The Beginning of the Downfall

Most of our readers know that October is the time of the year the Blood Bowl Rules Commission gathers to do its annual rules review. Apart from changing some skill rules, the BBRC this year has to decide whether the Undead team roster will be removed from the official teams. The Undead will be replaced by Necromantic, Khemri and Vampire teams. This recent development has grabbed the Blood Bowl community's attention.

When the Corpses walked the Pitch

Undead were the first Blood Bowl team I ever played. I really started to like this team, and stuck with them all of my coaching career. A reason for this is their variety of players. They can recruit cheap linemen, four fast dodgers with access to agility skills, four blitzers that are very useful even though they have no access to strength skills, and two strong blockers. With this repertoire of players the Undead team fully qualifies as a hybrid team that can play ball and can also bash with anyone. Although many coaches prefer the passing play with their undead, quite a few coaches label them as "too evil to play against". Undead also have "flair". Slow and powerful mummies hitting their opponents hard, wights running down the field in their undead anger, ghouls greedy to feed upon their living foes, and zombies and skeletons marching the pitch in envy of their living counterparts add a fun roleplaying aspect to this team.

Why should they part?

Not only me, but many coaches asked themselves and the members of the BBRC why they want the original Undead roster to die. Jervis Johnson (creator of Blood Bowl) summarized his reason for his changes to the Undead in an article in issue #9 of Blood Bowl Magazine:

"To my mind, [...] aesthetic considerations are every bit as important as the game rules - or to put this another way, Blood Bowl's enduring appeal is not only that it is a great game to play, but also that it is supported by a range of miniatures full of character and has a unique 'tongue-in-cheek' background. The old Undead team failed to do two of these three things, but the new Undead teams achieve all three. And that, in a nutshell, is why I changed them."

What will come?

Nobody really knows what the Undead future will look like. All the necromancers are looking to the release of the results of the rules review with great trepidation. If the Undead do get removed, we will have to see what the FUMBBL administration will decide to do. I hope that there will be a little spot left for them to receive their charity.

Some of you may be aware of something called a "rules review" which has been going on for the past little while. This is an annual event under the control of the Blood Bowl Rules Committee (BBRC), which considers and approves amendments to the current rule set of Blood Bowl. The reason for the BBRC's existence and its history are listed here. The annual revision of the rules is always a widely anticipated event, and this year is no different with several major changes rumored to be in the works. Speculation is rife as to additions and removals from the upcoming new version of the Living Rule Book.

The most important news is when the review will be finished. The answer is: probably some time during November, depending on the speed with which the BBRC members work. The list of possible changes is here - while this is a long list, there may be changes not listed there that will surprise us in a couple of week's time!

Candlejack has already talked about the strong possibility of the Undead team being replaced by Khemri, Necromantic and Vampire rosters on page 2 of this issue. The three new rosters (among other experimental team rosters) are already operating on FUMBBL, although it is not guaranteed that the final official rosters will be exactly the same as the ones FUMBBL is now using - there are several options being tested for the Necromantic roster.

Other team roster changes being looked at include:

The GLN staff sent our intrepid (and somewhat crazy) reporter out to get an interview with FUMBBL's highest ranked active goblin, Bucky-T. Bucky-T is the star goblin for the Ship o' Foolz, a Goblin team in the Open division that sails the seas of the Old World looking for new victims, errrr....players to join them on a "cruise".

I caught up with Bucky-T and his team just as they were heading out to go on another raid, err...cruise with some Dark Elves.

GLN reporter: Bucky, how is it that you have lived to the ripe old age of 40 (games played)?

Bucky-T: Well youz see, its not 'ard to stay alive when you stay out of harmz way, just don't get blocked and make sure that Freak on da Leash don't get too cloze when 'e's hungry. (whispers) 'e's been known to eat a git or two.

GLN reporter: What is it that makes you such a "special" goblin?

Bucky-T: Me mum said it wuz becuz o' who me fodder wuz...she sayd it wuz da legend 'imself, Helmut. Dat 'e wuz da one who intiled, err...installd, u'hm instill'd iz jeanz in mee and maid mee da spittyng imaag 'f 'imselv.

GLN reporter: So you're saying that you are Helmut's son?

Bucky-T: No, dat's what me mum sayz. (Bucky-T looks at the reporter with a confused look on his face.)

GLN reporter: What is the secret behind your ability to score so quickly?

