“Meanwhile in Soviet Poland.... WAI!>? LAMMER DICESZ! PFFFTTT All wrong, vodkda-turnip wise pfft cities in russian mafia setup job. RNG is LAMMER!"

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“Meanwhile in Soviet Poland.... LAMMER dicesz! All lammer client admin pffft riggzed potato LAMMEWR! LAMMER!”

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“Meanwhile in Soviet Poland.... Out LAMMERed but mixmax boffo. But killed a ClawPomber, so all is good! Lammer Time! Can't touch him! Hot sausage! No no, Lammer Time!”

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“Meanwhile in Soviet Poland, cows were being tipped.”

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“Meanwhile in Soviet Poland.... just another rude, completely mute coach with no sense of humour. In soviet Poland satire is a conSpirocy."

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“Meanwhile in Soviet Poland .... all dice are Lammer and goats are capitalist pigdoggies with bad smells.”

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“Meanwhile in Soviet Poland.... Lammer dice say lizards win and not all be made into boots."

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“Meanwhile in Soviet Poland ... a Fun game.

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But would be nice if people watched to see if the scheduler gave them a game, and therefore avoided turning up 15 minutes after the draw... gg Wreckage."

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“Meanwhile in Soviet Poland ... old friend come to visit and kick man-cow in round sensitive parts!"

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“Meanwhile in Soviet Poland ... girlie-man elfies come and roll no 1s and score only with permission of STATE-PARTY to allow them to dream capitalist dream ultimately weakening and deluding CORRUPT capitalist west for ultimate timely doom."

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“Meanwhile in Soviet Poland - - another mute coach who would not even engage in the traditional pleasantries of "gratz", "thx", or "gg". Why do some people even bother to play on Fummbl? Surely they would be better off playing vs an AI rather than another human being..."

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“Meanwhile in Soviet Poland... small beard men with axes come to kill trees! Much unhappy in soviet polands - where we loves our forest like big Ent-mens in movies - so we KAPOW SMACK HOOOOMMMM them like TreeBeeard CGI man!"

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“Meanwhile in Soviet Poland.... big mutant cow rampage through cabbage fields beating up migrant workers! Very bad! Cabbage shortages will follow!"

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“Meanwhile in Soviet Poland ... Spanish mens come and try to take out new migrant workers, but glorious POLAND SOVIET PLAN too clever for them and we kick their balls.”

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“Meanwhile in Soviet Poland ... more Spanish mens come for our womens, but we push them off! Migrant Worker Abdulla has happy BOOT TO FACE time, and will be fed tonight! Happy times!"

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“Meanwhile in Soviet Poland ... a multi-day game in most strange circumstances vs lizards with no rulebook! And they crippled poor Migrant worker Bill! But that ok - we deport him and hire new fresh off boat worker! All hail Soviet Polands!"

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“Meanwhile in Soviet Polands.... Band of Bloodie Brothers come Cow hunting! Oh noes bad news for Soviet Live-stokcies. They get Cow Lammer (PWOSSS!!!) and breaks him! It ok, we buy a new cow. But we sad and PARTY have much cryings and lamentations and wimmin wearing black all week. gg sir from Party Committeee for meeting new and strange peoples from overseas."

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“Meanwhile in Soviet Poland ... Elfs come and steal polish womens in game like made of FEMALE RHINO POOs. Back to chalk-face board PFFTT."

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“Meanwhile in Soviet Poland.... MY LITTLE PONIES!"

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“FC X rd 2. Elfies come make big troubles, but Migrant worker Vernon say NO!"

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“Meanwhile in Soviet Poland.... Squid-mens come to visit in FC X rounds 3. Much fun and happiness for soviet cows and big hatty men. Bloods and things and fun had by all. Many thanks for noble squiddy men opposing coach, although they did kill and maim 2 of lammer hats who got sacked and replaced for epic game rd 4 vs boney mens."

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"FC X rd 3: Evil western boney-mens come and CHEAT to win after getting first game (which we were WINNING with epic kickoff) called off after cheating with 12 mens on pitch. much unhappy. Then LAMMER RNG EPIC WESTENS ConSpirocy to beat GLORIOUS Soviets Polands mens team of many wins. But WE glorious communisto Poland maimed evil mummy-trasngender mans with IRON FIST OF WORKERS to faces. But in happy news, Mino Cow was BBQ-ed after game for much happy HOT sausages!!!"

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“Meanwhile in Soviet Poland ... Bad delf mens come to steal things from glorious polands, but we say NO! And bash them back to elf lands!"

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“Meanwhile in Soviet Poland ...... um, opposing mens leave field before game is over... :("

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“Meanwhile in Soviet Polands..... Boney mens bring four lovely MILFs (Mummys I Love to Foul) to drinks Party, and all fair and square in loves and wars."

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“Meanwhile in Soviet Poland .... Silent mens came and started the bash, so we got some more bash out of Soviet Warehouse and made happy bash party!"

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“Meanwhile in Soviet Poland ... More deady mens come to PARtay, and we dance til they fall to bitty bits!"

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“Meanwhile in Soviet Poland..... More bones come, but we SWEEP them from PITCH in glorious soviet offensive like in 1944!"

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“Meanwhile in Soviet Poland.... Nice chatty man come and make happy talk while dorfs go SPLOT! Lots of mutual SPLOTTING for making happy international friendy time. gg sir!”

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“Meanwhile in Soviet Poland.... Green lizard mens come to prove once again that PO is BROKEN skill and should be banned by COMMUNIST party for good of workers."

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“Fun and bloody game, but I do wish the coach would actually chat. boring to play in silence. gg sir!"

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“Meanwhile in Soviet Poland.... Slow undead mens come to plays, and we send then WOOF WOOF back to kennel with doggies! gg sirs!”

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“Meanwhile in Soviet Poland.... Nothing. Not a sound was chirping, not even tiny little communist field mices.”

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“Meanwhile in Soviet Poland... Friendly mens come for happy party, but sadly for all POTATO VODKA was bad! Mens die, and so does silly migrant worker (banned from VODKA) who drink anyway from 'the fountain of sad mortality' and DIE!"

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“Meanwhile in Soviet Poland... Some french-canuck mens come and play. We fast fast chop chop them in LOS turns 1, and suddenly there are only 8 mens. Then beat-u-long-time-slow-and-hard GI for rest of game!"

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“Meanwhile in Soviet Poland.... Game start and go on for some while, with glorious Cow scoring great GOALS. Then.... "This game and your team are too lame for me". Concession. Soviets mens left confused as foreign visiting elfy mens leave pitch and not come back to finish game, and instead go straight to airport and leave to fly home. Very sad, as they not get to experience after game cabbage BBQ or trip to Soviet Salt mines near Krakov."

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"Meanwhile in Soviet Poland.... Opponent team just lie on ground for most of game not getting up and only smelling the flowers. Big hat soviets men confused, but think maybe this what they do in decadent Western BBs...”