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 Issue 2 - November 16, 2503
Gobbo Powah

Famous star Copper from Chemical Reaction interviewed Kikkit from Stunted Green Machine.

Copper: 'ello Kickit.

Kikkit: 'ello Missur Copper.

Copper: I'fe 'eard zome rumurz 'bout yar rizing team!

Kikkit: We wuz rizin fazt, we waz.

Copper: Cood ya pleze ixplain whoot 'appened?

Kikkit: We waz beatin the big uns, the lille uns and even the ded big uns. We waz fazt we waz quicks and we waz ded dirty.

***Kikkit grins cheekily***

Copper: All for the famili, of corze?

Kikkit: Yeah, we start'd off slow we did.

Copper: Rumorz are that ya bribed the refz to get relegated that fazt.

Kikkit: Hehe, du ref werent bribed, 'e waz freatened.

Copper: How waz it pozible to rize into faktion one wiv only 4 winz?

Kikkit: Ahhh.. ***scratching his head*** ya see, they was such good winz, we beats the umies, we beatz dut pointy dwarfz, and zo we waz raized up to duh 2nd wun. Then we unleashed our bestest gobbos: Duh Flingit and Thrillit. They was greatest gobbos me ever seen, 'cept you and Missur 'elmut o' course.
(Yeah, there 'e bootlicked me... I almost trusted 'im, but he should 'ave mentioned Bucky-T of Ship o'Foolz)

Copper: The Chemical Reaction has followed your rize and fall, and we all swore revenge.

***Kikkit sniffles a little***

Kikkit: We wuz robbd by dirty ded men, they killed Missur Thrillit.

*** Copper waves into the back at 'elium and whizperd zome wizhez for food into hiz ear.***

Kikkit: Dey had a wight who hitz Missur Thrillit so 'ard 'e waz out of thiz lille land an we wizn't 'appy but we woz held back by our fanz.

*** Kikkit breaks down sobbing***

*** Helium returns with a plate of steaming elf hearts to snack on***

Copper: Juzt keep on, one ear is alwayz listening

Kikkit: It waz duh who killed our most famouz gobbo, 'e picked up Flingit, 'e dod and poor duh got confused an he ruddy ate Flingit. And so we lozt uz two beztezt gobboz.

Copper: Time to give up...?

Kikkit: Not in thiz lifez, we doezn't!

***Kikkit gobbles elf hearts two at a time***

Copper: Whatz the goal of yar team, whatz the real meaning?

Kikkit: We wuz 'ere to winz but now wez gonna kill an hurtz an run around lotzez.

Copper: Goblin Nation thougt of beein in firzt faction.

Kikkit: Did theyz? Bah, theyz couldnt take it 'ere - it's for the big, ish wunz.

Copper: One kinda obviouz point is the lack of fanz. Whatz up, why iz your team not one who is loved?

Kikkit: We just 'as to keeps du fans out cos they can be a bit louds and me must say we doesnt like loud noises means we can tellz when duh enemies is sneaking up on usses.

Copper: Fanz is important, let em all in!

Kikkit: Well meez betters be off, me az to finds some more of duh gobboz to play for uz.

***Kikkit looks uncomfortable discussing fans and standz to leave***

Copper: One lazt queztion, iz there zomething you'd like to do, like playing for real famouz teamz Ship O' Foolz or Chemical Reaction?

***Long pause and hope flickers in kickit's eyes then they dim to their normal dull red***

Kikkit: Nahz, me likez dis team. Byez!

***Kikkit shoves az many elf hearts az pozible into 'is 'ollow crutchez***

Copper: Zee ya zoon on tha pitch.

 
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