 | Match Spread:
(13) Amazon 9-3-1
(50) Chaos 37-6-7
(21) Chaos Dwarf 14-4-3
(18) Chaos Pact 16-2-0
(50) Dark Elf 31-13-6
(15) Dwarf 11-3-1
(15) Elven Union 9-3-3
(12) Goblin 11-0-1
(12) Halfling 11-0-1
(36) High Elf 22-6-8
(29) Human 19-6-4
(16) Khemri 14-1-1
(26) Lizardman 17-7-2
(22) Necromatic Horror 14-4-4
(20) Norse 14-4-2
(26) Nurgle 17-5-4
(14) Ogre 12-2-0
(41) Orc 33-6-2
(24) Skaven 10-9-5
(14) Slann 12-1-1
(11) Undead 10-0-1
(5) Underworld 4-1-0
(21) Vampire 16-1-4
(34) Wood Elf 20-4-10
Total:
(547) 385-91-71
Winners of FUMBBL CUP 16!
Retired Names (Legends):
Xenograf Voltic #7, lineman, 216 spp, -av -ma, retired after 157 games. (+st, block, tackle, dodge, side step, guard)
The last original team member, Xenograf Voltic was not only the longest living member of the brigade, not only the longest living and only legendary pro elf lineman, but the longest living pro elf on record when he retired after taking a -ma on his 157th game. This was compounded by his -av injury he received the very game after reaching legendary status. He played 54 games at av6, but the coaches determined that since the Sandrooster took a critical injury in the same game he was unlikely to receive a potion treatment and he was allowed to retire in good graces.
Puma Kuma #11, catcher, 191 spp, -av, retired after 97 games.
(block, dodge, side step, fend, tackle, +ma)
A master of the basics; Puma Kuma only rolled his stat after achieving legendhood on his 90th game, a record for slow ascent by a catcher. Sadly he was injured shortly thereafter in the Lustrian Challenge by a rowdy hobgoblin.
Swift Sandrooster #2, blitzer, 532 spp, -ag, dead on his 172nd game.
(mighty blow, tackle, +ag, +ag, dodge, fend)
The greatest pro elf to play the game at the time of his demise, Swift had a legacy of causalities far beyond any of his elf brothers. Took a nasty foul in his 137th game resulting in a -ag injury. Received the potion at game 155, ag recovery proved critical for penetrating dwarf defenses. Advanced Geometry tripped on a drive on game 171, opening up an attack on Sandrooster that led to another -ag injury. Killed with a failed apo on his very next game by the very same coach.
Giles Haverdash #5, catcher, 428 spp, dead on his 122nd game.
(+ma, block, dodge, +ma, +ag, sprint)
Legend on his 30th game, Giles lived comfortably in Geometry's shadow as the lesser of the Long-Range Twins. The coach admits sprint was a horrible call, side step or leap would have served the team tremendously better. Nevertheless, Giles was a defensive monster, able to reach and recover any loose ball, to take advantage of even the tiniest opening. In game 122, Giles was hit with a hard blitz after a good pass but failure of the receiver's part. He took a -av, but the coach seeing a chance to end his exorbitant contract, bribed the doctor to kill him instead.
Advanced Geometry #9, catcher, 520 spp, -av, retired after his 130th game.
(dodge, block +ma, sprint, +ma, sure feet)
Legend on his 41st game, Advanced Geometry was a textbook OTT machine. In his 130th game, he was carelessly used to mark an ogre ball carrier and without the benefit of the apo, suffered a horrible injury. With 2 other catchers biting it in the same match, the coach decided to cut his loses and rebuild the program around the more durable Wynn Loon.
Wynn Loon #1, blitzer, 303 spp, -ag, n, retired after his 133rd game. (guard, +st, dodge, +st, tackle, +ma)
Not that durable, I guess. Wynn Loon was present for a short window during the Sandrooster era, and between ST5 and AG6 the blitzers were the workhorses of the team. Sadly, once the legends started leaving and the offensive patterens slowed down, Wynn took more hits than the coachign staff were anticipating. One thing led to another and he accumulated two critical injuries in short succession, leading to an honored retirement during a planned team rework around Sheep Shear and Lord Watergate.
Barry Boondoggle #6, catcher, 178 spp, dead on his 43rd game.
(block, dodge, +ma, +ma, sprint, sure feet)
Barry sure took his sweet time reaching legendhood, then no time at all cashing it in. He died with a failed apo on a mummy block. Easy come, easy go, these players are a bit (extremely) boring.
Lord Watergate #4, catcher, 245 spp, n, retired on his 104th game.
(Dodge, Block, Guard, Side Step, +AG, Leap)
A planned rework around the twin AG and ST catchers Lord Watergate and Sheep Shear failed when in the very game the Lord achieved his legendhood, Sheep had the fleece skinned from him. On his own, Watergate served as a fine leaping ball retriever, but was altogether underwhelming on a team that couldn't make use of his support. Took a niggle on a failed leap and failed apo on turn 1 against a chaos team. Retired into ambiguity.
Butterhopper #3, catcher, 203 spp, rip, dead on his 70th game.
(Dodge, Block, Side Step, +MA, Guard, Sure Feet)
No idea how the hopper lived so long with such a ridiculous name. Guard and range was an ok combo, but ultimately hard to synergize. Died marking a rat blitzer and a failed apo kept him out. Prep for the FC got a tad harder.
Farsi Gamble #2, blitzer, 458 spp, rip, dead on his 193rd game.
(Mighty blow, tackle, +MA, dodge, diving tackle, frenzy)
Farsi was a real pro. Admin thought to get him killed before the FC, but he proved himself above and beyond by dominating the circuit and pushing the SCB to ultimate victory. He had the most CAS, most blocks, and most games of any pro elf when he died early in a terrible damage game that saw his and another legend's demise.
Koalfrisk #6, catcher, 206 spp, n, retired after his 52nd game.
(Dodge, +MA, +MA, Sprint, +AG, Sure Feet)
Koalfrisk was the FC OTT threat, though thanks to numerous blizzards, he didnt really do much in there. Took a niggle in the same game Farsi died, staff decided a rebuild would be better than supporting a niggled, blockless catcher on defense.
Smoke on the Water #9, thrower, 270 spp, FIRED after his 130th game.
(+AG, dodge, block, strong arm, accurate, sure hands)
In an unprecedented move, upper management passed down a harsh edict in the wake of a series of failures following the FC victory. Smoke on the Water, the textbook definition of an ideal thrower was let go perfectly healthy in order to rebuild the team and raise team morale out of the dumps. His contribution will not be forgotten by the fans, and neither will this abnormally political interference by the SCB bigwigs. |
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I'm a crybaby SJW an...
[R] Elven Union
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