Grotty Little Newspaper

Hello, and welcome to the sixteenth Grotty Little Newspaper!

We have a bumper issue full of good stuff for you! The bulk of our content this time is tactics based; we are lucky to have secured the thoughts of some premier coaches on a variety of subjects. I think everyone can learn something from the pages within, and if not, each article should be a great conversation starter on your next trip to the forum. Outside of the tactics talk, we have some great ‘how to’s helping you to enhance your FUMBBL experience, abstract thoughts, site views, and a focus on two great [L] groups: GRIND and the White Isle League. As ever with the GLN, there is the usual madness, look out for The_Great_Gobbo and his unique way of looking at things.

Whilst GLN 16 taking on the unofficial moniker of ‘Der Tactics Wun’ during development happened entirely by accident, I’m delighted that we are passing a magnifying glass over this oft overlooked and important area of our game. The Internet is often a patchwork of information, both good and bad, and that’s never true so much as it is in Blood Bowl. A newcomer to either this site or BB in general has a handful of options to read on what bit goes where, and I’m happy we’ve added some quality stuff to that library.

It’s been an honour to edit an issue of this fine publication, but in reality I’ve done only a small percentage of the work myself. Each and every voluntary contributor has put their own precious spare time and effort into cracking articles for your enjoyment, so please join me in thanking them for their work. We’re always looking for fresh meat here at GLN towers, so if you have an idea for GLN 17, hassle me until my hangover clears, and get stuck in!

A special mention of thanks to Kam. Our previous editor does all of the fancy coding stuff that a luddite like me can’t get close to. It’s a wonder I can open a laptop, let alone make this look as it does. When he’s done with a lie down, clap him on the back next time you see him.

Anyway! Enough rambling from me. Bugger off and read some better stuff. Starting on page 3. Enjoy!

Purplegoo (da Editor).

In February 2013 I decided to Google ‘free online Blood Bowl’. It brought me here. Little did I know that within a short space of time I would be thrown into an addictive world of online gaming. I played TT for a good while back in the day but the rules had changed and there were more teams, etc.

I took my first game without reading any of the rules to begin with. Cancelling out of my first game without really understanding the consequences, I guess the vets on the site will 'get' the more limited understanding of n00bs! My first games were abysmal, absolutely dreadful. I stuck with it as I enjoyed it.

One thing lead to another and I was playing lots of matches daily, sometimes to the detriment of my personal life and relationships. This continued for some time. I joined leagues, I stayed clear of Box (there was a lot of hype about it at the time), I picked and was picked. It began to take over a little. Developing team rosters at work became a normal habit.

This continued to the extent that I had played over 1000 games in just over a year.

Recently, I have stepped back. I wanted to give back to the community that made me feel welcome and improved my play. Hence contributing to the GLN, making logos for people, trying to come up with a symbol for Pact and Underworld.

I began to develop logos for my teams. Never having used software like GIMP or Inkscape it took time to get my head around it. I am not a computer genius by a long shot, but I got by. I started to get into the fluff of stuff more, too.

Long and short of it is that stepping back and appreciating the community and what it is about really opened my eyes to what we have in front of us. Yes we can play games till our eyes bleed and I am not saying there is anything wrong with that. Man, without that we wouldn't have Brasky or cdassak (no offence Bill and cdassak)!

I spend time speccing now too, watching replays, improving my game. That is the biggest help ever. Watch coaches better than you, learn from them.

I play a lot less now and those games are thought about (mostly). I even made it to the final of a minor, so there is hope for everyone! So I know I have improved. Before when I was streaming through games it turned into point and click. I’d strop about bad dice when in actual fact they were silly risks, etc. Although I never whined too much.

The point of this article?

Take time to take a step back and appreciate what a great free resource we have. Look through the forums, donate, contribute, spectate, blog, create fluff, design logos, start pm threads with coaches you get with, join a league, start a league, set yourself challenges (see Harad for a good example of this). There is so much more to FUMBBL when you start looking.

Much has changed over the 10 years that I have been a member of FUMBBL, but for the purpose of this article, I’ve decided to focus on the biggest change: switching from LRB4 to CRP. I would like look at some of the mathematics behind some of the changes and briefly discuss how that has impacted the game.

Mutation Access

Allowing multiple races to take mutations on single rolls has drastically affected the team-building scheme but also effected how the developers adjusted some key mutation skills.

Claws

This has been well-discussed already but I will just add that reducing armour to a min of 7 has greatly helped low-armour teams; however, it would be nice if it were -2 to a min of 7 so that at least 10 AV players could have some benefit vs. Claws.

Tentacles

In CRP: Roll 2D6, adding strength differential, need a 6+ to escape.
In LRB4: Both coaches roll 1D6 add strength, need tie or better to escape.

Let’s focus on a strength differential of 2 (the most common case, e.g. ST 5 vs. ST 3). In CRP with a 2 ST differential, you need an 8+ to escape (42 %), with a 3 ST differential, you need a 9+ to escape (28 %).

Let’s compare these values to what was required in LRB4 with a 2 ST differential:
If Tent rolls 1, need 3+ (67 %). If Tent rolls 2, need 4+ (50 %). If Tent rolls 3, need 5+ (33 %). If Tent rolls 4, need 6 (17 %). Never successful if Tent rolls 5 or 6... Leading to an overall probability of escape of:
Prob(escape) = 1/6 * [0.67 + 0.5 + 0.33 + 0.17] = 28 %.

Therefore, in CRP as compared to LRB4, Tentacles effectively gives the escaping player +1 ST. This significantly reduces the effectiveness of Tentacles, which I suppose was needed because it is no longer a doubles-only skill. Coaches should bear in mind that Tentacles are not as effective as they once were.

Piling On

This has also been well-investigated so I will keep it brief. In LRB4, it allowed you to RR armour rolls only... In CRP you can RR armour or injury rolls.

LRB4 (Claw+MB+PO vs. 9 AV, always using PO) = 21 %
CRP (Claw+MB+PO vs. 9 AV, always using PO) = 27 %
Practical CRP (Claw+MB+PO vs. 9 AV, only RR stuns) = 21 %

It is interesting to note that if you use PO in a practical sense (i.e., you don’t PO vs. KO and you don’t PO when you haven’t broken armour), the probability of a casualty is comparable to LRB4; however, PO gives you the potential to RR armour or injury rolls for more ‘key’ players or situations which can increase your probability of a casualty by ~ 6 %.

Dauntless

In LRB4: Roll 2D6, if total > opp strength then Dauntless works.
In CRP: Roll 1D6 + player strength > opp strength then Dauntless works.

LRB4 (vs 4 ST) = 5+ = 83 %, LRB4 (vs 5 ST) = 6+ = 72 %, LRB4 (vs 6 ST) = 7+ = 58 %
CRP (2 ST vs 4 ST) = 3+ = 67 %, CRP (2 ST vs 5 ST) = 4+ = 50 %, CRP (2 ST vs 6 ST) = 5+ = 33 %
CRP (3 ST vs 4 ST) = 2+ = 83 %, CRP (3 ST vs 5 ST) = 3+ = 67 %, CRP (3 ST vs 6 ST) = 4+ = 50 %

Hence, CRP makes Dauntless less effective for low-strength players and slightly less effective for 3 strength players. In particular, 3 ST vs 4 ST in LRB4 and CRP are of equal probability but it is more difficult for 3 ST players to reach 5 or 6 ST players, which I feel is reasonable. As well, in LRB4 Dauntless required doubles whereas now in CRP it does not for most teams, hence reducing the effectiveness.

Dirty Player

This has also been well-discussed but reducing DP from “+1 to armour and +1 to injury” to “+1 to armour or +1 to injury”, as well as increasing the probability of being caught has greatly reduced the effectiveness and prevalence of dirty players.

LRB4: Without the Ref watching you: Roll D6, on a 6 = caught. With the Ref watching you: 4+ = caught. Could also argue the call and on a roll of a 6, the player remains in the game.
CRP: If you roll doubles on either armour or injury roll.

Prob(LRB4 caught, no eye, argue call) = 14 %
Prob(LRB4 caught, with eye, argue call) = 42 %
Prob(CRP caught, don’t break armour) = 16 %
Prob(CRP caught, break armour) = 33 %

Impact on Blood Bowl

In general, CRP made more skills readily available but also somewhat reduced their effectiveness to compensate. That being said, they also increased the effectiveness of some otherwise rarely used skills (e.g. Piling On) which as we all know has now turned it into a very well-used skill. The reduced effectiveness of DP and consistently high prevalence of being caught has changed fouling from being a widely-used strategy to being more tactical in nature. Overall, the CRP ruleset (e.g. reduced Claws, DP, and Journeymen) has made it a friendlier environment for low-armour teams as compared to LRB4, while the ability to easily amass Claws on mutation-enabled teams has drastically reduced the effectiveness of high armour bashy teams at high TV (e.g. Dwarf and Orc). Overall, as its name suggests, CRP has created an environment which is more competitive across the races than in LRB4, in my opinion; however, there are still many tweaks/adjustments that I feel are necessary to improve the competitive balance further.

Introduction

While the question ”How can I learn to play better?” has been asked countless times (and how much BB is all about luck is another never-ending debate), why write about positioning? This isn’t a game of chess or even football, its BLOOD BOWL. Just enjoy the carnage and be happy! Perhaps because for some people, enjoyment can be found in the often grueling task of personal growth, of getting better no matter how small the steps. And what started me on this path was the possibilities of double entendre in the word positional. I believe this is a game of many aspects, and usually the difference between good players are the very small things. These different aspects include, and not limited to, risk-management, clock control, team building, planning, knowing the strengths and weaknesses of different rosters, taunting your opponent and being on good terms with Nuffle.

While improvement in general is a highly abstract and hard to measure, improvement in one specific area can be made faster, and with visible results. That is why if this article feels limited, it is because it is meant to be. The other aspects of course influence your positional play, but they will only be referred to in relation to it. But enough foreplay, lets get to to the first big question. What is positional play? Saying it is how you place your pieces on the board would make a really short story, so we’ll try to be a bit better. In one sentence, how you place your players determines the dice rolls you and your opponent will make.

Skills to Consider

The first thing to do if you want to get into a positional set of mind, is to make a change in your expectation of how the dice rolls turn up. This is also written mostly from the point of view of a “bashy” team, because those are the ones I have most experience with. One thing to do is, instead of assuming every block you throw will at least knock your opponent prone, think what happens if it is just a pushback. Can I continue my blocking scheme or do I have to make change?. Same for ball-related rolls, how will the turn look if I fumble this throw? Will the ball still be safe or can my opponent steal it with ease? I don’t want to force pessimism on people, but here it certainly helps. Another helpful assumption is to not to expect to remove opposing players. Plan on them making their armour saves and when they don’t it will be a boon. We’ll get back to that later, but first some lists and, because I like lists. Listing always makes me feel more confident and knowledgeable and stuff. While all skills on players have some influence, there are some skills that are primarily positional in nature. Furthermore, I have divided into three groups called active, passive and holding skills.

Active skills are Block, Tackle, Guard, Juggernaut, Jump Up, Leap, Frenzy, Grab, Wrestle and Strip Ball. All these skills influence the control you have on your blocking and then chances of getting a favourable result on your own actions, or make more options available for you to do. For example with Grab and Frenzy (on two different players), any player in contact with the Grabber and 3 squares from the sidelines is a possible target for crowd surfing. And just having a Strip Baller waiting means that your opponent must carry the ball with a Sure Hands player or risk getting it stolen on decent odds. The point is, just having certain skills can force your opponent into playing or not playing in a certain way, one that is hopefully more beneficial to you, like forcing Elves to break through a Dwarven line instead of running around it.

Passive skills include Block, Wrestle, Guard, Dodge, Stand Firm, Fend and Sidestep. All these skills decrease the odds of successful blocks on your players and increase the risks they have to take. For example trying to blitz a Blodge Stand Firm player next to the sideline to make a route for the rest of your team, if it is no longer enough just to push him then they might have to use a reroll early just to get that POW, or make some risky leaps or dodges if it fails. Or having your ballcarrier marked by a Blodge Sidestepper, you have to spend your blitz move on him or risk a dodge. Which brings us to the last list of skills, ones meant for holding your opponent in place.

Holding skills are the shortest and most exclusive list, meaning they are less available to most teams. Diving Tackle, Tackle, Prehensile Tail and Tentacles. 2 mutations, one agility and one general skill which is also weakest for this role. Maybe Shadowing would fit here if it wasn't such a weak skill. Their job is to either keep opponents in place because they can’t or won’t dodge away or force turnovers due to failed dodges. While mass Tentacles are my favourite, getting stuck in a Blodging, Sidestepping, Diving Tackle Elves is at least as painful. However, having these skills can be very important, especially against Elves and other teams that can dodge away to reset any position you might want to force on them. All of these skills, when and where you have them and how you use them, are what makes this game so interesting.

Control

In a sense, positional play is all about control and how much you have it versus your opponent. Controlling how many blocks you opponent can take, who they can block or if they can even take 2 dice blocks at all. It is all about giving less options to your opponent and making them riskier to fail and harder to pass. You also want to control as much of pitch as possible and leave as little as possible for the opponent to move in. Make the sidelines unsafe by having Frenzy, make blocking you players unsafe by having Stand Firm / Sidestep / Jump Up so they risk getting blocked back if they fail, or having Fend so they cannot keep in contact with your players if they block them. The point of most of these skills listed is that they let you control where your and opponents players are placed. It is usually not possible to take away everything they have unless the game is a real mismatch or dice are one-sided, but you can usually make their rolls harder or riskier. Just pushing any roll from 2+ to 3+, or taking away an reroll can be huge when the ball is involved.

The basics of positional play can be best learned by looking at the setups for kicking off and doing one-turn scores, which can be found easily in the help section of FUMBBL. Beyond that, the best way is just to think what your opponent is probably going to do, and proceed to place your players so its as hard as possible to accomplish. So just play the game, and think about what you are doing. However, here are some tips and tricks I’ve learned along the way that might prove useful.

Some Numbers, or the Rule of 5

And now for something completely different, a few not so random numbers. The pitch is 15 squares wide, and can be covered fully in tackle zones by 5 players. Not coincidentally, most strength teams have exactly 4 blocker type players with high strength and a big guy. Or 5 rookie players can fully protect their more valuable teammates in a “column defence”, ie. where 2 players are placed in short rows and spaced 2 squares apart. Also, if you want to use a skill effectively you should have it on 5 players, especially holding skills. That way they can cover the entire field with the effect of the skill.

Its all About Speed / Strength, Baby

One thing that I always try to keep in mind is the accumulated total strength of the team on the field. For example a team of Human linemen has a total strength of 33, while Orcs with a Troll have have 39, while a full team of Lizards has 37 but its divided more unevenly. The thing is, if there is a wide difference in strength the team with more strength on field should normally want to keep in contact, while the weaker team would like to keep players free so they can focus in taking down a player with numbers. The same thing goes if one team is significantly faster than the other, the slow team wants to prevent a breakthrough they cannot hope to catch up to.

Guard is one way to overcome a strength difference, and even 1 Guard on an Elf team can make a huge difference. Suddenly even ST4 players on the sidelines can be targeted with 2 dice blocks, making way for their teammates to rush through the hole. Or a Leaping Guard paired with a Leaping Strip Baller makes caging almost redundant unless you can spare your own Guards on each corner of the cage, instead of just 2 opposite corners. Another use of Guards is to have two of them standing side by side in contact to an opposing player, preventing them from taking 2 or even 1 dice blocks without significant assistance from their team.

One last thing to remember about total strength is that in this matter, the attacking team is actually at a slight disadvantage, because they have a player carrying the ball who you don’t want to place at risk. Sure, they might get a small numbers advantage from blocking at the line of scrimmage, but if the numbers remain the same they are essentially playing with 1 man less. So the question to ask yourself when making decisions is, who is stronger and faster?

Holding the Line

As mentioned before, 5 players are enough to cover the width of the entire field. But a line of 5 is still broken through quite easily. This is why with certain teams I like to place a second player standing next to them when kicking on defence, and to place this line just one square behind the scrimmage. The point of this is especially against physically weaker teams to deny them any easy blocking opportunities and breakthroughs. This all depends on if they are able to make extra blocks easily with a Quick Snap kick off event, but if the answer is no then it’s a good way to make the game hard for them straight away. And if your opponent sets up for a Quick Snap he will also be vulnerable to Blitz! and Perfect Defence. Especially teams with lot of guard want to hold clean lines from sideline to sideline at all times if possible, starting from the kick off.

Every Ship Needs TWO Anchors

To successfully hold a line there is a special kind of player needed, who will be placed nearest to the sideline in the position where they usually get blitzed by opponents looking to break through. This player should optimally have high strength, Stand Firm and Blodge. And as the line has two ends, you need two of these players. It can be said it’s a game of inches out there, where a pushback or a failure to get one can decide a game. This is another reason why I think juggernaut is an underrated skill, because very often in closely fought games just getting that one push is enough to make a difference.

Use Their Players Against Them

A good analogy for a positional game is to say it’s a pushing one-turn attempt that lasts 16 turns. And the art of chainpushing your players using the opponents is one that should not be limited to just one-turn attempts. And it’s a thing that can often be missed by your opponent, who thinks his ballcarrier is safely out of range of your players, especially when you both have a lot of players in contact. Another trick is filling crucial positions with prone players, if they only have 1 square to go through failing a dodge to it can be the best move, especially as prone players cannot be blocked away. You could call this tactic the “wall of bodies”, just have to hope your armour holds.

This is the Conclusion, so Where is all the Concrete Advice?

The best part about having a positional frame of mind is that it is not tied down to specific setups or formations. Surely the help section is full of different nicely illustrated setups for one-turn scores and kick offs, but as the game goes on the possibilities are too broad to include in any one guide. Instead, you just have to think what your opponent is going to try to do, and stop them or make it as hard as possible. You are playing against the mind of the opponent and not just rolling dice. Sometimes if you make scoring look too unlikely they might just not try it because they don’t want to fail. Or they come up with something you didn’t think of and catch you by surprise. At least for me, those games of interplay between coaches are the hardest and the most fun.

Blood Bowl is often a frightfully difficult game to talk about. If I had a pound for every time I asked a friend ‘How did your game go?’ and then immediately wished that I had not; my eyes glazing over as I drift in and out of conversation… ‘I rolled a 1. This guy died… (I wonder what’s for dinner later)… then a Blitz!.. (that’s a lovely picture on the wall behind him. I wonder where that came from?)… and finally, I punched him in the face (wait, what?!)’… I’d probably have approximately £274. We all remember ‘key’ dice rolls and incidents immediately after the battle; but we rarely pick over the minutiae of a drive. The tactics, the strategy, the decisions, and how they underpin a result.

Luckily, we have a super tool with Kalimar’s client. A tool that we can use to record a game and then break it down, work out it where it was won and lost, analyse positions with the benefit of distance, a cup of tea and hindsight that you cannot in the heat of battle. You may have rolled a 1, but did you need to? What led to the position where you had to try to roll a 2? The dice are never as interesting or as important as the decision making when going over a game; afterall, you can’t learn from dice.

Joemanji had the idea that we, as an interesting tactics article, should find a pair of willing combatants / test subjects, ask them to play and then analyse their game. Luckily for us, Stonetroll and happygrue agreed it might be a good idea (mwhaha, the fools!), and the below is some analysis (between the four of us) of what happened.

The game can be found here. My suggestion is that you fire up the replay, and following each turn, take the time to read the in-depth commentary of the coaches. Decide if you agree with their reasoning, their rationale. Discard dice rolls from your analysis; luck is not the interest of the day here. You will also find below some ‘key points’ that I have highlighted with some analysis of my own. Do you agree with my thinking? Is everyone, the coaches and the commentators alike, wrong? Is it even a key point? I hope this will form a rewarding hour or so of your time, and leave you with something to think about going into future games of your own. Or, it’s utter garbage and you’ll be renewed in your knowledge of your own tactical mastery. Either way, worth a go!

Let’s remember that, as with any sport or game. it’s always easier to watch than play. We have never made a mistake spectating, we are always perfect. Luckily, yhis is quality Blood Bowl right here, and much of what follows are simply ideas or interesting points for discussion. No-one is right or wrong, but talking about this stuff is fun! Disclaimers over; let’s begin.

The Coaches

happygrue and Stonetroll are FUMBBL veterans of over 5000 combined games. They’re well known as two of the site’s big guns; two men to spec as and when you get the chance. I have locked horns with both of these individuals in the past, and I look forward to a tough game when I next get the chance to do so. This classic bash v agility showdown is a game to savour.

