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Short Black Coffees
P [R] Chaos Dwarf
The "Short Black Coffees" are little high on life due to a few to many expressos at breakfast. Actually, it is probably safe to say that it is breakfast, lunch and dinner with a few in between for good measure. The quantity they consume is bewildering and almost unquantifiable. Safe to say, if FUMBBL was ever to initiate random drug testing then the "Short Black Coffees" would be done for Caffeine doping, to the last Dwarf, Hobgoblin and Bull Centaur.

Over a few Irish Coffees after their first ever match the players made a pact, which boils down to a few simple rules:

  1. No Minotaur will ever be hired... they have all lost control at any cafe the team has taken them to and danced around like a bull in a china shop. Totally unacceptable and hence they are banned
  2. Because of the copious amounts of caffeine pulsing through their veins, every member of the Short Black Coffees is nervous of sharp objects and tends to develop twitches if they trip and literally dive to the floor. Hence no CLAW and no PILING ON skill choices are allowed
  3. Since an Apothecaries tend to have sharp implements in their medical bags, the Short Black Coffees are rather nervous of them and won't consider hiring one (due to the sharp stuff. This maybe reconsidered if they ever get a Star. NB, this is still under consideration since they only have 2 Stars and they are not that special
  4. Babes serve Beer which tends to mix with the caffeine and leads to unfortunate consequences... Hence Babes are only to be hired if there is no other option available... Bring on the full pack of inducements to make it impossible for the Short Black Coffees to hire one
  5. You only get to leave the team once you are DEAD

Finally, the dwarves in the Short Black Coffees have an even greater predilection for gold than pretty much any other dwarf going around. "Yes this may seem strange, but it is true", hence the coach has found it almost impossible to get to hold of the winnings. On the few occasions the coach has successfully received funds, it required a written request in triplicate, with a strategic positioning paper justifying the need for funds to be released and signed and countersigned by each playing member of the team. Safe to say the chances of the roster ever growing beyond 11 is extremely slim! OK... 12 or maybe 13 is one of the hobs snuck a friend in ;-)

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Progression: Standard
#NamePositionMaStAgAvSkillsInjGCpTdItCsvpSpCostOp
1Café mélange IIChaos Dwarf Blocker4329Block, Tackle, Thick Skull 100000070k (70+0k) 
2Café Bombón IIIChaos Dwarf Blocker4329Block, Tackle, Thick Skull, Guard, Side Step 24000342670k (70+50k) 
3Caffè latte IVChaos Dwarf Blocker4328Block, Tackle, Thick Skull, Guard, Mighty Blow-av20020612370k (70+40k) 
4Café au lait IIIChaos Dwarf Blocker4329Block, Tackle, Thick Skull, Guard, Mighty Blow 16000611770k (70+40k) 
5Café Mocha VChaos Dwarf Blocker4329Block, Tackle, Thick Skull 000000070k (70+0k) 
6Caffè Americano IIIChaos Dwarf Blocker4319Block, Tackle, Thick Skull-ag900010270k (70+0k) 
7Vienna coffeeHobgoblin Runner6347Block, Sure Hands, Tackle, +AG, Fend 5973109112340k (40+120k) 
8Turkish coffee IIIHobgoblin Runner6337Block, Kick, Wrestle 34030143140k (40+60k) 
10Instant coffeeHobgoblin Runner6237Wrestle, Strip Ball, Tackle, Fend, Dauntless-st562121488840k (40+100k) 
11Café Carajillo IIBull Centaur Blitzer6449Sprint, Sure Feet, Thick Skull, +AG, Block, +AG 141804138130k (130+100k) 
12Freeze Dried Coffee IIHobgoblin Runner6337  400000040k (40+0k) 
16Ca phe sua da IIBull Centaur Blitzer6429Sprint, Sure Feet, Thick Skull, Block, Mighty Blow, Frenzy, Stand Firm, Tackle 390140273111130k (130+100k) 
12 players  
Coach:polemarch Re-Rolls (140k):4  
Race:Chaos Dwarf Fan Factor:12  
Team Value:1850k Assistant Coaches:0  
Treasury:1580000 Cheerleaders:0  
Tournament Weight:1850k Apothecary:No  

Games Played:60 (35/16/9) |TD Diff:44 (93 - 49) |Cas Diff:59 (96/53/18 - 58/28/22)
Last Opponent: Surely This Team