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Joined: Jan 05, 2016

Post   Posted: Apr 10, 2017 - 08:26 Reply with quote Back to top

Welcome to NBFL´s new show, it´s SCARY RANKING TIME!!!

With special guest Menona Loco, the crazy, old orc-trainer from the Popocatepetl! *Camera swings to an old, hunchbacked Orc with 3 big rings on his fingers and un-matching, outworn cloths with different sponsors like Chanelf, Zharr Naggrund Oil, etc. written on, he tries to smile, but with his eyes´ crazy expression and those yellow and black teeth he actually frightens the camera-goblin who inmediatly swings back to NBFL anchor Javier Arroz*

Today we will present to you a brand new Ranking: A top 10 list of the most scary teams of the NBFL, taking in account their roster and their cas-historial. It will be awesome!
Besides we want to award the least scary team with the Sweet Teddy Bear for the number 32 on this list. And the Sweet Teddy Bear for NBFL season 18 goes to... *Drum Whirl, Javier Arroz holds a Teddy Bear to the camera*... The Baltimore Stompers!

Now, before we start with our number 10, Menona Loco want´s to mention some teams who didn´t quite make the list...

„Thatz right! Jacksonville Pactuars and San Foulcisco 69ers, you might have scary rosters, but you DON´T KILL ENOUGH to GET ON THIS LIST!!!It´s all about pain, not a fancy record, or a cup, or a free Chanelf-makeup case!! It´s no elfish power-ranking, we are talking real bloodbowl here!! It´s about what team you don´t want to face because of the risk of being trashed and because of player´s widdow´s accusations and lamentations...“
Ok, thank you, Menona Loco, let´s… “Minnesota and Tampa Bowl are the other way round. Your filthy Elf-rosters don´t scare anybody, but you got yourself a nice cas-record, you stick the boot in hard, i respect that. Especially Charles Monson, that elf inspirez the young generation, to never give up and get up again and again and again, who knows how often he was injured and how he deals with the pain every day. Oh, and Tampa Bowl, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA oh, well, you should have made the list for beating the crap out of your division rival Carolina Black Panther Party, but well, it was a NBFL-fan-poll, so...”

Now let´s not let our viewers wait any longer and get straight to our numbers 10, 9 and 8!

10 – Seattle Werehawks

Menona Loco, what do you think of our #10 team? „Baaahhhh No pomber whatsoever!! But still a nice Cas-record. The team is not that scary overall but that wight Kevin Williams is a BEAST!! - they should check him on illegal substance-abuse...“

9 – Lustriadelphia Pterosaurs

A very scary roster, coach, isn´t it? “Yeah, those Tpombers are nice, but no dirty player, are you kidding me? They don´t kill enough, why are they even on this list?? And i really have a problem with that Kroxigor. He should focus on hittin´stuff, not trying to do fancy stuff! I would fire him!!!”

8 – Keg City Brew Chiefs

„I don´t like to see any of those tanga wearing drunks on a top list, but this team really knows how to hit n foul. Maybe number 8 is a little bit high for them, but thier cas-record is not bad at all.“

What do our viewers think of our ranking? Please leave your comments below, we make a commercial break and are back in a second for our numbers 7, 6 and 5!
SCARY RANKING was presented to you by Kirby Fried Chicken „eat like you kill it“ and Chanelf „long, blonde, irresistible like an elf!“

Last edited by MenonaLoco on Apr 10, 2017 - 09:45; edited 1 time in total

Joined: Feb 15, 2005

Post   Posted: Apr 10, 2017 - 08:29 Reply with quote Back to top

Great fluff!

Joined: Feb 26, 2013

Post   Posted: Apr 10, 2017 - 08:31 Reply with quote Back to top

Love it!

Joined: Jan 05, 2016

Post   Posted: Apr 10, 2017 - 09:48 Reply with quote Back to top

Welcome back to SCARY-RANKING!!!

Let´s continue straight away with our numbers 7, 6 and 5, and I am glad to have Menona Loco with us to provide us with his expert comments.

7 - Atlatl 'n' Falchions

„I have never seen anything like it!!! A tackle-heavy lizzard team and they even got a dirty player, a very complete team. Now THAT´S truly scary! Just look at their record, you just KNOW they will kill one of your players and hurt a few more.“

6 – Cincinatti Bludgeoners

„We are entering scary – land now... lot´s of claws, mighty blow, guard, dirty player,... I would avoid that team at any cost!!“

But with schedules you can´t avoid, you just have to face them!

