Rabid_Bogscum
Joined: Aug 04, 2005
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 Posted:
Jun 10, 2006 - 14:36 |
 
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Rabid_Bogscum
Joined: Aug 04, 2005
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| Posted:
Jun 10, 2006 - 14:45 |
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Rabid Does the Land of the Long White Cloud
Have a good few weeks guys.. got my games played.. theo dont forget my extension for DSL. Im off to NZ with my missus and 18 month old son. Leave on Wednesday and back on the 3rd of july.. so should be ok for new season. Would love to meet some of my antipodean cousins but im afraid with it being a relaxing semi romantic holiday.. my fellow 'leprosy' sufferers will be off limits  . but if you guys have any must see's you can think of please let me know. Im going from north to south in 20 days so hopin to see a fair bit. CTS is set to go.. hope you guys get stuck into it for me.. and please send me votes for the crystal slipper of gone... the game thrives on fluff like this I think. Will try and have the conference side for probowl done and sent to snorri.. oz should have premier sorted early in the week too. Cmon the socceroos. Cmon the wallabies..hmm what else... AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE...........
Catch ya soon guys |
_________________
Commissioner of the Sydney League of Blood Bowl (SLOBB)
Eucalyptus Bowl 2020
Australia's Premier Resurrection Blood Bowl Tournament
Proud Member of the SWL |
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Grey_Wolf
Joined: Mar 25, 2006
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| Posted:
Jun 10, 2006 - 17:35 |
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NEWS + VIEWS (if somewhat skewed) OF THE
SYLVANIA LEAGUE of BLOOD BOWL
Proudly bought to you by SOUTHERN BOTTLEGAMERS
("If your blood's worth bottling, let us bottle it for you!")
Series i/ Edition iii
The third (and inaugural split round) of the SLoBB continued the impressive rate of growth and excitement started off in Rounds 1 & 2. The cunning ploy of Commissioner Morgrim to hold a split round certainly got tongues wagging like Werewolves on a very hot day, even if most of the comments were along the lines of:
"Where is that darned SLoBB, Morgrim?".
And with participation rates up yet again, it was good to see even more ritual sacrifices putting their hands/ paws/ tentacles up to lay their heads on the bloodstained playing fields and altars of the league.
Yes, it was a week when some significant questions were asked! Such as:
* Have DA KREINIEM KRUSHAZ plateaued out, and will they be able to show their faces around the league after their night of degradation and shame?
* (What the heck was the filling in the Pies sold at half time?)
* Have the ZETETIC ELENCH finally cracked the code to not Losing Very Badly? And what sort of further embarressment will they inflict on the league next round?
* (I know they're cheap, but should the catering contract been given to The Necromancy Bakery? And what do they mean by saying their food is "finger licking, good!"?)
* Will the CHEETAHS orccystrate their way to becoming the #1 side this week in the battle of either two squads of remarkably similar looking Orcstralian femininininahty (or two mobs of blokes in drag who've ate all the pies this week and saved the rest of us from getting fat and turning green around the gills)? Or will the Krushaz simply hide away for second straight meeting?
And of course -
* Wherrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre's Morgy?
The somewhat overdue Commissioner Morgrim (consider the forelock slightly patted) sent a message from his tax haven off the Lustrian coast where he is wisely investing certain charity funds to purchase a very big bridge and an adjacent opera house for the league, and says that he'll definately be with us next week or he'll pull out his old dress, shave those cherubically contoured legs (again) and set up a kissing booth on Morgdale Railway Station (yet again).
(He also asked us to remind all participanties that the Commissioner's Charity for Bunged Blitzers is up and open for donations - remember: "the next dodgy set of kneecaps just might be your's"!)
(And that all donations should consist of unmarked non-sequential notes of current legal tender, deposited in brown paper bags in the usual secretive rendevous spots as per usual, please.)
A quick reminder too then that Season I of the SLoBB will run up to and including Friday 21 July 2006, then - after one of our finely tuned/ battle hardened tactical geni-asses has stomped to inevitable victory in the Eucalyptus Bowl on 22-23 July - the hardcore elimination thrills and spills of the play-offs will be unleashed in
the following weeks to purge the weak, squish the soft, and comprehensively fertilise the playing pitches.
