in their bed but they refused to publish any picture to preserve their readers mental health.




Manzo & Pardi Literature Holy Beasts


What a pair of trolls have to share with a Poetry Club is a question that the coach avoid cautiously, except maybe in some wild and drunk nights, and, seen the results on the field, the fan kindly avoid to pose. While Leopardi is the one that don’t like to lose time in chitchatting and goes straight to impose is hermetic, and still really effective, violence, Manzoni is the artist of complexity who likes to surprise with his fast and weird actions. The identical twins are the only active players who managed to intercept a ball.
Manzo & Pardi Literature Holy Beasts

gjfjf
Manzo & Pardi Literature Holy Beasts
Did You Know #3
Manzo & Pardi Literature Holy Beasts

fghd




- Hall of fame -


Hugo "Da Starvin" Foscolo, The Legend, 81G, 32 TD, 206 ssp
"That little Punk! That incredible agile player! Da frickin' Legend! Was the fastest gob I’ve ever seen but he also was a poetry maniac and from time to time he liked to have a break and talk about is passion with who was around. Sadly the stinkig thing that killed him wasn't so interested on the social consequences of Tilean New Wave Romanticism."

Da Licterate One, The Strong Gobbo, 82G, 405 Bl, 18Cs, 88 ssp
"Poetry wasn't Da Lictertate's coup of tea. This gob, nothing lass then Foscolo's cousin, wasn't even a pacifist. To be honest he was pretty different from the rest of the team, not really clever and everything else but, well, he was a half decent lineman. Probably the best half decent lineman that Calm Kaoz Company will ever see."


Gobbo "Da Killah" D'Annunzio, The +MA Fanatic , 56G, 20Cs, 55 ssp
"You know, when you coach gobs it's hard to don't fall in love with the pretty stupid idea that a gob handling an enormous spiked ball is poetry at it's finest. D'Annunzio, the very first one, was chanting some of the most dramatic goblin's songs I ever heard while he was swinging around the field in the opposite direction of where the action was."

Big Guy Manzoni III, The Caravan of the Team, 65G, 34Cs, 1In!, 95ssp
"Big Guy Manzoni da third was damn slow and not really made for poetry. On the other hand he was a enormous pile of damn cleverness. He was even able to spell his entire name... most of the times... like, twice, err, once he made it, that's sure."






CABALNET




THIS MESSAGE IS OFFERED BY

OrcaCola






CABALNET







___________________________________________
______________..WROOM..
______
____________________________________________



___________________________________________








CABALNET





Our Hero was enjoying
the gentle breeze
of Tilea






CABALNET




___________________________________________

________________________

____________________________________________
_______________..WROOM..
______
___________________________________________






CABALNET




___________________________________________
_______________..WROOM..
______
____________________________________________



___________________________________________









CABALNET





___________________________________________

________________________

____________________________________________
_______________..WROOM..
______
___________________________________________






CABALNET





While suddenly...
(Dramatic tone)






CABALNET




___________________________________________
_______________
______
____________________________________________



___________________________________________






CABALNET





TAN TAN TAN TAAAAAAN!!!!






CABALNET






TAAAN

TAAAAAN

TAAAAAAAAN

TAAAAAAAAAAAAAN







CABALNET





!!DA BLOODY ELF!!



(now is the moment to put kids to bed)






CABALNET




___________________________________________
_______________..SKREEK..
______

____________________________________________



___________________________________________






CABALNET





Our hero explained his reasons
slowly and politely.







CABALNET






You filthy pointy earz BAZ-TARD!






CABALNET





The elf, as expected,
responded vulgarly
and with an histeric tone!







CABALNET






_____________Me Elf! Me Bloody! Me Sorry!
______






CABALNET





We know, we know dear spectator...
Enough is enough!
The INSULT had to be CLEARED!







CABALNET





!But worry not!
WROM, WROOOM, WROOOOOM!






