“The first round of the the NBFL playoffs, pits the Chicago Bares against the Arizona Cardinalz here at Slither Field.

There was a pregame argument between Brian Urlacher and Mike Singletary, leading to Urlacher refusing to take the field on the opening kickoff (I'm the Greatest handicap). A flu was also going around prior to the match, but none of the Bares called in sick (Virus handicap).

The Bares win the coin toss and elect to receive the kick. Short one of their best players for the opening drive, the Bares go to business as usual... controlling the line of scrimmage with their size strength and teamwork. With the skinks following close behind, waiting for the moment to explode thru the hole and take it to the house. The Bare players appear uninspired initially, until Sexy Rexy Grossman runs up and performs the "flying impaler" on a downed Edgerrin James (foul)... he was killed instantly and the paraclerics were helpless to do anything but pronounce him dead (failed apo roll). From that moment on, this playoff game was one of the bloodiest that many of us have ever witnessed. Another Cardinal player leaves the field of play due to a self-inflicted injury... he attempted to take down the dinosaur-like George Halas, that was the self-inflicted part.

The Cardinalz strike back though, sending Mike Singletary off the pitch on a stretcher. Who was followed almost immediately by Willie Gault. The Bares claw their way down the field, only to have their drive ended by a fireball from the sky (Wizard). The half ends with a scoreless game and the Bares at a slight numbers disadvantage.

The second half is much like the first one, lots of blood, very little in the way of ball movement. As time runs out in the match, a Cardinal player attempting to get away from a Bare pass rusher, falls down and coughs up the rock into a very bad situation. If not for a great tackle by Kurt Warner, the Bares would have easily scored a defensive TD off of the fumble recovery and won the game. Needless to say, the game ends at 0-0 and is headed to over time... with things looking slightly worse for the Cardinalz.

The Cardinalz win the toss in OT and get to receive the kickoff. Their drive stumbles out of the gate, but eventually they free up Larry Fitzgerald for a quick TD strike. Now their hopes fall on stopping the Bares.

The Bares come out swinging on their drive, sending another Cardinal player to the graveyard. The stout defense of the Cardinalz, fails right as time expires and allows the Bares to score the tying TD. Battered and beaten, both teams lay gasping for sweet-sweet air, as the two coaches face off for the game deciding coin flip. The Bares win the toss and advance...

This is an excerpt from the post game press conference...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYKIcnj1MJY”