“Grotty Little Tournament 2014 - Old Teams Qualifier I: Round One

"By exposing me, you would sacrifice the peace so many died for here today." -Ozymandias

Muddy Men and Watchmen Philosophy took to the field of battle with perfunctory greetings and well wishes, then promptly set about trying to tear each other limb from limb. Muddy Men had brought Helmut Wulf and Slibli to the pitch to bolster their numbers.

On the very first turn Muddy Men went after Nite Owl, knocking him to the pitch and laying into him with a boot that knocked him out - but also saw Hiyii Hinkii get thrown from the game by the referee.

It looked as thought Muddy Men were going to have an easy path up the left side of the pitch, as Watchmen Philosophy overcommitted themselves in the backfield. Turn five for the Muddy Men would prove Nuffle had his hand in things still, as Nergiz Nilliz tumbled to the pitch attempting to go for it and coughed up the ball in the process.

Dollar Bill and Hooded Justice swarmed the ball and left it in their tackle zones as their teammates continued to wreak havoc on the opposing sauri. By some small miracle, the intrepid skink Bezin Buuzz broke free from The Comedian's tentacles and got into the mix near the ball.

With a loose scrum formed around the ball, Mothman finally managed to remove Helmut Wulf from the game with a blitz in turn seven. Hollis Mason lay in wait as the potential receiver for the go-ahead touchdown. Dollar Bill heaved a long pass to him, but it fell wide to the left of Hollis Mason.

As turn eight approached, Watchmen Philosophy had to decide between potentially scoring a touchdown to put them ahead or doing additional damage with the knowledge they would be receiving in the second half. With three players in the casualty box and three players KO'ed, they opted for more damage to ensure an easier path to a touchdown. They were not disappointed, as the kroxigor Otriz Obrezi was taken out by Mothman on the final blitz of the half.

The ensuing kickoff to start the second half saw only seven members of Muddy Men left in fighting shape, and three of their skinks bravely took the line of scrimmage. The heroes of Watchmen Philosophy obliged, rattling off three consecutive casualties against the skinks, leaving only the four deep defenders on the field for Muddy Men.

From that point, it was a slow advance on the endzone as the Muddy Men sought to flee the onslaught. Dr. Manhattan scored early in the hopes that more touchdowns might be added to his total in the few turns remaining.

Watchmen Philosophy 1, Muddy Men 0.

In the end, however, it was not to be. The score stood at 1-0 as the final whistled sounded the end of the match. Watchmen Philosophy moves on to round two, though equally deadly chaos await them there.

Final score: Watchmen Philosophy 1, Muddy Men 0.

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