“Hey there, sportsfans! This is Your host, Bob Bobson, bringing you another thrilling roundup from the world of NAF! This week, we'll be coming to you from the outskirts of Nuln, from the stadium of the Nuln Anvils, as part of our "Rookie Team of the Week" series. As you know, the Anvils are just the latest team to try and make it in the big leagues, so I'm sure you're all jumping to hear what happened in their last match-up, against Who's Got The Cheese.
I'm going to hand over now to our chief correspondent Rich "The Breaker" Thomson, who'll take you through the game.

Why, thanks, Bob! It's a pleasure to be here, commentating on the grass-roots of our beloved game. And there's the kick off - off they go, really going for each other! Look: the rising star Johannes Vilkennson - the guy who reckons you could kick the ball - he's going off hurt, it seems - looks like someone broke his hand... Ouch!. No, wait, the doc is there on the sidelines, and he seems pretty peeved. Looks like he's just telling him to play on, and stop being such a baby. Wow - he's even leaving the ground, and he's not coming back. Looks like the Anvils are gonna have to do without their team's doctor for the rest of the match. Man, I hope that doesn't come back to bite them.
In the mean time, the game is under way - one of the little ratty things (are they cute?) is out and off on a stretcher, but they've got the ball, and they're making a real play of it. They're breaking through the middle, and they're away! They're heading for the end zone! Look, the guy's so confident that he's just sitting there, taunting the Anvils! Well, I kinda guess that's what he's doing, cause I can't think of anything else that the hand gesture means!
And now ... Oh god - the rats have gotten hold of Warren von Gurten, the Anvils number 9! Oh God, look at what they're doing to him! Oh, man, that's just sick! They've got his ... and his ... and oh man, that's going everywhere! Quick get a camera on that for the folks at home! Oh... that's just gross! And that's one lineman who won't be getting up for a while.

(Break.)

Hey there, sportsfans. In the interest of keeping our current PG-13 rating, we're gonn have to pull away from this match for a moment or two. It's all getting a little crazy out there, but if you have the "All Areas Access" pass on your Cabal remote, you'll be able to see all the gory details. If not, then just take it from us - the action was heavy and hardcore. In the end the Cheesemongers won a tight victory, and left two of the Anvils' players permanently buried on their home turf. In the meanwhile - this is Bob Bobson for Cabal-1, wiching you good luck in your blitzes, and good night!

...

Man, that was a brutal game. Took a lot of heavy hits, and I wish I'd let the apothecary leave the first niggle to take effect, rather than lose two players, but hey - sometimes Nuffle just hates you. Other than that, it was a damned fine game between two well-matched teams; I'll look forward to next time!”