Bucky-T: (looks at his behind) Oh dats nuthing, most times my buddy Unchained just picks me up when I haz da ball and tosses me over da opponentz headz and I runz around, den I score, purdy simple.

GLN reporter: Well, thanks for your time, Bucky, and I hope you continue to do well on your raids, errr...cruises I mean.

Hello, it's GLN's roving reporter Herald O. Riviera here, bringing you the first in a series of interviews with the real people behind Blood Bowl - the officials. Through these cosy little chats you will learn more about the tireless workers and humble peons who do all the little jobs in the change rooms, on the training tracks and in the brothels after the games that go unnoticed in the match reports, but make the players' lives a lot easier.

First in our interview series is Halfmoon "Moonshine" Proudfoot, the plucky little halfling bootstudder. He has been the property steward for countless teams over the years, and been sacked by as many for various rumored indiscretions involving his procurement of illicit substances and weapons for his players. His passion for Blood Bowl is surpassed in legend only by his lust for food. Loved by players and fans, hated by referees, he is known simply as: Moonshine.

GLN: Mr Proudfoot, welcome to GLN, it's a pleasure to finally meet you.

HP: (seems distracted) Fine, fine, hello. I was told there would be dumplings and apple crumbles at this interview?

GLN: Erm? yes. (signals frantically at buxom young female assistant) We'll have those for you presently. Now the first question I want to ask you is... why do they call you Moonshine?

HP: I prefer to think it's because of my romantic nature, but I know it's due to those terrible stories about me in the gutter press concerning certain events in matches for which I claim no responsibility whatsoever. Ah, here's the grub, and a pretty wench to boot! (He winks at the assistant and tucks into a huge plate of dumplings which she has just put on the table in front of him.)

GLN: You're talking about the matches involving goblin teams?

HP: Yes, I have a long association with goblin teams, such as the Grotty Little Wankers and Chemical Reaction. I would like to state for the record - mmph, that's a nice dumpling - that I have never been caught smuggling any kind of secret weapons or illegal drugs into any stadium in my career.

GLN: So have you actually done anything illegal?

HP: That's another question.

GLN: Why do you think people accuse you of doing such terrible things?

HP: Mostly, it's jealousy of the achievements of the teams I am associated with, Herald. They look at the record of the Wankers or some of the players at Chemical Reaction and think they must be doped up on drugs or have daggers hidden about their persons to have achieved all that they have.

GLN: Can you categorically say that you have not provided any unfair advantages to players from these teams?

HP: I must compliment your lovely assistant on a particularly nice set of dumplings.

GLN: ... OK then. Tell me about some of the players you've had on your massage table.

HP: Well, there was that one little blonde girl... Oh, you mean Blood Bowl players! Right! Well, of course there was Enjoyment, Nuffle bless 'is departed soul. Actually, he were a right bugger in the changing rooms, always wanting this and that. "Moonshine, get me a drink," he'd say. "Moonshine, get me a towel," he'd holler. "Moonshine, bandage my broken leg!" I mean really, it was all me me me with him.

GLN: Who else then?

HP: Well, I once did some work for the Terrifying Anarchists of Naggaroth, in particular greasing up the arm of their star thrower Alexander Lurkman, who is the all-time passing champion of FUMBBL. Boy, what a prima donna! He had six beautiful elf maidens around him at all times meeting his every need, and when I say every need, I mean...

GLN: Yes Mr Proudfoot, I'm sure we know what you mean. I believe you also worked for Deathgerbils Revenge.

HP: Yes, although I lived to regret it. I still have nightmares about that nasty minotaur Pikachu asking me to oil his horn.

GLN: Eww. So did you ever do any work for any of your fellow halflings?

HP: Well, I'm a bit embarrassed about that. I was contracted to provide some assistance for the Midgical Mastery Tour once, but as we were preparing I got to talking with their chef about mead recipes, and one thing led to another, and the morning after the game I woke up in the gutter outside the stadium wearing nothing but a chef's apron and a tattoo on my left buttock which said GIL WOZ ERE.

GLN: Hmmm. On that slightly distasteful note, we had better finish up. Have you any message for our loyal Blood Bowl fans out there?

HP: Sure. Remember kids, pitch invasions are dangerous for young uns, so wait until your dad has stomped that nasty wardancer into the ground before you run on the field to kick him in the goolies.

GLN: Be with us next week when we interview another quiet achiever of Blood Bowl. Herald O. Riviera reporting for GLN.

