"Party! Bonus!"

"Shwing!"

"I am El Niño. Yo soy El Niño. For those of you who don't habla español, El Niño is Spanish for: The Niño."

"I'm only a dolphin, ma'am."

"You know, human suitcases? It's that thing where a midget on roller skates wears all your clothes at the same time and you pull them through the airport."

"It sure is a beautiful day. Know why? My wife walked out on me. Isn't that nice? I'm so glad the b**** is gone."

"Oh, now I've done it - I've cut the dickens out of my finger."

"Brian Fellow is not an accredited zoologist, nor does he hold an advanced degree in any of the environmental sciences. He is simply an enthusiastic young man with a sixth-grade education and an abiding love for all God's creatures."

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I'm just a caveman. I fell on some ice and later got thawed out by some of your scientists. Your world frightens and confuses me! Sometimes the honking horns of your traffic make me want to get out of my BMW.. and run off into the hills, or wherever.. Sometimes when I get a message on my fax machine, I wonder: "Did little demons get inside and type it?" I don't know! My primitive mind can't grasp these concepts. But there is one thing I do know - when a man like my client slips and falls on a sidewalk in front of a public library, then he is entitled to no less than two million in compensatory damages, and two million in punitive damages. Thank you."

"Ingredients of Happy Fun Ball include an unknown glowing substance that fell to Earth, presumably from outer space."

"To be made a saint in-a the Catholic Church, you have to have-a four miracles. That's-a the rules, you know. It's-a always been that-a. Four miracles, and-a to prove it. Well, this-a Mother Seton-now they could only prove-a three miracles. But the Pope-he just waived the fourth one. He just waived it! And do you know why? It's-a because she was American. It's all-a politics. We got-a some Italian-a people, they got-a forty, fifty, sixty miracles to their name. They can't-a get in just cause they say there's already too many Italian saints, and this woman comes along with-a three lousy miracles. I understand that-a two of them was-a card tricks."