Nuffle Is A God
Hello all! This is Rachet Axelbender Niklotz, thanking you for joining the latest GLN report.
Unfortunately, I cannot divulge information on my exact current whereabouts, like normally. The reason for that is that I myself do not know where I am exactly! I am currently in a sanctuary of sorts – a temple, if you will. However, during my long trip to get here, lasting about three days, I have been kept blindfolded. All I know, is that I am somewhere in the heart of the Old World, possibly within the large human Empire. I am here to give all you Grotty Little Newspaper readers the low down on a religious cult that has been drawing secretive followers from all over the world. I am here to report on the Sacred Esoteric Order of Nuffle!
The Sacred Esoteric Order of Nuffle is a religious cult that believes that the god Nuffle should be worshipped outside of Blood Bowl matches as well. The Order has been steadily growing in secrecy since its original founding, drawing away followers from all corners of the world. It is not just Blood Bowl fans that have been converted to the cult, but also followers who formerly worshipped the mighty Sigmar or the bloodthirsty Khorne!
Right now I am in one of the many hidden gathering places of the cult. The locations of these places are kept strictly secret, since the cult would surely be persecuted by the authorities. The reason for that is that while all believe in Nuffle's existence, they also believe his realm should not exceed beyond the glory of the Blood Bowl pitch. These people believe otherwise and their increasing influence scares many. Perhaps with reason: Nuffle would surely be able to gather a massive following quickly if this would really catch on, since everyone watches Blood Bowl. The message would spread like a wildfire!
Ah, listen carefully! It looks like the cultists are chanting right now.
“Woe to you, Oh Pitch of Blood, for Nuffle sends his beasts with wrath,
because he knows the time is short...
Let him who hath understanding reckon the number of the beasts
for it is Nuffle's number, its number is One and Ten.”
Doesn't that just chill you to the bone? It sure does for me.
Please note that the followers of Nuffle are of all kinds of backgrounds. Sure, the main group is human, but there is surprisingly little hatred between different races. Here at this ritual we see a group of eleven, not surprisingly. There are five humans, two orcs, a couple of different kind of elves and finally even a vampire. That vampire looks a bit famished, so I'll stay clear of him! I would love to speak with any of them, but to tell you the truth, it doesn't look like any of them will be much of use. They are definitely in some kind of state of religious trance.
Fortunately, I had a word with one of the cult's members earlier today. He explained it to me more or less in the following way.
What does Sigmar do? What does Nurgle do? What does the Horned Rat do, Shallya or any other god in the world? They reward their followers with blessings – the exact nature of the blessing depends on the god, of course. We desire Nuffle's blessing, as it is the most direct. It directly influences fate. With Nuffle's blessing, you will never lose a fight or fail a dodge. With Nuffle's favour, the world lies at your feet.
It seems to me that we are just dealing with a passing phase. Because what these cultists are forgetting, is that Nuffle is a fickle god. Nuffle does not care about any followers: he will not treat them any differently.
This is Rachet Axelbender Niklotz for the GLN – until next time!
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