Five - count them: 5 (not you, Marty, we don't have that long to do the arithmatic)) - magnificent games were played over the split round, and what a lot of splitting it produced. Side-splitting, head-splitting - heck, I laughed and cheered so hard I split my girdle, but that's another story for when I get the negatives back.
There was a still more talk of the Norse Sydney Bears and the Hag Ganeth Harlotquins still staying in their respective training gulags somewhere in the frigid north(ern suburbs) until the Bears get another dose of 'medication', but the Harlotquins did briefly show up, and then left in a huff when their sheer presence failed to utterly overcome everybody within three postcodes (typically Elvish gits). And the Travelling von Keef Family Roadshow was regrettably sidetracked by a Chiffon for Men seminar ("If you believe in Fairies, you'll get what you swish for!").
But let's put the gasbagging behind us (a Rotter tactic I learnt some time ago), and talk about the actual games of BLOOD BOWL!
Game 6 of Season i got under way under very ominous signs. You know that when Trolls go off their pre-game finger food (and the catering contractors assured us that it contained "real fingers, and none of this artificial muck - our muck is the genuine article!") that something quite special (and hopefully grisly) was going to happen.
And so it did. In a massive blow to the established orcder of all things green, the Goblins of ZETETIC ELENCH broke their duck (and any other farmyard animals they could catch) and secured a brilliant 2 - 2 victory over the Orc sisterhood of DA KREINIEM KRUSHAZ.
(I bet you're all sitting there and thinking: ole Wallo's gone doolally here - he's sillier than he looks. Well you're wrong - I'm no sillier than I look, and the proof of the pudding is that a bunch of Orcs allowed a mob of Gobline to be their equal. Work that out, Sherlock?)
Ironically, the only reason that Da Kreiniem Krushaz squeaked a draw was that the two Trolls of ZE took quite a liking to the taste of Gobbos and managed to kill three of them in their side's traditionally insane aerial assault (and when you kill 60% of the casualties suffered by your own side, you know that you're just showing off). A Gobbo appeal to the League after the game to have the casualty count amended from 0-5 against to 3-2 for failed on the basis of their previous insufficient support for various sporting charities (see above) (no no no - above that bit).
Coach Blotta Paypa of the Zetetic Elench stated in his post-game press conference (he was being pressed by several thousand ecstatic Groanskin fans at the time) that he wasn't sure of the playing future of his squad, and that if there is a next time Ripper Bolgrot sure as Nuffle will be calling the plays for the offence from the line of scrimmage. And that he hoped that Ripper's discussion with him concerning this matter wouldn't leave any permanent scarring this time.
Concerned at what may be perceived as signs of weakness, Coach Haksptkof of DA KREINIEM KRUSHAZ rushed her team straight in to the second game of the double - header (and a BIG "hello - hello" to all our Tasmanian fans) against the supposedly soft & devout pessimystics of our latest sacrific ... errrrrrm ... member club, the (Human) ALTDORF ANNIHILATED. And for almost all of the game, it looked like normal service had been resumed.
The #1 ranked team in the league got their high octane offence working and barged in 2 solid TDs, and took down 2 humies for no loss again (so that on the Carnage side of things, their 14-0 collective casualty ratio is simply amazing). But then it all fell apart. A consolation TD was scored, and then the Annihilated symply refused to be just that, and using moves learned during his time with the Sylvania Boy's Ballet and Pole Dancing Appreciation Association their catcher Attilla Hessephatt dodged successfully three times during the very last play of the game en route to scoring the tying TD and really messing up the Orcettes' post game party!
After the game, the coach of Da Kreiniem Krushaz was absolutely distraught. "It was Horrible out there", she wailed, "we were ripped off. They assured us that the false eyelashes our Blitzers were using tonight were self adhesive, but we had to reattach them ourselves at half time. And we thought that using Zap would make them run faster!"
The coach of the Altdorf Annihilated responded to a question concerning his first impressions of the league by saying: "Well, it's hard for me to say ....", at which point the parasites of the Press figured that there was no point embarressing somebody with a speech impediment, and if he couldn't say it we could make it up later after racing the other journos to the freebie feeds (and what WAS in those pies!)