The Teams

For Stonetroll: 13 Orcs. 3 Stand Firm in total, 2 BOBs and a Troll, an MB / Tackle / DT Blitzer (handy against Elves), an MA7 ST 4 Blitzer and no Thrower. For happygrue: 11 High Elves. A superb MA9 AG5 Catcher, an MB Frenzy Catcher and some all important Blodge Guard on a Blitzer. An interesting choice in a Grab Blitzer too. The TV is middling, the teams are interesting, and the stage is set.

The Game

Before Kickoff: Orcs induce a Chainsaw and win FAME. Elves win the toss, elect to receive.

<Stonetroll> alright <Stonetroll> lets have a good game <happygrue> have fun! <Stonetroll> I was thinking I'll try out the saw for this one <Stonetroll> its sort of random, but I like it against blodge <happygrue> That makes this choice harder - I almost always kick, but with a saw in play I'm not sure... … <happygrue> I also like to play Defense with more players, and I probably won't have 11 next half <happygrue> yep, agreed <Stonetroll> for this I think I just want to keep 2 guys back for blitzing, in this case the saw and the tackler <Stonetroll> and this forward set up is kind of what I like to do with stronger teams these days <happygrue> I thought you might have tried to stuff the diving tackler on the LOS, but I think your setup is solid. …

ELF TURN 1

<Stonetroll> but, you're just giving away 1 square backwards here, not too bad <Stonetroll> and controlling most of the space too

The Kickoff Recovery

The first interjection on my part comes as early as the kickoff. Stonetroll is defending the flanks with Stand Firm (SF) and the centre with high ST SF. happygrue has the big Catcher near the ball, the Guard mobile and has passively backed away from the Orcs. As he notes in his chat, what to hit? A common Elven tactic, ‘suck and go’ (inviting the bashers forward only to spring the trap and accelerate past them) is offered, Stonetroll will doubtless attempt to ‘hold the line’. happgrue’s passive beginning is aligned with my conservative agility tendencies, and Stonetroll’s initial setup attempts to generate tempo by not giving the Elves an easy beginning. Quality ‘feeling out’ in the early rounds of the contest.

Much of the flow and tempo of the first half now depends on how Stonetroll approaches passive Elves. Will he tie up Linemen and try to induce a 2+ failure, or trap one or two in 3+ dodge situations? Will he passively hold the line around half way? Will he throw the ‘Saw into action or leave it as the threat happygrue knows is lurking?

ORC TURN 1

… <happygrue> but what I'm going to do is just sit back here and make the orcs do something, while I look for a hole <Stonetroll> and I don't really want to overcommit on your defence just yet … <Stonetroll> nothing too big yet, just pushing them back a little

Getting Past the Ball

At the beginning of turn 2, happygrue makes a decision that may shape his whole drive. With one Guard and a wall of pretty strong looking Orcs ahead of him, punching through the line is going to be tricky. It appears Stonetroll is not going to simply dive in and give him something easy. Getting a man ‘ahead of the ball’ is important for any team on any drive; neatly moving a square forward a turn with the cage at the front of your formation is a recipe for shipwreck on the rocks of a ‘double banked’ or flat defence. Leaving a receiver in the opposing half sucks a marker out of the defensive line (you can’t just leave him there), and can be a pivot around which an offence moves. It’s also important not to be too passive. Consider turn 2 from the High Elves, would you have moved forward here, or awaited something better? With the man ahead, the ball was transferred to the super fast, agile Catcher. I like this move from the Elves; making the punch through in the middle or late in a drive can be fraught with danger on a few pushes or a 1. happy alludes to farming spp with the Catchers in the game text as a reason why the Blitzer makes the move, but I like the fastest men being close to the ball, and AV7 hidden. When the explosive movement comes, it can be decisive.

Stonetroll now had to acknowledge the threat of a man ahead of the ball and respond.

(Key: 1, Guard area target, 2 movable Orcs, 3 Player to move through the line, circle, target area)

ELF TURN 2

… <Stonetroll> only one elf through, so I can mark him …

ORC TURN 2

<happygrue> I'm still not sure if I will end up needing to score fast or will end up trying to stall this out, but I wanted to do something threatening to make the orcs change up from "just bash and stand" <Stonetroll> and don't want to GFI to blitz here yet, it looks like a bait <happygrue> good bait: as this is my strip baller, but also a saw or MB blitz might backfire anyway <Stonetroll> I think I'll just sandwich him for the future <Stonetroll> and hope the troll wakes up eventually <happygrue> ideally, I would not have use that blitzer, as I want to protect him - but due to my running catchers back to farm SPP passes, I didn't have a catcher who could get through <happygrue> so that innocent pass turns out to cost me some position here …

ELF TURN 3

… <happygrue> we're just going to run back and stall <Stonetroll> yeah that is the problem with speed sometimes, if you can get out of range you are 100 % safe for that turn …

ORC TURN 3

<Stonetroll> still, even sending a slow guy back is worth it, but here is where I should have sent my stat freak <happygrue> as he could have been surfed <Stonetroll> yep <Stonetroll> I was looking for that <happygrue> some risk, as I really didn't want to use a RR on any of that, and catcher had to dodge away without dodge, among other things <happygrue> if I had used a RR and failed somewhere on that turn I would have been in a relatively poor position, without scoring threats and with lots of contact … <Stonetroll> stuns are good <Stonetroll> and your guys are slow enough that I have time to react now if you got down <happygrue> so now one blitzer is quite pinned, both catchers are down and the other blitzer was stunned <happygrue> so options are very limited - that was far better than trying to surf for the Orcs IMO

ELF TURN 4

<Stonetroll> and with the guard out for a turn there is no easy way to hit the saw and get rid of him that way <happygrue> we're going to try to hang back with the ball and start to get elves into that empty space in the bottom …

ORC TURN 4

Forcing the Issue

At the end of the fourth Elf turn, happy had dropped the ball back, knowing the fast, agile Catcher could launch the ball almost where he wanted it to go at any time. It was a passive move that knowingly surrendered some tempo. There were a few Elves deep, and the Orcs were not the flat, immovable wall they once were. With no armour breaks. Stonetroll had to do something to change the half – this Elfstall was going too well. The answer was contact and pushing forward to pressure the ball. The end of the turn left happy needing to roll dice. None of the Linemen had Dodge, everything at this point was dangerous. Stonetroll had successfully wrestled back a chunk of the initiative. Did too many Elves advance, not leaving enough layers between the Orcs and the ball allowing easy escape? Was this Orc smothering just too good? Crucially, the ‘Saw was advanced, leaving happy knowing that he had a decision to make.

ELF TURN 5

… <happygrue> I have several 2+ rolls to get the ball anywhere safe, and no good passing options <Stonetroll> still, feels like I really should have used the fast blitzer to threaten the ball instead of doing linebacker work <happygrue> I could use the ball to tag his wrestle lino and then blitz with my blitzer, trying to setup a little cage there near midfield, but that could end in disaster <Stonetroll> saw and bobs are really not good for that <happygrue> we're going to try something with some risk, but that would make the ball safe, then we can try to work on scoring threats <Stonetroll> but at least the saw can reach every square on this side now with GFI's … <Stonetroll> and there is a critical snake <happygrue> that is a costly mistake <happygrue> the snake is unfortunate, but really, I should not have dodged there

A Breakthrough!

Even though the ‘Saw went down, a roll failed. Whilst the turnover was caused by a snake, happy knew that the Elf standing still to be hit would have been successful 100 % of the time, rather than dodging 35/36 times.

A BOB was free to take down the ball deep in the High Elven half.

ORC TURN 5

<Stonetroll> it still needs the bob to sack him with a POW <happygrue> I should have just left that lino to tie up the BOB and then start dodging elves up the pitch <happygrue> if I stay up, it's looking like maybe I will be trying to run away now and just run the ball in <happygrue> with 1 RR left and several turns, I really don't want a passing play that could leave me with 0 RR <Stonetroll> hmmm <Stonetroll> I'm going to keep that lineorc for last just in case the ball gets free and bounces my way, so I wouldn't have to pick up with the black orc <happygrue> disaster! <Stonetroll> foul doesn't need to move for it right? <happygrue> right <Stonetroll> so the lineman has a more important job now, just need to stun the ag5 <happygrue> pickup was an interesting choice there <Stonetroll> I would much rather trust some 2+ rolls than a crucial 4+ pickup <happygrue> 2+ 4+ and then maybe I don't get it back <happygrue> or if it fails, I have an EASY pickup and am away …

What Now?

With the breakthrough achieved, happy was in trouble. But for how long? In the event the Catcher could simply stand up, the ball could still be miles away next turn. Stonetroll’s decision was to foul the Catcher. It must have been a difficult choice between the high reward Foul and the BOB pickup, as the text describes. The foul is about 60 % for a stun +, the pickup 70 % with a TRR having GFI’d, but those numbers don’t tell the entire story, numbers never do. Stonetroll chose not to try and maximise his breakthrough by picking up (he could have then fouled ¾ of the time), and it’s an interesting discussion point.

ELF TURN 6

<happygrue> now I have a an easy 2+ dodge with dodge, a 2+ pickup thanks to ag 5 and can run far enough to be dangerous <happygrue> though any failure here is going to be costly <Stonetroll> but on the other hand your prone catcher can free up the scorers there, so it should be worth it <happygrue> hard call <Stonetroll> but 1 dice pow worked out on the second one <Stonetroll> so I could get a MB hit in too <Stonetroll> without giving up the DT on either <Stonetroll> that catcher is still in kind of dire straits <happygrue> okay, I could risk something up the pitch and then pickup and throw to someone <happygrue> or I could pickup first and run somewhere not safe, then try to protect the catcher …

The Pounce

With the Orcs sucked forward to capitalise on the failure, the Elves could pounce. With some rolls, the ideal Elfstall situation could be achieved; just what Stonetroll didn’t want when he decided to push forward and break his line up. With 2 turns to go, the Elves had everything they needed; a spread field and a full team. The decision here for the Orcs is an interesting one: a) Manufacture dice at the ball and sacrifice defending recievers if it doesn’t go brilliantly, or b) Using the Blitz action to defend the wide open field.

The latter option was chosen.

ORC TURN 6

<Stonetroll> if I blitz the ball I will have to leave the catcher standing <happygrue> I almost ran the catcher south, as it would have been fewer rolls to defend him <happygrue> BUT he would have needed several GFI to get into the endzone too, so it was a question of risk this turn or risk in the critical last turns <Stonetroll> well, again I have to 1 dice him <Stonetroll> but that way you need a longer pass to score if he wrestles down <Stonetroll> and the chainsaw is still for the last action risky stuff now <Stonetroll> hmmm <Stonetroll> this is really late in the drive, so using a bribe would not get much out of it now <Stonetroll> while keeping it lets me foul more liberally all game long <happygrue> I agree, I would safe the bribe for fouling more safely next half <Stonetroll> and he got one last stun in <Stonetroll> and while this is far from perfect, if you want to score this turn it will take some rolls at least <Stonetroll> so you are going to go all the way and stall for a turn 8 score

ELF TURN 7

… <Stonetroll> a cage down there is probably out of reach for me now <happygrue> since we can run it in, we're going to try that <happygrue> and so turn 8 score was the plan

ORC TURN 7

<Stonetroll> seems like my only chance is to go for 3+ 5+ dodges <Stonetroll> its better than nothing, but probably not as good as TTM <happygrue> what makes it hard on the orcs, is that if he'd failed to take care of my scoring threats (or if they'd failed to get themselves free) then I could have just lobbed it down the pitch and run it in or stalled at the goal line <Stonetroll> which is kind of low odds thanks to your kicker too … <Stonetroll> perhaps the BOB pickup would have been the better option, if it worked he had good odds for holding on to it too

ELF TURN 8

Elves score: 1-0

Touchdown!
1-0. The TTM attempt to come, and then driving against a full team (minus two LOS attempts). The Orcs are under pressure…

ORC TURN 8

<happygrue> setting up there to prevent a goblin from getting an easy landing if the throw is good <Stonetroll> and I'm just setting up to cover most basic kick places <Stonetroll> since the corner kick would be death to the TTM attempt <happygrue> I'm going to kick it deep, but 4 away from each edge so that with kick (max 3) and a bounce (1) the only way it could go out is with changing weather (two bounces) <happygrue> which has a low chance … <Stonetroll> orcs finally opening up their cas count <happygrue> it's about time <Stonetroll> I can use block to get 3 dice, and foul away with the goblin <Stonetroll> since his main job is now over anyway …

SECOND HALF

ORC TURN 1

<Stonetroll> now if this was a tourney game it would be easier to plan the second half, just 8 turns of bashing and stalling <happygrue> well, I was lucky to make it to this point with 10 elves and the lead, considering how it turned out, so this is great. … <happygrue> so if he goes down here, I can rush elves around the top <happygrue> which we will try! <Stonetroll> yeah

Stick or Twist

Suddenly, the Elves have gone from 11 and cruising to 9 and worrying. Whilst happy has played a relatively passive game so far; now 3 men down, he needs to start thinking about when to be aggressive. 8 Elves (8 anything) have a hard time passively walling off against 11 Orcs, but what they can do is create local mismatches with their speed and agility, and chase lone ball carriers. happy knows the clock is ticking; he needs to stop this drive to win the game, and to do so, he probably needs to get aggressive. When will he push?

ELF TURN 1

ORC TURN 2

<Stonetroll> I'm going to play it really safe since snakes on GFI here would end me <Stonetroll> and your strip ball can't reach him this turn, so giving up a 2 dice against at worst is sort of okay <happygrue> a failed pickup would have made this plan a possible game winner, but the blitzer is fast enough with ma 7 to get just far enough to dash my hopes …

ELF TURN 2

…

ORC TURN 3

… <happygrue> marking the only orc with MB, tackle, and dt means he will have to either blitz himself free or just hit a lino rather than my important players <Stonetroll> here we get another playmaker on the ground luckily <happygrue> my blitz last turn backfired with both downs - again would have been nice to have jugger <happygrue> wasn't a great plan of mine, and now he gets to foul my hitter <Stonetroll> yep <happygrue> now I see a typical orc wall …

ELF TURN 3

<happygrue> I'm fine risking the dodge away from dt because it puts him on the ground here <happygrue> mmm <Stonetroll> heheh <happygrue> another time I would have sat there and not dodged, just to block up the place <Stonetroll> and this is why I like to push from the middle if not forced, because sides are easier to protect with column defence <happygrue> but with a bribe, sitting there in the path is not as tempting

ORC TURN 4

<Stonetroll> I can go either way now, but top has nicer looking targets <happygrue> since playing to win, we're going to use the apo there <happygrue> I'm low enough on elves, and the game will be decided this drive <happygrue> losing another would be critical, and espeically a wrestler with dodge …

Facing the Cage

The BOB GFI failure had left happygrue with an ‘in’. He had 6 Elves able to move, but the Orc position might never be this fragile again. If happy was going to win, this seemed to be his time to make life tough. The cage points are in contact, Strip Ball looms. What to do? Is now the time to go for it, or does he hang on? As it turned out, the attempt was aborted.

ELF TURN 4

<Stonetroll> just in case you are going for something flashy, but with 2 rerolls not worth one <happygrue> the debate, 1 GTI with my guard will allow 1d to push his blitzer away <happygrue> then I can -2d with the strip baller <Stonetroll> and the prone guy is still being a nuisance now, so its good <happygrue> the problem, no one left to pickup and succeed or fail it could mean my elves get surfed and he walks it in <happygrue> but I think it's my best shot here <happygrue> that hurts <Stonetroll> and now you need to pow him, when pushes would have sufficed without the bob <happygrue> so now instead of blocking first I need to think <happygrue> do I bring linos back? Abort the plan? <happygrue> I think I do <happygrue> if no pow it doesn't work, thanks to the prone BOB- I'd have to push him into the way of my dodge <happygrue> ABORT!

ORC TURN 5

<Stonetroll> alright <Stonetroll> I was planning on scoring this turn, since defence TD with 3 turns seems a lot better than 2 …

Orcs Score! 1-1

Playing to Win

With 7 Elves remaining, an Apo used to save a vital player and 1 KO, Stonetroll pushes to win. Whether this is the right move depends on your appetite for risk; what’s more important, winning or not losing? Whittling the Elves down for a couple more turns would have made the one turn attempt an unlikely success, a draw was more or less assured. However, Stonetroll’s team is set up to not allow a quick breakaway, so a win was a possible result. With the game in the balance, the perfect start to the third drive unfolded (if you’re green)…

<happygrue> well done <happygrue> all tied up! <Stonetroll> thanks <happygrue> now 7 elves have plenty of time to score against 11 orcs, with 2 RR each. Really could go either way <happygrue> safer play would have been to just stall it out for the tie, but the elves might have snuck in and knocked the ball loose at some point. I often prefer to play for the win than the tie also. <Stonetroll> yep, these numbers look like we both have a shot … <Stonetroll> a bllitz you say? <happygrue> heh, well I meant that I wasn't going to blitz anyway <happygrue> but yes, this Blitz! is no good against my meger defense :D

ELF TURN 5

<Stonetroll> had to think about moving the DT guy too <happygrue> ugly :D <Stonetroll> to hold your guard just to make it uglier <happygrue> so the strip baller needs to blitz, and the catcher has to be available to pickup <happygrue> but the question is, how many other moves first? -2d is not ideal here, but doding others isn't great either <Stonetroll> and I wanted the blitzer to be in the way of your catcher with wrestle <Stonetroll> but indeed, this is a tricky turn <happygrue> so here I could 2+ and have the wrestler tag, then dodge and GFI with the strip baller for 1d <happygrue> I'm going to go big, and do the 4+ dodge from dt/tackler <happygrue> as guard will make this a GFI for a 2d strip with my blitzer <Stonetroll> yeah that will leave options open for the rest of the turn <Stonetroll> high risk, high reward style <happygrue> here goes, probably win or lose on this dodge! <Stonetroll> DT just burned the reroll <Stonetroll> but the scatter was a hard one <happygrue> oh my <Stonetroll> that was another big foul <happygrue> they just saved it all up for the one foul :D <happygrue> all the elf rage into one strike! <happygrue> very bad odds too, with just one assisst <happygrue> mostly I just wanted to stand next to the ball <Stonetroll> yep, but double 6 on armour is nice <happygrue> and with the bribe it was safe enough to foul

ORC TURN 6

…

The Game is on the Line!

With 5 active Elves and the ball on the Megacatcher, this was it. The Elves faced a crucial decision as to how hard to push, and what route to take. Where would you go? Is there scope to back away and go for a tie, or do you push to win?

Stop the replay and check the skills. Where to, Elven coaches? I’ll tell you where to….

ELF TURN 6

<happygrue> well, I can run back and cage with some chance of holding the ball <happygrue> but in terms of winning, I have to break through somehow <Stonetroll> and going through the SF guy again means there is much more chance of fail <happygrue> okay, I could 1d with the blitzer the lino away and then 2d blitz the SF BOB with wrestle <happygrue> but it might be no good anyway and I have to dodge through <happygrue> I could also 1d wrestle blitz the BOB and try to dodge through <Stonetroll> I thought about placing the frenzy guy next to your blitzer, but that would have let you run up top with no problem <happygrue> we're going to try the wrestle blitz <happygrue> I like it better than dodging through first …

ORC TURN 7

<Stonetroll> hmm <Stonetroll> I can get it to 1 dice and the n 2 dice on the second at best here <Stonetroll> with lots of GFI <happygrue> might be worth it, hard call <Stonetroll> and have to keep one guy at least in scoring range …

ELF TURN 7

…

ORC TURN 8

<Stonetroll> I can just try to force one last snake, but nothing more …

Elves score! 2-1

<Stonetroll> grats <happygrue> thank you <happygrue> great game sir <happygrue> thought you had me after that blitz <Stonetroll> the blitz was big, but the DT dodge turn really settled this <happygrue> yes, it really was the key play <Stonetroll> yep, the speed and deep setup made it hard for me to get the most out of it <happygrue> elves had the better luck on the critical plays <happygrue> and stayed with enough numbers long enough to do their thing <Stonetroll> a faster team can protect the ball a lot better too <Stonetroll> indeed

The Aftermath

So; fortune favoured the brave in this situation, well, one of the brave. The Orcs and then the High Elves pushed to win, and a win we got. I hope that it’s clear from the text; this game didn’t come down to those late one dice blocks that freed and did not down the fast, agile Catcher. This, like any game of Blood Bowl, was decided by tens of tiny micro-decisions, overall strategies and the manner in which the coaches approached the game and the result. We each of us may have taken a different path at one of a hundred points, and the game would have been different as a result.

