DrPoods
Joined: Nov 14, 2013
|
  Posted:
Jul 11, 2017 - 17:23 |
|
Greetings all and welcome to your special presentation.
As we move into the last few matches of the season I was interested (as I am sure many of you are) about the stats. Who lead the league in CAS? Who threw their weight around? Who ruled the skies?
Anyways, I found what I was looking for and thanks to the wonders of internet witchcraft, here are your NBFL Season 18 Regular Season leaders.
The Iron Glove Award - Most Casualties
#.....Player...........................................Team...................................CAS.......Blocks
1 - J. Anderson (XVI/10, TCU)............Denvork Bronkorks................19.........123
2 - Acker..............................................Lost Angels of the NBFL.......15..........100
3 - Choto Klecko [MIA]........................New York Wrecks..................15.........136
4 - Charles Monson.............................Minnesota High Kings............14.........149
5 - J'se V'ld'z #66 (G)..........................Atlatl 'n' Falchions.................13..........87
6 - Mike "The Strong Man"
Pollak [FL]............................................Cincinatti Bludgeoners...........13..........116
7 - A'uhtze'an Kelce.............................Lustriadelphia Pterosaurs.....12..........114
8 - Ryan Fitzofstone Buffalo [BUF}......New Bloodland Patriots.........12..........121
9 - Charles Folger [TENN]...................Jacksonville Pactuars.............11..........79
10 - Bud Gastineau [ARK]....................New York Wrecks..................11...........86
J.Anderson of the Denvork Bronkorks is the clear winner. Sheer brutality people! A lean, mean, green, CAS-ing machine!
Next Up? Most Blocks! |
_________________ "Gallifrey falls no more"
Do your part! Join the Adoption Agency NOW!
Last edited by DrPoods on %b %11, %2017 - %17:%Jul; edited 2 times in total |
|
JackassRampant
Joined: Feb 26, 2011
|
  Posted:
Jul 11, 2017 - 17:33 |
|
Badass. Waaaaaaaaaagh! |
_________________ Lude enixe, obliviscatur timor. |
|
DrPoods
Joined: Nov 14, 2013
|
  Posted:
Jul 11, 2017 - 17:36 |
|
The Fists of Fury Award - Most Blocks
#......Player...............................................Team.................................Blocks......Turns
1 - Charles Monson..................................Minnesota High Kings.........149..........201
2 - Choto Klecko [MIA].............................New York Wrecks................136.........188
3 - Gohl-Dee (MIHN)................................Indianapolis Crypts..............126..........198
4 - J.D. Hinnant........................................Seattle Werehawks..............123.........180
5 - J. Anderson (XVI/10, TCU).................Denvork Bronkorks..............123..........194
6 - Ryan Fitzofstone Buffalo [BUF]...........New Bloodland Patriots.......121..........185
7 - B. Maxwell [Clan Torxas]....................Waaaghrizona Carnivorcs.....119..........210
8 - Xenexchuk Logan...............................Lustriadelphia Pterosaurs.....116..........212
9 - Mike "The Strong Man" Pollak [FL].....Cincinatti Bludgeoners.........116..........215
10 - Charlie two-bar Krueger....................San Foulcisco 69'ers............115..........208
Congratulations to Charles Monson of the Minnesota High Kings. A High Elf? Really? Number don't lie people and the old warhorse used his beaten up body to make his presence known. More nuts and bolts in him than a hardware store but he made it count! |
_________________ "Gallifrey falls no more"
Do your part! Join the Adoption Agency NOW! |
|
DrPoods
Joined: Nov 14, 2013
|
  Posted:
Jul 12, 2017 - 02:21 |
|
The Golden Arm Award - Most Completions
#...Player.........................................Team.....................................Completions.........Yards Passed
1 - Spike Glennon II......................Tampa Bowl Smokeaneers.............19.........................48
2 - Justin "Lucky Ducker" Zipp......Oakland Elf Raiders........................17.......................103
3 - Ndamukong Suh.......................Miami Dark Fins.............................15........................58
4 - Jaym MacMain.........................Da'Kawgo Kodiaks.........................15.........................26
5 - Otto "Moxon" Graham [NIB].....Cleveland Pansy Dawgs................13.........................35
6 - Heath Shuler............................Weaklington Frailskins....................12.........................83
7 - Ryan Tannihill...........................Miami Dark Fins..............................12.........................2
8 - Antonio Brown II.......................Blitzburgh Seers.............................10........................17
9 - Carson Palmer [Arizona]..........Miami Dark Fins...............................9..........................16
10 - Rodney Peete........................Carolina Black Panther Party............8.........................42
Spike Glennon II of the Tampa Bay Smokeaneers gets the gong this season. Although, as fans of big time Air Coryell action, we can't help but feel that the "chuck and duck" Smokeaneers passer was somewhat eclipsed by the glory of Justin Zipp's 103 passing yards.