Feeling cocky after surviving a rumble with the #1 ranked team, the ALTDORF ANNIHILATED rolled up on the back half of the split round for a Game 8 meeting of minds (and bashing of skulls) with the #2 ranked 'other' Orcs of the CHEETAHS.
It was to be a very melodic match, and the rhythmic chants of the fans (and coaching staff) rang throughout the otherwise dead quiet streets of Sylvania Heights. Certainly, even the dead (be they Reapers or Cadavaliers) are now quietly singing that great Annihilated anthem - The F#&< Song - in our crypts. So let's all join in (and Singalong with Stevo):
"F#&< F#&< F#&< F#&< F#&< F#&< F#&< F#&<
(half time break)
F#&< F#&< F#&< F#&< F#&< F#&< F#&< F#&<"
Not to be outdone, the Cheetahs' staff and fans responded with their own ditty about a hirsute young feline (The Fur Kit Song), but it was really just so much derivative rubbish and will never chart in its own right (even if sampling does hit the SLoBB?). And in the midst of all this music and merriment, a game of Blood Bowl broke out.
In the end, the Cheetahs won 2 - 0, with both sides causing a casualty and bringing about the demise of the Blood Bowl musical cabaret playbook. As well as their musical plagiarism, the Cheetahs even had the temerity to attempt to emulate the excellent art of the Reikland Reapers by causing their own casualty with a double skull roll to start the game, but with the Reapers even then entering the building we true believers all knew that there is no substitute for true incompetence.
The Cheetahs' coach issued a long and detailed press statement after the game, but as his mouth was full and Orcish at best is just a long stream of slightly varying monosyllabic grunts, we can all imagine what THAT sounded like, eh? (If not, try a laxative - indeed, try several - for instant relief, and a full replay of the Cheetah's take on this game).
The coach of the Altdorf Annihilated responded to a question concerning his first impressions of the league's top two sides by saying: "Well, it's hard for me to say ....", at which point the parasites of the Press figured that there was no point embarressing somebody with a speech impediment, and if he couldn't say it we could make it up later after racing the other journos to the freebie feeds (and who WAS in those pies!)
Those wiser heads than mine in the game (and funnily enough, they're both on the same set of shoulders these days) surmise that the demise of Da Kreiniem Krushaz may be down to the diet-busting aftermath of their Game 5 'Marshmellow Bowl' debacle against the IRONBEARD MAULERS. So it was with considerable trepidation - and an intimate familiarity with various members of the half-time pie plates - that the #3 ranked CLEAVEDLAND CADAVALIERS entered their clash with the #8 ranked Dwarfs. The Cadavaliers especially wanted to retain their position as the primary Nacromantic squad of the SLoBB.
And their fears were soon realised, as for the second straight week a rock thrown by a fan at the opening kick-off creamed one of their pumpkin headed Wights, and what followed was a Dwarf team clearly lacking dietary fibre paying out so much on Bart Arnott & Jerry Dale that both Wights spent almost all game vegetating on the sidelines.
Meanwhile, the sheer speed of the Cadavaliers' Werewolf duo of Lew Pyne and Lou Garou ensured that the dour dwarves would suffer a dog of a game as they hounded the hirsute and horizontally challenged defence into conceding a pair of TDs. Only at the very end of the game did the Stunties threw away any pretense of logic, and scored a magnificent passing TD which broke a few principles of aerodynamics and several statistical models, but for the second Cleavedland game in succession it was all a case of too little too late.
Coach Muddy said after the Cadavaliers' 2 - 1 triumph (albeit with a 2 - 3 disadvantage in casualties) that the victory had been the deserved result for some brilliant tactical decisions, visionary motivational
programmes ("Do it or you're dead")("er") and bold player rotation
policies (ie, having the Maurauders' elites smacked so much that they had to be rotated to the sick bay).
(Late Amendment: I've just checked my notes, and I must apologise for the slight error of that quote above: it was actually Coach Darby Yurr of the Cadavaliers who attributed the win to "some brilliant tactical
decisions etc etc etc.")
(Sorry.)