„HAHAHAAAA that´s true! And the Bludgeoners are like a wolve in a chicken´s cage in their division! Rats without Rogre, Pro elfs without tpomber nor dirty player, and we already heard about the Sweet-Teddy-Bear-Trophy winner. That´s cruel. I love it. It´s amazing!!“

5 – Tennesse Titanz

Your favourite bloodbowl race, coach, what about this team?! „Meh, i don´t like those black-orcs. In my days they wouldn´t even have been drafted... But that thrower though, nice piece, knows exactly whats important in bloodbowl, bloody glass cannon!!! And they just kill n hurt more than the Bludgeoners, they seem to be greener than them, hohohooo!“

After the commercial armour-break we will reveal our numbers 4 and 3!! It will get really scary, you don´t want to miss it!! Please leave your comments below.

SCARY RANKING was brought to you by Nikelf - t16 foulers smile brighter.

Joined: Feb 26, 2011

Post   Posted: Apr 10, 2017 - 17:05 Reply with quote Back to top

Nice stuff! Some scary teams thus far.

What is Nuffle's tree? Risk its trunk, space the branches. Touchdowns are its fruit.
What is Nuffle's lawn? Inches, squares, and Tackle Zones; reddened blades of grass.

Joined: Jan 05, 2016

Post   Posted: Apr 10, 2017 - 18:20 Reply with quote Back to top

Welcome back to SCARE-RANKING!!!

Thank you for being here with us today, Menona Loco, what do you think of this ranking so far? „I do not THINK, i HIT stuff!!! Remember this, youngsters, that´s what you are training for, that´s what coaches want to hear from you! They want to see your fire, aggression and hatret!!“

And our powerfull number 4 is…………. .. .. .. ..

4 - Malice Cow-Boys

“Now, here begins the fun, a very nice, round chorf roster, could be number 1, if their record would be where i expected it to be. But like that, meeeh... and i don´t like that stupid cow! My mino back in da old days did only 2 cas in a whole cup winning tt-season, and that cow was trained, had block, claws, stand firm, true story.”

3 - Waaaghrizona Carnivorcs

„Now that´s mostly a very nice orc-roster, you are falling just some cas and tpomber(s) short of being the scariest of them all. Keep it up, you are Orcs and no Bretonnian scum, I want you to compete for the crown of the Scary Ranking! Your Black Orc A.Q. Shipley should get additional training and reps. Oh, and fire A. Ellington and A. Peterson already!! What where you thinking, they are Goblins!!! And these 2 players don´t even know how to stick a boot in... I also hate Trolls, i really profoundly hate them, but your K. Fortt really seems to know how to block, so, i can live with that, but Ellington and Peterson... just let K. Fortt have a nice breakfest with Goblin beef tomorrow morning!!!“

These were our number 4 and number 3, what do you think? Stay with us, we will present to you our number 1 and number 2 just after the break!!

This was SCARY-RANKING, presented to you by faceblock, wasting peoples lifes since 2004.

Joined: Feb 25, 2013

Post   Posted: Apr 10, 2017 - 18:25 Reply with quote Back to top

Top 3.... woohoooo \\o \o/ o//

No Gobbos? But how to scare the oppo regarding the OTTD without threat players?

Joined: Jan 05, 2016

Post   Posted: Apr 10, 2017 - 18:33 Reply with quote Back to top

Menona´s eye starts to roll uncontrollably: "OTTD - what are you talking bout?? Who is scared of a flying goblin who probably dies landing on his face??? He don´t even deal mighty blow landing on other players heads!!! It´s ridiculous!! You are talking power-ranking-elven-BS-stuff here, nobody is scared of losing, but most players are afraid of dying, being beheaded, clawpombed, gangfouled, etc., it´s SCARY-RANKING!!!"
Before the top 2 SCARY teams are revealed i would like to see more reactions like that, opinions, critics, maybe some thumbs up, and some speculation on who´s nr. 1! Very Happy

Last edited by MenonaLoco on Apr 11, 2017 - 00:59; edited 1 time in total

Joined: Feb 26, 2013

Post   Posted: Apr 10, 2017 - 19:12 Reply with quote Back to top

I'm totally baffled who could be in the top 2 at this point.

Joined: Mar 21, 2014

Post   Posted: Apr 10, 2017 - 19:42 Reply with quote Back to top

Denvork has to be first and then I think the New York Wrecks will be #2 since they have caused so many casualties this year so far.

Lost Angels would then be the biggest omission but considering they got 7 casualties yesterday if the list was made before then than I could see them being overlooked.

Joined: Feb 26, 2011

Post   Posted: Apr 10, 2017 - 19:57 Reply with quote Back to top

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaggggghhhhh Denvork!

What is Nuffle's tree? Risk its trunk, space the branches. Touchdowns are its fruit.
What is Nuffle's lawn? Inches, squares, and Tackle Zones; reddened blades of grass.

Joined: Feb 15, 2005

Post   Posted: Apr 10, 2017 - 20:02 Reply with quote Back to top

After the second half, let's see who get's omitted..

