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Team Munchkin
Retired [S] Halfling

<td align="left">This fluff is an altered version of the opening chapter of The Snobbit.
The original text can be found from <a href="http://personal.inet.fi/koti/tolkienfan/index.htm">Morgil´s Tolkien related site</a>

<b>Tuolta löytyy myös suomenkielinen versio, joka on tottakai hauskempi! =)</b>


In a hole in the ground there lived a snobbit. He was not just any old
snobbit, for he was <b>Bimbo Nutsacks</b>, who was to become a hero of legendary
reputation. Well, perhaps not quite legendary but a certain kind of reputation he would
surely acquire. For now, he was lying in his comfy-chair, smoking some hallusogenic
olware substances in his pipe, when all of a sudden there was a knock on the door.

"Who the devil can it be at this hour?" thought Bimbo. It surely couldn´t be the
cops, since there was only a single officer in Shaire, and Bimbo had always
paid his bribes on time. So, our fellow snobbit decided to check if it was the
Rainbow-Serpent at his door by chance, or World Peace or seventeen
green statues of Lenin upside down like last week. But, much to Mr. Nutsack's surprise,
this time there was something completely different.

Behind the door stood a tall, <b>bearded freak</b> clad all in grey, with
a tall, pointed grey hat and a wooden staff of unknown qualities.

"Hmm...This is indeed a strange hallucination," thought Bimbo. "Who might you be
and what might you be wanting?" he finally asked.

"I am Analf the Gray, the Wizard of Side-Earth. And you are stoned, are you
not, little snobbit?"

"You took the foot right out of my mouth there, pal."

"Have you ever heard of <b>Blood Bowl</b>, snobbit? Does the name ring any
bells?" inquired the greyish figure.

"I wont confess! I´ve never seen...heard of that! The kid is not my son! I
used rubber, I swear I did! It´s not my fault..." Bimbo´s voice turned to
quiet mumbling under the wizard´s grim stare.

"Why, you don´t have a clue of what I´m talking about!" Analf smiled widely.
"Excellent. You shall make a fine lineman for our team. I´m leaving
now, but I shall return tomorrow with my company. Until then, snobbit."

"Dammit! What a bum trip," muttered Bimbo, closed the door and returned to
his chair.

The next day Bimbo was lying in his comfy-chair, smoking the same stuff as
always, when all of a sudden there was a knock on the door.

"Who the devil can it be at this hour?" thought Bimbo. It surely couldn´t be the
cops, since there was only a single officer in Shaire, and Bimbo had always
paid his bribes on time. So, our snobbit decided to check if it was the
Rainbow-Serpent at his door by chance, or World Peace or seventeen
green statues of Lenin upside down or a weird, bearded freak clad all in grey
like yesterday, but he was wrong again.

This time behind the door was an awful lot of Snobbits. Eleven, managed Bimbo
to count. They were Turkish-looking folk, with their hairy hands and foreheads
glimmering with sweat-drops. They were all armed with forks and knives.

Analf was there too, standing like a shepherd in the middle of the flock of
Snobbits. With his forefinger, he pointed out of the door and shouted to Bimbo:
"That Redneck Tree is also a part of our team. He might be a bit slow at times, but you better
not make fun of him, lest he'll get mad at you and
throw you in the audience. Because you, Bimbo, are to become
a fine lino for our <b>line of scrimmage</b>."

"A whino? On the line of...?" asked Bimbo in his confusion.

"Silence! You already know more than is good for you. We shall spend here the night and
begin our travel towards the tower of Ice ´n shards before the sun rises tomorrow", concluded
Analf. "Now, bring us booze and we shall party!"

Way past noon on the following day, the hungover company finally left from Shaire towards the
famous tower of Ice ´n shards, where a great Blood Bowl-tournament was to be held. The referee
would be no other than Sauermann Weiss himself!


[There is no "official" translation of this last part, so I have made a crude translation of it by myself
and added some of my own, more BB-related fluff :D]

During this long travel clouds fill our almost legendary Snobbit's mind.
After gathering the required courage from the bottom of his personal hip-flask,
Bimbo finally dares to raise his question for the wizard:

"Hey, Analf. Wouldn't it be the time you told us why <i>you</i> are involved with
this matter, anyway? I thought the tourney is meant only for Snobbits."