Gobbo Offence

If you are on offence and your opponent has a similar amount of players on the pitch, one of the best tactics is to bring the ball to a stunty near your tosser and toss him deep into the half of your opponent. That's the moment when you need an ogre, because a Long Bomb won't end in a fumble on a 5+. Getting an AG increase on an ogre helps a lot.

Some opponents feel the need to line up all their players one square in front of the end zone. For such moments I pray! Usually it's way more easy to knock down their frontline, move forward with ball carrier and your tossing ogre and toss the sweet little guy one turn later. The shorter the toss, the more likely it will succeed.

If you roll a double on a skill, use it first on Sure Hands. This will save a lot of rerolls on your offence turns. Some coaches like Dirty Player a lot, and I must agree a bit. Sometimes it's really good to foul one after the other to get a big advance on the pitch. You should never forget that fouling a stunty usually hurts more than fouling anyone else, but true stunties fight back! Show them that there is nothing able to stop a stunty.

If things are really bad, try the irregular moves if there is still a chance to get the TD. Sometimes it may be better to flee but hey, you are stunty, and stunties can do anything.

Gobbo Defence

Difficult. Depending on your opponent's strategy and his players, you can put your big guys on the frontline or keep em a bit in the back to blitz a worthwhile target. If you ever get the chance to roll a double on a skill, take Kick as soon as possible, right after Sure Hands. Then you have a way better chance to decide where the ball goes. This may give you a great shot on a blitz or a failed opponent's ball-handling to toss a stunty into his backyard and go for the ball.

Another good skill is Strip Ball. Nowhere on the field is any player safe and protected from a flying stunty aiming to knock the ball out of his hands. And most coaches forget to go for Sure Hands, which will give you a big chance to get the needed pushback.

Some good skills I always take are Side Step and Diving Tackle. Those annoy your opponent a lot and give you some good moves on his turn. More than once I was able to slip through his LOS (line of scrimmage) and put extra pressure on the ball carrier. Diving Tackle is just perfect against elves, who think they can dodge away all the time.

So, you want to know what's been going on behind the scenes?

As I'm writing this I'm waiting for my opponent in a tournament that tests a new format called Swiss. You could say that it's a variation of a knockout but where no one is actually knocked out. The tournament organizer specifies a number of rounds to be played and each round is generated one by one based on the score each player has. The ideal is that each round, you play against someone with the same number of points (2 for a win and 1 for a tie). However, you avoid playing against the same opponent if possible. This format is very common in tabletop tournaments as it lets everyone play an equal number of matches and also allows someone to win the tournament despite a tie or a loss.

This is added fairly close to the Open Round Robin format which is an unscheduled "everyone against everyone else" type of tournament. Nothing much to say, other than it seems to be a quickly running type of tournament.

What else? Hmm.. Oh, I finally got around to allow people to delete images from their personal gallery. It's just one of those things that has been on my to-do list for ages. :)

That about covers the recent changes to the site, so let's move on to what I have on my to-do list and what's on the planning/consideration stage.

I intend to add more seeding algorithms to the tournaments: TR, Str, Coach ranking and team ranking at first and maybe others as I think of them. Later on I would like it if it was possible to seed based on score from other tournaments and/or the group.

I also want to add a "max games" cutoff for the open round robin, so that the tournament organizer can have the tournament end after everyone has played a set number of games. This will streamline the tournament even more and allow them to be completed even faster.

The most recent "big thing" added is what is called Factions. It's actually so new I edited this article to update this section. As I'm writing this, I have it all in a testable state and will announce it shortly.

The basic concept is blatantly stolen from national soccer leagues. All teams are divided into factions(groups) of 20 teams. Every month, each team is allowed to play 10 games against the other teams in the faction and only once against the same opponent per month. At the end of the month, the top three teams in each faction (except for the topmost one), get promoted to a higher faction and the lowest three get relegated to a lower one. To make people who don't play move out of the way quicker, any team that has less than three games played in a month automatically gets relegated (as one of the three). This can, if necessary, relegate more than three teams after a round if necessary. Of course, retired teams get removed entirely when this "reordering" takes place.

I am hoping this will create a very competitive environment and there will surely be a lot of new strategies to consider.

And that's it for this issue! Catch you all next time.

