“MAHtt STOmmes Death via the crowd was a direct result of their lack of understanding of MAHtt's affliction...

See, the STOmmes family has a history of a rare thyroid condition that makes the sweat glands emit an odor not unlike rancid meat. The condition is intensified during battle and in situations that require more thought than is needed to, say, put something in one's mouth. MAHtt would have been on the road to study this, had his scholarship not been dependent on him keeping at least a 0.5 GPA...

The shame of the result of MAHtt's last foray on the NCBB pitch for the Golblen Gogres is that while he stood there, dumber than a tuna can, and while he smelled of rancid meat (obviously tempting the orc fans in attendance) the actual taste of MAHtt was more akin to Taco-Bell-Volcano-Burrito diarrhea.

So not only did the Gogres lose a compadre, the orcs were still hungry after puking up said STOmmes. If BYU's fans would've stuck around, we would've gladly fed them Ra'Shede Hageman...”