Analf sat down to his classical auditory stance and took a deep breath. Bimbo and his fellow companions
also sat down, each sighing heartily. This would obviously be another
of Analf's infamous monologues.

"O, what little confidence you have towards me! You Snobbits are so entangled with all your small things,
your oliphaunt collections, re-buildment of your cities and maximizing one's wealth that you have
completely forgotten that there are many things in life that are much greater.
<u>By this I mean my serious urge for bragging and dominating others!</u>
Once our team, <b>Munchikens</b>, wins the Shaire championship title, we can challenge
the best teams from the whole Side-Earth to an enormous and messy Blood Bowl-tournament.
Then <i>I</i>, Analf the Grey, the great wizard, will be able to collect all the cash from the gate
and sell all kinds of official fan stuff for enormous profit. Oh yeah, and if our team somehow manages to pull off
even a single draw, I shall be able to brag at my fellow wizards for at least the next five decades!"

After saying this, the wizard began to think about his forthcoming salary, his soon-to-be-thick
wallet and his fellow Snobbits, who would survive approximately five games before ending
their days very painfully and laughed mightily under his beard. "Oh yes, Snobbits are even
dumber than the Turkish kebab-makers they so closely resemble. They won't suspect a thing", he mumbled to himself. >:]
New Team Page Beta
Player Ma St Ag Av Skills Inj G Cp Td It Cs Mvp SPP Cost  
1
Analf the Grey
Ogre
5 5 2 9
Bone-head, Loner, Mighty Blow, Thick Skull, Throw Team-Mate
Pro
   4 0 0 0 3 1 11/ 170k
(140+30)k
  
2
Redneck Tree
Treeman
2 6 1 10
Loner, Mighty Blow, Stand Firm, Take Root, Thick Skull, Throw Team-Mate
   4 0 0 0 2 0 4/ 110k
(110+0)k
  
3
Bimbo Nutsacks
Halfling
5 2 3 6
Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty
   3 0 0 0 0 0 0/ 30k
(30+0)k
  
4
Fang Paste
Halfling
5 2 3 6
Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty
   1 0 0 0 1 0 2/ 30k
(30+0)k
  
5
Stab-A-Matic
Halfling
5 2 3 6
Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty
   4 0 1 0 0 0 3/ 30k
(30+0)k
  
6
Boots of Running Really Fast
Halfling
5 2 3 6
Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty
   0 0 0 0 0 0 0/ 30k
(30+0)k
  
7
Duck of Doom
Halfling
5 2 3 6
Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty
   4 0 0 0 0 1 5/ 30k
(30+0)k
  
8
Duck of Many Things
Halfling
5 2 3 6
Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty
   4 0 0 0 1 0 2/ 30k
(30+0)k
  
9
Instant Wall
Halfling
5 2 3 6
Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty
   4 0 0 0 1 0 2/ 30k
(30+0)k
  
10
Liquid Wench
Halfling
5 2 4 6
Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty
+AG
   4 0 2 0 0 1 11/ 70k
(30+40)k
  
11
Mummy Powder
Halfling
5 2 3 6
Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty
   0 0 0 0 0 0 0/ 30k
(30+0)k
  
12
Doppelganger
Halfling
5 2 3 6
Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty
   2 0 0 0 0 0 0/ 30k
(30+0)k
  
13
Lame Goblin
Halfling
5 2 3 6
Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty
   3 0 0 0 1 0 2/ 30k
(30+0)k
  
14
Limburger and Anchovy Sandwich
Halfling
5 2 3 6
Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty
Diving Tackle
   4 1 1 0 2 0 8/ 50k
(30+20)k
  
15
Tasty Pie
Halfling
5 2 3 6
Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty
   4 0 0 0 1 0 2/ 30k
(30+0)k
  
16
Hireling
Halfling
5 2 3 6
Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty
Side Step
   2 0 2 0 0 0 6/ 50k
(30+20)k
  
16 players  
Coach: Karhumies Re-Rolls (120k): 5  
Race: Halfling Fan Factor: 9  
Current Team Value: 1240k Assistant Coaches: 2  
Treasury: 10k Cheerleaders: 0  
Team Value: 1240k Apothecary: Yes  

Games Played:4 (3/0/1) |TD Diff:4 (7 - 3) |Cas Diff:-5 (6/5/4 - 12/6/2)
Last Opponent: Tools R Us