“[Bob]
Welcome to ESPN Cabalvision: the Beautiful Game! I'm Bob the Builder and this is Jimbo Thorpe, here to bring you the football news for the weekend, seven days a week!

[Jimbo]
That's exactly right Bob, and we're back on the news and covering Wales again for the first time in a very long time!

[Bob]
You know Jimbo, I seem to have forgotten - why is it that we haven't reported on this team for so long? Feels like ages!

[Jimbo]
There's a very good reason for that, I'm glad you ask. The honest truth of the matter is that this team is boring.

[Bob]
Boring? Are you out of your mind Jimbo? Wales is on a crash course right to the top! Few teams can claim to have risen as fast as this team.

[Jimbo]
That may be true Bob, although I think Shuddersfield Frown and the Watford Khornets, just to name two, have achieved similar feats. But be that as it may, it's still a boring team. Look at it, barely any doubles or stats, and they win enough to be promoted but not enough to be legends, or even impressive. Frankly, I haven't missed the coverage at all.

[Bob]
...Hmmm I can't say that I have, either. I guess you're right.

[Jimbo]
But all that's behind us now, because now that this team is losing horribly, we're back in action! And what a butt-kicking we have to report to you today!

[Bob]
That's right, it was a real whopper of a game. I was so gleeful I almost didn't make it to the toilet at halftime!

[Jimbo]
Bob, we don't discuss our bowel movement problems on the air.

[Bob]
*coughs*

[Jimbo]
... right. Anyway, what a game, the fans went wild. Sartosa is an old team - and by old, I mean really, really old, like these guys should probably be an undead team by now - and they've seen their share of scrums.

[Bob]
Yes that's exactly right Jimbo and what you sometimes see with newer teams like Wales is that they play well, sure, but they don't have that veteran's cool under pressure from a more experienced opponent, and what you see is, is sometimes they crumble out there against hardened veterans.

[Jimbo]
If I've seen it once I've seen it a thousand times, and that's exactly what happened here, you hit it right on the head Bob. Wales is a good solid team but they really just don't have the scars of years of playing and those experiences drilled into their heads and it really showed today.

[Bob]
I almost fell out of my chair when Kili ripped three toes off of Sam Ricketts. Coach Oryx screamed so loud, I thought he'd have a heart attack right there on the field. I was even more surprised the ref didn't kick him out of the game.

[Jimbo]
We all know Kili's well known for being an uncultured savage, been one for three seasons now, but Ricketts really wasn't prepared for it and you could really see that today.

[Bob]
What I DID find surprising was the new kid on the block, Kwadwo, putting on such a vicious display.

[Jimbo]
I wasn't surprised at all Bob, I've had my eye on that one. He's learning from Kili and learning well.

[Bob]
It's rare that you see Price go down, and even rarer to see him taken out of the game so early, even against such an experienced team. They say his tail was reattached and he'll regain full use of it, but he won't be playing for a few weeks.

[Jimbo]
Well as you can expect after this kind of savagery Coach Oryx argued for five minutes with the refs trying to get the irate duo kicked out for using secret weapons, and the game was pretty much a wash after that.

[Bob]
Yeah, he just kind of gave up after the first 15 minutes, with three tacklers and a forward out of the game already.

[Jimbo]
Yup that's right, the lizards spent most of the first half on their backs, hoping the clock would move a bit faster. I've seen a lot of things Bob, but it's pretty rare to see cowardice on this level.

[Bob]
Sometimes there's no accounting for taste, Jimbo.

[Jimbo]
Well it wasn't much of a game after that, Sartosa cleaned up first half, and despite a valiant and speedy TD followed by a last ditch, one in a million attempt to steal the ball, Wales was beaten before the first quarter was over.

[Bob]
Well folks, that's all the ridicule we have time for today.

[Jimbo]
But never fear, we'll be back next week.

[Both]
Don't miss our next episode as we talk about Coach Oryx's mother! This is Bob the Builder and Jimbo Thorpe, signing off. Good night and remember, keep on watching... The Beautiful Game!
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