| Poll |
| KPL |
| Oh, yeah, Iam in. |
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46% |
[ 70 ] |
| Iam outta here |
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17% |
[ 26 ] |
| PIE: is this a pointless poll or what? |
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36% |
[ 54 ] |
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| Total Votes : 150 |
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PainState
Joined: Apr 04, 2007
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 Posted:
Apr 07, 2015 - 04:52 |
 
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#1 The TV favorite CANNOT TRANSFER MONEY TO PETTY CASH. IF the Favorite transfers money to petty cash it is bugged and replaces the 100K for the underdog with what every value the over dog has put in. SO the TV favorite CANNOT TRANSFER MONEY TO PETTY CASH.
#2 BOTH TEAMS are required to buy two cards. NOW DO NOT RUSH THROUGH THE PREGAME LIKE YOU NORMALLY DO. I know deep down most of you just click right through that do you want to purchase cards screen….. DO NOT DO IT!!!!! DO NOT CLICK “NO” WHEN IT SAYS DO YOU WANT TO PURCHASE CARDS.
I suggest both coaches talk to each other when the match starts to make sure everybody reminds each other that both of them need to purchase two cards.
If you ignore your fellow coach who is telling you that you must purchase cards, you just blow right through that purchase cards screen. THEN YOU LOSE YOUR 100k. You click OK on the inducement screen and leave the 100K on the table. It is the only fair way to do this. IF you are the underdog and by some miracle also fail to purchase your 2 card minimum, then you must leave 100K or more on the table and click OK after you have spent the remainder of your balance.
This requires you to think and communicate with your opponent about setting up the match. I know you guys can do it but I also realize the epic failure that could result from years of just clicking through the purchase cards phase.
Here is a step by step breakdown on what will happen.
#1 The confirm match screen appears. You both hit start match.
#2 The TV Favorite will have a pop up that says do you wish to transfer money to petty cash. YOU HIT NO, Heck NO!!!!!! The TV underdog will have a screen that pops up and says do you wish to transfer money to petty cash, YOU HIT NO. Why? because I have not tested to see if that is bugged also. Now of course if both coaches are felling a little frisky you can be a lab rat and have the underdog transfer money and see what whacky thing the client does so that we all know if it is safe or not to eat that flower with the red dots on it.
#3 IMMEDIATELY the TV favorite will have a screen pop asking if you would like to purchase cards? YOU HIT YES, DAMMIT, YES!!!!!!!!!
#4 You then go to the purchase cards screen and purchase one magic item and one Dirty trick or 2 cards of the same deck, (more on that later)
#5 Then the TV underdog will suddenly have a screen pop up that says do you want to purchase cards? You hit YES, you better believe I do, YES.
#6 The TV underdog is allowed to purchase 2 OR MORE CARDS. (More on that later)
#7 The inducement screen shows up and the TV underdog spends the remainder of his money on inducments.
Got it? Good.
IF this becomes an issue with the season I will simply disable the 100K and we move forward with out added inducement money for cards.
Do you guys think you can handle this? Is this to much for you to remember?
THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT SO READ THIS SECTION 3 TIMES IF NECCESARY TO UNDERSTAND AND COMPREHEND HOW THIS WILL WORK
Both teams will get 100k in inducement money to purchase cards only. You will have 2 choices on how to approach this.
#1 You can pick one magic item AND one dirty trick. During the course of the match you can use both cards.
#2 You can pick 2 cards of the same deck BUT can only use one of them during the match. You get to pick which one BUT YOU CAN ONLY PLAY ONE CARD if you take two from the same deck
Let me repeat that.
#2 You can pick 2 cards of the same deck BUT can only use one of them during the match. You get to pick which one BUT CAN ONLY PLAY ONE CARD if you take two from the same deck.
The TV underdog is allowed to purchase more than 2 cards if he so desires BUT one of them must be a magic item. If you forget this rule then you can only play one card from the same deck that you took multiple cards from. EXAMPLE: you buy 4 dirty Tricks and no Magic Items you can only play one dirty trick |
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Beerox
Joined: Feb 14, 2008
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| Posted:
Apr 07, 2015 - 05:08 |
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Couldn't have said it more concisely myself. |
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m0gw41
Joined: Jun 12, 2012
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| Posted:
Apr 21, 2015 - 11:37 |
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Settra vs Prophet Update:
In the most active KPL battleground that is the NFC after 20 games and one forfeited match there have been 8 direct clashes between the Prophets minions and Settra's loyalists and it's all square with 4 wins apiece (although one of these was settled without any engagement after one of Settra's teams retreated).
Looking like in these direct match ups the Prophets followers are more bloodthirsty, leaving 6 of Settra's warriors permanently dead in the skirmishes vs 3 dead disciples. Settra's warriors prefer to leave their victims crippled as an example to those who follow the false idol, leaving 4 permanently injured disciples (vs one of their own perm-ed).
