Falesh
Joined: Aug 02, 2003
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 Posted:
Apr 17, 2008 - 22:49 |
 
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I've just finished watching Eureka Seven and it may have made me re-think my life. The reason for this is it's love story which made me truly cry for the first time in at least 10 years. I have lots of love in my life, my parents, brother and sister in law and their kids, but I don't have a partners love.
For one reason or another I have never had full time girlfriend. During primary school I had a very bad time as the head teacher did not believe in Dyslexia, which I have, this lead to school phobia and at it's worst migraines and panic attacks. With nothing else working my mother took me out of school and home educated me. This restored me to the point at 14 years old I could honestly say I had no baggage left over from the experience. When I was 16 I went to tech collage which could have been a good chance to hook up with someone but during that year I gradually became ill with M.E. (chronic fatigue) which soon left me pretty much house bound.
During the 12 years since then not a great deal has happened to me, with the exception of gaining the energy to study again in 2006 which let me in to the wonderful world of programming. This isn't a gloomy past though, I consider myself to be extremely lucky. By having plenty of time to really think about things it's hard not to see that life is truly wonderful. Just being able to talk, read, feel emotions, etc. is an extraordinary joy. If I was given the choice to change anything in my life, even if that would mean me not getting M.E., I would not do it as I am in part the product of my past experiences and I like who I am.
One thing I haven't been doing in the years since I fell ill is looking for love. Have I been waiting to get better, or intellectualizing how difficult a relationship would be in my current condition? At 27 years old maybe I have been a fool, maybe it is time I started to look for love. Or am I just looking through the rose tinted glasses of a fantasy story written to provoke these emotions? And maybe I should find a forum with a higher percentage of girls to bear my soul on.  |
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Shrap
Joined: Sep 18, 2006
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Apr 18, 2008 - 08:39 |
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I suggest picking up bar sluts (preferably really drunk ones)at first then after you lose the performance anxiety find a relaxing pastime that you can mingle while doing it...maybe a card game of some type. I suppose I have really no idea how debilitating your M.E is but if it's so bad you can't get to a bar, "hire" someone if you know what I mean... It's not that exspensive and it's right on Craigslist they come to your place or you can go to thiers!
Rent the 40 year old virgin if you haven't seen it yet.
My 2 cents. |
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Colin
Joined: Aug 02, 2003
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Apr 18, 2008 - 13:43 |
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| Falesh wrote: | | And maybe I should find a forum with a <snip> percentage of girls to bear my soul on. |
Fixed.
Shrap, I don't think getting his leg over is the motivation.
He's saying all the right things, just maybe to the wrong audience. PM sent (with my thoughts, not a proposal...) |
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SillySod
Joined: Oct 10, 2006
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Apr 18, 2008 - 15:19 |
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Speak to BiggieB. |
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Putting the "eh?" back into Sexeh.
"There are those to whom knowledge is a shield. There are those to whom it is a weapon. Neither view is balanced." |
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Falesh
Joined: Aug 02, 2003
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Apr 18, 2008 - 17:01 |
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Thanks for the responses and PM's. 
| Quote: | | Shrap, I don't think getting his leg over is the motivation. |
Aye, tis love I am thinking of not a giving someone some lovin'. Also it's not that I have trouble communicating with the fairer sex, it's just that I haven't gone in search of this contact.
I received a PM with a comment that hit the nail on the head about one other reason I haven't been looking for a partner. This being that I didn't think it was fair of me to make a girl I love be hooked up with someone who can't work or go out much (or at all if it requires a long walk from a car). But as it was pointed out love doesn't work like that.
It's funny, after more then a decade of what I thought was truthful introspection it can still turn out that I've made a boneheaded mistake.  |
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Macavity
Joined: Nov 23, 2004
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Apr 20, 2008 - 17:52 |
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Yeah, that PM was right! As a survivor of a divorce, and happy participant in a successful marriage, it is a fact: You do not get to decide whether loving you is worth it. As my pet psychiatrist said when I whined to him about how my girlfriend (now wife) just didn't understand some of the things she should have problems with, "Maybe, Mac, if she says it doesn't bother her.... It's because it DOESN'T". Get on out there and meet someone, don't expect too much right off, but you could be pleasantly surprised in ways you can't imagine now.
P.S. Yay for guys who cry at movies! Juno got me pretty bad a few days ago. |
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When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up. -C.S. Lewis |
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Shrap
Joined: Sep 18, 2006
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Apr 21, 2008 - 08:04 |
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you'de be surprised at the power of random anonymous sex but whatever....
Ppl like a person with a glow!
*WINK* |
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howlett
Joined: Mar 21, 2007
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May 22, 2008 - 14:12 |
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/ironic "Don't let emotions or reality reach your mind. Finish the LRB5 client."
hehe |
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harvestmouse
Joined: May 13, 2007
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May 22, 2008 - 15:14 |
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I suggest, and this does work for confidence after a few knockbacks. Is talking to girls in uncontrolled situations (i.e. in McDonalds or a bus stop) without the intention of picking up. Just polite conversation, this helps wonders with esteem and confidence.
Always after difficult periods of several knockbacks, I use this training technique to get me back into full pulling fitness. |
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