Note: As you all probably know by now, the Swiss tournament format is publically available and the factions are chugging along now. Obviously, there have been some changes to the number of games played per round in order to build up the teams and let things settle. The current plans say that we will switch to a biweekly schedule with a maximum of 8 games and 4 required to not be automatically relegated. The switch is likely to happen at some point in November.

When Cusi challenged me to write an editorial and something about tourneys, I couldn't refuse. But I couldn't help myself and I had to give it that special A.N.A.R.C.H.I.S.T. twist. Hence the column title and format.

FUMBBL is a fantastic site but you may soon be craving something more than playing games in Open. Thankfully, FUMBBL provides ample support to run all kinds of wonderful tournaments. I've run a few and have had the privilege of participating in several really fun tournaments. I'm going to share with you some of my insights and hopefully inspire you to run a successful tourney.

Thematic. A good tourney should have a coherent fun theme. Who would want to play in "8 Team Knockout Tournament" run by JustACoach when they could enter "Mama Says Knock You Out" run by MC_Mama where all the teams must be named after bad rap groups. Provide your tournament with a story and you'll have a leg up on the competition. Special rules and other gimmicks will also help you stand out from the crowd and help you in recruiting coaches.

Organized. Do some planning and research. A well-run tournament is always a well-thought-out tournament first. Don't try to run a tournament on the fly or you'll find coaches flying away from your tournament. Draft some rules and a schedule. Get some feedback from some coaches who've run successful tournaments before. Then present your well-thought-out tournament to the public. You'll look much more professional then the "let's make up the rules as we go" tournament organizers.

Unambiguous. Be clear about the purpose of your tournament. If you want to run an Elfbowl Tournament, state it up front. That way coaches can make informed decisions about which tournaments to join and with what teams. Be clear about your rules. If you've got special house rules or scoring systems, state if up front. Unexpected decrees from tournament organizers tend to leave everyone a little shell-shocked and disappointed.

Realistic. A 160 team tournament broken down into racial pools with a regular season and some playoffs might seem like a really cool thematic tournament, but it's not very likely to be completed. You'll need too many dedicated coaches with a long-term vision to complete a tournament like this. It's probably not going to happen. When it comes to tourneys it's quality not quantity that counts. Your better off running a small, well-thought-out tournament with people clamouring to get in than a massive monstrosity that never gets completed.

Nimble. Humans make mistakes. Rules that seemed reasonable prove to be completely unbalanced. People have lives. Coaches drop out. No matter how hard you prepare for your tournament, chances are something unexpected is going to happen. You'll have to be flexible to come up with fair solutions to these kinds of events. If you are graceful in handling these disturbances, coaches will return to your future tournaments because they know that you'll handle things justly.

Enthusiasm. Nothing attracts coaches more than an enthusiastic tournament organizer. You'll need enthusiasm to sell your tournament. If it's contagious, you'll be well on your way to a successful tournament. On the other hand, if your heart is not into running the tournament, it will show and your tournament will suffer.

Yahoo! Most importantly make it fun! There can only be one champion, but everyone in the tournament can be a winner if they had fun. Your tournament should be about more then just winning games. It's the little extra touches that promote fun for all the participants. Pay attention to these other little details and you'll have more than the champion returning to your next tourney. And that's the best sign of a successful tourney!

Challenge: If you think your tournament meets the above criteria, send me some FUMBBL mail with the details of your tourney. I'll review the entries and announce the winner in my next column.

The FUMBBL User Guide is a great tool for rookies or vets of our online Blood Bowl community. This online encyclopedia for FUMBBL is a living rule book for our community. This week we will look into the Strategy and Tips section. The Strategy and Tips section will answer many Blood Bowl questions.

Need help with team creation? The User Guide can show you many viable starting teams. For example, if you have never ran a Norse team before and would like to know a good starting setup, the User Guide has a great Norse setup already detailed for you! Many teams starting lineups are not only given to you but also the pros and cons of each setup are gone over by many of the best Blood Bowl coaches. Old vets should look to get new ideas, and rookies should look to see why their 0 reroll 4 chaos warrior 1 fan factor team is laughed at and can't get games.

The User Guide has a section for all. Rolled doubles on your troll slayer and having trouble deciding what skill to pick for him? The development section gives you handy links to areas where skills have been debated and opinions given on almost everyone.

Having trouble on defense? Can not stop that gutter runner from scoring in two turns? The User Guide has a section on Defensive Setups that can help you work out a viable strategy.