3 more battles between the two factions are planned before the end of Round 5 including one between two of the oldest KPL teams: the Bhagar Dune Raiders (Settra) and Quatar Nobnibblers (Prophet) and the two current unbeaten teams Zandri Scurvy Dogs (Prophet) and Numas Nummulites (Settra).
(For the purposes of Stats I've assumed that the Barnsley Tomb Guardians are declared for Settra to make it 5 teams apiece). |
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PainState
Joined: Apr 04, 2007
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| Posted:
May 19, 2015 - 19:47 |
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Tomb King Settra sits on his golden throne. Reading the latest KPL update from the computer nerds in the dungeon below the palace.
Nummulites VS Warriors match had 5 specs at one point. More specs were watching KPL action than any of the 17 matches in ranked going on. More than the 6 matches in Box going on.
The glory of the KPL is starting to sink into coaches minds now. THEY MUST SPEC KPL MATCHES!!!!! |
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m0gw41
Joined: Jun 12, 2012
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| Posted:
May 19, 2015 - 19:57 |
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They saw a glorious display from a Tomb Guardian with a Chainsaw, a skeleton with stakes and a leaping, very long legged, wrackling wight. They also witnessed some terrible coaching from me. At least we killed some prophet worshipping scumbags. |
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PainState
Joined: Apr 04, 2007
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| Posted:
May 22, 2015 - 16:49 |
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Tomb King Settra sits on his golden throne contemplating how many different ways he desires to kill the majority of coaches in the KFC: North American conference.
It has been a unmitigated disaster of legendary proportions this season with scheduling and coaches falling like swatted flies left and right to RL issues.
Here is the plan Settra has come up with.
Once the NFC: Europe closes out the season, most likely in under 2 weeks. The KFC will have 5 days after that event to finish the season out.
IF the KFC cannot finish out the season within that time frame Settra will close out the KFC regular season and the KPL moves onto post season play. |
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PainState
Joined: Apr 04, 2007
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| Posted:
May 22, 2015 - 17:18 |
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*** This is the current breakdown of the KPL Conference/Divison ****
NFC Conference: Europe
North
Quatar Nobnibblers (Necro)
Zandri Scurvy Dogs (Necro)
Ka-Sabar Warrirors (Undead)
East
Lahmia Impalers (vampire)
Blood of the Prophet (vampire)
Numas Outlaws (vampire)
South
Barnsley Tomb Guardians (Khemri)
Beremas Boneshakers (Khemri)
West
Numas Nummulites (khemri0
Bhagar Dune Raiders (khemri)
KFC: North America
North
KFC North Divison turned to dust and bone and died.
East
Numas Night Terrors (vampire)
Rasetra Epicurean Club (Vampire)
South
Lybaras Wolves (Necro)
Ka- Sabar Conquerors (Undead)
Ka-Sabar Bedouin (Undead)
West
Lybaras Sand Pounders (Khemri)
Rasetra Reavers (Khemri)
Quatar Heretics (Khemri)
Here is where we stand heading into the closing rounds of season #4 and current standings for the playoffs.
NFC
North
Zandri Scurvy Dogs
West
Numas Nummulites
South
Beremas Bone Shakers
East
Lahmia Impalers
Wild Card for NFC: 2 spots open
Quatar Nobnibblers: Almost 100% that they have this locked down, could still win the divison though.
Dune Raiders: need to win the last match and hope the tie breaker comes up good for them.
Barnsley Tomb Guardians: Still have 2 matches to play, have the inside track for the second spot.
Blood of the Prophet: Still has 2 matches left. Win both of them, who knows. They will be right there in the end. Although their last 2 are against the 1st and 3rd place teams this season.
Note: Warriors are eliminated due to they will finish last in the North and thus not be eligible for post season play.
Numas Outlaws are out. Licking their wounds and getting set for next season.
KFC: North America
North
None: The divison imploded and then exploded and then died this season.
East
Numas Night Terrors
South
Ka Sabar Bedouin
West
Quatar Heretics
Wild Card: 3 Spots open. The top wild card team will be the #4 seed in the playoffs.
Lybaras Wolves: close fight to finish in the top wild card spot
Rasettra Reavers: Almost a lock to make the post season
Rasettra Epicurean Club: Still fighting and have a chance.
Ka Sabar Conquerors: On the outside but still have a fighting chance
Lybaras Sand Pounders: I think it is over but you never know.
