Journal entry one: Dear diary, what a hallucination this is. I must have eaten a bad hotdog laced with some contraband from my deviant cousin Edmund because now I'm seeing freaks everywhere. Supposedly, my malfunctioning mind thinks it's been transported into an alice and wonderland world after hearing that dreadful noise coming out of those speakers when my cousin played a Manowar album! Oi, talk about a highway to deafsville!

Anyway, now i'm riding with a bunch of poor hygiene vagrants on brass chariots going literally nowhere! I don't think the leader is right in the head, but everyone loves following him. Maybe if they stayed in school longer or took a bath this month, they'd wake up and smell the mocha coffee! For now, I'll play along with this vile illusion of mine and keep up.

Eustace out.