“I've been on a goblin streak for the last week so I'd forgotten how to play when I don't have secret weapons, or 5 rerolls. Or that's my excuse.

Playing on a magical cursed pitch which punished almost every GFI (puss smashed his knee running too far during a blitz) meant the superior weight of numbers of the Club was going to wear the opposition down. We had a pretty tragic first half, The Professor asleep at the wheel for most of that half, and failing to move the ball up the field.

But (and I'm not quite sure how) we wrested the ball off them part way through the second half, and with judicious use of fouls and The Professor's claw, Hold The Phone were down to 5 players and we ruthlessly exploited that to get Charisma Bypass scuttled away in the top corner of the pitch for a T16 score. Could have walked the ball in a turn early but who knows who would have woken up and smashed our faces in? No, too many games with riots and elves for us to do anything but play it safe.

First win for the Club (I thought it was also our first score, but we've managed 2 touchdowns in the previous 6 games. Skreech is back next game for more claw-filled madness. Nuffle was with us for this one - when all an ogre can do with 3 dice is gently shove a goblin around the pitch, you know you're lucky. Off to buy some lottery tickets now to make the most of it.”