The User Guide is open to all. Know a good setup you wish to share? Have you found a great progression for a Skaven storm vermin that people do not know? Share your wisdom and add a page to the User Guide under the correct heading.

The User Guide is the FUMBBL community's encyclopedia and can become one of the best tools on the site for everyone. Please explore it and add to it as you can.

Hello sport fans!

This is Mathias Hoghead reporting about the new Faction division that everybody is so excited about. Standing next to me is Zum Bäcker, one of the top scorer's from the Goblin team Die Ärzte.

GLN:Your team has been smashed up pretty bad the last few games. You were one of the few players that was lucky enough to withstand the carnage without any permanent injuries. How do you view the Factions as a whole and your own specifically?

Bäcker: Let me tell you Bob: it makes a big difference what Faction you're in! Sometimes i get the feeling our Faction is all Chaos Dwarf and Ork teams. I still remember the game we played against Doc Pain's Mean Machine in my nightmares! They came running on the field screaming, "KILL THE DAMN MINI ORKS!! ". If you want to survive in the Factions you gotta be a sneaky git. Pick your opponents wisely. One of the few good things playing in a team full of little green losers is that you can freely choose who you're playing. Everybody wants to beat up the poor gobbos! Teams that develop a reputation of killing and maiming more players than usual will have a hard time finding coaches that are willing to let their players get smashed to pieces.

GLN: So do you think coaches will think of new ways to train their team? Maybe focusing on scoring and winning games instead of crushing the opponent and ignoring the ball? Uhm.. and the name is Mathias...

Bäcker: Whatever Bob... Only time will tell how the Factions will turn out. After all, brutal beatings and nasty fouls are what the fans want ! But there have been a massive movement of Elf and Skaven teams up into Faction One. And if our stupid troll stops eating his teammates instead of throwing them we'll be right up there with them soon!

FUMBBL Cup II is about to start, and all the teams are raring to go, itching to get their fingers around the necks of their opponents, throwing them to the ground and stomping them into the dirt. On rare occasions, they want to get the ball and carry it into the opposing end-zone as swiftly as possible. Me, I think they should give me the ball so I can show them how it's done. These kids have no style! You should have seen me back in the day, I was all over everyone! Ah, memories.

Now, to get back to the Cup... It promises to be an exciting spectacle to compete in and to watch, even more so than in its first incarnation, but with approximately a hundred teams competing it's getting hard to see who's in with a chance. Everyone is looking at the Zharrduk Juggernauts, of course, hoping to see them smeared across the pitch in interesting pigments, and everyone is cheering on their own team, but all the other teams are wildcards. Thus, in a moment of true genius, the GLN editors sent out me, goblin star reporter and one of the all-time top scorers, to go and take a look at all the major competitors. Or maybe it was because they were getting tired of my yammering and wanted me to leave the building. In any case, here I am now, so let's get started!

We'll start off with the coach who reached the finals of both the last FUMBBL Cup, and the X-Cup - Malthor - who is currently at the head of the strongest Chaos Dwarf team to enlist: the Zharrduk Juggernauts. Truly a strong team, with a hefty centaur at the helm, a large troll, and lots of dwarves who are very good at what they do. The hobgoblins have a reputation for being sneaky gits, and are well-protected by the rest of the team at all times. The head coach also has a reputation for hiring a multitude of stars - primarily His Ugliness Hthark (don't tell him I called him that) - and with over seven hundred thousand gold pieces in his treasury they won't miss what I took. Um? Of course I meant to say that all their money would serve to hire Hthark multiple times during this Cup as well. Can they make it all the way? Should be doable.

From Chaos Dwarfs we'll go to High Elves, where the ever-redoubtable great coach of yore, Korhil, has his Dragon Princes lined up for battle. Other than the fact that High Elves don't kill as many Goblins as Chaos Dwarves, I also find that the way they play gives more interesting matches than those featuring the almighty stomping power of the bashers and their stars - with exceptions, of course. The Dragon Princes have all the plays in their repertoire: the Long Pass, the flying leap ninja tackle, the unstoppable linemen, and so on. They miss the amazing Soaring Helmut, but you can't have everything. Korhil himself always said he liked a challenge, and that he could beat bashy teams that played to kill easily. He'll have the chance to prove himself right, and no doubt he'll do it - but can the elves withstand multiple poundings? Can they make it all the way? It's in the hands of the gods.

