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Gnomes are trash

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NWBL NWBL ~ On Skaven ~ by The_Murker     Skaven feed on the misfortune of others. Without misfortune, rats starve. So important is this necessity for the enemy to fail, that skaven will often offer up bodies, in the form of blocks against, or even surfs, hoping for that slim chance the enemy will fail a GFI, or roll a block-less BOTH DOWN. A skaven carcass for an enemy re-roll spent is a good trade, for it is only when a strong enemy lacks re-rolls that the skaven can expect misfortune. Plan on it. Position for it. Donate more bodies to create it, if need be.     This fundamental principle of their Blood Bowl stems from their greater culture. The entire skaven civilization is built upon the principle of capitalizing on the random misfortune of others. Pure scavengers. Undetected misfortune is a precious resource wasted. Understanding this, the skaven clans devote unfathomable resources into surveillance. Surveillance of everything, everywhere, at all times is the goal. All in the name of detecting and reacting to misfortune. Vast tunnel networks permeate the underground of the Old World, even in the most remote and seemingly worthless regions. Millions of skaven live miserable, pain-filled lives, slowly starving to death while carrying out their three inbred objectives.. survive, listen, report on unexpected events. Fear, and the terrible torture that comes from failing at the Great Horned Rat’s objectives is what keeps the skaven surveillance juggernaut running. A comet, an earthquake, an ork invasion, or a great fire. If these things happen anywhere in the known world, the skaven know about it, and are assessing if they can take advantage.     If they know, it means they have access, via tunnels. The next question is what is to be gained in the area, and then how quickly can a large enough force get there to secure the prize. The 13 care not about the loss of skaven life, or an entire skaven force, if it secures even a chance at the prize that misfortune has put before them. The skaven way is but a simple formula. With the fundamental belief that misfortune always comes, the skaven empire relies on the following fundamental principles of war. KNOWLEDGE. ACCESS. SPEED. SURPRISE. And finally, BOLD, RUTHLESS, SACRIFICIAL, ALL-OUT ATTACK WITH OVERWHELMING NUMBERS in pursuit of the objective. The prize. Skaven plans are often poor, as by design they are hastily created, and acted upon without practice or oversight. But even horrible plans succeed a tremendous amount of the time when an enemy is caught off guard, is distracted, or especially helpless.     An unfortunate event creates a window of time, often of unknown length, and the key to getting inside of that window with the element of surprise is speed. So very much of skaven war relies on speed. As does their Blood Bowl. Speed on the pitch gives access. Access to whatever prize Nuffle puts before them. A BLITZ, an unexpected Turnover, an extra turn.. Nuffle will provide something.. or the skaven will starve.

		For					Against
Opponent	Race	TV	SPP	Cas	Gold	Score	TV	SPP	Cas	Gold	Gate
Consiglieres to the rescue	Wood Elf	960k	12	0/1/0	60k	2 - 0	1000k	5	0/0/0	40k	8k
Toronto Union Football [TUF]	Elven Union	1040k	14	0/2/0	75k	2 - 1	970k	9	0/0/0	65k	11k
Scales of Carnage	Lizardmen	1140k	12	0/1/0	80k	2 - 1	1160k	11	1/0/1	70k	12k
Purple Devils	Underworld Denizens	1090k	13	2/1/0	85k	1 - 1	1000k	9	0/0/0	85k	15k
Alabaster Vypers	Chaos Renegade	1180k	10	0/0/0	80k	2 - 2	1350k	18	1/2/1	80k	12k
Purple Devils	Underworld Denizens	1100k	18	2/2/0	95k	2 - 0	1020k	5	0/0/0	75k	15k
Consiglieres to the rescue	Wood Elf	1140k	22	1/3/1	75k	2 - 3	1270k	15	0/0/0	85k	11k
Sharp Ball Punters	Black Orc	1140k	7	0/1/0	70k	0 - 2	1560k	18	1/2/1	90k	14k
Purple Devils	Underworld Denizens	1130k	6	0/1/0	65k	0 - 0	1070k	9	2/1/0	65k	13k
Coal Butte Boozers	Orc	1020k	14	1/1/0	70k	2 - 1	1220k	13	0/2/1	60k	10k
Alabaster Vypers	Chaos Renegade	1180k	11	1/1/0	95k	1 - 1	1150k	11	2/0/0	95k	17k
Scales of Carnage	Lizardmen	1320k	9	0/1/0	80k	1 - 0	1350k	10	0/3/0	70k	14k
Ottawa South Orcrited	Orc	1120k	18	2/2/0	100k	2 - 1	1320k	13	2/1/0	90k	16k
Tractor Club	Dwarf	1290k	5	0/0/0	65k	0 - 2	1320k	20	2/3/0	85k	13k
Fangcouver WhiteChaps	Vampire	1180k	11	1/1/0	75k	1 - 0	1260k	11	2/1/0	65k	13k
Coal Butte Boozers	Orc	1200k	10	0/1/0	105k	1 - 1	1310k	9	1/0/0	105k	19k
Ottawa South Orcrited	Orc	1270k	17	0/2/0	100k	3 - 0	1290k	16	5/1/0	70k	14k
Smith Wessen	Norse	1280k	10	0/0/0	100k	2 - 1	1380k	10	0/1/0	90k	16k
Ulthuan Earthquakes	High Elf	1160k	12	1/0/0	95k	2 - 1	1250k	9	0/1/0	85k	15k
Tucanes de Xochitepec	Amazon	1210k	9	0/1/0	80k	1 - 1	1070k	13	2/1/0	80k	14k
Scales of Carnage	Lizardmen	1230k	9	1/0/0	75k	1 - 0	1130k	6	0/1/0	65k	13k
Tractor Club	Dwarf	1250k	11	0/1/1	75k	1 - 1	1350k	11	0/2/0	75k	13k
Beachtown Bonebois	Tomb Kings	1470k	9	0/1/0	80k	1 - 2	1190k	28	1/7/1	90k	14k
Ottawa Sludge Riders	Nurgle	1420k	11	1/1/0	85k	1 - 0	520k	6	0/1/0	75k	15k
Beachtown Bonebois	Tomb Kings	1290k	10	0/0/0	90k	2 - 3	1180k	21	2/2/0	100k	14k