I hope that you’ve enjoyed this way of looking at a game of Blood Bowl, and that you’ve got something out of it (even if that is eye strain from looking at a wall of text or the knowledge we three are idiots!). I’d like to thank happygrue and Stonetroll for their informative in game chat and for their work on the project, not to mention a great game to spectate! If you would like to produce something similar for a future issue of the GLN, perhaps analysing a big game from a FUMBBL major or a league you love, approach da management!

GLN: So. We are here to discuss the new(ish) Dirty Tricks cards available to FUMBBL coaches. But first up let’s all say hello. Please introduce yourselves in the traditional way. Some sort of statement as to your BB experience and a random fact about you people may not know.

miyuso_: G'day, I'm Miyuso <brad>, I've been on FUMBBL for almost 12 years, and I've played games on 3 different continents and lost many of them.
Kryten: I'm Kryten , FUMBBL security officer and major winner. I'm here on pain killers from a recent knee surgery.
The_Provocateur: Hi, I'm The_Provocateur. I started playing Blood Bowl by proxy with Legos and poster board before I came to FUMBBL. I'm also from Alaska.
mrt1212: Hey Hey, mrt1212 , I'm up in Seattle, was first introduced to BB through Cyanide about 2.5 years ago? Have only ever played online but really want to play some TT. You may not know this about me: My other all consuming hobby is music.
Stimme: I'm Stimme . Newer to FUMBBL than many others, and made my way there through tabletop over Cyanide. I love that I am able to play it on my old crappy laptop in the living room. This significantly improved my relationship.

GLN: Let's go with a nice big bold opener. What's your favourite Dirty Tricks card, and why?
mrt1212: Every time I take a Dirty Trick I am always hoping for Pie. In true FUMBBL fashion I might add.

miyuso_: I love a good Spikey Ball.
The_Provocateur: My favorite Dirty Tricks card has to be Distract because it can turn the other team into Ogres.
Kryten: The Custard Pie, very nasty. Can be used by a prone player to gaze an adjacent opponent with 100 % certainty. Sets up a two die blitz on the very surprised ball carrier quite often.
Stimme: My favourite card is the Pit Trap.

GLN: Any downsides to the Pie? Sounds awesome!

The_Provocateur: It loses some of its lustre if you mostly play Vampires...
mrt1212: That's what makes the Pie so good, there's no potential drawback!
Kryten: The main problem with the Custard Pie is that it requires a player be next to the appropriate victim to launch the Pie. Sometimes this chance never really materializes.
miyuso_: Agree with Kryten, especially with low armour teams

GLN: Spiked Ball is fun for sure, but I’ve seen a bash team choose not to play it. Would you? vs Elves? vs another bash team?

miyuso_: Spiked Ball is great for a second half against bash teams who are down.
The_Provocateur: I don't find Spiked Ball to be very useful at all unless it’s raining and my opponent has bad ball handling.
mrt1212: Spiked Ball I would always play but unfortunately I've rarely seen it do something useful. Most teams at higher TVs have the tools to mitigate the fail.
Stimme: I agree with The_Prov, it is one of the more boring / uninteresting ones, especially since it is only for one drive.
Kryten: I would feel obligated to play the Spiked Ball for my opponent's drive. I paid my money, I'm gonna use it! If the Spiked Ball actually hurts one of my players, that means my opponent's drive is going badly. miyuso_: One drive can make all the difference.

GLN: OK. Im not sure you've sold us there miyuso_, let's move on to Pit Trap then, it's certainly an eye catcher, is it as awesome as it seems?

mrt1212: If only it was at the start of your turn.
Stimme: The big drawback is definitely the fact that you use it at the end of the turn.
miyuso_: It's an end of turn Wizard.
Stimme: But then, you can free up the ball, especially if he hugs the sidelines.
Kryten: Pit Trap is awesome, but your opponent has a chance to react. The best use seems to be knocking over the ball carrier after marking him with multiple defenders, or knocking down a player who can no longer reach the end zone in time.
mrt1212: I scored early in a game, kicked deep, and then Pit Trapped the only player in the vicinity while I moved my Gutter Runners near adjacent. As Elves or Skaven it can be cruical in securing a 2-0 lead at half, If you elect to receive first or the opponent makes that choice for you.
The_Provocateur: Pit Trap is most useful when you're trying to isolate a non-Elf thrower in the backfield.

GLN: OK, let's flip it. which card makes your heart sink? what's the crappy card?

mrt1212: Stolen Playbook without a doubt. Shadowing isn't applicable to most teams in terms of odds. And Pass Block isn't either.
miyuso_: I'd rather that than Chop Block.
The_Provocateur: Gromskull's Exploding Runes, it looks fun but you lose a player when you do it and it has a tendency to backfire.
Stimme: I had also very sad moments with Exploding Runes on a Halfling team. It is basically only good for kamikaze actions.
mrt1212: I suppose I suffer from playing Elves and Skaven so often where The Exploding Runes are really fun. That and once having and AG5 Accurate Thrower on The Italo Disco Kings BBL.
Kryten: I feel the Illegal Substitution is not very good. Although it can get one of your scrubs onto the pitch, he can only take a move action on that turn.
mrt1212: Illegal Substitution is great in this context: Your superstar Wardancer with all the fancy tools inexplicably gets Badly Hurt or worse and you use your Apothecary to heal. Bam, he's back in the game and maybe your drive isn't looking like it's going down the toilet!

GLN: Chop Block looks hard to love. When would it be useful? I assume we discount having unused players next to the ball?

mrt1212: Chop Block is great if you're being marked by a ST5 player with tents.
miyuso_: Only if you didn't use said player last turn!
The_Provocateur: Chop block is good if you have a low agility guy next to some stronger anchor player.
Kryten: Chop Block looks tricky to be really effective. Perhaps you could chain-push one of your unmoved players next to the proposed victim to make it work?
miyuso_: I don't leave players unused!
The_Provocateur: You don't play enough Vampires. ;-)
mrt1212: Against a Nurgle team, that Chop Block is going to be used.

GLN: Stolen Playbook does look utter toilet, but 2 shouts for the Exploding Runes? What’s not to love in raining death from the sky? Can’t maybe an AG5 Elf make good use second half?

mrt1212: Absolutely. But it's perhaps too team specific like some of the other cards are. The_Provocateur: It’s too situational, everything can be useful in a certain situation.
Kryten: I have left the Runes unused before, because my bench was short and I was afraid to lose a man to a quick touchdown.
Stimme: I find myself using Dirty Tricks most often on stunty teams, which suffer the most from the additional -1 to pass roll.
Kryten: One other interesting consideration from the poor cards: You can leave the card face down and threaten your opponent with an imaginary Custard Pie or Pit Trap.
The_Provocateur: I agree with Kryten; sometimes fear of the card is better than the card itself!

GLN: Does card fear work as well online as RL? you can't pick it up and grin, for example.

The_Provocateur: You can taunt your opponent in chat though, but the lack of visual is a hindrance.

GLN: Admins talking up 'taunting opponents'?! Tch tch. So, mrt1212 spoke of an Illegal Substitution to return players to the drive. That flexibility (add a 12th or return a player to the drive) makes it a good draw yes?

The_Provocateur: I like Illegal Substitution, if you have good armour you can outnumber and possibly out bash your opponent.
mrt1212: A team like Orcs with a dedicated fouler can really benefit from the IS card.
Kryten: The ability to replace a Badly Hurt star in the key drive of the game could be excellent. Again, heavily situational.
Stimme: I have had good experiences with Illegal Substitution against non-agile teams that managed to send out the ball carrier by himself.

GLN: It should be noted the FUMBBL client does not allow heat exhausted players to use Illegal Substitution to get onto the field. On TT it may.

GLN: Some cards haven’t cropped up, maybe we needed Calcium to talk up Blatant Foul. in a world of ClawPOMB, isn’t a Blatant Foul the answer?

mrt1212: I find that a lot of people are afraid to foul. And in general people don't build teams around the premise.
The_Provocateur: Unfortunately Blatant Foul can only be used once per game. I want to foul ClawPOMBers more than once.
Kryten: Blatant Foul could be a wonderful suicide cheap shot. Go ahead and foul in three tackle zones, you know it's going to work anyway. The problem is that you play the card at the beginning of your turn, and could still be sent off for the injury roll.
miyuso_: And can make your situation worse.
mrt1212: The higher the TV the more that value pays off.
Stimme: I agree, it is for sure one of the less interesting cards.
The_Provocateur: While not overly interesting it can be useful for a key stun/injury without devoting too many resources.
Kryten: On the flip side, if your opponent's legendary killer is prone then it is time to seize the moment and roll for injury.
miyuso_: I play a lot of league, So I need to win more than kill ducks.

GLN: Greased Shoes or Kicking Boots? which would you want?

mrt1212: Kicking Boots.
The_Provocateur: Kicking Boots if I have deep reserves and Greased Shoes if I don't have many players.
Stimme: Tough call, but Greased Shoes is fantastic for teams that stall until last turn with 1 or 2 GFIs to score. Also, lots of my teams have a Kicker.
mrt1212: Greased Shoes saved me in a recent game. It feels like almost every game as Elves/Humans/Skaven there is one integral GFI your opponent must fail.
Kryten: the Kicking Boots are far more likely to be used, but the amount of impact is lesser. Greased Shoes played on the right turn in the right circumstances can be ruinous to an opponent trying to get into the end zone on time.

GLN: mrt1212 making the case for both sides of a binary choice there.

GLN: On then to the Witches Brew, is it the fail rate that prevents it having fans?

Stimme: I had a fun game once against a Wood Elf team with a mighty Really Stupid Wardancer. I find it not such a bad card to play on for example a dedicated ball carrier.
The_Provocateur: I think Witches Brew is great because most teams now-a-days are focused on a small core of players. If you can disrupt one of those core players every turn for a half you vastly reduce their team's efficiency.
mrt1212: I've been a victim of Witches Brew really badly only once. It’s a card I wouldn't want to have in my hand but it's not one I would want my opponent to have either.
Stimme: The_Provocateur and me still suffer from the aftermath of our year-long brainlink.
The_Provocateur: The Meld has some lingering effects...
Kryten: The Witches Brew is a great card to throw on your opponent's main ball carrier or important player. Forcing all sorts of extra 2+ rolls can really add up on a drive. He'll probably have to play a different strategy to exclude the stupid player from doing important things.
mrt1212: Kryten: An opponent used the Witches Brew against me yesterday. A key failed really stupid roll nearly cost me a touchdown.

GLN: Hopefully everyone has stopped reading by now, so it's safe to talk about Distract. Only Prov picked it as the best card. So, are you all crazy? its AWESOME (my view has nothing to do with seeing all 11 Dorfs go Ogre one game).

Kryten: I have not been blessed with much experience with Distract. Can someone give an example of a good result from it?
GLN: I just did.
mrt1212: Playing Elves and Skaven the Disturbing Presence is more of a pain in the butt than the Bone Head. You can play around it with agility.
Stimme: I had an opponent used it against me once. 4 or 5 players got Bone-Headed, 2 of them rolled a 1. But it was no game-changer.
The_Provocateur: If your opponent and you lock into a scrum it can turn the tide when 3 players miss an important block. : it absolutely works better vs. teams that clump together
Stimme: One big difference is also, that these players won't have Loner (same for the Witches Brew). So you can always RR the Bone Head without penalty.
miyuso_: Never really come up against it.

GLN: Now let’s go wider. What’s the sort of game where i should think 'right, the answer is 2-3 Dirty Tricks cards'? When should I be reaching for them?

The_Provocateur: If you don't think your team is good enough to get a defensive turnover and you don't want to purchase a Wizard for some reason.
mrt1212: I'd also say when you have a numbers advantage so large that you aren't worried about KOs, if we're talking about 100-140 k inducements.
Kryten: My latest Brawl match was my Ogres vs Azure's humans. I took four Dirty Tricks as my inducements for maximum random shots at him. It was not a success, but it was a fun time.
Stimme: Which normally makes it more attractive to teams like Halflings, that can have troubles of getting to the ball against for example high TV Elves.
miyuso_: Games where you are in leagues which don't allow Wizards, and no good stars.
mrt1212: Stimme: , brings up one of the issues with Wizard which is "You used it, now what?" Some teams can, not shrug, but discount the damage a Lightning Strike does against a ball carrier or a key screener.

GLN: Now, I've been assuming that Magic Items, which no one ever seems to use, are the Canada to Dirty Tricks' America. Am i right?

miyuso_: More like the Danes to the Finns.
Stimme: They certainly lost a lot of appeal when the Dirty Tricks came out.
The_Provocateur: I think Magic items are comparably worse because there are more "dud" cards in the pool and the Dirty Tricks are newer.
mrt1212: Also, it should be noted that two of the most interesting cards in both decks aren't implemented in the FUMBBL client.
Kryten: The Magic Items don't contain enough surprises to actually swing a game. Only the Beguiling Bracers offer the kind of big result, the rest of them are fairly mild but reliable boosts to players. Not good enough for a random draw from a pile of cards.
Stimme: I sometimes take Magic Items. Mainly when I am typing in the chat window while the option pops up. And I accidentally buy one.

GLN: Some have said drawing the cards before other inducements is HUGE, allowing you to keep drawing or stop. Is it really a factor? Or as much a hindrance?

miyuso_: I must say, I plan my inducements, so I know how much I'm able to use on cards.
Kryten: I nearly always have decided before drawing a single card how many I will be purchasing, and the other inducements as well. The only exception would be a situation where I plan to draw four cards, and get the best two right off the bat.
mrt1212: If I get Pie or Spike Trap with 100 k I would consider a Babe but only against bash teams.
The_Provocateur: I think its a benefit for the people who plan ahead on how much they want to spend on inducements. You can see what cards you draw and what team functions you're lacking before you pick up Stars/Babes/Wizards.
Stimme: I find that inducements do (and were designed to) only make up a part of the TV difference. So it might improve them a bit, but I don't think it is a game changer.

GLN: OK, we're nearly done. Now there are probably anywhere up to 5 FUMBBLers still reading, what final thing would you like to say a) about Dirty Tricks cards and b) as a shout out to someone/thing on FUMBBL. Here is your chance to 'big up' and 'large it' or even pay 'due respec'.

miyuso_: Ncbb is where it's at!
Stimme: I just want to thank everyone who is participating in making this a fun and vivid place. I very much enjoy the community here.
The_Provocateur: I love the various inducement card functions in the game. They add much needed variety to a stale meta-game. Thank you Christer and Kalimar, I look foward to more decks being implemented!
Kryten: When Dirty Tricks were first introduced, I was worried they would be game changing and add a large random factor to the game. After many games with them, I would say they are priced well and provide some added fun to Blood Bowl.
mrt1212: Take a Dirty Trick and have fun with it. This game isn't always about playing perfectly. And a shout out to DA GREAT GOBBO for being there in our hearts and minds.

GLN: Who has made the most sense tonight?

mrt1212: Stimme: but he's on borrowed brain, or so I hear.
Stimme: Given the last sentence, definitely mrt1212.
The_Provocateur: The GLN reporter, he seemed to have most things planned out.
Kryten: Prov.

GLN: Finally then, is there anything I haven’t asked that really I should have?

Stimme: The greatest success and biggest fail someone ever had with a card?
Kryten: Most humorous play of a Dirty Trick card.
mrt1212: The most fun I've ever had with a card, at least in terms of pure "This is gonna rock" was when Kano on Italo Disco Kings BBL got Grom's Exploding Runes .
The_Provocateur: I think they pretty much covered it.

GLN: Thanks, they all sound like fun forum threads. Feel free to start them.

GLN: ...and good night!

During the Couch session the coaches were polled on three questions:

Q1: Not knowing any other factors and with 50 k to spend, Babe or Card?
Card 3
Babe 2

Q2: Same question but your team is Dwarves:
Card 4 ½
Babe ½

Q3: Would you ever have 3 cards instead of a Wizard?
Yes 2
No 3
But it should be noted one of the yes votes was ‘for fun’. :)

"There's nothing I can do against all your POW..."
"It's easy for you with all the 1s I roll..."

Does it sound familiar? Is it something you could say? Something you've heard during your last game?

Blood Bowl is a dice game, but there's a huge difference between Blood Bowl and your average game of chance. Both coaches don't roll the same number of dice, and each failed roll ends your turn. As a consequence, the more dice you roll, the more likely to suffer a turnover you are. Some of you already see where I'm going. You may be thinking lady Luck has turned her back on you during your last game. But have you ever wondered how many dice you rolled? And why you rolled them? And what did you roll first? You went for rolls the less likely to fail first? For the game-changing rolls? Or for the rolls that would affect the less your positioning in case of failure? Or was it completely random? And why did you have to roll dice in the first place? Because it's the game? Or maybe, maybe, because your opponent was not the lucker you think he is, but forced you to roll those dice?

I have recently joined the one true division for real menz on FUMBBL: the Stunty Leeg. Stunties have the less forgiving games you can think of. Most of them don't have G access, they can't throw the ball - or even sometimes pick it up - every block has a big chance of taking a player out of the pitch, there are Secret Weapons all over the place, with random consequences... Yeah, to the novice, Stunty games look like you could just flip a coin to determine the winner instead of playing 16 turns, the result would be the same. But if that was the case, why some do better than others in the division? How come we see coaches with a 80 % win ratio, and others with only 20 %? That's the questions we're going to try to answer in this article. It's going to be very Stunty oriented, since that's in those games the luck factor is the most important, and therefore provide the best illustration, but the same strategies apply to a lesser degree to any roster.

1) Know your luck

"Pfft... Another 1... What are the odds of a snake anyway?"

Yes, surprisingly, many coaches don't know their basics. So before we go any further, just in case, let me refresh your memory with some stats everybody should know.

Rolling a double skull / both down: 1/9
Rolling a POW (2 dice): 30 %
Rolling a POW (3 dice): 42 %
Rolling a POW (3 dice and a reroll): 66 %
Dodging with a Halfling: 1/9
Dodging with a rookie Elf: 1/6
Going for it twice: 69 %

You don't have to be a mathematics genius to play Blood Bowl, but it's always good to keep those stats in mind, as some of them are counter-intuitive. You may feel invincible because you have Dodge and you opponent doesn't have neither Block nor Tackle, but what if he goes 3d on you? You may feel unlucky because your Elfs fail their dodges and find normal that the Flings you're facing trip as they're only AG3, but they're actually more likely to succeed... And even if you fail... Remember that 1s happen. Every 6 times. How many times have you tried to doge exactly?

And even if you keep failing important rolls, like GFI to score, are you sure it means you're more unlucky than your opponent? You will notice those fails simply because the consequence is immediate: you roll a 1, you don't score that touchdown, you lose the game. Everyone can see that causal chain. But are you according as much importance to the lucky interception roll that put you in position to score baring this GFI for instance? And what about the other causal chains, way too complex for you to perceive? You know, that push you rolled on the first turn, whose consequence was 6 turns later, that the same player was one square short to blitz your ball carrier? Or that double skull you rolled that made your opponent block another guy instead of dodging away, which would have left one more unmarked player, needed to crush your offense 4 turns later? The truth is, every roll, every move, has consequences, and ultimately can be the key to success or failure. But those causal chains are way too complex for us to understand. We can only see the simplest ones. However, they count just as much. So in a few words: don't even talk about luck, because you don't have the tools, the scientific background, to assess it.

2) Never give up!

Never give up, because luck doesn't matter. Games can be unpredictable, especially Stunty games. You may have 10 players in the injury box, you may have rolled 10 double skulls in a row, it doesn't matter if you can pick up a ball in 5 Tackle Zones to steal a touchdown. What matters is not to fail those important rolls. So even if you're out-bashed, even if you have the feeling the game is over, don't let frustration overwhelm you. Don't lose your focus. Wait until an opportunity arise, and seize it!

The Elfs had the better team. The Flings tried to defend and somehow managed to score twice in return, but there was little they could against the superior speed of the Elfs. It should have been a 3-2 loss, but this happened... A great kick, a Fling running to the endzone, and their victory was sealed.

But of course, we're talking about extreme scenarios here. Most of the time, you rolls weren't your undoing. How you let them affect your game were. If you go "all men los", or if you position your best players only one square behind the line of scrimmage, can you really blame bad luck in case of Perfect Defence or Quick Snap events? No, you took a bet, and you lost. And what if you quad skull that blitz with the player who was protecting the ball carrier? You could have moved another player to protect him first, but you didn't. Of course, the odds were on your side, but you could have proceeded differently. I'm not saying you should always play the safest way, but if one want to improve his gameplay, he should check what he could have done differently instead of blaming luck. And that also helps with keeping his cool during the game when everything's falling apart. Frustration generally arise when people think there's nothing they could have done to prevent the disaster. Acknowledge your own mistakes, and your frustration may not completely disappear, but at the very least, it shouldn't overwhelm you anymore.

Oh, and one last thing to keep in mind when everything seems to be over: you won't roll 6s if you don't even try...

