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[R] Weak Super Heroes
Matter Eater Lad
#15
Lineman
MA
7
ST
3
AG
4
AV
7
R
0
B
7
P
0
F
0
G
3
Cp
0
In
0
Cs
0
Td
0
Mvp
0
GPP
0
XPP
0
SPP
0
Injuries
n, m
Skills
OK, a lot of people pick on Matter Eater Lad for having a useless power: he could eat anything. In the real world, he'd be really handy at cleaning up pollution, but yawn, as a superhero you'd have to come up with a pretty crazy scenario to make him valuable at all. Which is what the Legion of Superheroes did: faced with the terrible might of the Miracle Machine, which could make thoughts into reality, and which was likely to be used to destroy the entire universe (gulp!), they asked Matter Eater Lad if he would be a dear and just eat the darn thing. Which he did, with a side of fries and a coke. Hooray! He retired after that and went into politics on his home planet of Bismoll (seriously). Anyway, what I think is lamest about this guy is his name. "The Devourer" or "All-Consumer" would have been ok, or at least been more palatable than this one. I figure no superhero should come up with a name that criminals can't say when they're drunk. And come on: "Lad" is pretty hard to swallow. What was wrong with "Boy?" Or better yet, "Man?" We're not kids forever, you idiot.
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