Mark your calendars, folks!
3 February, 2026, 21h server time
JackassRampant's 3000th FUMBBL Match!
Come see two big old Ranked teams go head-to-head,
as coach JackassRampant's
take on grrrreindeer's
* assuming all MNGs cleared without incident or skill-up, so it may vary. It's 2160 if he can't find a game.
in my 3000th FUMBBL Match (counting teaching games, builders, and a couple click-throughs).
We will be holding a
special fundraiser event for the site: pledge and contribute through the button above. Pledges are due by 3 March, but a) get them in as soon as you can after the game, and b) if you need an extension, here it is.
Definitions and Rules:
A "gold crown" is worth what you say it is. I'm giving a USD, you might like Euro, Pounds, CAD, AUD, or whatever floats your landmass. (Well, it's the other way around, but that's less poetic.)
Give half if you're poor and stingy, double if you're neither, whatever. Just tell me what a gold crown is worth for you, and in what currency, so we have a pledge amount.
Pledgers will be public unless they ask to be kept private for some reason, but the value of any given coach's crown is between me and them: y'all get to see the total pledge at the end. If you wanna be nosy, it's usually a unit of the local currency. That's what I'm doing ($1 per crown), by the way. Some are doing more, but as the old rhyme says, "if you haven't got a penny, a half-penny will do." Just ping me the amount in a PM. Also let me know if you want to remain anonymous.
This is a competitive Ranked match, all Ranked rules apply. If one of us wants to shoot for a garbage pass in safe time or something, okay, but winning is Job One, and we have no idea what we'll raise. It'll be between 5 and 20 crowns per pledge: if we had it to do over again in infinite recursion, I'm stabbing at like 9 crowns as a median and 10 as a mean, but that's an educated guess.
The Pledge
Base pledge: 3 gold crowns.
You're in it, you're in it, no sense giving one crown.
Each team held scoreless: 1 gold crown.
Every Touchdown: 1 gold crown.
Every Interception: 1 gold crown.
Every 2 Casualties or Completions: 1 gold crown.
Casualties suffered count toward this total, even if they don't appear in the stats. It's easy to check the bins.
Completions only count if they're worth SPP: doing otherwise would be too much work.
Each 50k (round up) in total players killed or maimed (niggle or statloss): 1 gold crown.
Ostensibly this goes to the families, but we all know it will be cannibalized for the next hardware upgrade.
Each player injured (stunned/worse) by the crowd: 1 gold crown.
This includes Pitch Invasion and Throw A Rock events, as well as players pushed into the crowd. If the player suffers a Casualty, this is on top of anything else.
If the Ranked Amateurs pull off a pitch clear: +5 gold crowns.
It would be our 19th pitch clear.
If the Cokenhagen Lizzzzrds get a Saurus TD or a Saurus Completion in a scoring drive: +3 gold crowns each.
The "Saurus Scorus" is coming back, might as well cheer for it.
MAX 20 CROWNS. It's unlikely to approach that, but if we get pitch clears and Saurus Scoruses, the sky could be the limit, except that the limit is 20. The mathematical minimum is 5. If you want to adjust your crown size up or down accordingly, cool, just PM me so I can factor it into the aggregate.
Right now, we have ten pledgers for 15.5 (dollars/Euros/pounds) per crown scored (so 77.50 to 310 rl currency units) and would like to see number go up:
grrrreindeer
JackassRampant
Klazam
Koadah
Lorebass
Morehouse
PatKnez
quix
Rijssiej
Xelron
Come, join us!
Side Note: if you can get grrrreindeer a recovery game, that would be awesome. If you can beat up the lizards, that would be hilarious and awesome both.