3) Play with Lady Luck

That's the fun part, and that's a strategy that isn't often talked about. Most guides mention the odds of being taken down when you mark a players, to know how safe the option is. Of course, sometimes, you don't care: you will mark the player, nomatter what, to make sure he can't freely blitz. But sometimes as well, you want to mark him for the sake of marking it, to make him roll more dice, because you know that, statistically, he's gonna fail one which is going to create an opening. That kind of strategy would be suboptimal versus Dwarves, but it's most effective versus teams with few "second chance" skills like Block, Dodge, Sure Hands, etc. And that includes all the Stunty teams, undeveloped Chaos, Pact, Slanns, Lizardmen, and many more.

The most unforgiving match you could ever imagine: 11 rookie Flings versus 11 rookie Flings, no bench, no reroll. Blue had the game won on the first turn when he decided to place all his players on the Line of Scrimmage. Red had two options: placing only 3 players on the LOS and dodging away (he would lose the advantage of starting the game, and would have to roll dice simply to retreat, leaving the whole opposing offense intact, and free to advance), or going all Flings LOS as well, but he would be outnumbered (he had to leave at least one player behind to grab the ball), and have to do a bunch of dodges for assisting or to do 1d blocks. In either case, he was screwed.

Everybody uses that strategy to some extant. That's what you do when you cover the ball for instance: you lower the odds your opponent picks it up (-1 to the roll per Tackle Zone), and you force him to roll extra dice with random consequences (to use two guys to blitz one of your players next to the ball, to eventually pop the ball out - we all know how bad that can end for him). Everybody uses that strategy to some extant, but you can push it even further.

First, you have to observe your opponent and watch how he plays. Is he the risk-taking type? Does he play very conservatively? Does he dodge as soon as he can? Never? Does he take a lot of 1d blocks? Observe him, and exploit his weaknesses. Force risk takers to roll even more dice, and wait for them to fail. Force conservative coaches to do moves they don't generally do if they want to stay in the game, and watch them hesitate during several turns, much to your advantage. And in the meantime, try to play as safe as you can.

The Orcs coach was playing very conservatively. The Ogres noticed he wasn't inclined to block 2d up, or to dodge. Their coach decided to mark as many players as he could with Ogres, and ended up not even blocking with them not to risk to free some Orcs after a failed Bonehead roll. It took several turns for the Orcs to try to dodge away, and they were already out of rerolls. That was already too late.

When you're playing with Flings, you have 3 ways to defend and take the ball carrier down. You can sacrifice a Fling and go 2d up against him - that's generally a last chance move, and don't expect it to work if he has blodge. You can do Stunty dodges to pass his screen and get assists - that's a lot of rolls, and that won't work against a standard X cage. Or a Tree with Break Tackle can blitz when he has a chance. To do so, you have to keep your opponents in the "death zone" (less than 4 squares away from your Trees) as long as possible. And that's when you want to mark his players (at least when they don't have Block). You will immobilize them, and you will make them roll more dice - remember: every 9th roll will fail. Wait for that to happen, and strike!

But you can use that strategy with other races as well. Don't be afraid to mark rookie Humans with a single Norse for instance, even if that means they're gonna have free blocks on the next turn. To do so, they're gonna have to move another player to assist, which will impact their positioning, and even then they will have 1/9 chance to suffer a turnover. And if they don't block, then you have the free block on the next turn.

And never stop making your opponent roll dice, even when the game seems over: you know... overtime, when the ball carrier next to the Touchdown line is out of blitzing range... Don't leave those players of yours prone. Offer him free blocks, bet on his greed, and start praying for a triple Skull. That won't happen if you don't try. Even in the most desperate situations, making your opponent roll more dice can be your only hope.

Maybe some of you read my previous blog about fouling? If you haven't, I strongly recommend doing so, as this article is a follow up on that.

During the LRB4 era, fouling was golden. The chance of ejection was small, and most attrition came from fouling. Gang fouls were common. This changed with LRB6 (CRP), as the Eye of the Ref was removed. The chance of ejection increased to about 30 % with the introduction of the "double" ejection roll. Referees are much sharper today than they were before, and not biased anymore by previous insults.

This change of the rules discouraged coaches, including myself, from fouling. Nobody likes losing a player about 30 % of the time. On the other hand, team composition has changed too. Instead of balanced teams, nowadays teams run with a few Super-stars or Legends, and the rest of the team are Rookies or near Rookies. Plus; the proliferation of Piling On and Wrestle has increased the chance of a really good player lying on the ground. These effects and their relation to fouling inspired me, and thus led to the reintroduction of fouling to my playbook.

In the tactical guide below you will find the theory behind fouling, the maths, the profit and loss expectation, some implications on team building and some personal examples. I hope you enjoy it, and may apply it to your playbook (or at least be generally aware of its presence), thus improving your level of gaming.

Theory & Maths

In the blog, I stated that, I had a paradigm shift regarding fouling around 27th April 2015. There is strong maths behind my theory, so fasten your seatbelt!

1. Most teams sport 1-2 Super-Star or Legendary players which cost north of 200 k in TV. These teams are usually trimmed so that teams with evenly distributed skills can't catch them in a "fair" game, which results in no bench, or a narrow bench

2. Fouling (assuming armour is broken) has about a 1/6 chance to injure a player, and a 44 % chance to eliminate him from the pitch (assuming no Thick Skull)

3. The chance of being sent off is about 30 %. So if you foul with a player which costs 70 k, then you lose on average 20 k on each foul (this is player value multiplied by ejection assuming an armour break)

4. If you foul a player which costs 240 k, assuming you get an armour break, you injure about 40 k in TV on average (injuries happen on an injury roll of 10-12. This represents a chance of 6 / 36, or 1 / 6. So if you apply these odds to the player costing 240 TV, then 240 / 6 = 40 TV). The break even point is at about 130 TV if you discount the possibility of a KO, and the possibility of not breaking armour (but being ejected)

5. The maths change dramatically if the player still costs the same 70 k, but has Dirty Player. The player then breaks even around 80 k. So a 2 skilled Wardancer is well beyond the break even range

6. In a case where your opponent does not have a bench and you do, a 'double elimination' is certainly a profit. Playing 9 Vs. 7 is much better than 12 Vs. 10.

The maths say that fouling is a strong strategy. Maybe not strong enough to be a base strategy, but it sounds like a strong plan B with a very low investment of 1-2 skills.

Two Weeks of the New Strategy

Time to verify the data! Let's start with the statistics. Let's see if there is a different win percentage compared to previous playbooks. Please note that the two weeks in question saw me playing Blackbox most of the time, but I also played some other games. So it is an 'apples to apples' comparison with my overall winning rate.

My statistics in the two weeks in question (for 23 games played) are as follows:

Wins: 19 Draws: 3 Losses: 1

Which is an 89 % win percentage. My win percentage was not bad before that (74 %), but it represents a significant improvement of 15 %.

Fouling Statistics

- Fouling rate before the 27th of April: 0.37 fouls per game on average (thanks Wreckage!)

- Fouling rate of the most recent two weeks:

- Total Games: 23 - Total Fouls: 54

- Average number of fouls per game: 2.35

- This is about 2 fouls more than before

- Number of games with at least 3 fouls: 8, or 35 % of total games

- I set the benchmark at 3, as about 3 fouls are needed on average to injure a player

Please note that I don't force turn 16 fouls. The vast majority of fouls were tactical.

What I do Differently When I Build a Team Now Using the Above Fouling Statistics

1. I make sure I have a bench. 11 players is a no-go for most of the time

2. I usually have a larger bench than before

3. I treat Dirty Player as a legitimate first skill choice on Zombie, Amazon Linewoman, Norse lineman, Hobgoblin

4. I look to turn the 2-1 grind upside down. It means that if the opponent receives first, and I have hard time stopping him, then I try to do as much damage as possible (sometimes even conceding the score) so that I have a legitimate chance to score twice in the second half. It even worked against Chaos. Note that this is not the preferred route to winning, but rather a Plan C. Anyway, this is a recent development in my playbook.

Fun Facts

1. "My first Chaos Dwarf experience" (yes it is the team name and yes it is true) just leveled up their first Hobgoblin. He got Dirty Player

2. My Norse teams are aiming at 2 Dirty players (I wrote previously that only the important positions should be doubled to make the team efficient)

3. Teams with Regeneration and a bench should do the same!

Still Skeptical About What to do?

The numbers suggest that fouling works. They also confirmed that fouling is not a Plan A, but a strong Plan B or C for many teams. If it does not work for you, then don't do it! It does not work in every situation for every team and for every coach. But, it is one of the tools which you should be aware of. Maybe your opponent will read my thesis and act accordingly. Stay tuned, be prepared!

Last Words

Fouling is a profitable business, but there is no guarantee that it works every time you use it. It needs dice! So, if you will win without it, then don't roll dice. However, when you need an extra edge, this is a good place to find it.

/Hurt !!!!!!

Orcs are generally considered one of the tier one races in Blood Bowl. They are certainly one of the most popular. And what’s not to like? They have good strength, reasonable speed and agility, access to strength skills and are as tough as 5 day old lamb. As a result Orcs are, unsurprisingly, one of the most-played races. But how do you rise above the mediocrity? Here’s how...

Get Better!

Just kidding. So let’s discuss overall philosophy first before we come down to specifics. Orcs are a bashy team yes, but many coaches make them one-dimensional in this sense. Orcs' biggest weakness is their AG3 and average pace so that should be the focus of improvement. The easiest way to do this is through the Blitzers.

Blitzers

So many times I see Blitzers with MB, PO, Frenzy, etc, which is fine on one of them, but he should be your most expendable. You see, Blitzers have only two useful basic skills: Tackle and Guard. But what about Mighty Blow and Piling On I hear you cry? Here’s why... They are the players where your best chance lies of making up for your lack of Elves. Ignore the fact they are called Blitzers. Take any stat going and on a double take Dodge. Should no doubles come along, then get Guard then Tackle as they will still be needed later should some gifts come along. If nothing still comes, then take MB, PO etc, but it should be as a last resort. Now, obviously your team is not looking particularly bashy at the moment, but we’re okay, here come the BOBs.

Black Orcs

Except... You’re not going to spam MB, PO here either, at least not at first. Block is an essential first skill for a BOB. Ignore all doubles and stats at this point except +ST. BOBs take an age to skill up and you don’t want to be desperately trying to get your Sidestep guy up to 31 spp. MB as a first skill is an option to speed things up, but overall I have found Block first helps your short-term results and MB second then gets things moving. After MB, then Guard is next, as all your BOBs need Guard before PO. Orcs are, or at least should be, a finesse team. To be successful against a wide variety of opponents you need to be able to control the pitch and mass-Guard will let you do this. Once you have Block, MB and Guard, then doubles start to become interesting for SS, but basically you then need Tackle and PO. A BOB with five basic skills is an awesome player.

Linemen

Take any stat going and Guard on a double, unless they already have a stat in which case Dodge is your friend. Linos are dirt cheap and with a good rolls or two can easily become your fifth Blitzer or BOB, however if you don’t take that first skill movement stat which doesn’t look that useful, how will you find out? If they roll a normal, then take DP – every Orc team needs a couple, and they will compensate for your Blitzers being Elven gods. Kick is also well worth taking on a Lino who has ran out of viable alternative skill choices (e.g. has Block, Guard and rolls a normal) or on a DP as a second skill if MVPs take them over 16. Kick can swing games so you should ideally have it somewhere.

Trolls

Not worth it in my opinion unless your team is already so bloated that a little more can make little difference. Should you have one, Guard, Block on a double, standard big-guy build is as good as he can do. I’d be tempted by Block over +ST on a double six, as a Troll without Block is really limited.

Throwers

Like Trolls, a bit defunct due to how we are building our Blitzers. One is worth considering should you want a passing option, or access to Leader, but generally I’d say don’t bother.

Rerolls

You want somewhere between three and five – three at lower TV and four at higher. Four is plenty, though if you are at a point where bloat doesn’t matter, five would be worth indulging in.

How many players?

Orcs are fairly tough, but as you go up the ratings so are your opponents. For low to middle TV 12 is plenty (perhaps 13 with one DP) but at higher ratings 14 has proven optimum in my experience. At this rating you will face teams with skills like Claw who mock your armour and you are also likely to lose a DP or two to the ref so cover is needed. For mass DP Linos, or a real bloater team, then why not go to 15 or 16? Let’s see those Claws leave you short-manned now (disclaimer: you probably will still see those Claws leave you short-manned)!

Team Building

I generally focus on getting BOBs the SPP wherever possible (e.g. handing over when the game is won) but I would not recommend doing this when there is still something at stake, as AG2 is asking for trouble. The main players we want SPPs on are the BOBs and Blitzers. Blitzers will accrue points simply by being on the pitch, as their highest speed and agility for the team makes them natural scorers and Block means they will do their share of hitting early on. BOBs have to grind out SPP so give them any help you can. Sooner or later an MVP will hit a Lino and then a completed pass will get them DP. At this point we don’t want them to get any more skills, as there is nothing really worth having apart from Kick if you are lacking one. Linos with skills, e.g. early AG, are worth skilling to get them good before they die due to lack of Block.

Strategy

The key part. In theory we have now built a team that can handle anything, so how we play them depends on the race and build of the team we are facing. If we are the bashier, then our BOBs and DPs can grind them down, whilst our Blitzers can support and look for gaps to attack on defence and to defend the ball on attack (sounds odd, but it makes sense). If we are the weaker in terms of bash, then it becomes all about our Guard positioning to slow down and ultimately stop the opposition, while again our Blitzers probe and harry. Obviously this won’t work all the time and if ClawPOMB is on fire, or Elves are ignoring your tacklezones, then you might be out of luck, but in most match ups we stand a decent chance. Good luck!

On April 12, 2013 I decided to devote the majority of my FUMBBL time to filling the Blackbox Grid. The task seemed daunting, but having played about 5500 Blackbox games at the time, The Grid was filled about three-quarter of the way. Interestingly enough, motivation was the most challenging issues with this quest. After doing some self-analysis, I knew that I needed both a carrot, and a whip to stay on task.

Racing Jundru and others to the top, in Dalfort’s “Fill the Box Grid group,” presented the award and recognition sufficient to supply my carrot. As for the whip, I vowed to shelf my favorite team (the infamous WMD’s in the Box) until the task was complete.

I was asked what surprised me most, and what I learned from playing all of the races while filling the Blackbox Grid.

Surprise

Playing the more painful matches were some of the most fun, to my surprise. In hindsight, perception and expectations are a big part of what allow us to derive fun from this and other games. In the matches where the odds were skewed heavily in favor of my opponent (Halflings vs. Dwarfs for example), I had no expectation of coming out with a win, or a team, and therefore; all sense of conservatism, or strategy were often thrown into the wind, and chances for rolling long bombs, or -2d pows were taken at every turn. I may not have won many of the ill-suited matches, but I certainly had a lot of fun with them.

About Playing all of the Races

With around 9000 FUMBBL games going in, I was pretty familiar with the majority of the races. Some points were certainly reinforced though.

I hold a special admiration for Ogre coaches. I find Ogre teams very challenging with the reduced number of ogres and loss of goblins in the current edition. I struggled to stay competitive with Ogres. For all of their low points, Throw Team-Mate can make Ogre games very exciting with a healthy amount of luck.

Slaan are often over-looked as a good team. I have been raked over the coals by happygrue’s Slaan for years. I attributed his success to a brilliant mixture of luck and strategy. I still haven’t changed my opinion there. But, given enough games, as we all know, the averages work out. With enough games, in the hands of an average or better coach, Slaan should have more wins than losses, I believe. They do take development, like Lizardmen, or Chaos, but with all of the leaping ability, and with four agility 4 players, they are a good team.

The Coaches of Fummbl

I had the pleasure of playing versus a lot of new coaches or those that stay in the low end of the TV range that I would not draw often. Special recognition goes to cdassak, who joined FUMBBL shortly before I went into full-time grid-filling mode. Cdassak plays a great number of games in the Blackbox during my gaming hours, and bowl bot managed to pair us up for a few of the more obscure matchups. We had a lot of good banter and fun. I did grow a little suspicious when FUMBBL seemed to crash only when cdassak was online, but that is a story for another article.

Completion

On June 23rd, 2014 I completed the grid in 6610 games. Fourteen months were necessary to complete the last twenty-five percent of the challenge. Now almost a year later, in reflection, I am glad I was able to undertake, and complete this challenge. None of this would be possible without Christer, and the good coaches here. Thanks to everyone, and see you on the pitch!

Inspired by the plethora of Cyanide YouTube activity and the slight paucity of the equivalent for FUMBBL (with a nod to Ehlers who came before me) I have had a go at YouTubing a few different things on the site in order to suck people in - here's how I went about it.

I started with a combination of Debut screen capture, Audacity recording software and Windows Movie Maker to join the two together. Debut allows you to capture a rectangle of your screen as a video, so could capture just the FUMBBL window. I then spoke along with whatever was happening and recorded it in Audacity, and was also able to go back and edit the recording if I felt it was needed. The downside was the many hours that Movie Maker needed to process the video, and then the many hours to upload.

Using this technique, I did a few different things, including a tactical analysis of a few Lizardman games, a couple of fun games with random commentary, and introductions to Ranked, Blackbox and the RTTNAFC tournament, and you can find all of these on the YouTube! channel.

With YouTube however, you can do Live Events, and this reduced the processing time considerably as the video went live straight away. Though there is less flexibility in editing, I found I wasn't doing much editing anyway, so it wasn't a huge problem. In order to live stream, I downloaded Open Broadcast Software (OBS), which is again free, and you can select a particular window to stream, or combine different elements in once scene (putting overlays etc. on to identify your channel).

So what's the point? One of the great things about FUMBBL is the replay function, which means you can hover over players to your heart's content, fast forward, pause and rewind. How is this better? The audio is the big difference really, hopefully an insight into what the other coaches are thinking. I also recorded the RTTNAFC final recently, which had the commentary included and all the spectator noises.

Inspired by the different ways that video could be used, I moved on to recording tabletop Blood Bowl, which has its own challenges. Hope this inspires more people to produce commentated matches or perhaps segments of replays - ideas also welcome. I've been planning for a while to do one that shows all the possibilities of the tool, plus one on test mode. In terms of commentary a "joint commentary" would be interesting, with a recorded match and two people discussing it on Skype.

The possibilities are endless...

Fumbbl az recently gained a numba o new playas, an spectator figures iz up. Owevva der atmosfear in der growndz iz getting wurse. Sadly sum spekz view a Blud Bowl match az an opportunity ter eat prawn sanwiches an sit kwietly fer an hour or so. Dis iz ded rong, so I az produced dis informative an elpful guide to der art o spekkin games properly.

Rule Wun: Pikk a teem

Soundz obvius dunnit but sum people (espeshully Bright Crusaders fanz) want to clap gud play by both teems an sit on der fence. Well I az set fire ter der bluddy fence so get on wun side or der ovva before yew burnz ter deff.

Rule B: Mek sum noise

Now yew az picked a teem ter support it is yer job ter influence der game in yer teemz favour. Der arr many wayz to do dis, yew kud start a riot, invade der pitch, frow a rokk or wotevva but der bestest fing yew kan do iz annoy der opposishun koach wiv konstant booin, laffin an tawntin so dat dey getz mad at yew an startz mekkin mistakes. So ow does yer get gud at bein annoyin?

Rule free: Der iz no rule free

Rule fore: Drink lotsa grog

Alkyhol iz proven ter reduce inhibishun, improve der singin o rude songz, enhance yer fitin abilities an mek der opposite sex look moar attraktive. Basikally it iz every gud fanz bestest frend so drink lotsa it before, durin an afta spekkin der game. Top tip, make sure yer grog iz in a glass bottle so dat yew kan frow it at der opposishun or smash it ter stab sumwun wiv. Rule C: Tek it persunally.

Wunce der game az begun everyfin der opposishun koach does iz dun to get at yew personally. Don’t tek dis kinda abuse! Talk smakk bout dem behind der bakks in der spek konversashun box an qweshtun dere sexual orientashun. Ee iz not skorin tuchdurns ter win der game, ee iz doin it koz yew arr iz bitch!

Rule Lotz: Don’t stop

Despite wot anywun sayz der moar yew do it der moar annoyin it gets. Watch ow many timez a koach starts off with sum friendly banta wiv der specs only ter be spittin bile by der sekund alf.

Now yew az bin told ow ter spectate gamez I wantz ter ear loads moar noise in future. Annoy dem koaches!

What's bio? Fluff made pretty. Bios are one of the best things on FUMBBL. They help win games. They make the crowd cheer for your team. They're stronger than Nuffle, stronger than the RNG... You want to win tournaments? Then start pimping your team. Oh no, I'm not talking about pixel hugging or so-called rules of 5. I'm talking about that empty space above your roster on your team page.

