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Claw FTW!
Roster [L] Chaos Chosen
This team is a non-traditional chaos team in that I hope to develop the 2 AG 4
chaos warriors into 'armoured elves'.

My objective is to score fancey TD's in an elf style but with warriors and the odd beastman to boot.

Ultimately, a Long Bomb TD between 2 warriors is something I will keep trying and hopefully complete.


Crabby made an LB in the last game-it was stupendous-the crowd went wild(er)- he was still lapping up the applause when the shocked beasty holding the ball got hospitalised.

Alf got 2 AG plusses as his first 2 skills-its meant to be!

Team News:

This week there has been some bleating (*sigh*)in the locker room about a few of the "Big Lads" hitting like "pansies" and moving the ball aroundin an elf-like fashion.The word "girly" was used.This caused a training ground bust up mid-week and the coaching staff had to step in before someone got eaten.

Things seemed to have settled down, but reports in the latest edition of Spike! suggest that both the Chaos All-Stars and the Elfheim Eagles scouts have been spotted in the crowd at recent matches.Surely, one of those fellas is barking up the wrong tree!?

In other team news, new coach, Tony "Sweet Skills" Mo'Berry has insisted that his team will persist with actually picking the ball up, and, get this, trying to pass it!You couldn't make this stuff up sportsfans!Despite heavy, heavy criticism from seasoned ex-pro's including Alan "Face Ripper" Hansome and Lord Borak himself, coach McCoy continues with this crazy style that has left many pundits snorting into his/her/its Orca-Cola.

Lord Borak was asked for a quick word and he came back with "Velocity".Puzzling.

11 games in and his team have scored with more players than they have maimed which may be a neww league record!

McCoy has proclaimed himself "The Chosen One" and proved it by revealing a new eye growing in the back of his head which he hopes will prove very useful for team training sessions.

Almost under the radar this week has been the apointing of a new Apothacary Mike "Magic Sponge" McGee, who is already proving unpopular due to his new dietry guide for the team.His suggestion that meat should actually be dead before consumtion is proving difficult to swallow for some of the lads.

He was actually hired due to him owning an actual magic sponge.

Another recruit this week is D'sdjt'dg'aahk! the beastman who likes to be refferd to as "Mutton" in a post ironic homage to something or other.

He's been moved up from the reserves where he's been sharpening his horns and practicing his head down charge."Mutton" has also just enrolled at Altdorf University where he is studying modern philosophy and flower arranging.

The fans are hoping to literally see what he's made of in the coming weeks.

Feb 2015

Team update: the lads have hardly been playing in the last few years, just a few exhibition matches.Trying to gain entry to elf only leagues has been problematic and even the stick on elf ears on the beastmen have not been enough.

There has been a mooted name change, "Geheimesnacht Globe Trotters", and a kit colour change to a lucky red from their traditional blue.

In the last game our Big guy almost bought the farm but the team doc brought him back even though he's a bit useless....

June 2015

Game 56: what a shocker for Claw this was.Failure to make good decisions led to dropped pickups and poor placement led to a lone skink stealing the ball and nipping in for a 1-0 lead.

With 3 turns to score vs only 6 players everything looked fine but a bad block with the wrong player resulted in a lost turn.

With the clock ticking down the lads finally made a decent pass but our catcher was mugged by a pair of skinks scant yards from the line........

After the match the team owners, Squid inc., reportedly sacked the coach Tony "Sweet Skills" MoBerry-although this is just a Twatter rumour......for now


Earth year 2019 sees the lads "competing" in the Isle of Misfits League for the second season.....fully committing this time, season 1 was rife with cancellations.

We played a warm up game to practice our low level violence but alas, our team big guy Dr.Andrea Mitzicolli, thought he could dodge past a rat and tripped over it's tail....he was eaten raw after the game-it was what he would have wanted.

Game 1

We still haven't won a game, our last opponent made the most fortuitous 1 turn touch down-sneaky elves, always sneaky side-stepping...

Game 2

Another draw...we should have stalled but Alf threw a beauty over a crowd of zombies and left too much time on the clock.....bugger...1-1, a funny game

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# Name Position Ma St Ag Av Skills Inj G Cp Td It Cs vp Sp Cost  
1River SlitboneBeastman Runner6338Horns 000000060k (60+0k) 
2 Anduin "Skull Crusha" Longb...Chosen Blocker5438Dodge, Pass-av526206129100k (100+60k) 
3Alf made 10 completions!Beastman Runner6338Hornsm800000060k (0k) 
4BeastBeastman Runner6348Horns, Block, +AG 31530222860k (60+60k) 
5 AlfChosen Blocker5458+AG, +AG, Block, Leap, Pass, Sure Handsn, -av, m85165111114242100k (0k) 
6Liam "Rick" O'SheaBeastman Runner6338Horns 200000060k (60+0k) 
7YeastmanBeastman Runner5337Horns-av, -ma1700000060k (60+0k) 
8Passy McPassFaceBeastman Runner6338Horns, Wrestle 701001860k (60+20k) 
9Yorrick ColdPassBeastman Runner6337Horns, Diving Catch-av, m12010111060k (0k) 
10 CrabbyChosen Blocker4439+AG, Sure Hands, Pass Block, Strong Arm, Two Heads, Extra Arms-ma, -ag89936399180100k (100+140k) 
11Alberto IbanezChosen Blocker4438Block, Sure Hands, Guard, Mighty Blow, Jump Upn, -ma, -av, n85560406133100k (100+110k) 
12Another disguised elfBeastman Runner6338Horns 600000060k (60+0k) 
13When will this nightmare end?Beastman Runner6338Horns 100000060k (60+0k) 
14Adam SandlerBeastman Runner6438Horns, Wrestle, Tackle, Frenzy, +STn390106117060k (60+110k) 
11 players (+3 players missing next game)  
Coach: dudesweet101 Re-Rolls (120k): 3  
Race: Chaos Chosen Fan Factor: 3  
Team Value: 1540k Assistant Coaches: 0  
Treasury: 0 Cheerleaders: 0  
Tournament Weight: 1970k Apothecary: Yes  

Games Played:91 (18/16/57) |TD Diff:-74 (72 - 146) |Cas Diff:-3 (113/63/29 - 119/60/29)
Last Opponent: (NWFL) Dargavs Tomb Kings