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B'ORCalona
P [L] Orc
 Based on FC Barcelona in Spain

Awesome player pics done by Tesifonte



STAFF

Prezzi-denter
Mr Greenback Skullnutta

MoneyBags Counta
Miss Lotta BigSumz

Direktor of Killin'
Mr Cloraform Fistflinga

Hed Coach
Mr Ramrutta Russo

Medik
Doc Choppa Tomakapainstoppa

Ass Coach
Mr Duwazz Dabossasez

Skout
Mr Lukknow Furdadandis


GRUDGES & RIVAL CLUBS
Note that most of these clubs have fallen by the wayside as they lack the stamina and majesty of this beautifully green club

Essetesford Town
Bloody game and coin-toss defeat in OBBA Cup 2nd Rd Season IV

Bristol Reavers
Rival Orc club and nearest pretender to B'Orcalona's claim to be the premier Orc club

Real Sociadead
Rival Spanish Club and coached by obnoxious guttersnipe that spreads malicious rumours in the press

ZKSA Mozzkva
They employ evil wizards to win in the last turn every game against B'Orcalona, they are also evil!!!

Fulham Fleet
Owed an absolute trashing after they caused the biggest upset in the OBBA Cup ever, despite B'Orca doing little wrong Fulham had drunk the cream of Nuffle that night!


Club Records
Record Currently Active All Time

Top Scorer:
CURRENT:Pedro Rodriguez 12
ALL TIME:Samuel Eto'o 16

Top Tackler:
CURRENT:Lilian Thuram 32  

Man of the Match:
CURRENT:Gudjohnsen; 9  

Top Fouler:
CURRENT:Gianlucca Zambrotta 62
ALL TIME:Cesc Fabregas 65

Best Win:

4 – 0 v BBC Internazionale Milano (season IV)  

Worst Defeat:
; 1 - 4 v Fulham Fleet, OBBA Cup 1st Rd Season IX  

Highest Attendance:
174,000; Season VIII v Oval Balls FTW  

Top Passer:
CURRENT: Hleb; 9
ALL TIME:Thiago Motta 17

Most Spp's:
Gudjohnsen; 141  

Most Blocks:
CURRENT:Lilian Thuram 564  

Most Rushes:
CURRENT:Gudjohnsen; 172
ALL TIME:Samuel Eto'o 426  



Career History
Season Achievements

I Did not participate as the team was still in pre-season training

II OBBA's second Season and the team started in Feeder League. Lead the group all the way until the last week where results went against them and they finished 3rd. The OBBA Cup saw the team go out in the first round against strong semi-finalists Mummywell. Team was still promoted to Conf North as money talks!!!!

III The third season saw the team win their opening game against Dynamo and Lilian Thuram laying a DE Lineman with a Crowd push. The season progressed reasonably well, though it was a tight division with several teams all finishing within 0-3 points of each other. The last day win over Hamburg Skeletons and the earlier win over BBC Internazionale Milano were considered the highlights of the season for B'Orcalona fans. Stayed in the Conf North. In the OBBA Cup B'Orcs went out in the second round after losing 2-1 to Daggers & Redfridge

IV The fourth season began with a narrow defeat against the eventual Conf North Champions "Moskova", though the team won all there following matches to finish in second place. In the Cup B'Orca made it to the second round going out on a coin toss following a 2-2 draw with Essetesford Town

V The fifth season again began with a narrow defeat against "Moskova", but the team battled through to get third spot in the Championship on TD difference over Sirius 1907'ers. Promotion to the Premiership beckoned.

VI OBBA PREMIER LEAGUE CHAMPIONS!! The sixth season saw the team go on an incredible 8 game unbeaten run in the league which saw them crowned OBBA Premier League Champions after finishing the campaign off with a 2-0 vistory on the last day against Sartosa Pirates. The previous game had seen the side remarkably overcome the nearest rival, Mummywell, 3-0 in a comprehensive victory. The season did see critical moments go the B'Orca way, but then in reality that is the mark of all the OBBA champions over the years, fortune favours the brave, and this year for once the Orcs were the bravest of the lot. Key players were Gudjohnson, Deco and Messi. All three were outsanding both offensively and defensively, but that should not take away from what is a rounded team performance with all players conrtibuting, even if it is just with their flabby ass sitting in peoples way like Guadiola does :P

VII Not a great season with disapointing results near the end gifting the title to Bristol, B'Orca's rival club