Congrats to Spike!
Next up: We get to see the Lucky Ducker get his! |
_________________ "Gallifrey falls no more"
Do your part! Join the Adoption Agency NOW! |
|
DrPoods
Joined: Nov 14, 2013
|
  Posted:
Jul 12, 2017 - 02:41 |
|
The Memorial Justin Zipp Air It Out Award
#...Player........................................Team...........................................Passing.....Completions
1 - Justin "Lucky Ducker" Zipp......Oakland Elf Raiders.......................103.................17
2 - Heath Shuler............................Weaklington Frailskins....................83.................12
3 - Ndamukong Suh.......................Miami Dark Fins.............................58..................15
4 - Spike Glennon II........................Tampa Bowl Smokeaneers............48..................19
5 - Rodney Peete...........................Carolina Black Panther Party..........42..................8
6 - Otto "Moxon" Graham [NIB].....Cleveland Pansy Dawgs.................35..................13
7 - Chris Growlkowski....................San Dogo Chompers......................32..................3
8 - Kevin Williams..........................Seattle Werehawks.........................27...................3
9 - Broadway Joe Bryant [HAW]....New York Wrecks...........................26...................5
10 - C. Palmer...............................Waaaghrizona Carnivorcs...............26...................8
Not so "lucky" after all. A posthumous award for the Raiders QB, Justin "Lucky Ducker" Zipp. Aired it out in true style and died in glory. Now that's what passing numbers should look like! |
_________________ "Gallifrey falls no more"
Do your part! Join the Adoption Agency NOW!
Last edited by DrPoods on %b %12, %2017 - %03:%Jul; edited 1 time in total |
|
DrPoods
Joined: Nov 14, 2013
|
  Posted:
Jul 12, 2017 - 02:58 |
|
The Memorial "Honey Badger" All The Balls Award - Most Touchdowns
#......Player......................................................Team.....................................Touchdowns..........Turns
1 - Rhys Llyod [MIN].....................................Tampa Bowl Smokeaneers..............16....................110
2 - Toady Nelson..........................................Green Ball Attackers........................15...................178
3 - John "Brazilliam Merganser" Storm [O]...Malice Cow-Boys.............................14....................131
4 - Helen "Honey Badger" Imaman [WISC]...San Dogo Chompers.......................14...................173
5 - Teresa "Aladdin Sane" Gervase SL..........San Foulcisco 69'ers.......................12....................183
6 - J. Fonoti (XVIII/15, Hawaii).......................Denvork Bronkorks.........................12....................210
7 - Brandon Hill [Bama].................................Blitzburgh Seers..............................11....................171
8 - JJ Keels [VAMP]......................................Lost Angels of the NBFL..................11....................183
9 - Joss "No Loss" Tillard..............................Blitzburgh Seers..............................10....................115
10 - Hendrik "Hi-C" Scott..............................Minnesota High Kings......................10....................195
Congratulations to Rhys Llyod (parents can be so cruel) of the Tampa Bay Smokeaneers who ran in a bucketload of TDs this season. God, how we hate him. |
_________________ "Gallifrey falls no more"
Do your part! Join the Adoption Agency NOW! |
|
ex-convict
Joined: Jun 28, 2005
|
  Posted:
Jul 12, 2017 - 03:48 |
|
DrPoods wrote: |
The Memorial Justin Zipp Air It Out Award
#...Player........................................Team...........................................Passing.....Completions
1 - Justin "Lucky Ducker" Zipp......Oakland Elf Raiders.......................103.................17
... Now that's what passing numbers should look like! |
All you passing-elf teams should be ashamed that a runner beat you. Just throw baby. |