In this article, we're gonna follow the creation of a bio for my Amazon team, Divorce Worthy, step by step. What do we need for that?

• A concept, to fluff it up.
• An image manipulation program such as the GIMP.
• Basic bbcode knowledge.
• Talent.

Let's start with the concept. I hate that team. I hate Zons. But I've been quite successful with them. I won the XFL last year and I could do it again in a few weeks, so I think they deserve a nice bio. Fine, let's take all that hatred towards Zons and turn it into fluff. The bio should revolve around destroying other Zon teams, injuries inflicted, deaths... That should be a good start.

Now how are gonna do that? I could code a simple table with all the Zons injured, but that would be too easy, and boring. No, we need a better concept, something original. Instead, I could use an image of a Blood Bowl pitch, with blood splashes representing the injuries and pop ups showing who was injured and when. It's not gonna be easy, but heck... when you want something pretty...

First, we need to find an image of the pitch. We can either take a screenshot of a replay or extract the files of the client and rip it off.

It's looking good, but let's make it more chaotic. Let's add some of those craters we found when we were exploring the resources of the client.

OK, that's good enough. Let's not overdo it.

Unfortunately, the horizontal space is limited, and this image would be too large for the bio, so let's rotate it.

That should do the trick. We can now upload it to our gallery - and while we're at it, we're also going to upload the blood splashes we found when extracting the client resources - we will use them later.

We can now start coding. We're going to create a note and use it as a sandbox.

There are several ways to do what we want to do. We could cut the whole image into zillions of squares, duplicate each square to make a "blood splash" version of every one of them, and turn them into buttons. Instead, we're going to use a trick to turn the pitch into a background picture, and we will add those blood splashes as a new layer.

To do so, we're gonna wrap it in a block=floatcontainer, and we're gonna tell your browser that block is only 1px wide. The whole image is gonna be printed, but the next block=floatleft should start at only 1px from the edge, above the image of the pitch.

Let's try it out:

[block=floatcontainer]\ [block=floatleft width=1px][img]https://fumbbl.com/i/452452[/img][/block]\ [block=floatleft]Test text[/block]\ [/block]

It's working as expected, "Test Text" is where it should be, we can continue.

The goal is to list the Zons we have injured or killed so far, so here's the boring part: we're gonna have to watch all the replays to see were on the pitch it happened, and add the blood splashes accordingly. Fortunately, I don't play that team much, and that's only seven games versus other Amazon teams.

Let's start with the first injury. it happened on row 12 (the los), column 9 (we start at 0 to make the maths easier). each square is 30x30px, so that blood splash should be at 30*12=360px from the top of the pitch, and 30*9=270px from the left edge. We're gonna try it out:

[block=floatcontainer]\ [block=floatleft width=1px height=782px][img]https://fumbbl.com/i/452452[/img][/block]\ [block=floatleft height=782px width=450px]\ \ [block=floatleft height=360px width=450px]Vertical spacing[/block]\ [block=floatleft height=30px width=270px]Horizontal spacing[/block]\ [block=floatleft height=30px width=30px][img]https://fumbbl.com/i/452458[/img]Blood Splash[/block]\ \ [/block]\ [/block]

So far so good. The blood splash is where it's supposed to be. But wait... We've used empty blocks as spacers, but what if we have to add more blood splashes inside those spacers? We could do it, but that would be a nightmare to code. I guess we have no choice but to split them and create one block per square on the pitch. That's 390 squares... It's gonna be a long bio, for sure, but that's probably the best way to do it. Fortunately, CTRL+V is out friend.

Let's do it for the first row, to see if it works:

[block=floatcontainer]\ [block=floatleft width=1px height=782px][img]https://fumbbl.com/i/452452[/img][/block]\ [block=floatleft height=782px width=450px]\ \ [block=floatleft height=30px width=30px]1[/block]\ [block=floatleft height=30px width=30px]2[/block]\ [block=floatleft height=30px width=30px]3[/block]\ [block=floatleft height=30px width=30px]4[/block]\ [block=floatleft height=30px width=30px]5[/block]\ [block=floatleft height=30px width=30px]6[/block]\ [block=floatleft height=30px width=30px]7[/block]\ [block=floatleft height=30px width=30px]8[/block]\ [block=floatleft height=30px width=30px]9[/block]\ [block=floatleft height=30px width=30px]10[/block]\ [block=floatleft height=30px width=30px]11[/block]\ [block=floatleft height=30px width=30px]12[/block]\ [block=floatleft height=30px width=30px]13[/block]\ [block=floatleft height=30px width=30px]14[/block]\ [block=floatleft height=30px width=30px]15[/block]\ \ [/block]\ [/block]

Yes it does. Now we simply have to copy and paste that set of blocks... 26 times, once per row. I let you imagine what the code looks like.

Note: as the code is insanely long and repetitive, we're also adding notes with the row number before each set of block to know where we're at:

[block=hidden]Row 1[/block]\

It's just for our reference: your browser won't print it.

Back to that blood splash now. We want to turn it into a button so it shows infos about the injured player when pressed.

(...) [block=hidden]Row 13[/block]\ [block=floatleft height=30px width=30px][/block]\ [block=floatleft height=30px width=30px][/block]\ [block=floatleft height=30px width=30px][/block]\ [block=floatleft height=30px width=30px][/block]\ [block=floatleft height=30px width=30px][/block]\ [block=floatleft height=30px width=30px][/block]\ [block=floatleft height=30px width=30px][/block]\ [block=floatleft height=30px width=30px][/block]\ [block=floatleft height=30px width=30px][/block]\ [block=floatleft height=30px width=30px][toggle=image src=https://fumbbl.com/i/452458 group=b block=Jeniakus][block=hidden roup=b width=95px id=Jeniakus][img]https://fumbbl.com/i/318577[/img]Col. Jeniakus (MNG)[/block][/block]\ [block=floatleft height=30px width=30px][/block]\ [block=floatleft height=30px width=30px][/block]\ [block=floatleft height=30px width=30px][/block]\ [block=floatleft height=30px width=30px][/block]\ [block=floatleft height=30px width=30px][/block]\ (...)

We could make it prettier, but it's good enough for now. Let's do that for every player injured now...

All done!

OK, it's looking good, but it's not enough. The readers won't necessarily understand what it's about, so we have to explain it. The team has also earned a few trophies so we could make a section about them. It looks like we're gonna have 3 sections then... We need a menu. Oh, and while we're at it, we could also use a nice header. Let's start with that.

If you're as bad at drawing as I am, you may want to look for artwork on the internet, starting with akaRenton's library and Google Images.

It's decent enough after some resizing.

Now he have to draw that menu...

Done. It didn't take too long. Now we have to cut the menu in 3 different images - one for each button - and upload the lot. Once approved, we can start coding:

[img]https://fumbbl.com/i/452470[/img] [block=floatleft width=201px height=34px][toggle=image src=https://fumbbl.com/i/452465 group=menu block=1][/block]\ [block=floatleft width=200px height=34px][toggle=image src=https://fumbbl.com/i/452464 group=menu block=2][/block]\ [block=floatleft width=199px height=34px][toggle=image src=https://fumbbl.com/i/452466 group=menu block=3][/block]

It's taking shape. We could stop here, but we're going to pimp it a bit more and wrap this wall of text in a nice frame:

That's it, all done. The team is now ready for that XFL semi-final! It's not our best work, but if it wasn't for that Blood Bowl pitch, it wouldn't have taken too long. We also were expecting that Blood Bowl pitch to look better, but that's how it works: you can never know until you try. Remember: the first step when creating a bio is to come up with a nice idea. Then you work around that idea, add sections, pimp it, until eventually you come up with a better idea and start over.

The bio can be viewed in action here. The code is available here. Happy coding!

1. JOURNEY TO ITZA

The ruined city of Xhotl sat brooding in the clearing as the morning sun rose on Lustria's southern jungles. Sacred spawning pools sat brooding beside the long abandoned walls of the City of Destiny as a gentle breeze formed little disturbances on the surface of the languid waters.

Nothing had occurred here in aeons as the great cataclysm that had befallen the temple city was long past. Rumours persisted that the Old One's plan continuted to involve Xhotl in some way, yet none apart from a few believed that there could be any chance of a recover of the city's fortunes. The occasional patrol still did their circuit of the ruins with bored eyes before returning to more important duties in different parts of the continent.

Ignored, abused and half forgotten, the city had once been a glorious place of pilgrimage where many younger Slann and Lizardmen came to pay homage to the Great Plan. All this was gone. And the shrines to the Old Ones lay vacant. Untouched by any, they seemed, if any building could ever be, waiting for something...

The gentle ripples on the spawning pool became more pronounced. The serene waters gradually began to become frenzied, the bubbling and sloshing splitting the eerie silence that pervaded their surroundings. Frothing and boiling the spawning pool reached a tremendous crescendo which sent animals fleeing and birds to the skies in abject terror.

And then, silence. With only the lapping of the waves indicating what had occurred.

Many hundreds of kilometres away, for the first time in centuries, eyes flew open...

The waters of the spawning pool gradually rose and split as a dark shape rose and shook itself. No living creature was there to bear witness to this momentous event occurring for the first time in memory. Eyes opened and the shape made it's way uncertainly to the edge of the pool and laboriously made it's way to the bank where it lay breathing heavily. Xholmundi looked around and blinked slowly. Unsure of himself he simply watched the pool that he had just come from as it split again. "My brothers" he breathed as shapes started emerging from his pool and other dotted around the clearing disgorging others who cautiously viewed their surroundings before making their way to him. "Xholtoc" he said "Finally we have emerged". The other Slann looked at him and slowly nodded his head.

They watched as 7 more of their spawning came on to solid ground for the first time. Still disoriented by their situation, the ten sat heavily, unsure of what to do next. And yet, each viewed the ruins of Xhotl with optimism believing that they were part of the Great Plan and would be able to restore the City of Destiny to its former glory. As they swept their eyes over the ruins an ear-splitting roar made them start.

Many hundreds of kilometres away, for the first time in centuries, a face split with a smile...

They turned to see an enormous creature come from the furthest pool. Shaking it's craggy head from side to side it gradually made way towards the group. "By the Old Ones" Xholmundi muttered, "It's a Kroxigor! Truly we are blessed". Xholtoc and the others agreed and as a group they moved deeper in to the city. At it's peak, at the very top of the ziggurat that dominated the vista they found the temple. Open and inviting. As they made their way inside they saw, in pride of place in the centre of the room an oblong object. Surrounded on the walls by carved images of Slann from days long past running and jumping in strange armour, with the oblong being an integral part of the mosaics and carvings it spoke to them on a primal and insinctual level. They watched in awe as a shaft of sunlight illuminated the oblong and a plaque behind it that read, "This ball brought glory to Xhotl once as it shall be once again".

The same thought came to their heads, almost as if it had been placed there... They must band together and bring glory to the Slann. They must enact their part of the Great Plan.

Many hundreds of kilometres away, for the first time in centuries, a voice laughed...

Xholmundi heard the laugh as if it was right next to him. As he wildly turned this way and that trying to determine who had desecrated the serenity of such a holy place he heard a voice clearly talk to him. The voice simply stated that this spawning was chosen for great things.

That they would become as legendary as gods. But that this was only the first step on a long and arduous journey. A journey they must undertake to fulfill the Great Plan. But first, they must make their way to Hexoatl. On the way they would face maddening visions, enemies and distractions but it was essential that they came to meet him.

"Who are you?" asked Xholmundi.

"Why, that is easy" said the voice in his head. "I am Lord Mazdamundi"... Continuing, the voice asked "And what shall you call your group of destiny?". Xholmundi considered and said aloud...

"Lord Mazdamundi. If we are to be as gods as you say, then we must believe ourselves to be their equals. We shall be gods. The Sun Gods..." he roared aloud, "XHOTL SUN GODS!". He felt the approval in his mind as the presence receded and the others nooded their head in agreement. They had all heard it.

As one, they left the temple and made their way in to the jungle.

The Sun Gods made their way in to the clearing.

Disoriented by the sunlight after days in the jungle they saw hazy silhouettes approaching and were immediately on guard. As they regained their vision they saw armoured creatures limbering up and throwing an oblong around that looked like the one from the temple. The apparent leader of the group slowly sauntered towards them.

The creature said that these were from Ulthuan, a name that some of the Slann knew by reputation having never seen it themselves and she offered them a game of Blood Bowl. Xholmundi enquired as to what he meant and in reply the Elf simply pointed at what they called the "ball".

The team had never played before but they more than held their own. Using their in built knowledge they used old tactical techniques to limit movement of the Elves as best they could. Losing Hextep to a block early they managed to do this at a numerical disadvantage that gave them hope for the rest of the match. In the second half, the Slann started damaging the Elves managing to break their glorious crafted armour. Yet, their inexperience showed.

They allowed a single Elf to make her way to the ball carrier and she haughtily knocked him to the ground. The ball stayed loose and the game fizzled out to a 0-0 draw. As the game was over, the Sun Gods tensed not knowing what the Elves had in mind. The leader simply inclined her head in respect of the Sun Gods efforts and stated that as the Slann had shown courage in their attempts that they would go on their way and not detain them any longer.

As the Elves melted in to the undergrowth, the Sun Gods slowly started to breathe again. Tlaxconqua roared his approval towards the skies as the rest of the team considered the events they had taken part in. Their first game and they had not been ashamed. They had managed to break even and, in doing so, gave themselves fresh confidence that they would make it to Hexoatl to see what was in store for them.

With Hextep bandaged and lain on a stretcher by a passing Skink Priest that agreed to help the team on their quest, the Sun Gods made their way towards Hexoatl again. They knew not why the Skink priest was there or how he had known what was to happen and it was not a question they felt the desire to ask.

One step at a time.

The Sun Gods had wandered for days, not lost as such, just deep in contemplation from their first ever game. "Xholmundi?" asked Xholtoc, "What is our plan?". The captain considered this and the mood was hushed as they tried to gauge what Xholmundi might be thinking.

"We must make our way to Hexoatl. There we may find allies on our quest. I hear that they Slann there are quite fast and tricky which may aid us on our journey". The others nodded as it made perfect sense. At that moment however, they noticed Tlaxconqua peering intently at the horizon where the low foothills were shrouded in an afternoon fog. "What is wrong?" they asked. Tlaxconqua simply grunted as they made out more of the lithe "Elves" that had bedevilled them in their first ever game.

Yet these were different. They wore antique masks and less armour. Clearly intended to aid their movement. The Sun Gods were well aware how slippery they could be and they groaned inwardly as they considered how they were to stop them in the event they received another challenge. Wordlessly, the two disparate group lined up on the grass and instinctively the Elven players made their way in to a spread formation. Xholmundi nodded to the others and they agreed that they would give them the ball first and see what could be done.

It started poorly.

The Elves were a whirlwind of movement. Even though they appeared rusty in making some mistakes, when it counted they slipped away like the fog that had clouded the surface. Xholtoc himself tried in vain to stop a score with the Elf simply too agile to allow even a desperation tackle from the young blitzer. Tlaxconqua was enraged as the Sun Gods got the ball back. The Elves harried them mercilessly but Tenqhex managed to leap over the stunned Elves and pass to Xholmundi who sprinted for the end zone as fast as he could. The delight on his face was obvious as he scored the first ever TD for the team. Mobbed by his teammates he could only exhort them to keep up the pressure as they would receive the ball again. By now they had an advantage thanks to a journeyman who had joined them. He told the team that he would help them to field 11 players as he was on a spiritual quest of his own.

The team used their unusual tackling skills as the game continued trapping the unsuspecting Elves and allowing for them to gang up on the remaining opposition players. Xholmundi was on fire and managed to score again late in the second half of the game thanks to some excellent work by his unsung brothers. They were delighted at the final result which was a victory all of them could be proud of.

As for the Elves, they were the epitome of their noble race, shaking hands with the Sun Gods before seeming to simply vanish such was their grace and movement. The journeyman revealed himself as a temple guardian and gave Xholmundi a crafted glass jug with some liquid in it.

"In honour of your great victory Xholmundi".
"What is it?" Xholmundi asked.
"A secret elixir given to those who are touched by the Old Ones. Drink... DRINK!!".

As Xholmundi drank he felt his mind quicken and open to possibilities that he had not seen before. He felt more alert and agile and smiled softly. He turned to the rest of the team and looked at them all in turn.

"Onwards".

As the fatigued team continued to shuffle along the weed-strewn pathways of southern Lustria thoughts began to encroach on their minds about just how difficult their task, whatever it was, was going to be. So far they had found an easy camaraderie that made these dark and forbidding thoughts stay at a distance. They had been victorious and it was with optimism that they came upon another group of Elves that were making their way east.

These Elves looked different though. Not for them was the easy arrogance of their brethren as they appeared disciplined and alert upon the Sun God's approach. Xholmundi approached what appeared to be their leader, a grizzled Elf with an ornate helmet upon his head. After terms for a game were decided the Sun Gods took their places in order to defend what they knew would be a breakneck attack. And so it went...

The dizzying kaleidoscope of movement had the team on the back foot from the start with mistakes being the order of the day for the as yet inexperienced side. Furthermore, Tlaxconqua appeared disoriented managing to tangle himself up with one of the lesser Elves and come tumbling to the ground. The young Kroxigor seemed all at sea and struggled to get up to speed so soon after his previous efforts. With a roar however, he got to his feet and smashed a poor Elf to the ground. The act smacked of poorly constrained anger and Xholmundi gritted his teeth as he saw the difficult situation the team was put in.

Perhaps he should have paid more attention to himself!

From out of nowhere an Elf pushed him off the pitch and on to some sharp rocks that dazed and confused him. He could only watch as the game continued, the harried Sun Gods trying to plug gaps that were appearing with ever increasing frequency. As the Elves managed to score the Sun Gods came together to discuss the goings on.

"Tlaxcoqua." said Xholtoc, "What on earth is happening, Brother?"
As usual, the Kroxigor only grunted and shook his head, his barely suppressed rage evident to all. "We can still gan respect here" said Xholmundi who had returned to the pitch, "We must keep organised and the Gods will shine on us". The Old Ones can be capricious when teaching a lesson though. The second period saw all organisation go by the wayside, the Elves irrepressible and unstoppable as they ran rings around the poor Slann. The match degenerated in to farce. Techniques were found wanting and the team spent more time on their rear ends than managing to take the fight to the opposition.

2-0...

3-0...

Errors of judgement and lapses of skill saw a fourth score run in. By now it was total disarray and the poor Slann just wanted it to be over. They knew that there would be trials and tribulations, yet the young ones were struggling to see the lessons that were being taught to them. Lessons such as strength in numbers, consistency, support for your friends, the kind of lessons that would be invaluable in times to come. The game ended and Tenqheq and Xholmundi made their way up to the Elven leader.

"You have great potential" he gravely intoned. The Slann dipped their heads in respect. "A mganificent game" stated Tenqheq baldly, "you were too good for us". "On this occasion we were, but you must not be disheartened as sometimes we have days such as these. My party used to be many, but now we are fragmented and bowed seeking only to return home." The two teams shared what they had in the way of provisions and both went on their way.

"Xholmundi." A voice said from out of nowhere.
"Lord Mazdamundi?"
"Yes. It is I. I hope you have all learned a valuable lesson."
"Indeed, Lord. We have learned that we must support our friends. If we may do so there is nothing we cannot achieve."
"Correct. Now..." said the voice, "consider this a gift from the old ones"...

As the voice faded, a golden nimbus of light began to play around Tlaxconqua's features. The others gaped, spellbound as the massive lizard turned to them. A slow smile dawning on his face...

"Tlaxconqua know how to block".

It was nearing the end of a long day on the road.

The cobbles seemed to go on forever and it was becoming more and more obvious that the Sun Gods needed to rest. They stopped by the side of the ancient road and set a fire in order to cook the meagre provisions that they had with them. As the fire crackled away shadows seem to dance around and the wan light flickered as the players rested.

All of a sudden, Xholmundi sat up. As if a little voice in his head had alerted him to imminent danger he looked around to see that a single shadow near the edge of the fire was not moving in the gloom like the others. He barked out a challenge. "Who are you? What do you want?" he demanded. As the others began to chuckle at him, the shadow stepped forward and resolved itself in to the slender shape of an Elf.

This Elf was not like the others the Sun Gods had encountered before. He had a haughty yet haggard expression and he seemed somewhat jittery as he surveyed the scene. Other shadows stepped forward and there was an unspoken challenge in their postures. Xholmundi raised his teammates who were now totally alert and in the shadows of the roaring fire the two disparate groups lined up across from each other.