VIII B'Orca's worst season since entering the premier league. A dreadful result on the opening day where despite dominating the game, B'Orca were hit on the break and lost 1-0 to Daggers. Things improoved slightly and it looked like B'Orca might have a chance afterall, but the three games against title rivals were poor and it required a great win over newly promoted Watford on the last day to keep B'Orca up where they belong

IX A steadier season than Season VIII. B'Orca have this season found that they lack the required strength in depth to compete in every game. Amazing as this seem when considering that B’Orca are the biggest club in the world and have such a quality line up on paper; the reality is that each and every game the team is victim to a variety of horrendous subterfuges by opposing teams who love to use drugs and knuckledusters; repeated slanderous accusations by the collective press about B'Orca players, causing them to be held for questioning and missing games; dodgy agents causing friction between the two greatest Orc player in the world Gudjohnsson and Thuram often causing dressing room acrimony meaning that they will not take to the field together.The loss of Josep Guardiola and Cesc Fabregas this season has been a hammer blow for B’Orca due to the unique qualities these two players possessed. Indeed it is now time for a rebuild and a new Troll and gobo double act is sought to offer at least the threat of a TTM even if it is rarely attempted.Also it is now being speculated in the press that Coach Russo is losing his grip on the squad and even his mind as he tries to bring the massively talented squad with fantastic support back into the sort of form that they demonstrated in their title winning run in Season VI

X B'Orca's final season in the OBBA saw a 5th place finish in another poor season. A cash flow problem due to a scurrilous investigation into the financial affairs of the club saw the owners arrested and the club withdrew from competition

XX Oh Happy Days! The mighty B'Orca are re-formed and ready to add some star power to the un-bejeweled ranks of the OBBA. With a FF of 17 they still are the most popular club on the WORLD!!!

Season VI















Post Match Sequence
1) Check if player has done any of the following:
3 Touchdowns
3 Casualties
5 Completions
1 Interception
5 Fouls
Killed a player
Killed a player over 51 SPP
Killed three players of the same race
Killed a player by surfing them
Scored using a TTM

2) Update Stats and player profiles

Show matches | Show stats | Show Development | Show past players | Yearbook | Team Options | Refresh
Progression: Standard
#NamePositionMaStAgAvSkillsInjGCpTdItCsvpSpCostOp
1 Rafael MárquezBlack Orc Blocker4418Stand Firm, Dodge, Block, Guard, Mighty Blow-av, -ag9702018119780k (80+110k) 
2 Aliaksandr HlebLineman4349+AG, Dodge, Guard, Block-ma6011100246550k (50+120k) 
3 Juliano BellettiBlack Orc Blocker4429Block, Guard, Mighty Blow, Frenzy, Stand Firmn680202668880k (80+100k) 
4Thomas VermaelenBlack Orc Blocker4429Blockn1400021980k (80+20k) 
5 Bojan KrikicBlitzer6339Block, Guard, Stand Firm, Mighty Blow, Fend 552501346380k (80+80k) 
6Javier MascheranoBlack Orc Blocker4429  100000080k (80+0k) 
7 GudjohnsenBlitzer6349Block, Guard, Tackle, Mighty Blow, +AG, Strip Ball, Kick 8910141491120780k (80+140k) 
8NeymarBlitzer6339Block, Guard, Tackle 13020021680k (80+40k) 
9 Gianluca ZambrottaLineman5339Guard, Block, Tackle, Dirty Player, Fend 1003401298450k (50+110k) 
12Ronald KoemanLineman5339Dirty Player, Block 32020121850k (50+40k) 
13 Seydou KeitaLineman5339Dodge, Block, Side Step 69430523350k (50+80k) 
15 Andoni ZubizarretaThrower6338Sure Hands, Pass, Block, Dodge, +MA, Fend 371680246470k (70+100k) 
17 Harold GoldsnakeJourneyman Lineman5339Loner 100000050k (50+0k) 
12 players  
Coach:Russo Re-Rolls (120k):4  
Race:Orc Fan Factor:8  
Team Value:2190k Assistant Coaches:0  
Treasury:80000 Cheerleaders:0  
Tournament Weight:2190k Apothecary:Yes  

Games Played:101 (49/15/37) |TD Diff:19 (123 - 104) |Cas Diff:164 (164/128/52 - 100/51/29)
Last Opponent: Bristol Reavers