_________________ Part of the NCBB and the NBFL.
Don't drop the soap. |
|
robocoyote
Joined: Oct 19, 2010
|
  Posted:
Jul 12, 2017 - 05:22 |
|
and the discord chat talked poods into naming the award after Zipp haha |
|
|
ex-convict
Joined: Jun 28, 2005
|
  Posted:
Jul 12, 2017 - 06:02 |
|
Shouldn't it be the 'Let It Zipp Award'? Sounds better |
_________________ Part of the NCBB and the NBFL.
Don't drop the soap. |
|
DrPoods
Joined: Nov 14, 2013
|
  Posted:
Jul 12, 2017 - 06:06 |
|
ex-convict wrote: | Shouldn't it be the 'Let It Zipp Award'? Sounds better |
No, my good man, it does not. |
_________________ "Gallifrey falls no more"
Do your part! Join the Adoption Agency NOW! |
|
DrPoods
Joined: Nov 14, 2013
|
  Posted:
Jul 13, 2017 - 02:32 |
|
The Rolling Stone Rushing Award
#......Player.....................................................Team.................................Yards....Turns
1 - Broadway Joe Bryant [HAW]....................New York Wrecks..............322........201
2 - J. Fonoti (XVIII/15, Hawaii).......................Denvork Bronkorks............320.......210
3 - Kevin Williams..........................................Seattle Werehawks............307........223
4 - Hendrik "Hi-C" Scott.................................Minnesota High Kings........278........195
5 - Terry 'Avenger' Clemson[CLEM]...............New Bloodland Patriots.....274........212
6 - Helen "Honey Badger" Imaman [WISC]....San Dogo Chompers........255........173
7 - Joss "No Loss" Tillard...............................Blitzburgh Seers................248.........115
8 - John "Brazilliam Merganser" Storm [O]....Malice Cow-Boys...............242........131
9 - Goff...........................................................Lost Angels of the NBFL....237........175
10 - Barry "Summerfest" Leegle [WISC]........Cincinatti Bludgeoners.......237........215
"Broadway Joe is my entire offense" says Coach Robo. You ain't wrong, mate.
An excellent season by the (allegedly) 'roided up Beastman who rumbled his team to the top of the AFCE and into the playoffs. |
_________________ "Gallifrey falls no more"
Do your part! Join the Adoption Agency NOW! |
|
DrPoods
Joined: Nov 14, 2013
|
  Posted:
Jul 13, 2017 - 02:56 |
|
Moving on to (perhaps) the most popular award of this awards season. It's the hotly contested...
The Jeffro's Posterior Pounding Award - Most Fouls
#......Player.......................................Team........................................Fouls....Turns
1 - Brian Coulter.............................Tennesse Titanz..........................41..........74
2 - J. Crick......................................Denvork Bronkorks.....................37.........135
3 - Braxton "The Serial" Killer.........Houstovania Wolfens..................37.........146
4 - Josh Mauga...............................Keg City Brew Chiefs.................35.........102
5 - R. Nkemdiche............................Waaaghrizona Carnivorcs..........34.........102
6 - D'mnic D'vis #4 (QB).................Atlatl 'n' Falchions.......................31..........51
7 - Jacquies Spliff II.......................Tampa Bowl Smokeaneers..........30.........103
8 - Chase Cuffthem........................Indianapolis Crypts.....................28..........85
9 - V. Walker...................................Denvork Bronkorks.....................24..........84
10 - Quinn.......................................Lost Angels of the NBFL............23..........64
Gobbos, man. Filthy, little bastards with wicked hobnailed boots. Don'tcha just love 'em?
Congratulations to Brian Coulter of the Tennessee Titanz. A shining light in a struggling season for the big Greenskins. |
_________________ "Gallifrey falls no more"
Do your part! Join the Adoption Agency NOW! |
|
JackassRampant
Joined: Feb 26, 2011
|
  Posted:
Jul 13, 2017 - 02:58 |
|
Coulter may lead the volume stats. But Crick killed Helen the Honey Badger. |
_________________ Lude enixe, obliviscatur timor. |
|
Antithesisoftime
Joined: Aug 20, 2014
|
  Posted:
Jul 13, 2017 - 03:02 |
|
And Braxton changed a lot of seasons with his contributions |
|
|
DrPoods
Joined: Nov 14, 2013
|
  Posted:
Jul 13, 2017 - 03:39 |
|
All I am hearing here is a request for me to call a Waambulance. |
_________________ "Gallifrey falls no more"
Do your part! Join the Adoption Agency NOW! |
|
|