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 Issue 3 - December 18, 2503
Match of the Issue
by Mully

It is a brilliant sunny day here in Argoth where the Chaos Dwarf Clydesdale Blitzers at 19-2-4 take on the human Night Priests at 30-3-1. This battle of titans should be a fast moving, yet hard hitting affair.

The Blitzers coached by Game Avatar are led by a couple of spunky hobgoblins Ara and Borz.

The Night Priests are coached by SoftnFluffy and are led by their star QB/Receiver combo Runner Gyn and Old Priest Grunder Mayun.

The CDs have won the toss and choose to receive.

OH MY !!! It looks like the refs are drooling over the Night Priest scantily clad cheerleaders because the Priests have raced over the line of scrimmage and set up a position before the ball has even hit the ground. And catcher Runner Mul has snared the ball from the air before the dwarves had a chance to react.

Boy if you thought the chaos dwarves were pissed before the game, look at them now. First block of the game by Xanthus and CRACK, time is called while a skilless lineman is taken away to the BH box. The hobgoblins move fearlessly to surround the cage.

The teams and the ball are at a standstill at the North end of the field while a minor scrum is occurring at the South end. Wait I spot the Apothecary sprinting out to the South end. Apparently superstar Night Priest lineman Apprentice Gurlip Burnt is lying on his back with a broken neck. Chaos Dwarf Black is pounding his chest shouting "I am an evil Dwarf, I am an evil Dwarf!." The Apoth has applied a neck brace and a generous supply of morphine and it looks like Burnt will continue to play. fans cheer

(Coach SoftnFluffy appears a bit worried now seeing the Apoth leave the field to get more supplies.

Catcher Runner Mul senses the fear in his teammates eyes and starts running BACK towards his own endzone!! Nooo , you pansy, screams SoftnFluffy, "Get back up there and score!" After some more trading of blows Runner Mul continues to drift back towards his own endzone. Possibly thinking of a way out of this mess.

Finally, over mid-way through the first half, Night Priest Blitzer Guard Nurf Muheaven knocks down his opponent and races into the endzone. Runner Mul runs up and hands off to thrower Old Priest Grunder Mayun. Grunder fumbles the ball but manages to scoop it back up before it hits the ground. He moves forward to throw but can't focus with the bright sun in his eyes. Into the crowd the ball goes! Back out of the crowd it comes. Apprentice Burnt has a sore neck from watching the ball go back and forth! Coach SoftnFluffy mutters, "This one is *censored* over, good game."

Fueled by this change of events chaos dwarf Marengo promptly sends Hendrix to the BH box. The momentum has swung!!!! Night Priest bodies are flying all over the place. Hobgoblin Narob sends a thrower to the KO box and before coach Game_Avatar can shout "Stop you stupid hobnob!" Narob runs over to pick up the ball and fumbles. Duh lets try that again and it's another fumble. Eleven dwarf and centaur members go limp at once. Thrower Grunder Mayun calmly runs over to pick up the ball and passes to the blitzer still standing in the end zone. Score 1-0 Priests.

2nd half kick off, Night Priests are set to receive. Down 1-0, the chaos dwarves start early with a blitz hoping the refs won't notice. (They didn't). However, they appear very timid this half. Especially Troll Fetid Bonesplitter who seems reluctant to take on the Night Priest Ogre. This could prove very costly as the dwarves can't gain much of a nimbers advantage.

Old Priest Grunder Mayun runs up to grab the ball while catcher Runner Gyn races upfield for a possible throw. CD Hobgoblin Borz races over and KOs Runner Gyn ,,, 1 threat eliminated. Grunder Mayun tosses the ball to Guard Nurf Muheaven who, hands it back to Grunder. Grunder then starts running back to his own endzone while Runner Mul races down the South sideline.

The blocking continues as the Night Priests put on a dodging clinic in front of the stunned dwarves. Yes, it's all fun and games until someone gets hurt. And chaos dwarf Black is tired of fun and games as he Badly Hurts another Night Priest blitzer. Fluffy has that worried look again. In desparation and facing an angry centaur, Grunder Mayun runs forward and tosses a long pass to rookie lineman Servan Mujl and he has caught it!!!! Into the endzone he goes 2-0 Night Priests with less than a half to go.

With 3 players in the BH box and the Apoth AWOL, it doesn't look like the humans want any more of the chaos dwarf hospitality. Ouch.. now the Night Priest Ogre Superior Basher is out as well. This win might prove costly. Hobgoblin Borz has the ball for the dwarves and it looks like he will go the distance for an unchallenged. TD. A anticlimactic end to an exciting game.

Final Score Night Priests 2 - Clydesdale Blitzers 1.

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