The air now has a cold bite to it as we open the gate to the Great Gobbo's cave and pick our way through the stinging nettles and brambles of which he is very proud (and rightfully so after winning a blue rosette in the Badlands Flower Show for best small garden). As we approach the front door we nearly trip over a new addition to the garden, a huge smooth stone which has been painted brown with paint (we hope) and has the word 'KONKER' scrawled on it.

Before we can examine this intriguing new addition further the front door to the cave slams open and a huge brown spider comes scuttling out at a tremendous speed, closely followed by an angry small green thing waving a rolled up copy of the Grotty Little Newspaper above it's head.

"I doan't kare if it iz der time o year yew kum inside ter find a mate, keep owt or i'll twat yer wiv me konker, unnerstand?!"

"Hello Great Gobbo"

"Oh, ello. Bin a while ent it? Av yew even met Blinky yet?"

"Err, no I don't believe we have been introduced"

Suddenly two goblins bouncing on squigs come hopping over the garden fence and through the nettles, being chased by the biggest squig we have ever seen in our lives which goes through the fence and tramples most of the nettles in it's path.

"OI YEW BLUDDY KIDZ" yells the Great Gobbo, "GET OFF ME ZOGGIN LAWN!"

"Who were they?" we enquire.

"Some ladz frum me new teem, kum in an i'll tell yer bowt it."

Once settled in front of the fire the Great Gobbo proceeds to tell us of the amazing summer he has had due to Coach Garion wining a lawsuit which allowed a whole new bunch of races to play Blood Bowl, including Forest Goblins and Night Goblins.

"But now I az a problem" says the Great Gobbo, "Der biggest komp in der world iz kummin up soon, der Fumbbl Kup an I ent ad time ter get much practise in wiv der Tide koz of deze new ladz, I iz a bit worried."

"Worried about what?"

"Well last year we won a game in der Kup an buggered up dat git Painstatez bettin skam, so I woz opin ter win it diz time by spendin der summa getting der ladz inter shape but I az bin tew busy wiv dese new ladz an now itz nearly ere!"

Something horrible drips onto our arma t that moment. Looking up at the ceiling we see another enormous spider looking down on us. It seems to be batting it's eight eyelashes.

"Oh bugga, yew ad betta go" says the Great Gobbo, "dese spiderz iz getting orny an tryin ter find matez, an I fink she az er eye on yew."

We slowly edge our way to the door before legging it down the path.

What will happen to the Tide in the Fumbbl Cup? Will Blinky find a mate? Do conkers work at keeping spiders out of your house? I don't know and I don't care after nearly being raped by a six foot arachnid.