“This was a fast game - which was a good thing, as it made the spectacle of my stunning incompetence thankfully brief. Looking at the dice stats it doesn't seem too bad, but while I was playing - especially in the first half - it seemed as if I couldn't do anything right.

My first drive nearly came to a disastrously early end because I forgot the slann blitzers have jump up (it's been a while since I've played slann, okay) and I left my lone thrower in range of a blitz. Luckily for me, it only resulted in a push back, and even luckier for me was the fact that the subsequent throw (from, I think, 2 TZs) was successful, allowing me to run in the first score.

But Astrolonim was clearly on a mission to score and score and score and he replied with an elegant and speedy equaliser.

My following drive was horrible. First I rolled 1,1 on a dodge with my wardancer and managed to injure him in the process, then I rolled a second 1,1 on the deep pass. And if that wasn't bad enough, the fumbled ball bounced out of bounds and was thrown back in right across the far side, conveniently close to no wood elves whatsoever, but handy enough for the slann catcher who seemed to be waiting for exactly this chain of events.

One badly hurt wood elf later, the slann scored their second.

By this point I was ready to call it a day - not concede, you understand, just stop believing I could win - so when I double skulled a block with a loner, I didn't even bother to attempt the reroll, even though I still had five. I don't remember why the slann weren't able to score again at this point, but they couldn't. But then neither could I.

The second half was better for me - as is often the case - and if only I hadn't been two players down I might have been able to do more than just run long and try and keep pace with Astrolonim as he scored every couple of turns. I suspect that once he had a two-score lead, he kind of took his foot off the gas a little - otherwise I'm not sure how I could have scored twice more myself.

There was one exciting bit, where I leapt into a cage, blitzed the ball-carrier down and was able to get to the scattered ball with my thrower. There was even a free catcher waiting for the 2+ pass, and there was a strong possibility he could have taken it all the way. So of course the pass was intercepted. Well, that's slann for you, I suppose.

At two scores down, I thought I may as well go for a final-turn score, because why not? But being somewhat dense, I set up completely wrong and messed the whole thing up long before I came anywhere near the wall of diving tackle waiting for me outside the end zone.

So 3-5 it was, and I left feeling that was a lot more than I deserved. The passing stats were fairly impressive (especially considering the failed long bomb and the interception) but Spiderplant Spiderplant was something of a disappointment, flexing his new ST7 muscles an impressive 14 times and having not a single thing to show for it - not even a KO.

So the losing streak continues. More fans abandoned me, and a costly mistake relieved me of half my winnings. Most definitely not my finest hour.

An easy, but nonetheless worthy win for Astrolonim, and I thank him for a fast and high-scoring game - exactly the sort I like.”