(Insert gangster pose)

Joined: Aug 20, 2014

Post   Posted: Apr 10, 2017 - 20:19 Reply with quote Back to top

Surprised Houstovania isn't on the list.
Only 2 teams have caused more casualties than us, and one team is currently tied with us at the mid point

Joined: Jan 05, 2016

Post   Posted: Apr 11, 2017 - 00:58 Reply with quote Back to top


Here we are, finally we get to know who our #2 and #1 are! Teams you would always avoid if you would spot them on the gamefinder, teams you have nightmares of, when you are scheduled against them!! But first we got to respond to some fan-mail. They think we overlooked Lost Angels, and hey, they did 7 Cas yesterday!

The old one-eyed orc-coach makes a derogative gesture with one hand and mumbles "Meeehhh, no scary boot whatsoever...So what, they spanked some frogs yesterday, croak!! splash!! pffffff"

What our special guest wants to say is that we indeed did the list without this result and this puts this Lost Angels team definitly on the radar! Smile

Another one says, that Houstovania should be on the list, because of their cas-record. 11/9/5, they are indeed up their with the best!

"Let me put it this way: If your roster doesn´t scare me, i can always think that you maybe spanked some pro-elfs, or squished some frogs, etc. I see 2 mighty blow and 1 dirty player. I have seen HALFLING TEAMS WITH SCARIER ROSTER SLOTS!!! So, congratulations to your cas-record, but you are right there with Minnesota High Kings, nice record, but who would be scared of elfs??"

Ahmmm, what our coach wants to say is, that we didn´t overlook you but you might be right there to make it on this list.

“Bla bla, spit it out already, everybody knows that we are talking about the NY. Wrecks and the Denvork Bronkorks for the #1 and #2!! Peoplez just wanna know, who came out on top!!”

That´s right, Menona Loco, but we should analyze the teams this time before we reveal this!

“Ok, that´s easy! Bronkorks are greener than those Wrecks!!!”

Oh come on, Menona Loco, why would you give the Bronkorks the #1 SCARY RANKING title? I mean, besides the fact you are an orc yourself?

“More mighty blow, more black orcs, more Cas, more guard, more dirty player, more everything, that´s what it means to be greener!!!”

But Wrecks have a similar record AND a clawpomber!

The old orc imitates the anchor Javier Arroz: “Thay-have-a-claw-pomber….as if that was all that matters!!” Menona Loco stands up, takes the Teddy Bear from the first show and rips it apart.

And Bronkorks had a 0 cas-game lately…

“…and they recovered nicely from it, trashing the very Minnesota High Kings!”

Well, they could toy around with squishy elfs while the Wrecks had to deal with scarier bloodbowl players: Vampires!! That´s why Wrecks couldn’t get the same cas-record out of their last game!

“Now listen, they are all professionals, they are in the NBFL! There are no excuses! Independent of your oponent, you have to produce cas n kill n kill n cas!! Just reveal that bloody ranking already!!”

Well, i am sorry, but you are incongruent right there: Before you said that it didn´t count just to spank frogs, now you say it doesn´t matter, who your oponent was - that´s double standart!

Suddenly the huge orc face is very close to Javier Arroz and he can feel his breath and see his eye dancing around, the Orc begins to tremble..."Juzzt.Shpit.it.outz.already!!...grrrrr...."...

äh..As you wish, coach, on the first place are…....... …. drum whirls….. …..
…… huge drum whirl …. …. …… ….. the Denvork Bronkorks… “HA!!! Told ya!!!” …and the NY. Wrecks too, it´s a draw!!

“What??? Oh, come on, let me see this sh*t!! Nooo, this can´t be right, what were you thinking of, our viewers expect a perfect ranking from 10 to 1, not from 10 to 3 and then a ONE-ONE-DRAW!!!”

You see, coach, this wants to teach us something else. Whenever we rank for example the best QB of all time, there are always different aspects, one is better in one thing, the other is better in another thing, one plays in a harsher environment, the other has a better team around him, etc. And then you realize, it´s not about the ranking and the numbers, it´s about…

“Oh, cut the crap, that´s not right!!! I know exactly how to fix this! We will do it like in the old days!!! I know, that my Bronkorks and your Wrecks have a scheduled game ahead. This game will show us once and for all, who´s the scariest of them all!!! And you will see, those Orkz will give those Wrecks the same treatment as they did to those Minnesota Elf-thingz!!!”

Thanks for watching SCARY-RANKING!!! See you next time!!! This program was brought to you by faceblock - “find out who was clawpombed and gangfouled today”

Joined: Jan 22, 2009

Post 10 Posted: Apr 11, 2017 - 03:01 Reply with quote Back to top

HA-ha!! Neither "scary" team is scary enough to be #1!! Razz

(go elves)
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