What Coach Muddy actually said was that although it made a bit of a difference to play a side that wasn't intent in nailing their beards down to the pitch and painting advertising signage on their sporrans, they'd assumed that the dogs who kept nicking the balls were a couple of stray mutts and it wasnae fair that unlicensed and obviously not house trained pets should be allowed to bugger up a perfectly gude 1-0 scoreline.
Then came Game 10, and we all were wondering how the Master of Disaster - Coach Z - would respond to the challenge to his unique (and some would add: he's welcome to it) reputation for implosion under the threat from Coach Truk's Cheetahs. Why were we worrying? This was Z - The (almost) Human Highlight Film of the SLoBB!!!
Showing that his opening night Turn 1 implosion of a Flesh Golem, and his second night/ Turn 1 sacrifice of a Werewolf were no flukes, the last game of the night opened with a whimper when, in his opening moves at the bottom of the first turn of The Last Game of The Third Round of the new season, one of Zoran's Werewolves proved that it takes a special genius to be taken out of a game that early by a Human Catcher.
Let me re-emphasise that.
A Human catcher (meek meek meek/ whimper whimper whimper) turned a Werewolf (grrr grrr grr/ slash slash slash) into footy franks.
And obviously thinking that their game plan was spelled out on the club badges on the shirts of their opponents - the ALTDORF ANNIHILATED - Z's REIKLAND REAPERS' game went rapidly downhill from there. By half time, the Reapers were down 4 - 0 on the scoreline, and had both Werewolves, a Flesh Golem and a Zombie off for the Big Sleep (while a knocked out Wight kept playing possum in the Knocked Out part of the Reikland Morgue and Spa).
And even though it was a much improved second half - both sides added another TD (the Deads scoring a stunning passing consolation TD for the second straight game) and the Reapers only lost one more casualty (a Zombie, who Regenerated), it was a night where Coach Z's unique genius shone forth. Or was that 5th?
Coach Z said after the game that although the loss was deeply upsetting, the catering was excellent (and the Hot Dogs were the freshest he'd ever tasted - as good as the previous week's!), and that he couldn't complain as his blokes had left their hearts and guts out there on the playing field. And that as soon as somebody could find another big enough bucket to go out there and collect them and then sort them all out, he'd have those very hearts and guts sewn straight back in to their original owners in time for the Reapers' Week 4 match. And that this time he'd personally make sure that they were put in the correct bodies!
The coach of the Altdorf Annihilated responded to a question concerning his thoughts on his team breaking the SLoBB record for TDs scored in a game (5)/ equalling the record for TDs in a game (6, with the Kreiniem Krushaz v Vampa Bay BiterNears Game 2)/ & equalling the record for casualties (6, the Kreiniem Krushaz v the BiterNears again) by saying: "Well, it's hard for me to say ....", at which point the parasites of the Press figured that there was no point embarressing somebody with a speech impediment, and if he couldn't say it we could make it up later after racing the other journos to the freebie feeds (and does a pie trying to crawl its way back up your throat mean it's possibly TOO fresh?)
So, after 3 hyperventilating (although obviously not any longer for our Necromantic or Victorian fans) rounds of uninhibited violence (let's all just still ignore Game 5, can we?) occasionally punctuated by somebody remembering to do something with the actual football (other than in Game 5), the Championship Table for Season I of SLoBB currently appears thusly:
Ranked #1- Da Kreiniem Krushaz (Orc): 2W/ 2D/ 0L - 7 tds for/ 5 ag
[3rd week] - 14 cas for/ 0 ag.
#2- Cheetahs (Orc): 2W/ 0D/ 0L - 5 tds for/ 1 ag
- 4 cas for/ 2 ag.
#3- Cleavedland Cadavaliers (Nacromantic): 2W/ 0D/ 0L- 4 tds for/ 2 ag
- 6 cas for/ 5 ag.
#4- Altdorf Annihilated (Human): 1 W/ 1 D/ 1 L - 7 tds for/ 5 ag
- 7 cas for/ 3 ag.
#5- Reikland Reapers (Necromantic): 1W/ 0D/ 2L - 5 tds for/ 8 ag
- 7 cas for/ 11 ag.
#6- Zetetic Elench (Goblins): 0 W/ 1 D/ 1 L - 3 td for/ 4 ag
- 1 cas for/ 10 ag.
