“Early progress was hampered for the Allstars (who despite their dreadful record had high hopes due to an improvement in form of late) by the unaccountable slipperiness of their opponents Wardancers who eluded the teams most skilled blockers. Disappointed by the typical ease with which the woodies scored, the jewels in Britains comedic crown decided to grind out the half, deplete their opponents numbers as much as possible and score in turn 8. All of which would have been fine except they failed to score.

Irritated beyond measure they came out for the second half with steam emerging from their ears. Scoring quickly and without any real difficulty morale was raised. An inordinate effort was put into actually bringing down a Wardancer which was finally achieved some way into the second half. Pleased with this, some of the players decided to continue during their next drive and thanks to the tireless efforts of one Shakin' Stevens they finally fouled one into the bin and niggled him to boot. Not satisfied Sid James the team's toughest blitzer decided to get in on the act and managed to achieve a BH by slightly fairer means.

Their success going to their heads they decided to go for the win and ran in a score instead of stalling which when playing even 7 woodies with 3 turns to go was a tad ambitious. Sure enough a simple cage and run in put paid to the Palladium Allstars game and it was yet another loss for these increasingly violent, plucky losers.

The moral of the story? Dont let your opponents WD's distract you. Not losing is more important than hurting the Wardancers. At least thats what the coach was trying to drum into the players who unfortunately seemed distracted by the ecstatic cheers from the crowd and the large chest of gold that had been carried into the changing room.”