As the kick from Tihex soared in to the air, Tlaxconqua saw something glistening in the half light. A weapon of some kind? Unthinkable! As he was thinking this, the knife flashed out and scored a deep groove along Kailoq's armour. This wouldn't stand! Bellowing a challenge, Tlaxconqua surged forward. With a mighty sweep of his arm, the emaciated figure was smashed to the ground. A rattle escaped his lips as he breathed his last on the pitch. With that, the game resembled a battle. Xholmundi was knocked out and in retaliation Kailoq broke the hand of one of the Elves. These Elves appeared to be a darker, more malevolent breed of the species and they kept driving forward trying to press their advantage from scoring early.

Another fell. Kailoq was possessed as he kept pounding on the shadowy figures managing to badly hurt another of them. His stalwart brother Itzakai followed his lead, forcing another of the Dark Elves to slink off in to the night cradling his mangled hand as well. By the end of the first half there were only 6 of the Elven interlopers left on the pitch, one of their comrades having tripped on a stone in the semi-darkness and being dragged off to safety. Xholtoc scored at the end of the half to make the scores level. The Sun Gods felt they had a real advantage now and resolved to maintain their discipline.

And so, the Sun Gods received the ball and slowly began to march down field. Pressing their weight of numbers on the suddenly hard pressed Elves, they managed to move towards their end of the field. The danger to them now was a frenzied female. "Witch!" yelled Tihex in disgust as he gouged her eye and forced her off the field as well. Now very short on numbers, the Elves tried everything they could but it was no good. Tihex seemed inspired and joyfully shouted that he now knew how to guard his teammates. They knew it would be a very important epiphany and was truly a gift of the Old Ones.

Xholtoc scored his second of the game right at the death and with that, the game was over. The Dark Elves tried to main a Sun God with the last actions of the match but thankfully, the team thought, they were unsuccessful.

And like that. They were gone. Suddenly left alone the Sun Gods returned to their camp and settled in for the night.

Tomorrow would be a long day.

The team trudged through the night making their way slowly in the darkness.

Alert to their surroundings and somewhat on edge, the Sun Gods were still shocked by what happened next. A ear splitting howl rumbled through the undergrowth that merged with the edge of the cobblestones. "What was that?" Thought Xholmundi. "Kailoq, Tenqhex... Have a look."

Just as the two Slann moved towards the disturbance a bald, emaciated man in long dark robes stepped heavily on to the path. "My children need meat" he said raising a gnarled, ornate staff to the air. "And meat they shall have". A beam of foul light issued from the end of the staff and another howl, more powerful than before, split the still night. The Sun Gods were horrified to see shambling wrecks coming from the undergrowth and jerkily line up opposite them. Two blurred and furry shapes kept racing around the team and they could just make out the hint of slavering jaws and sharp teeth.

They involuntarily gulped and kicked the ball high in to the air, and one of the wolves raced on to it and picked it up. There was some inconsequential early blocking as the guard of Tihex allowed for the others to have more confidence in their efforts. Xholmundi and Xholtoc leapt over the line and almost managed to free the ball early but their efforts were in vain. Still, Xholtoc had enough presence of mind to dive full length to bring down a dodging wolf allowing Xholmundi to go for the ball. Getting the ball free and leaping away, he was able to get to safety and eventually the Sun Gods were able to score having lost Hextep and Kailoq who were badly hurt whilst trying to move away from the clutches of the zombies.

Luckily for the Sun Gods they were not too badly outnumbered as they began the second period and brought the ball to the left of the field. Tlaxconqua led the way as the big lizard blocked free a number of harried Sun Gods players. Xholmundi believed himself to be free and moved in to the open field deep in the opposition half. But a wolf was immediately in front of him and another turned to see the Slann blitzer as easy pickings. Luckily for him, the wolf stumbled on the uneven surface and fell to the ground. Tlaxconqua was able to bring his might to bear and assist Xholmundi who smashed the wolf to the ground, breaking his jaw. He then held for a bit to allow the clock to run down and scored with 3 turns remaining.

A solid deep kick put pressure on the necromancer's charges who tried blocking themselves free from danger. They attempted a break down the flank but the superior movement of the Slann allowed them to cut off the necromantic thrusts with the ball sat very deep with very little time to go. The Slann believed themselves to be safe as they completed their final turn and the necromancer's team couldn't score to equalise. But it was not to be...

With a cry of unfettered rage, the necromancer pointed his staff square at Tlaxconqua. As the others watched, horrified, the remaining wolf raced in and raked his claws down the front of the Kroxigor who slumped to the ground in a pool of his own blood. The necromancer smiled at his little victory and the Sun Gods didn't even register the departure of that foul crew as they raced to the side of the big Krox. Tlaxconqua smiled at them all but it was clear to see that he had a limp resulting from the blow. A niggle perhaps, but one that could lead to great difficulties in his future.

"We must reach Itza as quickly as possible. Surely a temple priest will be able to help our friend." said Boqkai. The others agreed. Tlaxconqua may yet remain a valuable member of their band, but they needed time to ascertain the extent of the damage. With that, the team changed direction and made for Itza, the glorious city of the Old Ones which was but a few days walk.

The Sun Gods were nearing Itza.

They could feel it in their bones.

The weather was starting to become less oppressive and the sun was starting to peer out from behind of the stately clouds that slowly drifted serenely through the azure sky. With high spirits the players considered what they would be likely to find. Whilst they found it odd that they all knew where Itza was, being newly spawned from those holy pools near Xhotl, they understood that it was not unusual that this would be so as they were guided from afar by the mysterious Mazdamundi.

Xholmundi estimated that they were but a few days walk from the great city that still stood proudly, reminding the world of the greatness of the Slann. Home of the venerable Lord Kroak it was and remained their greatest citadel and the team was honoured that they would be soon to witness it for themselves. But first, they needed to get there.

As if that thought tempted fate, they came across some strangely dressed Elves. Dressed in earthy hues and appearing to commune with the natural surroundings, these Elves appeared to be talking to a tree. Xholtoc shook his head. "We all know that nature should be respected" he said, "But isn't it odd that they would talk to a tree and expect a response?...". With a sound like the earth coming apart, the tree pulled itself free from the ground and joined the Elves who beamed with delight.

Xholmundi introduced himself and the Elves stated that they would be delighted to have a match. With a friendly air, the game got underway with the Elves deciding to kick. Xholmundi received the ball as Itzakai and Tihex made for the flanks to try and make some space. Xholtoc also making his way round to get himself in to scoring range. Some ineffectual blocking made for a interesting scene as the stage was set. Shocked, the players watched as a particularly lithe Elf managed to leap over their lines. Running downfield with a partner the Elf attempted to knock over Xholmundi who was entranced by the ease in which the opponent had avoided his teammate's clutches. Luckily for the Sun Gods, the Elf was unable to knock him down and the reaction was immediate. Xholmundi broke clear and passed to Itzakai who fumbled the ball before clinging on and giving it to Xholtoc. Xholtoc scampered down the line and waited next to the goal line, with Tihex lending strong support. The Elves tried in vain to get to grips with Xholtoc with another of the leaping Elves knocking himself down. Meanwhile, the tree had entangled itself in some roots and had not moved.

The Sun Gods hoped it would continue as Xholtoc ran in an early score.

Divine intervention allowed the Sun Gods to perfectly rearrange their defence and they resumed their attack on the ball. Managing to wrestle down the Wardancer (as they heard the Elf's teammates call it) Xholmundi scooped up the ball and made his way downfield. He was knocked down and the Elves recovered for a time until they fumbled the ball. The other wardancer tripped on the uneven field and managed to hurt himself. He would not return. The Lustrian heat seemed to be affecting the Elves badly as they dropped the ball and the Slann swarmed it to prevent an Elf score to end the half.

Sadly, a young linefrog who had joined them as he was traveling to Itza as well, came too close to the tree who smote him with a powerful crack of an oversized bough. He didn't make a sound as the life fled from his body.

1-0 at half time and the Sun Gods were delighted as things could have been much worse. The tree was not moving much but he threatened the team with his sheer power. Sadly, that power would be brought to bear on Itzakai. Once again that assive branch swept around and smashed into him breaking his neck as the Sun Gods looked on in horror. Xholmundi decided that they needed to regroup and managed to run in a second score after sweeping on to a loose ball and hopping away.

By now the soporific effect of the humidity and heat was doing the damage, the Elves seemed cursed as everything was going wrong. Ruthlessly the Sun Gods capitalised. The ball was lost and Uaxtoc picked it up after it had scattered away from the immobile tree. He threw it towards Xholmundi who was under great pressure but the captain managed to snare the ball and run away to score and gain the favour of the Gods with a new skill.

From this point, both teams wanted the game over without further mishap.

As Xholmundi walked over to the Elves and thanked them for the game he was deep in thought. Another of their brothers had been badly injured and it was with a mixture of despair and pride that he shook the hand of the Elf captain and bade him safe travels to wherever he was going. Returning to the team Itzakai told the team that with his injury he could no longer play, but he would stay with the team and follow them on their great journey. With heavy hearts, the rest of the team agreed.

Itza awaited.

Now they could see the outskirts of the city in the shimmering distance. The glimmer of gold was enough to make the players shade their eyes as they continued on towards the imposing structure that formed the central temple.

Tlaxconqua, while still favouring his niggled back, was able to keep up with the team as they watchfully kept to the centre of the path. They all knew how valuable the icons and other treasures were inside the city and also knew that others gazed upon the stout stone walls with avarice and hunger, seeking nothing more than to breach those walls and feast upon the riches inside.

Meeting more and more of their fellow Slann as they made their way onwards, the Sun Gods came across another bank of Dark Elves who were encamped some leagues from the main gate. Upon being asked if they wanted a "friendly" game, the Sun Gods readied themselves. Xholtoc warned his friends about what had happened the last time they had agreed to a "friendly" game and to be on their guard. The others agreed. A crowd of Slann had gathered and were watching with keen interest as to what was to transpire.

As the players gathered to start, a small shadow came screaming through the air as a small projectile made its way from the crowd. Hextep slumped to the ground and was carried off by some of the onlookers, who attended to him as the play began.

The ball was kicked high in to the air and Tlaxconqua waded in to the fray knocking Elves down left and right. The Sun Gods made their way down field trying not to let too many gaps open up in their tight formation and they tried for the opening score. Xholmundi was knocked over with the ball falling to Xholtoc, a series of blocks allowed for the Slann to camp near the line ad score at the end of their sixth turn.

The Elves made their way down the right flank trying to get around the corner of the defence. With time running down, the Slann had a chance to blitz the ball carrier but chose to rely on their superior tackling skills not wanting to miss their block and allow freedom to move. The witch was able to hand off to her teammate who ran around to make it 1-1.

The crowd groaned at the fundamental error and as the players lined up for the second half, it seemed that one of the crowd made to even the score with his own rock arching high in to the air.

Maybe he meant to hit another.

Maybe he meant to simply send a message.

But as Tlaxconqua slumped to the ground the play stopped as many Slann rushed the field to attend to the big Krox. It was not to be. Slain before his time, in such an ignominious way, Tlaxconqua was dead. Wails and lamentations were heard far and wide and the young Slann who had foolishly lost his temper and thrown the rock was dragged away, protesting his innocence and begging for forgiveness. What became of him no one knew nor cared.

This seemed to put the fight out of the Sun Gods. Their listlessness began leading to mistakes and others leaving the field as their armour failed, the treatment tent becoming ever fuller with each turn. The Elves managed to score after reversing the play and catching out the defence. Xholtoc was injured when a blitzer fell on his leg. They all heard the crack of the bone as Xholtoc writhed in agony. The priest that followed the team around discussed the matter with Xholmundi and they decided that the only proper action was to leave him be. Rest and sturdy bindings would see to his recovery as well as keep him safe for the next game.

And yet, the Slann had a chance! Quet-ti broke free and made his way to the end zone. He screamed for a pass and Xholmundi saw it and tried to execute. Sadly, the Gods can be fickle, capricious beings and he fell to the ground. The Elves recovered easily and made their way down and sauntered arrogantly in to the end zone to lukewarm applause from the spectators.

After the game, the Sun Gods were listless and wracked with grief for their loyal friend. They considered what they were to do and mournfully committed the body of Tlaxconqua to the temple priests for internment. Xholmundi however decided that this attitude would not stand.

He screamed out at those present. "Will you show no pride? Will you not join us on our holy journey? Stand up if you are willing to be counted". Many shifted at those stirring words but none moved. As the team went to move on, the crowd parted as a massive shape made its way towards them.

"Mundiconqua help his Slann brothers in memory of mighty Tlaxconqua".

The crowd cheered with renewed vigour and the team moved on.

The Sun Gods were now within a short distance of the walls.

Imposing and sturdy, the team knew that this was the home of the venerable Lord Kroak. Having stood for aeons and withstood the depredations of all manner of invaders the guardians of the city were praised throughout the land. The sun glinted of their crests and spears as they stood sentinel at the great gate. As the players moved closer they were aware of an insistent buzz that was growing stronger with every step they took towards the towering edifice of the western gate. This was the first city of their forebears they had seen the way the Old Ones intended and they attempted to ignore the nagging sound as they moved on.

"Stop..."

The players stopped and looked at each other, the unspoken question given voice by Uaxtoc... "Was that voice inside our heads?". Xholmundi was perturbed. This did not sound like the voice of Mazdamundi who had guided them so far from a distance. It sounded older, and much, much more powerful. As one they realised that it was the voice of Lord Kroak that they were hearing. The powerful mage was alert and due to his power, flickering images went through the players minds. Was it the past? The future? Who knew?

As one they went to one knee and awaited the next move. After what seemed to the players to be an age, the voice entered their heads again.

"You are from a special spawning. There are great plans in motion and these plans will require the finest of us. There is a prophecy that was foretold on the temple tablets. But I cannot tell you more. In order to prove your worth, you must battle an ancient enemy of all living things. Succeed in this task and you may enter Itza. You will have proven yourself worthy of being asked to attempt great things."

As the voice receded, the ground beneath their feet began to rumble. Hands burst from the rolling hills and zombies made their way to their feet. Howling wolves stood panting at the top of the rise with shambling wrecks slowly making their way forwards. The Sun Gods took their time and decided that they would start without the ball. The feeling being that they needed all their brothers together to defend from the onslaught.

The kick went high and the Slann reacted as one. Xholmundi broke in to the backfield where he was followed by Ankhaxl, the young vagabond showing his enthusiasm for the cause. Mundiconqua held the middle as the ball sat along the sideline guarded by two zombies. The Sun Gods managed to get Xholmundi on to one of the wolves but the wolf showed unnatural agility and broke across field. Having managed to extricate himself, Xholmundi blitzed the wolf with support and knocked him out. Ankhaxl managed to pick up the ball and the Slann were already deep in their opponent's half in possession of the ball.

The rest of the half went well for the Sun Gods.

They managed to protect Ankhaxl as he made his way down the field, Kailoq managing to badly hurt one of the tormented zombies. The wight, who showed unnatural strength, managed to badly hurt Tihex who was carried off the field where he was tended to by the shocked onlookers. The necromantic players attempted a late attack on Ankhaxl but to no avail. He made his way in to the end zone and roared with delight. After patting him on the back, the team made their way to the sideline at the half time break. The players knew that they were in a good position with the ball being in their hands for the second period of play.

In the second half, the Sun Gods had the blessings of the Old Ones. Boqkai pounded a wolf in to the turf which made things easier and a traveling itinerant made his mark by badly hurting another. Ankhaxl managed to get the ball again after it was passed to him by Xholmundi. The young Slann was protected for a time but the necromantic players managed to mark him up. The massive mountain of flesh and the strong wight trying to block him in. But Ankhaxl was inspired and broke free managing to score his second TD of the game!

The Sun Gods were jubilant but wary. They knew how quickly things could change and they had left 6 turns for the wolves and their compatriots to score twice. The wolves tried to use their superior mobility to break down the flank but Xholmundi was able to use his agility to use an assist. He badly hurt the wolf again and the ball was loose. The players were amazed to see the the wolves continuously shaking off bad injuries and skulking around the injury box waiting for their opportunity to regain the field. Xholmundi decided that discretion was the better part of valour and tried to pass the ball to Hextep but the ball bounced free.

Late on, the remaining wolf managed to get the ball but their attempts to score were fruitless, with the Sun Gods breathing a sigh of relief as the match ended. The zombies returned to the earth with the larger undead with the wolves rushing off to wait for a better opportunity.

After the match the players stood in front of the great gate. They could feel Mazdamundi's presence before he communicated with them.

"Sun Gods! You have proven yourselves worthy. For this auspicious moment there shall be rewards and gifts of plenty."

"Ankhaxl, for your efforts today, the great plan deems that you shall become an agile member of the party. You have scored 2 TDs in your second game and this is an opportune moment to reward you". The (by now) familiar glowing nimbus flared around his head and the young Slann fell to his knees in gratitude, struggling to understand the import of his new found agility.

"Quet-ti, you have been determined as the best player on this day because of your unselfish support of your teammates. Your reward should reflect this fact." Quet-ti beamed as he learned better how to guard his friends from enemies.

"Finally, Kailoq. You defended your friends well. Your reward is new found skill in wrestling. With this you may assist your teammates in creating room to move and protecting them." Kailoq simply bowed his head in thanks.

The players now watched as the massive doors ground open, admitting them to a holy place of the Slann. They had done well and now they were able to enter Itza. Here they would rest a while and practice for new challenges that were sure to present themselves.

The gates rumbled shut behind them...

The ancient city of Itza was renowned throughout the continent. Stout walls, strong gates and a large and well-maintained temple made the people feel safe and secure in their formidable redoubt that had recovered well from the Great Catastrophe that had befallen the Slann when Chaos roamed across the sweltering southern lands. Whilst the threat had subsided over the centuries, the Slann were ever alert to the possibility of invasion by means both overt and insidious.

This led to the Sun Gods being trained in the many ways that such an evil event may come to pass. After having spent several days in rest and contemplation, the Sun Gods were summoned to the temple where they would begin their training prior to returning to their journey. Still not having an understanding of their greater purpose, the team resolved to put their all into any tasks that they were given.

The High Priest bade them sit and after refreshments he outlined their exercise for the day. They were to take on a horde of necromantic invaders. In this exercise they were to focus on the principles of lightning attacks, marshaling their strength to exploit weaknesses in the opponent. The object, of course, was to win the match but they were told that they would gain great rewards if they were able to keep the necros from reaching the rear of their formation. In this case, the goal line.

The match began and, as had become their custom, the Sun Gods elected to kick. The necros formed a strong line and Xholmundi saw that the necros had neglected to layer their defence and if the Sun Gods could breach their lines then they might be able to cause disarray. And so it went...

The necros gained the ball with a wight standing clear until he was protected by a backtracking wolf. The necros shambled forwards to get to grips with the stalwart brotherhood who braced themselves while Xholmundi broke behind the line to create a distraction. Seizing on a mistake by the necromantic players, Ankhaxl slid clear of his marker to lend an assist with Xholmundi, still unmarked, smashing the wight and gaining the ball just two turns in to the half. The necros backtracked and managed to knock Xholmundi down. The Slann tried every method available to them to get to the ball and eventually, Quet-ti managed to bring his guard skill to bear. Ankhaxl blitzed the remaining wight off the ball and scored making it 1-0 some 5 turns in.

After some messy blocking, the ball was stuck deep. The necros attempted to speed up their attack but they fumbled the ball and it stayed around the half way line until the end of a frenetic period of action. Xholmundi and the rest of the team gathered to discuss their next moves. "We must score fast" said Xholmundi. If we manage to do so then we shall force them to attack even harder which will hopefully lead to more mistakes." The others agreed and they set up for the second half.

They were warned prior to receiving the ball by the High Priest that any mistakes would be punished as signs of weakness. With that in mind, the Sun Gods set up for the kick. The kick fell next to Xholmundi and Xholtoc ran over to the ball and passed it to him in order to better himself. The others attempted moving into better positions but before they knew it the necro were upon them.

Surrounded on all sides, the Sun Gods frantically searched for a way out and found it. Mundiconqua managed to knock out a zombie and after a series of blocks, Xholtoc blitzed Xholmundi clear of attention and the two blitzers ran in to the backfield where they tried to prepare for the inevitable counter-attack. Sadly, Quet-ti attempted to join them and dodged away... As his brothers watched, he tripped and fell to the ground with a loud crack. Their indefatigable priest ran over and tried to save him from death, but he could only bring him back to a fraction of his former strength. Worse for all, he then lapsed again and died. A sad loss for the Sun Gods.