#7- Ironbeard Maurauders (Dwarf): 0W/ 0D/ 2L - 1 tds for/ 3 ag
- 3 cas for / 2 ag.
#8- Da Blak Deth (Orc): 0W/ 0D/ 1L - 1 td for/ 3 ag
- 2 cas for/ 3 ag.
#9- Vampa Bay BiterNears (Vampire): 0 W/ 0 D/ 1 L - 1 td for/ 2 ag
- 0 cas for/ 6 ag.
So remember: all's fair in love and Blood Bowl, unless she allows you to bring those nice cheerleaders you met on the train to your next games night without telling them about your Beast of Nurgle.
This is Cub Reporter - WALLO VUDU - signing off.
\/
/\
(W. Vudu - his mark)
*Please note that the author of this piece is not a qualified medical practitioner - he gets hairy and howls at full moons, if you catch my drift - and that any medical advice given in this artycackle should be
comprehensively ignored. Please consult your vet instead.
*Please also note that no animals were harmed at all in the making of
this edition of THE SUNDAY SLoBBa. The ingrates keep running away. |
_________________
Never moon a Werewolf! |
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Longshanks
Joined: Feb 02, 2005
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| Posted:
Jun 15, 2006 - 01:56 |
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Will there be a Twahnlows award dinner this year? I'm still anxiously waiting to see if I won anything !  (silver twahnlows that is). |
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Longshanks
Joined: Feb 02, 2005
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| Posted:
Jun 17, 2006 - 22:57 |
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For those interested in spec'ing. The first Pro-bowl Conference match - Corporate Fraudsters vs Manic Mammalins - will be this Thursday (22nd) at 8:30pm AEST.
All welcome |
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Rabid_Bogscum
Joined: Aug 04, 2005
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| Posted:
Jun 22, 2006 - 00:20 |
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all the best both of you.... just a quick check in from smelly rotorua |
_________________
Commissioner of the Sydney League of Blood Bowl (SLOBB)
Eucalyptus Bowl 2020
Australia's Premier Resurrection Blood Bowl Tournament
Proud Member of the SWL |
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Patrician
Joined: Sep 14, 2005
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| Posted:
Jun 22, 2006 - 00:57 |
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Gents, just an out of character update that votes for the Fluff Twanlow are almost unanimously pointing to the winner, and I sincerely doubt things will change.
It'd be a grave insult for me to not announce the winner in character on Channel BB, but I don't have the time at this stage.
I'll see how things go during my lunch break.  Stay tuned! |
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Rabid_Bogscum
Joined: Aug 04, 2005
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| Posted:
Jun 24, 2006 - 02:07 |
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I know youve been busy with binge etc... but gratz to longshanks and shatterstar for getting their triseries game played. Could both these coaches and any specs please pm me votes for the crystal slipper of gone. see channel bb forum for more info |
_________________
Commissioner of the Sydney League of Blood Bowl (SLOBB)
Eucalyptus Bowl 2020
Australia's Premier Resurrection Blood Bowl Tournament
Proud Member of the SWL |
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Rabid_Bogscum
Joined: Aug 04, 2005
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| Posted:
Jul 07, 2006 - 09:37 |
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question... were there any specs for the first game? |
_________________
Commissioner of the Sydney League of Blood Bowl (SLOBB)
Eucalyptus Bowl 2020
Australia's Premier Resurrection Blood Bowl Tournament
Proud Member of the SWL |
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OldBugman
Joined: May 05, 2005
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| Posted:
Jul 07, 2006 - 09:47 |
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I specced part of it
cant recall it though |
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ArtaXerxes
Joined: Jun 01, 2005
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Jul 07, 2006 - 10:09 |
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I was a spec.... seems a lifetime ago though. |
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Rabid_Bogscum
Joined: Aug 04, 2005
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| Posted:
Aug 18, 2006 - 00:09 |
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Daemonette Nightshade added to Twahnlow table as the silver twahnlow winner
http://swl.kicks-ass.org/swl/Season14 |
_________________
Commissioner of the Sydney League of Blood Bowl (SLOBB)
Eucalyptus Bowl 2020
Australia's Premier Resurrection Blood Bowl Tournament
Proud Member of the SWL |
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