In the KFC this season the 3 division winners all get in and the next 3 teams make it for wild card. The normal rules that only 2 teams from a divison can make the post season has been removed for the post season this year in the KFC. |
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Cavetroll
Joined: Jan 21, 2009
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| Posted:
May 22, 2015 - 18:21 |
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So, does that mean there are openings in the KFC North for next season? |
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nerf indigo 2016 |
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PainState
Joined: Apr 04, 2007
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| Posted:
May 22, 2015 - 21:20 |
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| Cavetroll wrote: | | So, does that mean there are openings in the KFC North for next season? |
I think it is safe to say that the KFC: North America needs a serious infusion of new coaching talent. |
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Cavetroll
Joined: Jan 21, 2009
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| Posted:
Jun 01, 2015 - 21:56 |
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WhatBall
Joined: Aug 21, 2008
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| Posted:
Jun 02, 2015 - 03:45 |
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They would go in the Vamp division, which is East or West I think. Hope to see you back. |
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PainState
Joined: Apr 04, 2007
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| Posted:
Jun 04, 2015 - 16:34 |
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The onlookers in the crowded back alley in the slum district part like the red sea as Tomb King Settra marches with his imperial guard to the front door of some low rent back alley dive. The HQ of the Blood Bowl team, Blood of the Prophet. It has been used for the last 2 months as a temple to the prophet.
Settra looks around and wonders how many of these rabble have converted? Maybe he should just kill the lot of them and let Old Gods sort them out.
Settra’s mind is brought back to the present by a loud roar and the sounds of broken furniture in the dive. A severed head comes rolling out of the front door, the head of a vampire.
Settra kicks the rolling head down the alley, a pack of stray dogs picks it up and the head vanishes into the slums like all the other trash.
Settra pulls out his mighty two handed sword, nods to his guards and they rush into the temple of the Prophet, CARNAGE!!!!!
The prophets followers are all dismembered, hacked into little kibble bits, blood all over the floor and walls. Sitting on a alter at the far side of the common room is a mutant of extreme proportions.
Coach Cowhead has drank too much blood from the prophet and he has mutated into a slug looking creature, tentacles all around him, razor claws for fingers, his eyes are dark red and ooze blood.
Cowhead raises his head and looks at Settra, a smile forms on his deformed, mutated face. He stands up and charges Settra and his guards.
The rablle outside hear what sounds like a titanic thrown down of epic proportions. Bricks are starting to crack in the walls, the foundation seems to be moving as if a earthquake is happening. The Rabble starts to back away from the low rent dive, in fear of their lives.
Suddenly the wall explodes and coach Cowhead comes flying through the brick and mud wall, crashing into the alley. Tentacle are severed off, he has multiple slash wounds on his chest and one of his arms has been severed and just dangling on his side.
With puma like reflexes Settra leaps through the hole. His sword moving so fast it is just a blur. Cowhead stands up before settra and charges, they lock in place. Settra using his Demi God strength to push Cowhead backwards, he crashes against the wall across the small alley, the bricks crack, the wall is about to collapse. Settra advances and impales Cowhead on his sword, his body goes all the way to the hilt, Settra moves the blade sideways and cuts Cowheads bloated, disgusting, mutated body in HALF.
The two parts flop in the alley and then stop. A green ooze, like acid is eating up the cobble stone path.
Cowhead, wannbe Lt. of the Prophet, lays there dead, mutated and damned for all eternity in HELL.
Rah-ma comes up to Settra, holding what looks like a chalice, markings of the prophet on its side.
“My King, it is what you and I feared. The offering cup for the blood is laced with warpstone. There are traces of it at the bottom. My priests will analyze the warpstone but I suspect this is not from the north. Its source is much closer. You can see the pink and yellow flakes in the warpstone, look right here, this is interesting.”
Settra looks at Rah-ma and gives him a irritated look
“yes, rah-ma, very interesting to a alchemist or an “egg head”. I do not need someone to tell me that warpstone comes from the fortress of Nagash.”
Farther down the alley the Prophet and his minnions sneak back into the crowd.
“That idiot Cowhead. Such a fool, now Settra knows of our plans. We must win the KPL championship or else our sponsor will be very displeased. His anger most likely means our deaths my friends. We must redouble our efforts.” |
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PainState
Joined: Apr 04, 2007
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| Posted:
Jun 04, 2015 - 16:42 |
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Well, it just so happens there is a open slot for a Vampire team in the KFC east.
How lucky. |
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awambawamb
Joined: Feb 17, 2008
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| Posted:
Jun 04, 2015 - 16:57 |
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| PainState wrote: |
Well, it just so happens there is a open slot for a Vampire team in the KFC east.
How lucky. |
another bunch o' scallywags coming ahoy, ARRRRH!
Fer' ZANDRI! |
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"la virtù sta nel cielo e nella terra, ma anche nelle nuvole e nelle stelle"
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PainState
Joined: Apr 04, 2007
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| Posted:
Jun 04, 2015 - 17:52 |
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END OF SEASON IS AT HAND
Tomb king Settra has declared that the regular season will end on 6/11 and the post season will commence on 6/12.
He grows weary of the slackers, no showers and vanishing act coaches.
Forfeits have been handed down. |
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Gnomes are trash
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