Revulsion curled their lips though as the broken body shambled to it's feet, almost as if some accursed force was reanimating him. Their worst fears were realised when he shuffled over to join his new team mates and silently awaited a chance to enter the field. With the necromantic players now more confident, Xholmundi rushed away to score the Sun Gods second. At the mid way point of the second half they felt confident the game was won but they now were down to 7 fit players with Boqkai and Tihex joining a growing injury list. Boqkai with a broken jaw and Tihex lying unconscious in a tent off to the side of the field.

Now the Sun Gods only had to try and stop the necros from scoring. Kicking the ball very deep the play began again. Mundiconqua saw that the necros had brought the reanimated Quet-ti on to the pitch to taunt the surviving Sun Gods. With a feral, primordial roar he rushed over and with a mighty sweep of his arm killed Quet-ti for the second time in the day! Jubilation turned to unfathomable sadness as Quet-ti shrugged off the blow and left the field under his own steam. There was to be no release for him this day.

The necros ball-handling let them down again and again which made the Sun Gods task easier. As the last turn clicked over Xholtoc tried to get the ball and score again but the crowd of ghouls surrounding it were too much.

He dropped the ball and after some attempts by the necros to damage the Sun Gods the match ended with a ghoul knocking itself down trying to knock Xholtoc away.

The players took a moment to remember Quet-ti as he was, watching him shuffle off with the rest of his new teammates into a guarded cage that served to hold the necros in detention until such time as they were needed again. The High Priest sadly stated that it was all part of the Old One's great plan, and the Sun Gods would simply have to remain strong and continue their training. He stated how pleased he was that they had completed their objective. This clearly accorded with the prophecy and meant that they were destined for great things.Xholtoc now knew the ways of dodging to a higher level than most and it was with this small shred of comfort that the Sun Gods returned to their quarters, their new teammate Goqhui hurrying to catch up with them.

Xholmundi and Xholtoc sat on the stair leading up the to the temple gazing at the stars.

Both in quiet contemplation, they considered the fate that had befallen their brothers of the short journey so far. As always, the felt secure in the guidance of Mazdamundi and yet they considered that it was seemingly an independent capricious fate that had taken their teammates from them. With a sigh, Xholmundi arose and began to walk along the path that led back to the quarters in the temple district.

Having covered a short distance, a messenger approached. "I bring a message from an Elven trading delegation" he said, and hurried off, one of a multitude that still thronged the city at this late hour. Intrigued, the brothers made their way to the mercantile quarter and waited by an ornate ithilmar gate. Ringing a slender bell that made a tinkling sound like gentle laughter they saw a light at the end of a pathway. With easy grace a group of Elves made their way down the path, unhurried and confident in their surroundings.

The leader of the Elves spoke from the other side of the still barred gate. "We have heard many things about you Xholmundi. You and your Sun Gods appear to be favoured by your Gods. We would be honoured to play a friendly game with you. But heed us well, we will not stay our hand and we would expect that you do not stay yours. What say you?"

Xholmundi agreed with alacrity. A game of the holy sport would surely take their minds off the lost. And so, the Sun Gods stood on the pitch that was lit by unknown means and prepared for the upcoming tussle. As usual, they kicked off and the ball was quickly in the hands of an Elven thrower. As he retreated from danger and his teammates flooded forwards the Sun Gods attempted a new tactic. Not flooding the defensive half they wished to try stymieing the Elf attempts to score quickly. It was not to be, the Elves hit with power and ran rings around the Sun Gods with players beginning to leave the field.

Xholmundi attempted to take out the Elf blitzer who was doing all the damage but he found himself cut off from support. With Mundiconqua struggling with the lights and becoming confused the defence fell apart and the Elves scored around turn 5. The Sun Gods came roaring back however. Turning the corner immediately, Xholmundi was able to get free and scored as the half was coming to an end.

The light suddenly snapped off leaving both teams in darkness. In the silence Xholmundi heard a voice in his head that could only be Mazdamundi...

"Xholmundi, I am afraid that time is growing short with your training. I am confident that you must stay in Itza no longer and must make your way along the Vampire Coast and on to Hexoatl. This path shall be your training. You shall succeed and once this match ends, you shall have more support to add to your company."

With this the lights reappeared and the second half got under way.

With the teams at 9 and 10 players respectively, the Sun Gods considered that they were still in with a shout with an Elf being killed late in the second half that was sure to dismay the Elves. But it didn't, they played just as hard as they had i the first half and the Sun Gods were quickly under pressure. Xholmundi sought the reassuring bulk of Mundiconqua who had seeming shaken off his disorientation.

The play continued back and forth around the centre of the field when an Elf got in behind the lines and flashed towards Ankhaxl, Tihex made to cry out a warning when the promising linefrog fell to the ground. He appeared to be hanging by athread and the priest attempted to revive him. And yet he was unsuccessful.

Another soul gone.

With that the Elves made a blitz on the ball and managed to knock Xholmundi to the ground, they blocked the ball free and recovered in a dazzling display of precision. At this time, Tihex and Goqhui were overcome by rage and gained some measure of vengeance for the untimely death of Ankhaxl. They each seriously injured an Elf but by this time they Sun Gods were out of position and were struggling to get the ball. Once again, Xholmundi managed to get a block in on the ball carrier but was stunned for his trouble.

At this point the Elves were playing keep away as they ran down the clock. To the anger of the Sun Gods, the Elves attempted a late foul on Xholmundi who was on the ground. The foul was unsuccessful but the Slann could not make them pay. The Elves scored late to complete a close fought win that both teams could take pride in.

As the Elves made their way back to their compound, having shaken the hands of the Sun Gods and wished them luck, the Sun Gods gathered their items and made their way to the northern gates of the city. They thought themselves down a player but were surprised to see what appeared to be a blitzer running to meet them.

"I am Zlatoatl he said, and the Old Ones have spoken to me. I am to join you on your quest. Together, we can only be victorious." The others, cheered by this, made their way out of the brightly lit city and deeper in to the gathering gloom that marked the borders of the Vampire Coast....

The team had only just left the city gates when they heard a voice. "Oi! Froggy! You wanna game?" it said to them and they look around to see what was going on, as Mundiconqua looked down a snort came from him inadvertently. They looked down to see half-men standing in front of them and they wondered what they were doing in this part of the world.

Xholmundi said to them, "What kind of people are you? How do you come to be in Lustria?", and there was a moment's silence as they men opposite considered this. "Well... The thing is, we was on our way to a minor tournament and we got blown off course in a storm." Ball players? Xholmundi thought to himself. They got to talking and it transpired that the team was named the Mighty Blowflies and they were a traveling team devoted to showing the world just how good Halflings (as they called themselves) could be. "Oh yeah! Before youse start" said the fling, "We has got ourselves some help you know". And he whistled.

As he did so, two massive trees came shuffling out from the undergrowth. As the Sun Gods eyes widened, the flings chuckled and set up for the game. They received first and straight away Xholmundi was leaping in to knock the ball loose. The next few turns saw the trees attempting to main the Sun Gods as the ball went too and fro. The flings recovered the ball and tried to rearrange themselves. Xholmundi tried his luck again and succeeded only in pushing the unusually agile fling closer to his enormous guardians. The flings were well marshaled and were giving as good as they got outblocking the Sun Gods who were trying to edge around the periphery to get a go at the ball.

With a start, the Sun Gods saw the tree pick up the ball carrier and throw him howling through the air. As he slumped to the ground the Sun Gods were able to retrieve the ball. Looking downfield, Xholmundi saw Zlatoatl screaming for the ball. He leaped over the markers and threw it to him, neatly managing to get in the way of retaliation. The Sun Gods by this time had suffered some frogs knocked out and as such they endeavoured to get the ball near the end zone which they achieved quite happily.

Out of second chances the Sun Gods made it into the end zone to make it 1-0. And the flings had lost two of their players to the KO Box. The Sun Gods were amazed by their ability to slip out of the tightest spaces and vowed to be careful in their attacking phase. And yet, greed is a powerful motivator. The Sun Gods moved down the flank through Boqkai and Tihex with Xholtoc lending strong support. Zlatoatl moved behind the lines and the Slann tried to lock down their opponents. Having thrown yet another fling, they had Xholmundi seemingly trapped deep in the Sun Gods half. However, his superior agility shone and he was able to free himself and run to safety. A couple of mistakes by both sides led to the Sun Gods getting the ball to Zlatoatl in order to see him gain greater abilities. There was some inconsequential blocking until one of the trees smashed Boqkai to the ground. In what was becoming a distressing scene, both sides grouped around the player as he struggled for breath.

"Xholmundi..." he groaned...
"Yes brother?"
"The plan must succeed. Let me die knowing I have been part of something greater than myself".
"We can save you" the Captain said but it was not to be. Boqkai let himself slip away. A beatific smile on his face.

The game became furious now, with Kailoq and Tihex hurting two flings badly and the flings retaliating with some massive fouling. Xholmundi himself was badly hurt late in the game and the numbers were starting to thin alarmingly. The chatty fling made his way clear and Mundiconqua snorted as he went to knock him down. Sadly for his self-esteem, the flings consistently brought him to the ground and moved on. A late score by the Mighty Blowflies allowed them a real measure of honour in the match which had been played in a particularly fine spirit.

As the teams both mourned the departed, they shook hands and the flings wished them luck on their quest. "We will keep informed of your progress fellas" said their captain and the Sun Gods promised to keep in touch with their doughty little opponents. As they considered the surreal nature of the match, the Sun Gods couldn't help but smile. They knew that one day their paths would cross again, and they fervently wished that it was as friends and not rivals.

They were surprised to hear Tenqhex as he began to laugh and as they turned around he had grown measurably. "I am much stronger now" he said, "Glory to the Old Ones"...

Glory to the Old Ones indeed.

Good evening sports fans. This evening on Cabalvision we are taking time to look back though the seasons to find some true legends while we wait for the next scheduled league to start. GRIND is a young league but already features some amazing players. Some say that it is the unique restrictions on skill ups which has resulted in this, some say that it is the lower numbers on the pitch and some the lack of re-rolls. Whatever the reason is, no one would want to face these guys...

Best Fouler

Crazy Orek (deceased)

So young, so promising, so dead. Orek’s life was lived to the full with an astonishing 9 fouls in just two games after he learned to play dirty. Amazingly he was able to kill a Skaven Blitzer, smash an ankle and pinch a nerve in just one of these games. His death remains shrouded in mystery after he bit the dust right in front of Lewis Lastic: the Ogre has always protested his innocence but has recently invested heavily in a chain of taverns and it is not clear where the gold crowns he has put in came from.

Phtert Pollipotent

This poxy player is sneaky and therefore unafraid to put the boot in. 18 fouls in 21 games is not a bad record at all.

Best (Big) Defensive Lineman

There are many claimants to this title, let’s have a look:

Rirkz the Claw

Rat Ogres are always scary and the Claws Rrikz has make him doubly so, especially for any Dwarf or Orc coaches. 17 CAS in 25 games is a good return but his early promise seems to be a little too much of a burden: he’s just not slashing like he used too...

Blasio (deceased)

The strongest player the league has ever known. Sadly this strength was indirectly his downfall: felled by a bad dodge.

In marked contrast is Orso Smaldone. He was once super agile but now seems to be struggling a little. Has a strong record for injuries (18 CAS in only 26 games) as well a successful completed pass. Surely he still has a role as a Quarterback even with an injury?

Sadly you can only have one big guy in a team: so I’m going to go with Rirkz as he has the most destructive potential. When you have no rerolls the Loner skill doesn't seem so bad...

Quarterbacks

Captain Uberto Neri

Neri is a legend for his extreme strength of body (who says rum is not performance enhancing) and mind: as the inspiration captain of the shipwrecks he has ensured that they have swept almost all away on the path to extreme victory. Critics would say that he doesn't actually handle the ball enough with only three touchdowns and 29 passes in 30 games, but to them I say: rubbish; he’s a legend!

Jerry “Rev” Harris

Now this is a real Quarterback. I will start with a quote from his biography: "Since starting to play in GRIND Jerry has become better and better. He loves to dodge, pass and (especially) pick up the ball, often under the noses of his opponents. The fans love him, the opponents love to hit him..."

This says it all really. With 47 completions from only 15 games the man is a Quarterback’s Quarterback and a true legend. It is important to note he is also a team player: no lurking around in the backfield for him or hanging around the sub's bench on defence. Jerry is not afraid to get stuck in and put his body on the line. So far he has escaped serious injury despite the many big hits and crunching fouls he has taken. Now he has learned to kick this is (yet) another dimension to his game.

If I had to choose I’d take both!

Wide Receivers

Here there are some real stud players: while the Quarterbacks like to think they get the glory it is really the guys running in the touchdowns that actually get to take home the fat endorsement cheques and the girls.

“Little” Vito Castello

A perennial sub who is only on the team to make sure he stays out of trouble (he is "involveved" with the dughter of team Captain Neri) Vito has actually provided surprisingly useful. Despite his effete appearance he is wriggly and super fast, capable of scoring straight from the kick off with relative ease. This means that he has ten TDs in 30 games: in any other team he would be a star.

This leads on to perhaps the greatest player GRIND has yet seen:

Pietro “Pipes” Petreilli

The glittering jewel in the crown of the Sartosa Shipwrecks: women want him, men want to be him. As well as being a considerable defensive threat with both wrestle and tackle as well as super strength Pipes is able to score seemingly at will. 172 spp in just 30 games is simply incredible and Pipes has it all. I’m, sure you all remember the Superbowl of last year where he scored an incredible six (yes six) touchdowns in the mauling of the Blighted Marches Brawlers. Boots all over the league have been sharpened on the off chance that Pipes might hit the turf at some point, but he’ll have to be caught first...

Utheastor

No one likes an Elf, but if they did they’d probably like them to be like this guy. Super fast, dodgy and able to ignore the opposing cornerbacks breathing down his neck. 25 touchdowns in 21 games is very good but a recent injury may mean he is just too fragile to continue to compete...

Theras

The recipient of the SPORTAN award from the inaugural CAS tournament held earlier, Theras is another Elf. This one can leap though: a truly impressive skill. “Only” thirteen touchdowns from his fifteen games perhaps places him a little lower than some of the others

If you can only take one, it has to be Pipes!

Linebackers

These are players that get things done: the beating heart of any team. They may not get the glory, but they lay the path for many a win.

Leo Vassello

Despite an injury weakening him significantly Leo still is of real value to the team and not just for his experience. His skill set is excellent although it’s unlikely he’ll be putting in too many big hits these days.

Denzl Waaaghshington

The White Moon Waagh have a great record so far (8/1/1) and it is players like Denzl that lead to this. When he hits he hits hard, really hard. Eleven CAS in ten games is a truly enviable record.

Constante Finetti

This dude is an example of why GRIND is so great. Constante may not have classic linebacker skills like the ability to pound his opponents to dirt, dodge away from them or tackle them to the ground but his extreme speed and almost predictive ability to see the play and where the ball carrier is going next means that he is the lynchpin of the shipwrecks defence, marking receivers or the ball carrier and stopping them from even thinking of getting away. He stands firm while others fall back.

The Cabalvision "Up and Comers"

These players are doing well but have not yet achieved true greatness. They will be looking to fill the shoes of the players above as old age and the opponents boots finally catch up with them.

Gerry Bertier

The captain of the Titans Gerry always leads by example. He is able to stand firm when hit without going down, and hold his opponents off him is he is going to hit the turf. Some are worried that his frequent appearances as an "expert" summariser of live games may be making his already bloated ego a little too big (and inspiring his opponents, especially the abhuman ones, a little too much). Gerry is a team man at heart though and surely nothing can stop his ascent into greatness.

Borga Gobthrotla

A hyper mobile troll who might just be the next big thing in the bone rending department. He will be looking to cause as much pain as possible, as often as possible.

Ratbash Necraka

A Black Orc on the same team who hits just as hard as Borga and may well learn to block properly shortly. This could be a devastating double act.

Donald Faison

Donald is the ying to Jerry's yang: always ready to receive a pass coming in with laser-like accuracy from the QB's throwing arm. Don is fast, very fast, agile and flexible: could he be the next Pipes?

Shice of Black Chasm

This Rat is fast, super fast. Surely he has a bright (but possibly brief) future ahead of him?

Keep it Cabalvison for all things GRIND-y, from live commentary of both big finals and grudge matches to the infamous "On the Grind" round up of events.

For me the most rewarding aspect of FUMBBL has always been scheduled leagues. I’ve found it a great way to get to know new people, develop ongoing rivalries and on FUMBBL it is the closest to how the Bloodbowl rules are designed to be played. The great thing about playing in a scheduled league is that your team and individual players develop a history and character of their own. You can’t just restart at the drop of a hat or play a bunch of soft matches if things are going badly.

History

Anyone who has run or helped administer a league will know that recruitment and retention of coaches is always difficult. Drop-outs are common as real life gets in the way or some coaches prove to be unreliable. By their very nature scheduled leagues usually have a fixed deadline and number of teams required, so it’s difficult to accommodate new coaches who express an interest in joining the league. There’s also the issue of reliability and how a new coach proves themselves if they have never played in a league before.

I’ve been a member of the WIL since early 2007 and performed various roles throughout that time, assisting with stats, division admin and providing new trophy and seal images for the league. There were even rumours I was in the running for the job of WIL commissioner at one stage. But after receiving some disturbing messages from a group only identified as “The P Brotherhood”, I declined.

In early 2009 we were struggling with how to cope with replacing drop-outs. We had been using a simple waiting list, however this caused issues as it could be months before a spot opened up and in the meantime that coach may have gone inactive. All too often a short notice replacement would be needed and we’d have a dilemma on how long to wait for a reply before going to the next person on the list.

In addition we had no way of vetting new applicants, if they were already known to league members through open games or other leagues it was no problem, but a new joiner was a complete unknown. It made sense to give preference to someone we knew would play all their games rather than risk messing a league up by having someone prove unreliable to drop out mid-way. But it seemed unfair for a reliable but unproven coach to be left waiting for months whilst people we knew jumped the queue.

The solution was to create a feeder league. As with all great WIL ideas we shamelessly stole it from the SWL and adapted it to suit our purposes. They had a more casual league called the SWL Fringe, being a bastion of originality I therefore created the WIL Fringe, aside from stealing the initial concept and name the league itself was very much our own.

Format

The concept was that this league would be able to cope when people wished to join mid-season, and had to be robust enough to handle when coaches dropped out or were called up to the main league at short notice. I wanted to keep to the main league’s 9 day schedule of 7 games as well as a few weeks between for friendlies and recruitment. The aim was to get novice coaches used to arranging games and playing on time. To offer more flexibility I split the league into two parts, the first being as many 4 team leagues as possible that would be played at the same time as games 1-3 of the main league. The 2nd was a knock out cup featuring all the Fringe teams, this was usually 8 teams but occasionally 16 from games 4-7 of the main league. There would sometimes be a 9 day gap between these to allow more recruitment.

To maximise the number of games in the knock out cup played the round 1 losers (4 or 8 teams) are put into a smaller knock out plate, meaning everyone gets to play at least 2 games. Each, league, cup and plate has its own trophy image that can be added to the team bio to give extra incentives to play and help quickly build up a history for the team and players. There is also a seals for each season, echoing the main league.

As the main league follows crp as closely as possible the Fringe did the same. The only diversion was the Fringe keeps the same 1600 TV cap as the regionals of the main league. The idea behind this is to avoid rookies facing off against huge bloated TV monsters than might destroy them before they get started.

The aim of the Fringe is to be slightly gentler on coaches who were new to Leagues, FUMBBL or Blood Bowl itself, but still be competitive and be able to handle experienced coaches who had played thousands of hard fought games in B, R or other leagues. The main league only allows starts after the season is over or if a team is utterly destroyed, but as the fringe has a mid-season break then a coach can replace a badly beaten up team or switch if they dislike that particular race. This does allow people to try out a team for 3-4 games before getting stuck with them for a full season.

The difficulty of what to do when there is an odd number of coaches still occurs with the smaller and shorter leagues/cups. I anticipated this and that there would often be a need for filler teams due to having an odd number of coaches at the start of a season or people dropping out/being recruited by the main league. I could have used the standard filler teams and give forfeits but preferred as many games as possible got played. To that end I brought in the concept of secondary teams for coaches in the main league, limiting them to the dynamite races (Ogres, Goblins, Flings, Vamps and Underworld). The initial idea was that they would encourage main league coaches to try out these races and allow them to swap them in for their other WIL team. But there was little interest in this so they ended up being teams where existing WIL coaches would help fill out the numbers.

Coaching a filler team is a rather thankless role as you’ll often get asked to step aside and make way for someone new or have to jump in at short notice. I ended up having three teams myself for when numbers were tricky and sometimes was using all three in the same cup. This did have the benefit of giving me the chance to get to know the new coaches better, meaning I was able to give a more informed opinion of them when asked for new recruits.

