A Lecture on How to Coach Humans
Ahem! Good morning, students… (They really are a hideous sight this year!) Erm. Okay. Let's calm down this racket and concentrate on the lecture… I don't care if that imbecile wants to show you an interesting piece of snot he found on the floor… Anyway, I hope you will all listen to me as I prepare you for the task in hand, which will be "How to Play and Win with Humans!" So get those fingers out of your noses and get those quills scribbling because I'm not going to repeat what I say to you now! Pay attention…
What is the Human team?
Human teams are best described as unpredictable. These guys can adjust to any game, score from anywhere and beat down the opponent at the same time. What more could you want? You will have the necessary resources to switch tactics during a play if required. They are one of the easier teams to coach because of this versatility and are a common starter team for new coaches. However, this versatility can also lead to confusion with new coaches because of all the options you have.
How to make your team
A lot of coaches fall at the first hurdle. However, you will not! Important questions you should ask yourself at this stage are: what is my preferred play style? What race are my opponents? Look at each player and list the benefits and drawbacks that they bring your team.
0-12 Linemen 6 3 3 8 50k G
- Are cheap & easy to replace.
- Love to do the jobs other players hate!
- Are unskilled.
- Have limited access to skills.
Summary: These guys should be the backbone of your team. Plugging holes, lending assists, tying up nasty players - and they make excellent foulers! Just don't rely on them to do anything else…
0-2 Throwers 6 3 3 8 Sure Hands, Pass 70k GP
- Have excellent ball handling skills.
- Can provide a secondary scoring option if you employ the running game.
- Are vulnerable and need protection.
- If they are removed from play then you have no passing option.
Summary: These guys are the glamour players of your team, lofting accurate long passes and also able to switch style and run accompanied by two Blitzers with the Guard skill. Don't allow them to get blocked as you can't afford to lose the passing option on your team, your team's strength lies in its ability to play all styles of Blood Bowl…
0-4 Blitzers 7 3 3 8 Block 90k GS
- Have excellent stats.
- Can access Strength skills.
- Are versatile.
- Can pound the opposition and are capable of the odd deft touch.
- Are expensive and difficult to replace.
Summary: You can score or smash with these guys, you can have four killers or four proficient defenders or a mixture of the two - it is up to you! They will never be as good at scoring touchdowns as Catchers, so it is unwise to develop them in this way…
0-4 Catchers 8 2 3 7 Catch, Dodge 70k GA
- Are fast and capable scorers.
- Can develop into excellent defenders.
- Are relatively cheap.
- Are very weak and possess weak armour.
- Require careful management as they can hog the experience your team gains through its matches.
- Need lots of protection.
Summary: Excellent scorers and ball retrievers but they need careful management as they can easily become very experienced and delay development of the rest of your team. They are very easily injured and will need to be well protected! They are good value for money, and even when you do lose one, they are easier to replace than Elven Catchers.
0-1 Ogre 5 5 2 9 Mighty Blow, Thick Skull, Big Guy, Bone Head, Throw Team-Mate, 120k S
- Adds serious muscle to your LoS.
- Induces fear in your opponent.
- May distract your opponent from your main scoring/defensive threats.
- Is very expensive!
- Is unreliable!
- Is unable to use team rerolls.
Summary: Although he is arguably the most reliable Big Guy in the sport, he is still unreliable, so use him only after you finish the important tasks of your turn (at least until he has a few skills). When he rolls triple skulls (and he will!) don't say I didn't warn you! He can become the showpiece of your team and the bane of other teams but he is expensive and needs a lot of attention.
Okay, I think it is time for a break. There is a tavern across the road you can go to, but be back in 15 minutes and don't bring back any drunkards! (No… Not even the head of department if you see him!)
The lecture continues on the next page.