“Da Scouses started der first game well. Da grotty elfses start'd receivin' ahr kick, but ahr dozey kicka miss'd the kick and patted it into ahr awn side.
Elfses start'd making chokka blockses, but as soon they failed a dodge we saw ahr chansa. Jerry made a nice run to the ball carrier smacking him to the floor, helping the fellas to secure the ball.

Gears!

We managed to score the first down. The fellas were made up. Nutta kick off, nutta bad kick... Nix better than this. Afta changing our ropy kicka, we start'd da second 'alf. One of da queenies was still sleepin', so we managed to pin em dewn with our numerical avantaige. Nutta 'down, time for some heavy Kirby kisses and 'ard dep'ense. We trad to send sum of em to the ditch, but a kick in the goolies just dint graft.

Game ended, fans increase, but not enuff for buying a woolyback medic for the fellas.

Lesgo to a chippy ta eat sumt'in'.

Good game Lars.”