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KO! Magazine - "Great Gobbo, congratulations on reaching the milestone of 100 games coached for the Green Tide. How do you feel?"
The Great Gobbo - "Wiv me andz! Only jokin, nah I iz nakkered mush. Nakkered an proud."
KO! - "Proud? Why are you proud? Your record is P100, W1, D3, L96!"
GG - "Yeh but az yer ad a look ad der reelly important rekordz?"
KO! - *sighs* "Which are.........?"
GG - "Der Gobbo All Time Rekord An Kolorin Book, ere av a butchaz"

The Great Gobbo hands over, almost reverently, a yellowed and dog eared copy of 'My First Colouring Book'. Inside, apart from some badly coloured in pictures with rude bits drawn on in crayon, are lists with hundreds of names with the previous entry neatly (relatively) crossed out and the new entry on top.

GG - "See, in only 100 gamez we az got all deese rekordz!"
KO! - "Let's have a look....."

Top Starz - Aktive #18 Greeda Stinkbreath 76 SPP
Top Skorerz - Aktive #21 Greeda Stinkbreath 13 TD's
Top Passerz - Aktive #2 Evil Kneeful 34 Kompletschunz
#8 Grim Toejam 10 Kompletschunz
- All Time #2 Evil Kneeful 34 Kompletschunz
#6 Yeruk Blacknail 23 Kompletschunz
#11 Slimy Swetboy 10 Kompletschunz
#13 Grim Toejam 10 Kompletschunz
Most MVP's - Aktive #6 Grim Toejam 7 MVP Awardz
- All Time #15 Grim Toejam 7 MVP Awardz
#23 Yeruk Blacknail 6 MVP Awardz
Oldest Playerz - Aktive #8 Greeda Stinkbreath 71 Gamez
- All Time #18 Greeda Stinkbreath 71 Gamez
Most Passin Yardz - Aktive #2 Evil Kneeful 88 Pacez
#23 Greeda Stinkbreath 12 Pacez
- All Time #2 Evil Kneeful 88 Pacez
#7 Yeruk Blacknail 53 Pacez

KO! - "That is quite impressive actually"
GG - "An we az also inspired sum nuttaz ter kreate teemz such as der Catwaspz, Rabbithornetz an Pride o der Green Tide which wud be flatterin if dey ad paid me summat fer der idea!"
KO! - "And I see you have started a blog of remembrance for all of the players who have died on the pitch"
GG - "Not just on der pitch, if yer died whilst employed by der Green Tide at der time. Legal made me say dat koz o Dr Eadcase..."
KO! - "And I believe it was 46 dead at the last count?"
GG - "Summat like dat. Timez like diz I wishes I wuz coachin sum skellys az I wud av saved a fortune!"
KO! - "So what is in the future for the Green Tide and yourself?"
GG - "Well Nige az bin studyin an trainin er teem reelly ard an I fink she iz nearly reddy ter play sum gamez. An I az formed anuvva teem kalled Deff Frum Above ter see wot I kan do wiv trollz an wepunz, but me main focus will be Der Tide az I az sum reelly gud playerz now an I fink we will win loadz moar gamez den wun in our next undred".
KO! - "Thanks as always Great Gobbo, and good luck for the Tide's next 100 games".

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