“What a dreadful beating... First time to try playing on a train, and clearly I'll blame the team's injuries on that, rather than coaching errors.

Started off well with some good hits from the fanatic and chainsaw, but we couldn't convert those into injuries, just KOs, and when our secret weapons were all banned or injured after the first touchdown, it just got worse and worse, until we only had Counterfeit Royalty to put on the field. A single goblin alone doesn't stand much chance, and he got fouled badly enough to be limping for the rest of his career. Queen Boobydoob took a smashed knee, regenerated and came back out just long enough to get her leg fractured, so we'll miss her for the next game. First time somebody has comprehensively cleared the pitch for a while (and the first time we had nobody left to field after the touchdown).

Onwards, ever upwards!”