Back to Chaos to look at our all-time favourite basher, mighty Wuhan! Bubble Gum Crisis looks ready to bring on the smack-down, killing one of the strongest Bull Centaurs in the game twice in their final warm-up match. This team will kill, maim and slaughter. They will hit, they will laugh, and they will foul. And they'll do it with style, and leave you eating trail-dust as the ball zips towards the end-zone. Every elf's nightmare - and that of many dwarfs - a bashing team that knows what a ball looks like. Can they make it all the way? Luckyhan, make it so!

Escaping the Wastes, we're off to Naggaroth, where we find the Terrifying Anarchists. Coach EvolveToAnarchism's die-hard, become-a-legend-or-die-trying policies have resulted in the monster team that is one of the greatest FUMBBL legends there are. The skills they have are amazing! Unfortunately, so are their injuries. Prowling the changing rooms for valuables, I could hardly hear myself think for the whining: "Coach, my knee hurts, I don't think I can play today!"; "Coach, I have a throbbing pain in my back; Coach?". Can they make it all the way? Sure they can - if every player pays a fortune for corrective surgery.

Having heard enough whining, I thought I'd head off and see some silent players. Vladimyr's Undead, the Death Dealers, are some of the strongest in the game. Their mummies are downright scary, without displaying any signs of the alarming falling disease that causes them to lie down on their opponents after hitting them (seriously, so many mummies have it, it reminds me of my old mate Smelly who kept having these shaking fits, and falling over - it kept him out of playing games against dwarves and the like - it was downright creepy). They also have some mighty good-looking wights on the team, and their top two ghouls are great - if they show up for the match. I've also never seen zombies move quite so fast as those of the Death Dealers - I barely got away. Last time I try and filch something shiny from a tomb. Can they make it all the way? Definitely!

Stopping by in the Empire to sell what I found - making a tidy profit! - I killed two flies with one stone and paid a visit to the Tilean Tyrants, coached by Korkrest. This human team is renowned throughout the Empire for the number of matches they have played, and their amazing ball-handling skills. Relatively injury-free and followed around by a veritable army of fans, this team can take a pounding and dish it out, can sack the opposing ball-carrier, and can then toss the leather to a catcher and score in two blinks of an eye. Can they make it? I don't see why not.

So off to the forest, pockets a-jingle, to meet the happy Wood Elf squad of coach Mafo, W. Arsenal. I didn't have a good time there - one crack about tights and I was hanging by my ankles while a treeman used me as a piñata. This team has some mean elves, and isn't just here to get slaughtered. However, with the very little armour they wear they aren't likely to manage to field a whole team - or indeed half a team - if they run into rabid minotaurs or zombies with heavy boots. Can they make it all the way? Maybe, if the injuries go their way.

With the elves being downright rude, I though I'd try my luck with the dwarves. Coach Indûr has this team called the Iron Guards. Sixteen staunch dwarves, with hardly any injuries - or none I could see under that layer of grime and hair, anyway - all with plenty of games under their belts, all ready to rumble. This team combines agility and strength like no other dwarf team, skilled and rock-solid. Can they make it all the way? Yes, sir!

Not long after this I found myself among a bunch of stinky rats. Thankfully ogres often smell worse, as do trolls, so that didn't matter too much as I'm used to it. I met this rat called Bendrig who apparently coaches a team called something really weird - wait, I wrote it down - Dovie'andi se tovya sagain. Sheesh! Well, I looked over their players and saw them playing, and I was pretty amazed! This was the weirdest skaven team I'd ever seen. Little guy with horns charging and knocking over anyone he could reach, flanked by some of the fastest and strongest players ever to grace the pitch. Those are throwers? If their name-card didn't say so I would never have guessed. And what is that short fellow with all the muscles? Apparently it's supposed to be a gutter runner, but he sure fooled me. Can they make it all the way? Eminently, if their armour holds.

After this I made my way closer to home again, only being waylaid twice - at first by a roving band of orcs. These Mordor Boys as they called themselves were led by Warchief Callo, and they informed me they too played Blood Bowl. After relieving me of my valuables, they had me try and escape their lines - and I really couldn't find a way out, which is very impressive, if I do say so myself. The big black orcs are plenty strong, and the blitzers know what they're doing. As if that wasn't enough, every time I was almost there, one of their silly goblins wrapped himself around my legs and dragged me to the floor. In the end, their ogre picked me up and threw me across the glade. Can they make it all the way? Arr, matey.