CABALNET






...WROOOM...
______


Our Hero start a blitz action.
..Chainsaw Roll [6]

....Our Hero uses his chainsaw.
..Our Hero blitz Bloody Elf:
....Armour Roll [6][6]

......Rolled total of 12
......The armour of Bloody Elf has been broken
....Injury Roll [6][6]
......Rolled total of 12
......Bloody Elf suffers a casuality
....Casuality Roll [6][6]
......Da Bloody Elf has been killed








CABALNET








Da Bloody Elf has been killed







CABALNET






___________________________________________
_______________..SPLOSH..______

____________________________________________



___________________________________________







CABALNET







The soild rests of Da Bloody Elf
were given to the Trolls








CABALNET








nom nom nom








CABALNET







Our hero went back to the castle
and had multiple affair
with many princess,
the trolls had been fed,
the blood stain eventually was
washed away by the rain
...and they lived happily ever after.







CABALNET







Pazolini we Love you!






CABALNET






_____________Me too!!
Naaaa, naaaa!______






CABALNET






This movie was offered by OrcaCola.
It was made for an interracial
fundrising campaign
to force elf to wear chain
before even think to put
a feet on the pitch






CABALNET







"The Bloody Elf,
they play so good
we need to bribe the ref!"

(jingle)







CABALNET






- in collaboration with -


Calm Kaoz Company






CABALNET






- STARRING -

In order of appearance


Pazolini "What Da" Creep as Our Hero


Da Bloody Elf as Bloody Elf


Blood Stain as Bloody Elf



Manzo&Pardi as the Trolls







CABALNET







- Special thanks to -

Lasgalen

who kindly offered Da Bloody Elf

Carlo_Pellegatti

who brought the blood after taking so much

GnoblarBezer

who took the time to train the Calm Kaoz

GotrekSlayer

the first who joined Calm Kaoz fluff

The Great Gobbo, DaveH & Wolbum

such an inspiration






View Log | Show matches | Show stats | Show Development | Show past players | View Roster | Yearbook | Team Options | Refresh
Progression: Standard
# Name Position Ma St Ag Av Skills Inj G Cp Td It Cs vp Sp Cost  
1 Da Great Leopardi IVTroll4519Mighty Blow, Always Hungry, Loner, Really Stupid, Regeneration, Throw Team-Mate, Block, Guard, Tackle, Break Tackle, Multiple Block 5200132696110k (110+120k) 
2 Big Guy Manzoni IIITroll5519Mighty Blow, Always Hungry, Loner, Really Stupid, Regeneration, Throw Team-Mate, Guard, Block, Break Tackle, +MA, Juggernaut 5300120987110k (110+120k) 
3Infamous Dante VIII'Ooligan6237Dodge, Disturbing Presence, Fan Favourite, Right Stuff, Stunty 400000070k (70+0k) 
4 Pazolini Da Creep IVLooney6247Chainsaw, Secret Weapon, Stunty, +AG, Dodge, Block 71020184840k (40+90k) 
5Gobbo D'Annunzio VFanatic3737Ball & Chain, No Hands, Secret Weapon, Stunty, Mighty Blow 1700021970k (70+20k) 
7 Shasha Da Shasha XVGoblin6237Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty, Diving Tackle 1500021940k (40+20k) 
8Goblinese Calvino XVIIDoom Diver6237Right Stuff, Stunty, Swoop 700000060k (60+0k) 
9Da Incredible Virgilio IIIGoblin6237Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty, Diving Tackle 2700021940k (40+20k) 
10Da Mighty Pirandello IIIGoblin6237Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty 1100000040k (40+0k) 
11Short Legs Bigh Ambitions V...Goblin6237Dodge, Right Stuff, Stuntyn2300000040k (40+0k) 
12The One Who Cook IVGoblin6237Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty 300000040k (40+0k) 
13Makiavelliz da VIPogoer7247Dodge, Leap, Very Long Legs, Stunty, Sure Feet, +AG, Sprint 9050043570k (70+80k) 
14Da Licterate On VGoblin6237Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty 1300000040k (40+0k) 
15Erriz Da Lucaz VGoblin6237Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty, Diving Tackle, Wrestle 58210221940k (40+50k) 
14 players  
Coach: RossoFiorentino Re-Rolls (120k): 3  
Race: Goblin Fan Factor: 5  
Team Value: 1610k Assistant Coaches: 0  
Treasury: 160000 Cheerleaders: 0  
Tournament Weight: 1610k Apothecary: Yes  

Games Played:159 (19/19/121) |TD Diff:-226 (106 - 332) |Cas Diff:-235 (217/92/45 - 406/130/53)
Last Opponent: Rigor Mortis of Onttola