Running the Fringe

Whilst admining the Fringe I tend to chase coaches more than I would in the main league. Giving more warnings about deadlines and contacting both coaches direct if their game is still outstanding.

I adopt a very simple scoring system, assigning a number based on when a coach joins the league. Everyone who joins at the same time is assigned the same number with coaches joining afterwards being 1 number lower. The closer to 20 the longer they have been in the league and at the start of a new season the numbers are re-organised. So if the league starts with 3 coaches they would all be number 19, if another coach joins after game 1 they’d be no 18 and if 2 join after game 3 they’d be number 17. Should someone forfeit a game without giving me a reason then I will reduce their score by 1. Missing several games in a row or continual forfeits risks them being moved to the back of the queue or removed from the league entirely.

Conclusion

The Fringe has been running for 24 seasons now and been a great success. Mid-season drop-outs from the main league after only a couple of games are rarer as the Fringe tends to weed out those who find leagues play is not for them or prove to be unreliable. New coaches also get a bit of a boost before they are thrown into the highly competitive main league. This gives some of the squishier teams a chance to develop a little and encourages more variety.

amelsetlmatch: “When will you make a Goblin Cheaters team in Stunty?”
GG: “Nevva mush, an eres y. I iz der besterest Blud Bowl koach evva an it wud be tew eesy fer me if I koached in der stunty leeg. Owevva Nige iz playa manager of a squig teem an likez it az she is still lernin ow ter koach gud.”

Roland: “Will you ever play an all-goblin (12) underworld team?”
GG: “No, I ent avvin a buncha mewtantz runnin rownd me kave lookin all freeky an everyfin.”

Cdassak: “Will we see dARR Green Tide in da Box?”
GG: “Nah, wun o der fings a gud manager does iz get proppa fixtures fer iz side. I az ter be kwite pikky wen it kumz ter oo we play else I starts runnin outta ladz. Hence no box.”

Xnoelx: “Is there any truth to the rumour that you're just a tall fat Snotling?”
GG: “No yew cheeky sod der ent! Of all der nerve!”

Dalfort: “Where did you first meet Honest John and can you tell us about it?”
GG: “I furst met Honest Jon in me local boozer, Der Bridge Inn. Ee wud kum in every Sunday lunchtime wiv a bag full of fingz ee wud be lookin ter sell. Cash only mind. Anyway we got chattin an it turned out I ad found sum fings dat ee kud sell fer me nice an kwik an it went frum der.”

Dalfort: “Is there a Mrs_Great_Gobbo?”
GG: “Der only wuman in my life iz me likkle gurl Nige an I likez it dat way az I iz tew much gobbo fer wun female ter andle!”

“When can we expect Green Tide replica shirts available from all good outlets?”
GG: “Dey iz available frum der merchandising kart now. Plese note we as stopped putting players names on der back o shirts as we gowes frew so many players it nearly bankrupted me in replacing der kit.”

Badoek: “If you HAD to pick a date for one night: Zara the Slayer or Bertha Bigfist, and why?”
GG: “I wud pikk Berfa az big gurls try arder!”

Badoek: “Which race do you prefer to play against?”
GG: “Vampires az dey spend moast of der time attackin eech over!”

Badoek: “With the amount of money going around in Blood Bowl I expect you to have some budget for education. Have you considered taking spelling and grammar lessons?”
GG:” Is tew kallin me fikk?

Harvestmouse: “If you could take any fantasy goblins and make them into a Blood Bowl team, what would they be like?”
GG: “Der wun I kan fink off wud be der Green Goblin an iz speshul pumpkin bombz. Apparently dey work by givin off supa eet dat melts steel. So dey wud reduce all AV ter 7 like Claw
Green Goblin
MA 6 ST 3 AG 4 AV 7
Dodge, Bombardier, Secret Weapon, Stunty

NerdBird: “What is The Great Gobbo's aversion to gobbos using secret weapons?”
GG: “Nuffin, but der Tide iz all bowt showin der world ow grate us Gobbos really iz.”

NerdBird: “How many roads must a goblin walk down, before you call him a man?”
GG: “Yew kan kall im a man wenevva yew want so none. Yew wud probly get a smakk fer it tho!”

Harad: “If you could sign one player, who would you sign?”
GG: “Chuck Norris MA 6 ST na AG na AV na
Skills = 'Being Chuck Norris'
If an opposing player is in Chuck Norris's Tacklezone they get knocked back D3 squares back and suffer an automatic Casualty Roll. (Stunty players get knocked back D6 squares back and Titchty players get knocked back 2D6 squres) If the knocked back player passes through any of his Team mates squares they get knocked down and must make an Armour Roll.

Chuck Norris automatically passes all Agility Rolls.

Chuck Norris automatically scores if enters the Endzone even if he doesn't have the ball.

If Chuck Norris is targeted with a Fireball or Lightning Bolt he will kick it back at the opposing Teams dugout causing all reserves to make an Injury Roll.

When Chuck Norris Kicks Off the ball will land wherever he wants it to. If the ball lands on a player that player must make a Casualty Roll.”

“Is there any truth to the rumours that the Green Tide is a) a front for (dis)organized crime b) an elaborate tax evasion scam c) the consequence of losing a bet?”
GG: “Yes.”

Drunkagent: “What makes you so Great?”
GG: “Everyfin abowt me, but espeshully me endless supply o kunnin”

Wreckage: “Why do they call you The 'Great' Gobbo?”
GG: “Kos itz me name stoopid”

Wreckage: “What's generally in a goblins diet?”
GG: “Temazepam.”

Wreckage: “Don't you feel useless sometimes, you know being a goblin?”
GG: “No.”

Wreckage: “In a 5 round match in a cage, no rules you vs Alexis Tsipras, who would win?”
GG: “Dunno, nevva erd of em. I’d rather go five rowndz in a kage wiv Alexis Texas!”

Wreckage: “What is your biggest humanitarian accomplishment?”
GG: “Probly pullin dat forn outta Niges paw wen I furst met er.”

Wreckage: “Do you think the market should be free or restricted and if restricted in what way?”
GG: “Restricted. It shud be klosed on Sundayz.”

Wreckage: “Do you just coach or have you ever played BB yourself?”
GG: “I az nevva played der game. Before I likked dat toad an went inter koachin I woz wurkin az an artist in Amazonia.”

Wreckage: “What's the root of twenty-two?”
GG: “A potato?”

Wreckage: “Who is your biggest idol, who inspired you?”
GG: “Animal frum der Muppetz.”

Wreckage: “Are you pro or anti 'spiked' balls?”
GG: “Anti definatly, koz dat fekkin skwirrel tekz em an stikkz em in igh places ter piss me off!”

Wreckage: “Is there some way to meet you in person?”
GG: “Yew kan buy me a drink in der Bridge Inn if yew want.”

Wreckage: “What is your opinion on trolls?”
GG: “I likez em, dey eetz any Jehova Witnesses oo nokkz on me door!”

Greeda Stinkbreath

R.I.P 20/01/15 vs Smuff

Killed when veteran blitzer Jennix came in an blindsided poor Greeda with a blow to the back of his head. Tragically Doc Eadcase had already used all of his medical supplies saving the life of another player and there was nothing he could do to stop Greeda's brains from spilling onto the pitch.

At the time of his death Greeda held the following records:

#3rd greatest goblin player, and best lineman ever with 286SPP's
#2nd most touchdowns scored by a goblin player, and most for a lineman with 61
#25th most passes completed by a goblin player, and #18th for a lineman with 14
#2nd most MVP awards for a goblin player, and most for a lineman with 15
He was the oldest goblin player ever with 221 games
#14th most rushing yards by a goblin player, 3rd most by a lineman with 670 paces

The Great Gobbo says:

"Well wot kan yer say? Ee wuz simply der greatest gobbo ter evva play der game. Most of iz rekordz will nevva be broken, espeshully by a lineman, an wen yew remember ee played in a gobbo lineman only teem den yew start ter realise just ow gud ee reely woz. Der new staydeeum bein built by KO! Magazine where der Tide will be relokatin to will be kalled der Greeda Stinkbreath Memorial Field in iz onor. A true legend".

Fallen Sammiches by Kam It is with deep sadness that the Sammiches announce the death of their former team mates, fallen on the pitch. Never forget. Never forgive. And bring muffins to the funeral. Sam Hotpot, Tally Burgerling, Arktorling the Foul, Rabe Dorfling, Captain Bologno, Pipin Rageling, Dan Burgerfling, Sam Hotpot, Captain Bologno, Bandobras Goodbarrel, Sam Hotpot, Phil Burgerling, Sleepling in Necrofling, Sleepling in Necrofling, Dave Gobling, Bob Bobling, Sam Hotpot, Barnodat Peperfeet, Tom Frogerling, Frodo Redemptling, Thirty Kay, Rabe Dorfling, Arktorling the Foul, Bertha Nurgleface, Zedinette, Melron Goodweed, Mr Punching Ball Jr, Penderfel Drunkenling, Bertha Nurgleface, Mr Punching Ball Jr, Kam " Coaching Skills? None", Bertha Nurgleface, Meredrin Gunflinger, Bandobras Goodbarrel, Kam " Coaching Skills? None", Bertha Nurgleface, Meredrin Gunflinger, Bandobras Goodbarrel, Mr Punching Ball Jr, Flemdo Fancypant, Bertha Nurgleface, Bertha Nurgleface, Pimpernell Strongpot, Meriadoc the Foul, Meriadoc the Foul, Gorin Spicypot, Zedinou, Van Halfling, Arktorling Spikyboot, Pifendel Minorling, Hildigrim Snotslayer, Phil Nurglefoot, Rabe Dorfling, Pimpernell Strongpot, Pipin Nufling, Bob Gunflinger, Arktorling Spikyboot, Len Luckling, Tom Nurgling, Pipin Piethrower Jr, The Sage, Bob Berserkling Jr, Dal the Helfballer, Pipin Berserkling, Mr Treesomy, Rabe Dorfling, Khor Tisone, Lipton Iced Tree, Alf Butcherling, Rondo Tzijfoot, Bob LoreFling, Alf Butcherling, Qaz Buur, Fred Nurglefoot, Mr Punching Ball, Sam Spikyboots, Mr Punching Ball, Tom Berserkling, Merry Butcherling, Merry Butcherling, Beerlo XIX, Lord of the Flings, Jock Happycake, Bob Ratling, Don Midgeto, Van Halfling, Flemdo Coffin, Zed Secondling, Van Halfling, Van Halfling, Don Midgeto, Sam Wich McFly, Bill Donkling, Rupert Nurglefoot, Van Halfling, Flemdo Coffin, Flemdo Coffin, Bill Goodwed, Tom Gunflinger, Dan Longpipe, Don Midgeto, Dave Fineweed, Carlo Fouling, Van Halfling, Bob Rastafling Jr, Don Midgeto, Tom Berserkling, Sam Butcherling, Bill Gunflinger, Van Halfling, Sam Butcherling, Phil Nurglebreath, Sam Butcherling, Flyn Strongpot, Phil Nurglebreath, Halvin Zedling, Dal Finedice, Sam Throwling, Bob Rastafling Jr, Garion Winling, Dimplecheeks Winegarner, Twinklewink Pepperbottom, Bob Strongroots, Tom Boozling, Smeagol Baggins, Phil Nurglebreath, Amy Bloodberry, Wood Socks, Jan Sammichmeister, Dave Fineweed, Sam Butcherling, Tom Goodshrooms, Franz Ganjameister, Tom Piemeister, Bill Gunflinger, Beerlo XVI, Lord of the Flings, Meriadoc Strongpot, Tom Piemeister, Beerlo IX, Lord of the Flings, Tom Boozling, Van Halfling, Van Halfling, Malween Cheeseheart, Smeagol Baggins, Bill Gunflinger, Fred Nurglefoot, Malwyn Cheeseheart, Bill Cherrypicker, Flyn Nurglebreath, Van Halfling, Amy Bloodberry, Malween Cheeseheart, Amy Bloodberry, Bob Rastafling Jr, Amy Bloodberry, Bob Rastafling Jr, Beerlo XI, Lord of the Flings, Sam Goodshrooms, Melvin Cheeseling, Melvin Cheeseling, Halvin Flyingfling, Smeagol Baggins, Flyn Nurglebreath, Tom Boozling, Merry Gunflinger, Pipin Piebasher, Tom Gunflinger, Van Halfling, Van Halfling, Bob Rastafling Jr, Tom Gunflinger, Tom Boozling, Bob Rastafling Jr, Smeagol Baggins, Bob Rastafling Jr, Van Halfling, Bob Rastafling Jr, Sauron Piestealer, Smeagol Baggins, Flyn Dirtypie, Sam Goodshrooms, Sam Goodshrooms, Merry Piebasher, Smeagol Baggins, Bob Berserkling, Van Halfling, Melwyn Cheeseheart, Bob Piebasher, Flyn Nurglefeet, Smeagol Baggins, Malwyn Cheeseheart, Richard Clumsyfield, Van Halfling, Tom Boozling, Pipin Piethrower, Phil Goodweed, Bill Winespiller, Beerbo, Lord of the Flings, Sam Resign, Mornyn Piethrower, Sigmar Drunkenponey, Malot Nurglefoot, Gordo Goodweed, Dalwin Gunflinger, Garfin Strangewine, Melron Treelove, Delin Bloodweiser, Merlot Underhill, Forlo Redale, Pippin Fullfling, Peplyn Fairbrew, Ted Goodale Jr, Ernst Greenale the Third, Ornst Diehard, Jorg Redcheese, Ted Goodale, Otto Longfeet, Franz Chouffe, Hanz Blackbread, Willow Bender

The passing of a brain chomping legend

Hello dudes!

Way back on 22nd August 2013 I'd come to the decision that I needed a new project. My one and only legend player, Buckminster Briar had exploded in a shower of tiny limbs and entrails under the angry stomping feet of a filthy ogre. The 'flings were still fun, but I'd had a taste of ridiculous players getting close to being the greatest of their kind ever.

At the time their was a lunatic coach playing an all rotter line up. We'd faced off a few times and not only had I had lots of fun, but the whole concept looked a laugh. I had a scout around and realised no one was enough of a dude to be playing an all zombie roster on a regular basis. There was one or two teams of note, who had pretty much thrown in the brain matter encrusted towel when LRB4's beautifully overpowered fouling was gimped in CRP.

Looking at the top lists it was obvious that there was little competition for building the greatest zombie ever. Dirty Cranberries were born, unapologetically punning obscurely, with the sole aim of producing the highest scoring zombie ever.

Initially we ended up with Seymour Kouriatchev as our main ball carrier. He'd picked up a double roll in his first few skills and opted for Dodge to help him avoid getting bashed off teh ball quite so easily as we ambled up the park. But then, in a shower of stat rolls came the one and only Howie Makepeace stole the duties and the limelight.

Not realising the top lists were failing to capture a lot of records from older rulesets this challenge initially looked like a cakewalk! After being pointed in the direction of the true record holder I realised the target was more than three times what I had originally thought. A flurry of Ian McShane in Deadwood style language and I decided that I'd finish what I started.

After a worrying -Ag injury early on, and while still short of the record of 69 touchdowns held by Osanne Dionysios of Stoned City Slowwalkers I opted for the unusual decision of burning a precious potion on him to keep him running long enough to get that 70th TD and batter his way into the records.

It paid off (in my eyes anyway, I'm sure some are still questioning my potion usage), and by game 107 Howie had got the record!

So what now? Having achieved his goal, I was briefly unsure what to aim for. A quick look at the top lists showed that Howie could possibly have a shot at the all time top scorers chart with a bit of luck.

So I just kept going. And going. And going. This zombie just would not die! With an insane 14 lightning strikes and 4 regen's from death it felt like nothing would stop him.

Around the 200 game mark we lost Seymour, the only other legend zombie on the team and with Howie the last remaining original member of the squad.

At almost 1000 SPP and 243 TD Howie took on the infamous Flying Sammiches, who made a crazed tree blitz early on and hit Howie so hard he lost -MA.

Much to the bemusement of all, I potioned hi again. All potions gone, and just two key goals remaining. Get 1000 SPP and be only the 10th FUMBBL player to do so, and also outscore that stinking cowardly elf Golradir.

Howie Makepeace finally got splooshed right at the end of this match when the result was already beyond us. Would have been nice to at least have some opponent gloating at his passing, but it went oddly unremarked :D

It was a brutal match for us. As anyone knows, Ogres kinda suck without dice rolling kindly. But boy did they roll kindly! I also played quite badly, which didn't help :D

3 zombies died in this game, and the greatest zombie of all time one of them.

It was a blast having Howie, watching people gangfoul, lightning strike and generally gun for him every outing was all part of his charm for me. I burned 2 potions on him to keep him going for more records. When I first made the team the only idea was to get the highest scoring zombie of all time. He thrashed that. So here's a list of his records and achievements. Not bad for an AG2 player :D

Top list standings at time of death

UNDEAD ZOMBIE ACTIVE IN RANKED #1 Top Scorers #1 Top Stars (most SPP) #1 Highest Rushing #1 Most Blocks #1 Highest Casualties (Top Blockers) #1 Most Valuable Player #1 Oldest Player #2 Highest Passing

UNDEAD PLAYER ACTIVE IN RANKED #1 Top Scorers #1 Highest Rushing #2 Top Stars (most SPP) #2 Most Blocks #2 Oldest Player #6 Top Blockers

ALL RACES ACTIVE IN RANKED #2 Highest Rushing #3 Top Scorers #4 Top Stars #4 Oldest Player

ALL TIME IN RANKED (CRP era) #2 Highest Rushing #5 Top Scorer #9 Top Stars (most SPP)

ALL TIME, ALL DIVISIONS #1 All-Time Top Scorer undead #3 All-Time Highest Rushing #6 All-Time Top Scorer

Achievements

1st ever to complete LRB6 badge - Horde Mentality - Score 3 touchdowns with Zombies in a game (Still the only zombie ever to achieve this, and has done so 6 times)

1st undead zombie in ranked to reach 30, 40, 50, 60 TD

1st zombie ever on FUMBBL to reach 70, 80, 90, 100, 110, 120, 130, 140, 150, 160, 170, 180, 190, 200, 210, 220, 230, 240, 250 TD

1st zombie ever on FUMBBL to reach 400, 450, 500, 550, 600, 650, 700, 750, 800, 850, 900, 950, 1000 SPP

8th Ranked player (CRP era) to reach 200 TD

5th Ranked player (CRP era) to reach 250 TD

10th Ranked player to reach 1000 SPP

Howie regen'd from dead 4 times!

Howie survived 14 lightning strikes!

Stats at his death were

Games:283
Rushing: 4887
Blocks: 1676
Passing: 20
Fouls: 4
SPP: 1019
CP: 7
TD: 252
In: 1
Cas: 82
MVP: 18

So farewell Howie, and it's time for the Cranberries to build a new ballcarrier :D

Make yourselves a novelty team, you'll be suprised how much fun they can be!

Where to contribute

Those wishing to contribute to the advertising sections of the Grotty Little Newspaper (GLN) should post in the appropriate section within the correctly dated GLN forum. These are regularly checked by the editors, or contact an editor in private.

House style for the GLN

Articles in the Grotty Little Newspaper, like any publication, have a set of house styles which mean that certain elements appear in a consistent style across the whole issue. Specifically, please conform to the following rules:

• FUMBBL is spelt in all capitals... NOT Fumbbl.
• Blood Bowl is spelt as two words, both capitalised... NOT Bloodbowl or Blood bowl.
• Races and positions are capitalised when they are referred to individually, so for instance you would talk about an Orc Blitzer, not an orc blitzer.
• Skill names are also capitalised. Note that both Dump-Off and Throw Team-Mate have a hyphen, but Side Step and Bone Head do not.
• Coach names are referred to as they appear on their coach pages so that, for example, m0nty is not capitalised but Christer is.
• Be careful with apostrophes. Do not use them when talking about plurals, like SPPs.
• Question-and-answer (Q&A) interviews are normally done with the questions being preceded by GLN:, not the author's name. Carriage returns (i.e. a blank line) are inserted between the Qs and As. Stage directions (when you are describing something that is happening, not being said) are put after the speech in a new line, in italics. There are no quote marks around the speech sections.

A big thanks to all those who made this issue of the GLN possible. Give them all a massive hand!

• Purplegoo: Editor, contributor, often easily confused n00b
• Kam: Contributor, coder, all around GLN enthusiast


• Throweck, footballolb16, Stonetroll, happygrue, PurpleChest, bghandras, BillBrasky, sann0638, der Great Gobbo, DrPoods, SeventyOne, spubbbba: Contributors, volunteers, heroes. Thanks to each and every one of you for your hard work!