“Florida vs. Navy Postgame report:

It was a highly anticipated game...Navy struggled last year after the death of their highly acclaimed thro-ra; however, experts looked to a strong off season workout regime that would have Navy doing well this season. The season opener against Florida was not what Navy had in mind. Florida attempt to sneak around the rules is well known and so it was no surprise that rumors swirl that Gertu Thorpe was taking steriods before the game - it certainly explained his amazing performance on the field today. In addition, after the first touchdown, the refs spotted a chainsaw among the Florida players - it was quickly banned as well.

The amazing agility of Thorpe (+AG from illegal drugs) allowed him to make amazing dodges and scored on the opening possession on a sweep left play. Up 1-0, the rest of the first half was mostly uneventul - although team captain Tim Tebow - well extremely strong and a solid player is a complete troll and stumbled on a block (double skulls) and knocked himself out for the rest of the game. The half ended 1-0.

In the second half, Navy took possession of the ball after a bad kick...however Brandon Frazier literally tossed Gertu Thorpe downfield and a few dodges to give an assist and the ball was loose - after an initial failed pickup, on the following turn, Thorpe grabbed the ball and was off for the TD to seal the game. After that point - Navy ignored the ball and bashed and began to foul the Florida player - cursing wildly and screaming for more blood...the last play being a vicious kick for a critical injury on Brandon Frazier (troll).

Postgame comments from Gertu Thorpe of the Florida Gators, "There is no truth to any sort of drugs or other illegal activities by any person here at Florida - we run a completely clean program. You all saw on the field, those two vicious kicks late in the game from Navy that resulted in our players being carried off the field. I think people should stop accusing us and start looking at the facts!" Gertu than stormed off drinking a wierd looking drink...”