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Past Players of Unseen University Pointed Ears
| Player | Position | Games | SPPs | Skills | Injuries | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 3 | The Professor of Virtual Anthropology II | Blitzer | 11 | 4 | Block | n |
| 11 | The Prehumous Professor of Morbid Bibliomancy | Lineman | 16 | 8 | Dodge | d |
| 9 | The Professor of Virtual Anthropology | Lineman | 5 | 0 | -ma | |
| 8 | The Egregious Professor of Grammar and Usage | Lineman | 8 | 5 | m, d | |
| 3 | The Egregious Professor of Cruel and Unusual Geography | Blitzer | 5 | 9 | Block, Dodge | -av |
| 2 | The Lecturer in Approximate Accuracy | Blitzer | 10 | 10 | Block, Dodge | d |