Thinking I had escaped, I stood up and dusted myself off. Unfortunately a little sadistic goblin came up to me and invited me to dance. He introduced me to what he called a "samba" but in fact he was just trying to feel if I had any money in my pouches. I did, but only after I took it off him. This goblin introduced himself as Lord Splutticus, and his friends were Splutteralis Excorporated. Granted, there were two trolls, and one looked pretty strong, but face it, they're goblins, and incompetent ones at that. Not anything like me and Eyedindewit in the old days. Can they make it all the way? Not in a million years.

Escaping these goblins, I was in the Empire once more. I asked around to see if anyone knew of any halflings playing in the Cup. Apparently, there aren't any - looks like they're planning to stay out of the game and beat everyone to lunch. Typical halfling mentality. I should try it some time.

This was Helmut, goblin super-star, reporting for the GLN. Enjoy the Cup!

The Axis & Allies group is nearing the end of its first full season, with the three end-of-season cups closing in on their grand finals. A&A was set up as a group to test out the new experimental undead races versus the three allied teams, and some clear trends have emerged already.

First, vampires are difficult to play, especially at low TRs. In such bashy company, it was decided half-way through the first league season to replace vamps with Nurgle's Rotters. In fact, the vamps were getting beaten so hard that ChickenBrain left in disgust - a hasty act made in anger which he unsuccessfully tried to rescind later. More than one coach expressed regret at poor starting roster selection, with many looking back and thinking they bought too many vampire players and not enough rerolls. The decision to change races was made with the participation of the coaches, in particular the coaches of the vampire teams themselves. Along with the drop-out of another coach due to personal reasons, this meant that a "pre-season" had to be played between candidates to replace the outgoing teams, which became known as the Cutthroat Open.

Trends throughout the rest of the main tournament have become apparent in the spread of races throughout the positions. Khemri teams with Piling On mummies seemed to do best at racking up SPPs and wins amongst the undead teams, with Necromantic teams not doing badly either. In fact, all four winners of the league divisions were undead teams. Lustrian teams suffered more than the other allied teams, with Chaos Pact looking the strongest. At the end of the first league season, the two "wildcard" entries into the top-level Battle Bowl were CP and Necro, with Indûr's Red Storm Rising Chaos Pact team already winning through the allied side of the draw to the final. The Nurgle's Rotter teams are yet to be tested in mixed company, save for a loss in their Battle Bowl quarter final against the highest-rated team in the group, AvatarDM's Super Smash Bros. Melee.

Awards for individual players for the first league season are listed here. Special mention must be made of Gregory Archer, a thrower for golroc's Goody Two-Shoes Old World team, who got hit by a rock on his first kick-off, was raised as a zombie by oeuftete's opposing Moonbeams team, and was hit by another rock in the same game, earning him the honour of A&A Fan Favourite. In his second game he sustained a niggling injury and in his third he died under a mummy.

I look forward to the finals being played, and the second season starting.

FUMBBL is looking for a new logo. Link your suggested logo in the GLN forums. The best submissions will be chosen by the FUMBBL admins to participate in a poll. The winner gets a prize of their choice*, up to and including a statistic increase on one of their players! Your logo could appear on the FUMBBL site, plus shirts and other merchandise which will help support the site. The winner will be announced in a future edition of GLN.

All images submitted to FUMBBL for the contest must be original work and become property of FUMBBL. Submitted images must be a maximum of 400 pixels in height and width. Submitted images must be easily convertible into a vector-based image format - thus no bitmap images so complex that they cannot be converted into a cartoon style.

Those wishing to contribute to the Grotty Little Newspaper (GLN) should either post in the obituary or advertisment section within the correctly dated GLN forum. These are regularly checked by the editors. If your forum contribution is erased it was probably used and is safely tucked into the correct area of the GLN.

For those wishing to contribute an article to the GLN please go to the IRC channel #Grotty_Little_Newspaper and speak to either m0nty or me about it.

Thank You,
Cusi

The Grotty Little Newspaper would like to thank the following people for making the GLN possible:

Necromancer:
Christer

Mummies:
Cusi, m0nty

Zombies:
Candlejack, Chickenbrain, Indur, Gorritakid, moekel, Mezir, Trog and EvolveToAnarchism

Ghouls:
BadMrMojo, Tore

Troll:
Peikko

Special Guest Hobbit:
Ve6neo

Keep up the good work fellas!