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[X2] Wood Elf
| Labours of Astras Hercules<br> ---------------------------------------------- Lbour 1 ---------------------------------------------- I knew the Gods were angry with me, as usual, as for my first Labour I stood toe to toe with a foul Rotter by the name of Harrg SnottSprayer, flying under the banner of Drippy Holes... two names that instantly conjured up the thoughts of a welcome halftime shower, were I to be lucky enough to make it that far. The creature was huge, stronger than other Rotters, and had the speed of a Halfling... A Halfling I tell you! This was no ordinary Rotter! Luckily however, just before the match I remembered that my Father had blessed me with Iron Amour Of Invulnerability+1 and it had only just gone through the wash the night before (Uncle Neptune always said cleanliness was next to Godless, ah... those five baths a day he used to give me as a child conjures up some great memories), so I popped it on! The big brute managed to stun me 3 times throughout the game, and I fear were it not for my armour, things could have been worse. The game was tied at 2 each, but only due to the creature failing to pick the ball up in the dying seconds at my end zone. Following the match I discovered that my side stepping of SnotSprayers’ mucus had remained with me even after the game. Oh joy! ---------------------------------------------- Lbour 2 ---------------------------------------------- After my first Labour you can imagine the confident smile that swept over my face when I saw a incy-wincy Goblin emerge from the locker room! Oh this would be sweet... too embroiled in my own thoughts of victory was I, that I did not see the chain that disappeared into his changing room behind him. So you can equally imagine my surprise when I on the field I squared up to a Goblin and his 300lb buddy on a chain! Clearly the Goblin had been either smoking something or eating magic mushrooms prior to the game to think that he could ever make it in this one man arena - how on earth would he pick up the ball, let alone walk straigh!? I was utterly confused. The ball was kicked into me. Too engrossed in his swinging action, I slipped right by him, scooped the ball up and headed towards his end zone. He came swinging toward me and fell just short, wasting no time I zipped across the field and scored! Yay me! My victory dance (As a war dancer I'm very proficient at it) gave way to fits of giggles as the referee sent the little bugger off! In the end... I won 7-0... good game, good game. Such an easy game meant I needed no R&R so I busy set to training. I practiced tackling a Tree back home, turns out that that wasn’t such a good idea… I put my back out... man I felt old. No more tackling Trees during training for me! ---------------------------------------------- Lbour 3 ---------------------------------------------- My back was smarting again, but a quick massage from the Doc soothed the pain away… man I hoped I’d be facing a Snotling for my 3rd Labour. Well, well, well… I got to the field to finder that Azuth, of Swinger, had turned up to play me once again! I had to admit, this Goblin may have had only one ball, but it was a firkin BIG ONE to show up again after the 7-0 drubbing he got last time. He kicked into me again. I got the ball, zipped by and scored! He got sent off again! Mwahahahaha! The poor guy had managed to swing his ball a mere two times in as many games. I couldn’t stop laughing all game, and dropped the ball a few times due to the giggling fits. I managed a mere 5-0 this time. After the game I started boxing some Trees, remembering Tackle wasn’t good before, I managed to start knocking some of them over, with a good solid punch I could topple those fellows… I would be a daunting opponent for my next victim! ---------------------------------------------- Lbour 4 ---------------------------------------------- After my last two games I was on a high… okay, so, my last two games were against a goblin with a cannon ball, and he was useless, and he got sent off both games, but I didn’t let the naysayer’s discourage me… Nope, I was on a high, no wait, I was high, now I remember it was the mushrooms I stole from Azuth the Fanatic! Hmmm… can’t remember how I got to the pitch that morning, but I distinctly remember that my opponent was a Dog by the name of… … man it as strong shit! Anyway, the … dog’s… name was Killer Lamp, or something… I think it must have been a clever play on words about killing lampposts… meh… you know dogs. Don’t remember a whole lot about it, but I’m sure I knocked the mut from piller to post and won 4-0! The after party must have been great though as I woke up the following morning with a headache and some serious scratch marks down my back… hope she was pretty! ---------------------------------------------- Lbour 5 ---------------------------------------------- I’d run clean out of gear after the party the other night, so I called my dealer up, Azuth, to arrange another meeting! Did I tell you we swapped numbers? No. Well… we did, turns out he’s a nice guy under all of that Fanatical Hysteria. We met up, I got my Mushrooms, repaid him with a 6-0 whooping! I’m starting to think that Fanatics don’t make the best Blood Bowl gladiators. Anyway… on my way home I saw that Dog from the other night humping someone else’s leg, BITCH!!! I followed her home, got picked up by the cops for stalking, and had my stash taken away!!! Still, not all bad… Maybe I can utilize my stalking skills on the pitch? Hmm. ---------------------------------------------- Lbour 6 ---------------------------------------------- So… there was me, a bunk bed, a poster of Orlando Bloom on the wall, a urine-encrusted toilet in the corner and some pale faced freak with slicked back black hair and wearing a cape eyeing me up! This is prison! So I’m trying to stare at the floor all the while that I know that this goth in a gown is staring at me with his oddly hypnotic eyes, when the bat faced nerd finally breaks the ice and says “Fancy a suck?” I mean really! Do I look like that kind of guy! I promptly put him in his place and told him I’m a one dog kinda guy… but that didn’t stop him leering, oh no. Luckily, it was early morning and the sun was flooding through the window creating a golden divide down the room… and as we all know, Goths hate daylight, so that was one line he dared not cross. Luckily, Azuth came before nightfall and bailed me out… I love that little green guy and his never ending supply of mushrooms. When I arrived at the stadium I was pleased to find that I’d been entered into the 1v1 tournament and what’s more, Dr. Acula II, the goth from prison, and been signed up as my opponent! At last I would reveal myself (not in the way he had to me earlier that day), at last I would have my revenge! I could see that the goth was both shocked and scared to see me, the colour had drained from his entire body… now he was on my turf, and he knew it! My new stalking skills ruled the day, and Dr Acula II was proven to be the pretender that he was, barely ever making it into my half let alone scoring! I trounced him 6-0! Let this be a lesson to Goths everywhere!!! We don’t like you around here! |
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8 | 3 | 4 | 7 | Block, Dodge, Leap Side Step, Dauntless, Tackle, Strip Ball, Shadowing, Sure Feet, Sure Hands |
n, n, n | 16 | 0 | 61 | 0 | 1 | 16 | Legend 265 |
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| Games Played: | 16 (12/2/2) | | | TD Diff: | 46 (61 - 15) | | | Cas Diff: | 0 (0/1/0 - 1/0/0) |
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| Last Opponent: Little Brat | |||||||