“Well, that certainly wasn't the match I was expecting. It started off as usual when I receive, with a double long pass for a quick score, but from there it went off in a completely surreal and very one-sided direction indeed.

It wasn't just that Dacrav had no luck, he had negative luck. Every time he took a turn, something else went horribly wrong for him, whether it was the constant failure of his assassins to stab anything, the constant failure to pick up the ball, the constant failure to break the wood elves' armour... the list goes on.

And meanwhile, I was having the time of my life. The dark elves fumble the ball... oh look, all my catchers and wardancers are in range of it. Time for a kick-off... oh look it's another blitz (I had two in the game).

There was a point where Dacrav began a comeback, scoring just before the half and facing only seven wood elves at the restart, but in order to have capitalised on the opportunity he would have needed to be able to do something, anything, without constantly failing dice rolls - the triple skull block without a reroll possibly being the low point, although there were several other contenders.

Meanwhile I just kept on scoring, and with nothing better to do than try for some measure of revenge, Dacrav went for the tree, managing to knock him over but failing to injure, or foul him, off the pitch.

So it was a win for the woodies - which is always nice and somewhat rare these days - but a game of limited passing thanks to the fact that I only received the one kick-off and my thrower spent ten turns in the KO box. And the injuries mean I'm back up to three journeymen for the next game, but still with a rating over 2000K, so that might be a bit tricky.

We'll see.”