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JackassRampant
Last seen 8 hours ago
Human
Legend
Human
Record
283/131/120
Win Percentage
65%
Orc
Super Star
Orc
Record
109/45/60
Win Percentage
61%
Overall
[R]
Legend
Overall
Record
733/275/315
Win Percentage
66%
Archive

2020

2020-09-15 16:46:13
rating 4.5
2020-09-11 04:42:53
rating 5.5
2020-08-17 18:43:44
rating 4.1
2020-08-17 18:37:25
rating 4.6
2020-08-17 18:08:41
rating 4.3
2020-08-17 17:54:03
rating 4
2020-02-26 04:54:58
rating 4.6
2020-02-25 17:53:07
rating 4.4
2020-02-22 18:18:59
rating 4.8
2020-02-22 17:32:27
rating 5
2020-02-19 18:01:17
rating 5.8
2020-02-18 21:21:00
rating 5.9

2019

2019-12-29 14:51:03
rating 5.2
2019-12-08 03:14:34
rating 5.9
2019-10-23 18:17:17
rating 5.3
2019-09-30 19:39:21
rating 5.7
2019-02-28 16:21:11
rating 5.8
2019-02-16 05:05:46
rating 1.8
2019-02-12 20:33:16
rating 1.7
2019-02-07 08:57:24
rating 1.3
2019-02-06 17:07:28
rating 2.6
2019-01-05 20:10:51
rating 5.6

2018

2017

2017-12-13 15:36:46
rating 5
2017-10-15 02:50:34
rating 4.3
2017-09-30 21:52:56
rating 5
2017-09-10 23:00:16
rating 4.9
2017-08-30 19:29:39
rating 6
2017-06-25 21:10:09
rating 5.4
2017-02-14 20:41:13
rating 4.6
2017-02-09 04:15:51
rating 4.3
2017-02-01 16:35:03
rating 3.5
2017-01-09 06:48:33
rating 5.8
2017-01-03 22:26:31
rating 2.8

2016

2016-10-26 16:39:39
rating 5.9
2016-10-06 01:38:35
rating 5.5
2016-07-02 01:18:38
rating 4.3
2016-06-28 18:54:58
rating 3.5
2016-01-28 08:12:39
rating 4.6
2016-01-27 18:15:53
rating 6

2015

2015-08-22 17:42:52
rating 2.4
2015-01-26 16:45:18
rating 5

2014

2014-10-01 03:51:24
rating 4.4
2014-03-14 17:58:34
rating 5
2014-03-12 19:49:16
rating 4.2
2014-02-27 02:15:42
rating 4.3

2013

2013-10-24 16:16:38
rating 4.5
2013-10-16 05:15:52
rating 4.9
2013-10-14 23:39:13
rating 4.8
2013-10-10 00:50:25
rating 4.1
2013-09-24 01:51:44
rating 4.2
2013-09-13 21:36:27
rating 4.2
2013-09-12 20:11:38
rating 5.9
2013-05-16 21:39:45
rating 2.1
2013-03-02 19:45:11
rating 3.9
2013-02-10 21:10:12
rating 4
2013-01-18 06:45:04
rating 4.2

2012

2012-10-30 21:01:49
rating 2.3
2012-10-18 17:10:07
rating 1.6
2012-08-26 17:16:17
rating 2.3
2012-01-09 00:47:16
rating 2.8

2011

2011-12-09 19:37:22
rating 3.3
2011-11-09 17:54:17
rating 4
2011-11-05 20:10:25
rating 4.8
2011-11-04 20:59:28
rating 3.9
2011-11-04 16:39:57
rating 4.6
2011-11-03 05:19:08
rating 2.2
2011-09-21 09:08:03
rating 3.2
2011-08-14 14:51:08
rating 3.8
2011-11-11 18:53:38
8 votes, rating 4.8
FC Authorities Unlikely to Act on NA[F]ET Sorcery Claims
CHRACE — There seems to be no end of bad blood between Right in da Face and Not Another
Elf Team, as NA[F]ET coach Spubbbba has filed a formal complaint to FUMBBL Cup administrators, alleging that Morkite Kultist orc squad Right in da Face are not Right in da Face after all, but an ineligible team in illusory disguise!

Last Sunday, the Face, led by coach Jackass Rampant and team captain King of Swords, beat NA[F]ET 2-1 in an epic overtime match, eliminating the highly-regarded Spubbbba in the first round of the FUMBBL Cup.

Before flouncing off in a strop after the match, NA[F]ET safety Mithril Bolts accused the opposition of using sorcery to disguise their true identities, claiming that the Face were really an ineligible team. “That was no Orc team! I struck Knight of Rods a perfect blow that no clumsy greenskin could dodge, but not only did he evade the crowd, he kept his feet!"

Coach Spubbbba did nothing to quell his players' rumblings. "Obviously our accursed druchi rivals, Dark Elf 210 Challenge, were jealous that we took their FC place," he said in a press conference on Tuesday. "They must have used foul sorcery to disguise themselves as Orcs."

Spubbbba seemed very angry in his press conference, his cheeks taking on a rosy glow as he claimed to have evidence of sorcery and demanded an investigation. "Needless to say we will take this to the highest authority, and the FC organisers will be hearing from the Phoenix king himself! I am very close friends with his personal eagle groomer’s assistant’s cousin’s neighbour you know.”

In a statement Wednesday, Face coach JackassRampant asserted that the Face indeed had played NA[F]ET on Sunday and did not use any sorcery, except a teleportation spell to get the star troll Ripper to the match, which is expressly legal under FUMBBL Cup tournament rules. "Our lads are quick," he said, "but they're certainly not elves! If Spubbbba's boys had played a little harder, he'd have known that we bleed green."

Dark Elf 210 Challenge head coach Abbbbups had choice words for Spubbbba via crystal ball from the Tower of Ultimate Blackness, beyond the Ruined Lands of western Naggaroth. "It's just like Spubbbba to play the sore loser, but no, we cannot take any credit for it."

Abbbbups said his team had lost recently to the Dark City Comrades, and were not ready for another match. "Adiah [Iceflame] has some internal injuries from the postgame celebrations, and Ikdid [Hopebreaker II] still can't walk right. That was a great postgame," he added.

FUMBBL Cup authorities did not immediately return comments, but scholars knowledgeable in the ways of the Cult of Nuffle have suggested that NA[F]ET's claims would be hard to prove, and if proven, could potentially yield sanctions against coach Spubbbba as well as Abbbbups. "It is unlikely that there will be a formal investigation," said NAF coaching attorney Thrakvar the Merciless. Thrakvar is not associated with any of the three teams involved.

Even if the accusations are real, there is no guarantee that action will be taken. "Spubbbba and Abbbbups are not supposed to enter the same tournament," said Thrakvar, "but if one of them knocked the other one out in the first round while other teams were having their bye rounds, the league will probably call that a 'no harm no foul' situation."
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