San Luis Marca
? Bah! What a bullshit. In order to mock them properly, lets put together a different list. Lets pair teams with players that are typical for them. As in any joke, do not expect only high profile players with lofty draft status! Just enjoy the giggle.
Altdorf Thunderbolts - They need both Lineman and Thrower. Solution? A lineman with pass. Benardrick McKinney, lineman, Block/Tackle/Pass/Kick.
Averheim River Bandits - What are the Bandits going after? Gold. Eddie Goldman, ogre, BreakTackle/Juggernaut/Grab.
Barboza Bruisers - A team that is famous for obscene 1turning. This one is easy. Phillip Dorsett, catcher, +MVM/+MVM/SideStep/Sprint.
Bilbali Rangers - A team that hits and fouls hard! As any proper mocker would do, lets figure out who is the biggest psychopath in this draft. Ah, got it! Brandon Scherff, Ogre, +STR/+MVM/Block/PillingOn. Of course, the Rangers are precise and calculated like a surgeon with a scalpel, but can they resist taking this goon?
Brionne Buccaneers - There is only one guy in the draft that makes the Bucs fans remember a once great former bucs who died on the pitch. Devin Funchess, blitzer, +AG/Dodge/Catch.
Broekwater Patriots - Their team motto says linemen win championship. Try win with this one: Paul Dawson, lineman, Fend/Pro.
Carroburg Crimson Cascade - CCC as we call them introduced the gender equality. They run their team regularly with female players. So....Renate Rappeneau, lineman, +AG/Block/Tackle/KickOffReturn
Emsk Red Cardinals - The (dirty) birds pity piling on and does not use it. They rely on agile catchers, throwers and blitzers to do the job. The missing link is so obvious. Jake Fisher, lineman, +AG/Block/Guard.
Erengrad Vikings - Vikings must have a torture and suffer clause in their players contract, as they keep working with players in pain and perm. Which leads us to...Jimmy Vicaut, catcher, Block/DivingTackle/Tackle/SideStep/-MVM.
Flashfurt Universe - Coach badpublicity took over Legion, then sold everyone, and replenished the roster with naked +AG developmental ones. He took over Universe recently, and sold out everyone. Is there any doubt what is going on? Come on, badp, resistance is futile! We know you take Laurence Gibson, lineman, +AG.
Great Ogham Griffins - Frankyl i have no idea here, so i just randomly selected a handsome man. Karlos Williams, blitzer, +MVM/Dodge/MightyBlow.
Grenzburg Greenskins - Their only policy so far is to take anyone, but only with +STAT. Try Blake Bell, catcher, +STR/Sidestep/Pass.
Hargendorf Unicorns - Must be a dirty player! Xzavier Dickson, lineman, DirtyPlayer/SneakyGit.
Irrana Avalanche - They lost so much cogs while protecting their amazing dash unit, so any help is welcome! Clayton Geathers, blitzer, Dodge/Guard.
Kemperbad Knights - Knights must take a SIR, so Sir Gaston Mouffe, blitzer, MightyBlow/Guard/Dodge/SideStep.
Kislev White Wolfs - They need a +STR/block ogre. They have traded for an ogre with +STR and without block. So they select Deon Simon, ogre, +STR. Do not tell me they cant roster both as it is illegal. If the Marca is never wrong, then i can insist they sort out in training camp and go with the one that WILL roll double!
Los Cabos Marauders - Coach Chimp must love this name. Mortimer Chesnais, blitzer, MightyBlow/Guard/StandFirm/Grab.
Marienburg Foxes - Their team motto says, what the lion cannot do, the fox can. Who is the subtle cunning player of the draft? Stephone Anthony, lineman, +MVM/Wrestle/SideStep/JumpUp.
Middenheim Classics - They love causing pain. Their need is lineman and blitzer. So lets combine. Shane Ray, lineman, +MVM/Block/MightyBlow. They could clearly use an extra blitzer with mightyblow, right?
Monte Castello Wreckers - We want to hear Moore about Wreckers players, right? The leaping lineman that Oly mentions every day he is asked about his players? (And sometimes even when he is not asked about them.) Trey Flowers, lineman, Block/Leap/Tackle/SideStep.
Muckenhof Manticores - Ali Marpet, lineman, Block/Guard/PillingOn. Cause they love linos, had block/guard with many different rider skills, but this combo is a new one!
Norden Legion - They are built on agility, but selling their ballhandler. So why not overspend on the ballhandler? Brett Hundley, thrower, +AG/+MVM/Dodge.
Nuln Gunners - Shaq Thompson, blitzer, Guard/Tackle/Dodge/Sidestep. Natural fit, as Gunners built their team with blitzers guard/dodge.
Praag Grizzlies - Their coach offer whiskey, and cigar for any negotiation. Jim Bean, blitzer, +AG/MightyBlow/Tackle.
Remas Eagles - Coach Arcayn lobbied hard to get back their old team. (Long story.) He can now prove that he brethe and bleed Green. Chaz Green, lineman, Guard/JumpUp.
Rotenbach Razorbacks - There is only one prospect that can elevate the prominent foul attack of the dirty hogs. Frank Clark, lineman, +AG/DirtyPlayer.
San Luis 49ers - The warpstone (doping) center of DLE, valuing increased stat lines over capability. Gabe Wright, lineman, +STR/+AV.
Skar Bay Sharks - Sharks do not work as a team. They desperately need some harmony. Rob Havenstein, ogre, Block/Leader. A 'true' leader who just rarely ever gets deconcentrated.
Talabheim Sluggers - Landon Collins, catcher, Dodge/Tackle/DivingTackle/PassBlock, cause coach datom loves long skill list!
Templehof Thunder - Andrew Luck (playing for Thunder) always need new weapons, right? Tyler Lockett, catcher, +AG/KickOfReturn/SureFeet.
Wolfenburg Wolfskins - Coach Laskas loves to develop statfreaks. Bryce Petty, thrower, +AG.
Wolfsbach Scimitars - They have a lot of linemen, lot of block, lot of guard, and a lot of tackle. Diversity is overrated. So...Cameron Erving, lineman, Block/Guard/Tackle
I hope you all enjoyed. And as with the 'infallible' Marca, do NOT take this too seriously!